How do proposals usually go?

[coda72]

As you say, people vary. My husband proposed to me without a ring, and at the time neither of us knew he was going to propose! I said this in another recent thread, but we were paragliding in Rio. I almost had a crash landing that my husband (then boyfriend) witnessed. He was so upset at the thought of losing me that he asked me to marry him on the beach in Ipanema. We had no ring, and I did not even have thoughts in my head about a ring at the time. When we got back from Rio, I found PS, did some research, and the rest is history.

 

[Missy]

As you say, people vary. My husband proposed to me without a ring, and at the time neither of us knew he was going to propose! I said this in another recent thread, but we were paragliding in Rio. I almost had a crash landing that my husband (then boyfriend) witnessed. He was so upset at the thought of losing me that he asked me to marry him on the beach in Ipanema. We had no ring, and I did not even have thoughts in my head about a ring at the time. When we got back from Rio, I found PS, did some research, and the rest is history.

awww, that is so romantic coda. Not that you almost crashed but that your bf realized he didn't want to ever be without you in his life...

Ruby, I'm one of those that was totally surprised...I explained it in another thread. I know how strange that seems to most people.
The thing is I never wanted to get married and my bf (now dh) knew the best way to propose (for us) was for it to be a total surprise.

A few years before my dh proposed I had another bf tell me that the only way a guy was going to get me to the altar was to drag me there LOL. That might sound strange but these 2 men knew me very well. And while my dh did not drag me there he did basically leave me little choice. And in hindsight I am so glad he did. He knew me better than I knew me and I am very grateful for that. I love my dh so much and I cannot believe I did not ever want to get married. I cannot imagine my life without him.


ETA: Kenny to answer your question -neither choice applies. He proposed first (longish proposal) and then opened the box before I even answered and I was so stunned and I think a full minute went by before I even answered and then looked at the ring LOL.

 

[ksinger]

Proposals? With rings? You need a few other options Kenny.

Us: In the backyard measuring the house for possible add-on.

Me: Uh...this seems rather serious, I assume we're getting married?

Him: Well, YEAH (said with quite a bit of "d'uh" inflection), I wouldn't be out here measuring the house if we weren't.

Me: OK, well that's good then.

Us: Continue measuring.

Ring came later, after we agreed on a budget and I did the legwork. He was pathetically grateful to NOT have to do it. A win for EACH of us.

So...obviously, overt "romance" doesn't happen at the ksinger house. For us it would be smarmy and one or both of us would not be able to keep a straight face and would probably be laughing up a lung in short order.

 

[HollyS]

Proposals? With rings? You need a few other options Kenny.

Us: In the backyard measuring the house for possible add-on.

Me: Uh...this seems rather serious, I assume we're getting married?

Him: Well, YEAH (said with quite a bit of "d'uh" inflection), I wouldn't be out here measuring the house if we weren't.

Me: OK, well that's good then.

Us: Continue measuring.

Ring came later, after we agreed on a budget and I did the legwork. He was pathetically grateful to NOT have to do it. A win for EACH of us.

So...obviously, overt "romance" doesn't happen at the ksinger house. For us it would be smarmy and one or both of us would not be able to keep a straight face and would probably be laughing up a lung in short order.

I recognize the hubs and I in that scenario. It was a gradual understanding that "Of course we're getting married."

 

[Polished]

Well, we were picnicing in the grounds of the Chateau Chenonceau in France, on a beautiful sunny day and somewhere between sipping on the Pinot Meunier and nibbling on the petit foie gras, he gets down on one knee, opens ring box, diamond dazzles in the sun and he asks me if I'd do him the great honour of becoming his wife. To which I responded with: "Get with the program! I'm a clarity girl, which part of flawless diamond for flawless woman don't you understand?"

CUT!

Actually it was really conventional. We'd already discussed getting married, chosen a ring together. But somehow I hadn't thought through the ring actually being ready; so when he took me out to dinner and proposed with this incredibly dainty little thing, I was ridiculously surprised, thrilled and excited.

 

[madelise]

the guy can sue her for taking away his virginity too..

He can't prove it.

neither can she.

You never heard of a Hi Men?

Hahaha, haven't you heard of a hi men reconstructive surgery?


Okay, a few of you say that you had the convo with your partner THEN chose the ring together. That is how SO and I are doing it. But is this how it "usually" goes? I mean, this is PS after all. We are all.. bling obsessed to a fault. Ask the average PS female if she'd prefer choosing her own ring or having her man blindly choose one, and we'd almost all choose the first option.

