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How do you deal w/ change?

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joflier

joflier

Ideal_Rock
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There are a LOT of changes taking place at work for me right now. And I''m one of those people that doesn''t like change. I like routines and sticking to the same thing. Its a comfort thing. Some of these changes are good, some - not so good, and some just not necessary. In any case, its all mostly out of my control, and my mind is just going haywire. What do you do to cope with changes that you don''t like?
 
I take things one step at a time. It''s not worth getting riled up about things you have no control over. in essence, I put my big girl panties on and deal with it.
 
When I''m dealing with a change with which I''m very uncomfortable, I tend to put more energy into the things in my life that I can control. I''m not often very affected by change, but when I am that''s what I do.

For example, I tend to be a bit more productive in terms of creating new art or writing, I may rearrange the furniture in our house, or work out with more determination, or cook more. I suppose it''s my way of focusing on what I can change or control, and leaving what I can''t change alone.

I also read a lot more when I''m stressed out, which is my favorite method of escape.
 
I step back and figure out what changes are worth fighting over, and which ones I should just deal with and let go.

It also helps that I can vent (and whine) to my husband and be my neurotic self with him. I always feel better after I vent with him, and he gives me a hug and tells me it''ll be ok because "my wife is awesome and can do anything, and if she can''t, I''ll always be here to give her ice cream".
 
After having reflected, I'll share 3 responses:

meditation can help (though I don't do it enough), draw a line (pick your battles), and learn to lobby.

I'm going to say that again, though, with some more detail.

a) Although religious thinking is not considered welcome here, and I'll encourage our moderators to delete my response if it is seen to not be apropos...it was my first response.

I've identified as a buddhist for many years, and they talk about change a good deal. As a main practice, meditation is designed to help one experience things in a somewhat more transparent way, removing some of the "gravity" or "deal breaking" demands our preferences draw us to for having something one way or another.

b) But I've been raised in another tradition, which happens to be Judaism. It's probably more known for practices that draw one to cultural biases (chicken soup, etc), and it is maybe not famous for dealing with change, not to mention the fact that sometimes change means having your population experience suffering, or worse.

So, I've found value in seeing how these 2 religious traditions can work together, which, in the case of the discussion of change, makes me reflect on what I'm being told is also known as the "Serenity Prayer." I read this in Google:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

This prayer is largely associated with Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), but it was not written for them. A member discovered it in an obituary in 1939 and brought it to Bill W., a co-founder of AA, who was an Episcopal priest. It was perfect for the situation of an alcoholic, and AA promoted it widely."

c) Finally, as a practical matter...once you determine that some things really should be changed (back), or changed forward...I think that developing skills of persuasion...and generally...good people skills...can go a long way to accomplishing important and good things.

So, not only knowing when to hold em and when to fold em...but also..."how to complain" to a purpose...that I think is another important response.

I hope this response has been on point.

 
Sorry to be of no help, but I tend to freak out as my primary way of dealing with change. Become introverted and try not to think about all that needs to be done.

The only solution I come up with is usually writing lists of priorities and keep those as guidance for how to keep my mind focused.
 
Date: 10/26/2009 4:50:30 PM
Author: MC
Sorry to be of no help, but I tend to freak out as my primary way of dealing with change. Become introverted and try not to think about all that needs to be done.

The only solution I come up with is usually writing lists of priorities and keep those as guidance for how to keep my mind focused.
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Lol. Yeah, me too.
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And I''m trying really hard not too. I just really dislike change.
Thanks guys, for the suggestions. I think the worst part about all this, is that I have a full week until these changes take place. So I''m just trying not to dwell on it.
 
I hate to say it, but I don''t deal well with change either. Spending as much time with friends and family who are supportive helps tremendously. Try breaking down tasks into smaller pieces so everything''s not so overwhelming. If you can, maybe try getting out and doing something to get away from it all for a while. I did that recently when my mom came for a visit, and it worked wonders. I hope things are going okay Jo!
 
If the change (at work) benefits the business I work for, I can handle it. That''s what being a manager is all about - - what''s best for the company. If it is change for the sake of change, arbitrary and ill-advised, I usually confront the author of the change and we reach a compromise.

I have computer changes (not for the better) that drive me up a frikkin'' wall. Now I have to re-password my files every month. As if anyone really wanted to do my job . . .
 
I go into "survival mode" where I just make myself keep going, and eventually the things that are new become routine. I really don''t like change!
 
HI:

I love change and embrace it. I actively become invovled in the change process--acting on committees, etc--as I find being informed and interested less stressful. Good resume booster too....

cheers--Sharon
 
Date: 10/26/2009 12:14:08 PM
Author: Haven
When I'm dealing with a change with which I'm very uncomfortable, I tend to put more energy into the things in my life that I can control. I'm not often very affected by change, but when I am that's what I do.


