Wedding How did you know that your dress was the one?

[goldenstar]

The dress hunt is causing me a bit of anxiety. I feel like no matter what dress I choose, I''ll always be second guessing myself. Is it common to feel this way or did you just KNOW when you found your dress?

 

[Elmorton]

A lot of people say "you''ll just know...like you did when you met your fiance" which I think is really unfair. I love my dress, but I was often unsure if I made the right decision plenty of times.

I tried on a lot of different styles. The modern styles looked best on me, but I wasn''t having a modern styled wedding, so I didn''t fall head over heels for any of those.

When I tried on my dress, it was actually the worst looking out of all of the dresss I tried on. It was a size 12, I''m an 18. It wasn''t zipped, and it was too tight. It had a pink ribbon on it and I''m kindof a bridal purist, I didn''t want any color. It didn''t have a poofy skirt, and I''d wanted a poofy skirt.

But when I had it on, my mom sortof looked at me wistfully and said "It reminds me of my dress..." and I looked in the mirror and yeah, it reminded me a lot of her dress too. I teared up, and mom teared up...

...and then I tried on other dresses. We drove to Chicago the next weekend and I went through literally a warehouse of dresses and didn''t find anything I liked. A few days later, Mom and I went to the first shop again, I tried on the dress again, we talked to the seamstress about making changes so the dress would have the criterea I wanted (a sweetheart neckline, corset back, fuller skirt), and we ordered it.

Even throughout the fittings, the night before, I''d be stressing out thinking that maybe I''d made the wrong decision, and then I''d put on my dress, and love it all over again.

For me, there was a gut feeling, but it wasn''t ultra strong at first. If you keep thinking about one in particular, go try it on again and then feel it out again. Give it another day or two. Don''t feel rushed or pressured (unless you ARE getting really close to your date). If you''re 95% sure about one and there''s no other major contender, the odds are probably in your favor that it''s the one.

 

[Amandine]

My story may sound a little odd...while I love my dress a lot (see thread), it isn''t my dream dress. What? You may be asking...well, I worked at a bridal shop several years ago, and fell in love with a picture of a dress by Jenell Berte. Needless to say, it was way out of my price range ($5000+), partially due to the embroidery being in silver and gold bullion. Who knew they actually used that on wedding gowns?

Well, I never saw it in person, but I kept the picture and it always was in the back of my mind. But, once I started searching for a gown, I knew that this one wasn''t even made anymore (the picture was from 2001, so its quite old in bridal gown years). I did think that if I couldn''t get over it that I could have made it myself (my degree is in costume design, so I am capable of that), but did I really want to go to that trouble? No.

So, how did I decide on the dress I did? Well, I tried on way more dresses then I would recommend to most people. But I don''t linger, if I didn''t like it, off it came and I forgot it. When I tried this dress on, my Mom was with me. When we had seen it in the shop on a mannequin, we thought that I had to try that one on. And I did love it when I tried it on, and for once, actually lingered in it. As I continued to shop, this dress stuck in my mind, and became the one I compared all others to. I think that is when I knew, there was no "Ah ha!" moment, but when I found myself comparing everything else I tried on to this one dress, I was pretty certain it was the one. There was some stiff competition from a Maggie Sottero, and then an Anne Barge custom dress at the Breast Cancer Bridal Gown sale...but nothing compared to the one I bought.

Except the one that no longer exists, except in the picture in my drawer.

 

[JustAGirl]

Great topic.

I think my problem is that my expectations are too high. I feel like I'm supposed to hear angels sing and trumpets blast when I find the right dress. I really want to hear that its not always like this. Thanks for your stories ladies.

I've tried on some drop dead goregeous dresses, several of which I could picture myself getting married in. I'm just really scared to commit to one. I'm going batty.

