Home How did you find your Nanny or Child Care?

[Mara]

The other thread about the nanny has got me thinking...well I was already thinking because our kid will pop out in a few weeks... but how did everyone go about finding their child care or their nanny?

I have friends who looked on Craigs List with mixed results. CL is really big where we are in the Silicon Valley, actually after a bunch of other more 'targeted' methods didn't work we found a great consultant to 'replace me' on mat leave on CL.

Someone else also recommended Care.Com to me and I had never heard of it before. It looks promising...they also do background checks and I think have posted references etc. This is big because I thought mentally when you find someone on CL or your own method, how do you run all the necessary info on your own?

But where else do people find quality child care and help for your area??? And for those who are willing to share, how much do you typically pay? Here it's about $15-25 per hour for a 'nanny' for an infant, which can be soo expensive when you are talking 40 hours a week. Daycares are around $1k-2k a month depending on the age of the child, the reputation of the daycare, and what their responsibilities are etc. While daycares can be cheaper, I like the idea of 1/1 care with a nanny at least until age 1.

I hate the thought of someone else 'raising' my child for me while I go back to work, it's such a mental battle. And then to think you have to find someone amazing on top of it...a little overwhelming.

 

[neatfreak]

We did Care.com too. Our sitter actually comes up from the outskirts of SJ and charges $10 an hour. But I think $15/hr is more normal around here. That is what most of my friends pay for a full time nanny. Mine has excellent qualifications but she''s a college student and only comes 1-2x per week so I can get some schoolwork done.

 

[jcrow]

the only recommendation we''ve received thus far was to try care.com. and they really found someone they love to care for their kids.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Mara- I know that I have a ways to go until I'm at this stage, but I've already started thinking about it because it's such a huge deal. I will most likely be going the Nanny route myself.

I've been asking close girlfriends how they located their nanny, and one hooked me up with a "Mom's online guide" run by a local mom. It's kinda like a CL/Lila Guide/Angie's List for my area of L.A. She sends a daily email, and once a week sends a specialized edition with nanny/housekeeper/babysitter listings. I've only gotten two editions, and they've been VERY interesting reading. The rates are in line with what you noted below.

I'd start talking to Moms- I'm sure that there's a strong Mommy network in your area and a similar website/email service probably exists!

 

[curlygirl]

Around here, most people find their nannies through word of mouth. It's almost like there's a nanny network--if a friend of yours has a nanny, ask that nanny if she has any friends who are also nannies. Of course they all still check references, etc. but it's nice to have a connection. Most of my friends have had lots of luck that way.

In terms of daycare out of the house, first you need to decide whether you want a home daycare or an actual center. It helps to go around and visit different places and often you will just get a good vibe and that will help you make your decision. You'll want to check out cleanliness, ratio of caregivers to children (in an infant room it should be no more than 1:4), sick policies, professionalism of directors, experience levels of teachers, etc. I'm a huge fan of daycare--my children have been in big centers since they were each 12 weeks old and I couldn't be happier.

As far as cost, it really varies regionally. I know you're in a very expensive part of the country but I don't think it's as expensive as where I am in NYC. I pay A LOT! But it's worth it to me. Nanny salaries can often be negotiated and most of my friends pay their nannies off the books so they don't have to deal with payroll taxes, benefits, etc. but they also do not get a deduction on their taxes.

For what it's worth, nobody else is raising your child. They are taking care of your child for you while you are working to give your child the best life you possibly can. Ultimately, you are shaping his life and instilling your values in him. It's a big decision but once you are comfortable with a person or a location, it will be a huge load off your shoulders and you will see that you are doing the right thing. Good luck!!

 

[nycbkgirl]

Date: 12/8/2009 7:41:45 PM
Author: neatfreak
We did Care.com too. Our sitter actually comes up from the outskirts of SJ and charges $10 an hour. But I think $15/hr is more normal around here. That is what most of my friends pay for a full time nanny. Mine has excellent qualifications but she''s a college student and only comes 1-2x per week so I can get some schoolwork done.

Neat - does she take care of both babies for $10 ?

i got lucky and asked my good friend''s wife is she wanted to nanny since her kids are in school and she was a stay at home for 10 yrs! and they needed the money ..so she reluctantly agreed (was scared with twins and wasnt sure she liked doin that for $10) ,,,but its been 3 mos now and working out pretty well

 

[megumic]

I used to nanny in NYC and always found my amazing gigs through word of mouth or through Craigslist. My most favorite family I nannied for in NYC was through CL and turned out to be a very wealthy and well-known family. NYC nannies go for about $20-25/hour - even for live-in depending on the situation. But I''ll agree that you must do your homework. Full background check and references for sure.

 

[Blenheim]

I found George''s center through word of mouth. Everybody I asked recommended it or said that they had friends who loved it and it looked great when I went to tour it, so I figured that was the way to go. It was $1500/mo for full-time infants, but cost varies so much by region and even by town.