For example, I tend to be a bit more productive in terms of creating new art or writing, I may rearrange the furniture in our house, or work out with more determination, or cook more. I suppose it's my way of focusing on what I can change or control, and leaving what I can't change alone.


I also read a lot more when I'm stressed out, which is my favorite method of escape.
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I totally agree with Haven on this! I definitely try to focus on things I can "control" so that I don't feel as out of control of my life. This doesn't always lead to positive things for me personally, but it is a coping mechanism and something that is hard to change.

I do always try to remember the phrase (although it is religious in origin, I am not religious but find the meaning just the same):

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
 
Put things in perspective. Remember the things I have control over (which isn''t much) and let go of the rest. Try to see the silver lining in changes that might now seem so positive at the time. And when things get really bad do what MagsyMay does and recite the serenity prayer. Sometimes over and over again.
 
My company was acquired by another this past summer, and it''s been interesting meshing the two corporate cultures, establishing synergies, and cleaning house.

We''re going through a ton of change, but I welcome it as I truly believe that processes need to be re-evaluated every so often. Things just get stale. The phrase "but we''ve always done it that way" drives me batty.

I deal with change by contributing and questioning (when appropriate). I make sure to chime in and give my feedback. Then that way I have no one to blame but myself if I don''t like the final outcome.

The only problem I have with the process of "change", is that things will be bad before they get better!
 
I hide under the covers in bed. Such a lovely place to be... but when the time comes I just do whatever I have to do to get it over with. And then I pout with ice cream after.


Not saying you should do what I do though. :)
 
I get psychotic, paranoid, and obessive. Thanks for asking.
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Seriously though I''d going through the same thing. I HATE HATE HATE IT. No advice except to say, I hope you handle it better than I have cause I haven''t handled it well at all. ((HUGS)) and sorry for the upheaval at work.
 
Date: 10/27/2009 5:20:40 PM
Author: swedish bean
I hide under the covers in bed. Such a lovely place to be... but when the time comes I just do whatever I have to do to get it over with. And then I pout with ice cream after.


Not saying you should do what I do though. :)
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Hiding under the covers is totally the best especially with a cuddily cat to curl up with. . .(reason my kids have been late to school a few times - I couldn''t get up b/c my cat is SO warm)
 
I HATE change. But when I have to deal with it and there''s nothing I can do about it I just try and relax in other areas of life. Read a book, listen to music, exercise. Do things you enjoy to help take your mind off the stressful changes occurring in other areas.
 
I agree with Haven.

I tend to focus on other stuff, like running... or working out. AND... unfortunately, I''ll complain to whomever will lend me their ear for a couple minutes (never more than 5 minutes... that is when I''ll change the subject.) oh, and no one I work with... someone who loves me, who''s ear I''ve hijacked.
 
Well, I used to be really bad at it, but since we started this whole expat adventure I''ve been thrown one major life altering curveball after another and I admit I''m getting better so it must at least in part be a learned skill.
 
I''m immune to change especially at work. We have a CFO that likes to shake things up. Two years ago he took every single Finance and Accounting Director and put them in a different area. All.of.them. Our Director of Audit became the Director of Real Estate Finance. The Director of Accounting became our Sr. Director of Audit. The Director of Treasury became the Director of Accounting. So on and so forth.

Last year he did the same with the Managers.

This year the Sr. Analysts are on a rotational program where they switch roles every 8 months. I''m staying put as are most of my coworkers in the audit department (the audit committee was not pleased that he switched our directors around) but the change is happening so frequently that it doesn''t bother me anymore.

I would just focus on the positive and take every change as an opportunity to improve and learn.
 
WOW! So many of you are against change that it¡¦s no wonder my employer made us all go to a change workshop. I found it a totally useless workshop as life is a every changing thing and you learn to adapt and evolve but many at my firm has OP¡¦s mentality regarding change. My philosophy has been, if you don¡¦t adapt you will be left behind! I guess I embrace change and take it on full charge as being in a routine isn¡¦t for me as it gets too boring. I¡¦m not one to just ¡§settle¡¨. I secretly want my employer to be bought out so we can go full gear on change and give the pink slips to folks that are slowing us down (higher management folks mainly as the little guys got no choice but to change ƒº). My firm is way behind our competitors and if we don¡¦t change we will be forced out of the market within as close as the next 10 years. So the question I always ask folks is regarding change at work. If it¡¦s a good thing (like my employer it¡¦s a long overdue process) why not embrace it? I mean why do you want to be the one slowing the firm¡¦s growth? Routines and habits can be re-established! Sorta like, I hated Vista but used it so I can be fully functional if my employer decides to switch from XP to Vista. I¡¦m also in the process of teaching myself to step away from my safe haven of knowing all the shortcuts in Office 2003 to learn Office 2009 (latest version). I want to be in a position where if I switch employers or my employer switches programs I can be fully functional with the new softwares! I am very excited for Window¡¦s 7 though! Heard some great reviews regarding it as they made huge improvements!
 
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