 

[ladyciel]

I had a similar experience to Amandine, though without the dream photo to lust hopelessly after. What I found was that as I tried on dresses, there was eventually one that all others had to be compared to. It was obviously the front-runner, but there were definitely some things I wasn''t completely sure of. I knew I wanted to keep looking, and so I did. THEN, I came across another dress (the one I bought) that could actually compete with the first dress. It had all the things I loved about the first dress, and replaced the things I was unsure about with more things I loved. I wouldn''t say I "just knew" - I definitely had to go back and forth to the two shops and try the dresses on a couple times to make my decision. I''ve definitely had moments where I''ve doubted my decision, but when I look back at photos of me in other dresses I tried, it becomes obvious again that I picked the right one for me.

 

[oobiecoo]

I knew mine was the one when I finally found one I felt great in and it cost less than I expected to pay! I second guessed myself alot though... but in the end I realized that NOWHERE would I find another dress with real silk and for soooo cheap.

 

[miraclesrule]

My daughter is blessed with one of those model like bodies that look good in everything and she is very undecisive, (Libra)

so I thought the dress shopping would be a nightmare, but fortunately, she tried on the one she really like the most, first. We knew she got it right because we both started crying. We ultimately had to pass because she initially wanted a destination wedding to Maui and there was no friggin way she could wear that first choice on the beach. She had a hard time choosing the second one, but we were in a bad mood because the Chargers blew their playoff game and wanted to console ourselves, and she impulsively picked a nice new 2 pound dress. But because she is indecisive, we no longer have a destination wedding and were fortunate to be able to go back and get the original one without penalty of any kind.

I wish I could say the MOB dress shopping is as easy.

Now, she''s doing the same circle with the floral choice. But I have learned that this what you Brides do.

Sometimes, the internet can be a bad thing.

 

[E B]

It was me, if I was a dress. Does that make sense?

 

[monarch64]

Date: 4/18/2008 10:24:00 PM
Author: EBree
It was me, if I was a dress. Does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense to me! I felt very similar when I tried mine on for the first time...I was wearing IT, it wasn''t wearing ME. It just complemented everything about my features and body type, in fact, my MOH was with me and all she could say was "it''s YOU!"

 

[LauraSLP07]

EBree hit the nail right on the head so to speak!

That is exactly what happened with my whole dress shopping experience!

In 4 different shops, I tried on about 35 dresses. It seemed like every dress I tried on got better and better, but when I put on MY dress, it seemed to just suit ME and my personality! Simple, sweet, and with a few spicy accents! I turned to my mom and she started crying, so we both knew it was "the one."

 

[goldenstar]

I feel so much better. I haven''t felt the urge to cry but I don''t think I''m the type that would. It helps to know that having a little doubt is "normal". I''m really close to a dress decision but I''m afraid to make one because I haven''t cried. Its not a good reason, I know.

There has been a dress that has haunted me for almost a year. I have a feeling about it that won''t go away. I''ve tried it on twice already. My doubts are coming from the fact that the sample isn''t doing much for my body because its a size too small. I want to think that the dress in my size would look amazing on me, but what if it doesn''t? So scary.

 

[monarch64]

My dear goldenstar....if a dress has been haunting you for a year and the only thing holding you back is that the sample was too snug, you need only to go ahead and buy it. It has been speaking to you for a year now and just wants you to order it in the correct size!!! You don''t need to cry over a dress; I didn''t cry over mine, I just knew that it was the one. Good luck!

 

[musey]

Date: 4/18/2008 8:30:25 PM
Author:goldenstar
The dress hunt is causing me a bit of anxiety. I feel like no matter what dress I choose, I'll always be second guessing myself. Is it common to feel this way or did you just KNOW when you found your dress?

I felt like I had a "moment" and "knew," but that hasn't stopped me second-guessing my decision

Sure, I wish I'd tried on more of a variety of styles, because what if I'd discovered that I really preferred a modern/sleek look to my antiquey gown? Who knows!

But what's done is done. The dress is bought and paid for, and due in at the salon any day now. It's gorgeous and I love it, which is really what matters--not whether it's THE dress to end ALL dresses.

(which it is most assuredly not... it's just a dress!) Though I have to admit all this "it was so ME" talk is making my doubts grow stronger.

boo.

Ditto to what monarch said about your haunting dress. Don't expect the doubt to go away, though, even if it comes and is perfect. It's normal and okay to doubt it, imo.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Well, let''s see. I did feel like it was "the" dress because I liked it THE most of all the ones I had tried on. So could I find a second "the dress?" Probably! But I bought one and I love it.