 

[packrat]

Word of mouth here. There are several in home daycares and I think 2 centers. Sometimes there will be an ad in the paper offering or looking for someone to watch their kids. And everyone has their own unique experiences at each of them and sometimes ends up trying out a couple places/ideas before finding the one that suits them and the kids best. Most places here charge a minimum for the week, regardless if they watch the child at all. It''s not overly expensive here, but this is a minimum wage earning area, so even $4 hour adds up right quick when you''re only making 7 something.

 

[Burk]

I also found our center by word of mouth. I visited A LOT of centers and interviewed A LOT of in-home providers before finding it, though! We''re very lucky where she is now since it''s in a church it''s non-profit and they have many volunteers from the church so the ratio is usually at least 1:3 but usually 1:2!! T only goes part time (25 hours a week) and we pay $103/wk. Reading what everyone else pays is making me feel great about our situation!

 

[LAJennifer]

I have a few friends who are nannies in Los Angeles. They are represented by an agency called Choices. They work Monday through Friday and make about $800 a week.

 

[butterfly 17]

I found my babysitter through Craiglist. Everyone thinks I am crazy when I tell them, but I did.
I actually put the ad myself, put the hours, days and the price I would pay per hour/day. Since it can get expensive, I put how much I was willing to pay ($10/hour) and made a note that this was what I could afford so please do not respond if they expected more.
My husband is home during the day anyway, so the babysitter is never alone with the kids and she brings her 5 year old with her, so my kids and her kid have fun. She comes to my house at 6 am and leaves by 3 pm.

I got a couple of reponses before I chose my babysitter, but she was the most mature (she is older than me) and responsible and I liked that she would bring her daughter so my kids would have someone to play with.
So far I have not had any issues with her. She comes on time, takes great care of the kids, feeds them twice a day, washes them up, helps with brushing teeth, etc. She''s also very clean and I never come home to a dirty house.
Another plus is she lives right near by and on the occasions when I need someone fast, she is always handy.

 

[Mara]

thanks for all the tips and suggestions!! i have a neighbor that has twins and she does have a lot of mommy friends and some with partial child care so i plan to definitely ask her what her ''network'' is like.

it''s good to know that some moms have used Care too.

burk...omg $100 per week! that is amazing!
charger...i don''t think it''s ever too early to just think about what your options might be yanno?? gives you time to think about what you feel most comfortable with.

i am hoping to do 2 days at home so might just need the care for 3-4 days which would be cheaper than 5. one of my friends'' moms does child care in general but she typically wants to stay closer to her home which is about 30 min from us. i am hoping maybe next year she will be willing to travel a bit and i can convince her to come to our house. we''ll see.

curly...i know they aren''t *really* raising my child, it just kind of feels like that when i think about the time they will be spending with him vs me you know. my coworkers are always so sad when their nannies call them or tell them what their baby did that day.

for those who have their babes in centers...when did you put them in? a lot of my local mom friends waited til 1 year to take their baby to a daycare.

 

[Kaleigh]

Mostly by word of mouth. I was a Corporate recruiter before so knew all about doing the checks and balances on the person.

Mara,
I know you will do a great search and find someone who is awessome. BUT I know it''s daunting... But you are such THE researcher, so you will find someone who is great.

Where ever you find your Nanny, the interview is key... Ask away. See how they feel about certain situations... Put them on the spot, say god forbid this would happen, but I need to know what you would do?? Seeing if they think on their feet is KEY...

I''d want her to have the same mind set as you and Greg. Greg should interview her as well, maybe after you have given her a once over. Perhaps that can happen in a second interview.

Get References and again, ask away... I someone is like well she was great, blah blah blah... Ask if she was so great why did you let her go?

Your Mom lives near by, have her drop by, saying she was in the neighborhood wanted to see the baby and bring Portia a treat....

Don''t let the Nanny know your Mom lives near by...

You have a neighbor that has twins, have her keep an eye out.

I had 2 nannies over the years, Renee is very much a part of our family to this day..... Monica, ran off with my husbands friend...... And my kids were in her wedding...

Just a tad odd, but oh well.

If they ever ask for an advance say NO!! That''s a huge red flag....

Keep a list of what you want her to do, what is most important to you.

Go over that with her, see how she is with it..
If she hems and haws over certain things, well, she maybe won''t be the right fit for you...

You are a planner, to the nth degree... That is a talent in and of itself missy!!!

Something I have always admired about you. Methinks, you''ll be just fine finding a nanny/caregiver....

 

[MichelleCarmen]

My boys were in PT daycare and I found the center through the old-fashion method of the phone book. I called around and drove by the different establishments and then interviewed the owners of the places that caught my eye.