Every gal I've gotten close to and talked about engagement/whatever has only shown the dear SO some rings they think are pretty, and really, they themselves don't even know the difference. I love listening to them talk about their dream rings.. "diamond cut" diamonds, "at least 3 carats", "lots of diamonds".. etc.

But then again, like I said before, I'm answering the initial question: How does it usually go? Not how we, SO and I, are doing it.

 

[Dancing Fire]

the guy can sue her for taking away his virginity too..

He can't prove it.

neither can she.

You never heard of a Hi Men?

isn't that the same as a clarity enhanced diamond?.. will they still issue a lab report?

 

[madelise]

the guy can sue her for taking away his virginity too..

He can't prove it.

neither can she.

You never heard of a Hi Men?

isn't that the same as a clarity enhanced diamond?.. will they still issue a lab report?

HAHA, after a hymen reconstructive surgery.. THAT is like clarity enhanced

 

[Echidna]

Proposals? With rings? You need a few other options Kenny.

Us: In the backyard measuring the house for possible add-on.

Me: Uh...this seems rather serious, I assume we're getting married?

Him: Well, YEAH (said with quite a bit of "d'uh" inflection), I wouldn't be out here measuring the house if we weren't.

Me: OK, well that's good then.

Us: Continue measuring.

Ring came later, after we agreed on a budget and I did the legwork.

Sounds familiar, ksinger!

Us: Looking for a house/apartment to buy.

Me: Uh...this seems rather serious, I assume we're getting married?

Him: Yep, I think so.

Us: Continue looking

Ring came later after the proposal, but we probably took 12 months pre-proposal to agree on the one we wanted. We don't move fast in this household because we have opposing taste!

 

[Kaleigh]

I knew it was coming , because my Dad spilled the beans. It was Christmas time, and we were at my parent's house. I am a snooper through and through.

He called me to come down stairs. I said I can't, I am snooping..

He called out again, come on.... Let's play with the cat...

Then I knew something was up.

A) He is allerigc to cats, and the cat hates all males

B) Ya think I am that dumb??

I came down stairs, and said well this mjust be very important for you to want to play with the cat..

Then down on one knee...

He told me how much he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together...

I saw a glimpse of the ering, but wasn't even thinking of it...

Then just hugging and kissing.. I was like what was that about the cat??? You hate cats...

So silly, September lord willing we will be celebrating 26 years of marriage.

 

[Matata]

Am I the only one in the world who got proposed to with the enticement of new hiking boots?!? I said no when he asked and told him I'd think about it. We'd been together 10 yrs. When I decided to accept, he was very grateful that I did the planning for the ring but he still bought me those hiking boots.

 

[JewelFreak]

Love the hiking boots, Matata! A guy who thinks outside the box, to be sure.

Ksinger's proposal is right up DH's alley. He's Dutch; we met when he was in the States doing a post-MBA internship at Xerox for a year to get some int'l experience on his resume. We'd been together a year, lived together 6 months. So I'm getting dinner; he's leaning against the fridge yammering w/me. He starts flipping through his calendar. "Let's see....my visa is up in September. How 'bout we get married in August?" "Okay, guess so," sez I as I rinse the lettuce. Ring? I got it a few months ago, 30 yrs later. It wasn't the important part anyway.

--- Laurie

 

[Tuckins1]

Kenny, You ask - are there women out these that want the man that would say no becuase the ring is too small? Do you really think that there are more women out there who would say yes having seen the ring even if she didn't want the man necessitating that the man ask before presenting the ring? That's a pretty low and materialistic opinion of women - better make sure she says yes before she sees the bling, in case the greedy woman would say yes just to get the diamond?

Its not the norm, but, sadly, I do know a few girls personally who behaved this way!

If I were the guy, I would have ran in the other direction!!!

 

[Lady_Disdain]

I am glad I am not the only unromantic person around here. If my BF got down on one knee, I would ask him if he had hurt himself somewhere.

I would consider us engaged if we sat down, had a good conversation and decided we wanted to get married in the near future. After that, I would be very puzzled to be proposed to - hadn't we decided that already? If he decided to "propose" after that in a big, public way, then I would run for the hills and not come back.

But, in the end, whatever works for the couple is fine.