Hope that kind of answers your question, find one you love.

 

[mimzy]

i had been lusting after the dress in pictures and really just tried it on for kicks because i didn''t think there was a chance on earth that it would look good on me, but i was pretty amazed that it was the most flattering gown i tried on. that combined with the fact that i just didn''t want to take it off and took every opportunity i could to try it back on after it came off were pretty good indicators, even though i wasn''t "set" on it. It took me a little while but after my dad (out of exasperation) was finally just like "are you going to find another dress you like better or not?!" and i immediately said no, i knew it was time to buy it.

i''ve had my doubts since then, and when they come up i rely on the reactions from my friends and moms when they saw it and that gets me through

 

[star sparkle]

Right now I feel overwhelmed and I haven''t even started looking for a dress yet!

 

[violet02]

I tried on at least 20 dresses and every one of them was like hrm... eh... the I tried on the one I bought and it felt GREAT on, it looked PERFECT on me and that was it. You just know it! Plus my friends with me helped confirm it. I was going back and forth on another dress I almost bought but I decided to keep looking and two shops later there was the ONE! I bought that one right away.

Now after the fact I do second guess myself when I see all these pretty pictures online and in magazines but honestly when I go try on dresses most of them just don't work on me. They are always way better in print then on me and I just have to remind myself of that. Also my dress was within my budget, yay! I was dreading falling in love with something out of my price range as well.

I did have a dream dress photo and I couldn't find the dress anywhere to try it on. I know now the shape wouldn't have worked on me anyways. I think I have it a bit easier (or tougher) I have a lot of colorful tattoos so I had to get a dress that didn't compete with ME or try to half cover up anything. So anything beaded or embelished or strappy or jacketed or sleeved didn't work, that narrowed it down a lot.

 

[Sabine]

There were a couple of dresses that I liked, but what it came down to for me was the pictures. I''m an indecisive person, and it really helped being able to leave the store and still have pictures to remind me. I definitely LOVE my dress, but I''m fairly certain I could find other dresses out there that I love just as much. But I feel good in it, think it looks good on my figure, it fit in my budget, and I don''t think I could find anything else that meet all those criteria as well without totally inconveniencing myself.

 

[Rhea]

I didn''t find the dress. I still have no clue if it was the one or not and I''ve been married over 2 years. I wanted a Monique L''huillier silk sheath but I didn''t have the $2,500 to spend on it (1/3 of my entire wedding budget!) so I never tried it on. Because I didn''t try it on I always second guessed and wondered how it would look on me.

When I see my wedding photos I''m pleased with them and how I looked. I''m glad I stuck to my budget and was actually able to feed my guests. I personally think that having a dress look good on you, feeling comfortable in it, and feeling generally happy about your decision are all you can ask for. I bought a dress that I couldn''t stop thinking about and everyone said it was me.

And if I''m ever rich I plan to re-new my vows in a red silk Monique L''huillier "Escape" or "Claire"

In this dream world a dress that I''ve never tried on or even seen in real life looks as good on me as it does on the tall, skinny model and everyone lives happily ever after.

 

[dogmama]

golden star I feel nervous too! I am going to go to a sample sale on Tuesday and it''s a big one. My wedding isn''t till next August, but I feel like this is such a good sale to begin with that if I find I dress I like, I don''t know if I should buy it. It''s a one day thing. So I''m anxious and I was wondering how everyone knew it was "the one" too! You read my mind and posted!

There''s gazillions of bridal samples sales in NYC, and in that way I''m fortunate. BUT now I''m wondering if I should feel less determined to find a dress at this sample sale because I know there will be others. Not to thread jack, but anyone have an opinion?

 

[espressa]

I didn''t want to take it off. That''s pretty much how I knew.

I had been dreading dress shopping (and posted about that here and got some great advice

). I went to the first bridal salon and it was the very first dress I tried on. I was actually looking for an entirely different style but they didn''t have the Maggie''s there that I was hoping to try on so I looked through their books and found one that I thought looked pretty, but I wasn''t really expecting to love it. But I did, and after that every dress I tried on had to be compared to it.

I went to another bridal salon a few weeks later, and they had the same dress but in the color I was actually planning to buy. When I tried it on there, I just knew. And the fact that I had shown pictures of it to a few other girls (wives/fiances of FI''s friends) and they weren''t totally enthusiastic about it ("Yeah, it''s nice, but I''m not sure I like the bottom..." etc.) and I still did not care one bit if someone else didn''t like it. I''m usually very much seeking acceptance and opinions from other people, and their judgments tend to matter to me more than they should. But when the dress was on I could care less if someone had told me they hated it, because it was me, it was perfect, and I waited as long as possible to take it off before leaving the place, lol.

I''m just sad that the dress won''t be in until a month before my wedding, so I won''t be able to wear it around the house for months before!

 

[Aloros]

It was cheap, and it was in my size. I bought it off of ebay, and couldn''t find it in any local shops, so it was a bit of a gamble.

It paid off though. I LOVE IT!

I tried on a plethora of dresses (and took photos) at a local bridal salon. I compared them to the dress I bought off ebay, and found that none compared.

Looking at the photos of yourself in them is helpful.

 

[julabean]

My dress was the fourth one I had tried on, my first day out shopping. It was nothing like I thought I wanted - strapless A-line, corset back, huge ballroom skirt, looooong train. Also: over my budget by almost 1/3.

So, of course, I tried it on and it was "the one." I think it helped that the dress hardly needed any other alterations and other dresses I had tried on were either really big or way too small. I had a hard time visualizing wearing a dress in my wedding day when it didn''t fit right.

I was a little burned about the price, but utlimately I knew it would be worth it. So I bought it, brought it home, and only had a few "but that dress is so pretty moments!". Most of them because of everyone else''s dresses on PS.

 

[Haven]

It makes me feel as beautiful as my fiance does when he smiles at me from across a room.

 

[noelwr]

Haven - that is so sweet. where''s the teary-eyed smiley for me to insert???

you guys are so lucky that you actually get to take photos of the dresses to take home and consider later. I wasn''t allowed to. luckily I made up mind quickly otherwise I''d be trying to remember what all the dresses I ever tried on looked like...

 

[basil]

I''m sure I could have been happy with any number of dresses. There really isn''t any "one" dress. And it''s not the last dress I''ll wear in my life!

But I had envisioned a lace dress as going really well with our venue. I had a certain budget in mind which put most Monique L''huillier creations out of reach. I had seen my dress in pictures and online, and I went to try it on. I really liked it. Then I waited for like 6 months before ordering it. I never found anything that I liked better, so I figured this one was it!

ETA: I sound kind of pragmatic there. Oh well.

 

[anchor31]

I tried on a ton of dresses and kept changing my mind. At first we were planning a rather formal fall wedding and I had chosen something, I was just waiting to be closer to the date to actually order. Then, we decided to tone the wedding down to a semi-formal morning summer wedding and I had to start all over again. I was head over heels for a dress I saw online, but I couldn''t find it anywhere to try it on... I was going to order it anyway, until one day I decided to go to a bridal shop on a whim. I told the lady exactly what I needed and she pulled out my dress. I''d seen pictures of it and hadn''t been impressed, but when I saw myself in it, it felt perfect. It was my dress. It was me, like Ebree said.

While waiting for it, I did second guess myself a couple of time. But it all went away when mine came in in the right size and colour... I love it more than ever. You''ll be fine! Just don''t keep looking after you''ve ordered!

 

[violet02]

Date: 4/19/2008 6:05:05 PM
Author: noelwr
Haven - that is so sweet. where''s the teary-eyed smiley for me to insert???

you guys are so lucky that you actually get to take photos of the dresses to take home and consider later. I wasn''t allowed to. luckily I made up mind quickly otherwise I''d be trying to remember what all the dresses I ever tried on looked like...

I was luckily able to take photos of all the dresses I tried on. Except there was one store that didn''T want to let me do that which bothered me. I still don''t get that policy really. Having photos of myself in the dresses does help remind me of what looks good and what doesn''t!