What I loved about the center I chose was that it was family owned, but had different age groups seperated into sections of a house, so it was almost a combination home childcare and a preschool center. The rooms had groupings: babies, 1-2 YOs, 2-3 YOs, and then 4+ all with two teachers per group.

The place just attracted me. It was in a neighborhood and surrounded by trees. The center was on a 1/2 acre and VERY peaceful (it horrified me to see that some preschools were right along busy highways).

My kids loved it and they were there for about 4-5 years for PT hours.

Oh - I want to point out that NEITHER of my boys attended until they were two. I never had either of them as infants in any child care/nanny situation. For the two of them from ages 2-5, we paid $10/hour.

 

[cdt1101]

Date: 12/8/2009 10:28:50 PM
Author: Mara
thanks for all the tips and suggestions!! i have a neighbor that has twins and she does have a lot of mommy friends and some with partial child care so i plan to definitely ask her what her 'network' is like.

it's good to know that some moms have used Care too.

burk...omg $100 per week! that is amazing!
charger...i don't think it's ever too early to just think about what your options might be yanno?? gives you time to think about what you feel most comfortable with.

i am hoping to do 2 days at home so might just need the care for 3-4 days which would be cheaper than 5. one of my friends' moms does child care in general but she typically wants to stay closer to her home which is about 30 min from us. i am hoping maybe next year she will be willing to travel a bit and i can convince her to come to our house. we'll see.

curly...i know they aren't *really* raising my child, it just kind of feels like that when i think about the time they will be spending with him vs me you know. my coworkers are always so sad when their nannies call them or tell them what their baby did that day.

for those who have their babes in centers...when did you put them in? a lot of my local mom friends waited til 1 year to take their baby to a daycare.

I had to return to work at 6 months, so at 5 1/2 months I started bringing my son a few hours a day to begin the transition. I REALLY wanted to stay home (like really really), but it's not an option right now. I looked at a TON of places, the place I chose was the only one I instantly felt comfortable w/ when I walked in. My son has been there fulltime since last Monday and he's doing great (although he has a little cold

). But the teachers just love him, and he smiles when he sees them and has never cried when I left. They call him their little pork chop

A few teachers are from Italy and speak to him in Italian occasionally because he thinks it's funny. I know I'm rambling, but it's been surprisingly easy for me to return to work since I'm comfortable w/ the daycare and teachers. Of course I wish he were w/ me, but I know he'll thrive there and there are *some* benefits to daycare.

And I'll second Curly, that they are not "raising" my son. I used to think that (when I was struggling w/ returning to work), but I've adjusted my attitude....again simply because it makes it easier to go back to work when you don't have the guilt of "oh someone else is raising them...blah blah blah..."

It's a tough decision for sure and me thinks you may just decide to stay home

But know that LOTS and LOTs of people use nannies and daycare and their kids thrive and turn out just fine

 

[Shoopy]

Well, MIL takes care of her for $100 a week that she is apparently depositing into an account for DD because she refused to take our money.

But when we were searching, I found a lot of great options through the moms I know at work and also our Church.

 

[MustangGal]

I found mine through care.com. You have to pay like $25 to "join", but that will include a background check so it was worth it. I also interviewed one from CL, and my state licensing board provides lists too, but all the ones I called from there were full. I pay $125 a week for Kyle to go to a home. She has 3 kids she takes in, plus 2 of her own, but they're rarely all there at the same time.

My mom did in-home care when I was a teen, so that was the set-up I was most comfortable with. I plan to put Kyle into a preschool/daycare center when he's potty trained to get more learning and social interaction.

One big positive I've found with taking Kyle somewhere ouside my home is that I don't have to have nearly as many toys! If he has them at daycare, then I don't have to buy them for my home

.

 

[butterfly 17]

Mara,
I also wanted to point out that there is a difference between a nanny and a babysitter, so you should decide what you want and need.
I think in general, nannies charge more because they are expected to do a little more, such as pick ups, drop offs, light housekeeping and chores, the kids laundry, etc. My cousin is a live in nanny for three kids and she does a lot. She cooks, cleans, gets the kids ready for school, drops them off, picks them up, takes them to sport practices, dance class, does laundry, the whole works, but she gets paid about $1200 a week and gets room and board. She does all that and the mother is at home and does not work.

Babysitters only take care of the kids themselves. So they don''t charge normally what a nanny would. My babysitter is not expected to do dishes, clean or do laundry, but I am lucky bc she cleans up after the kids anyway. So they don''t charge normally what a nanny would.

My other friend uses a live out nanny and she pays her $15/hour for one child, but again, she does all the housework, laundry and cooking as well.

 

[NovemberBride]

Curly and CDT, Thanks for your perspective on daycare, that''s how I am going to try to view it when I return to work. I would really like to stay home as well, but that''s just not feasible right now for us and in the end I think I''ll be happy going back to work as I do love my career.

Mara, you said that you are hoping to stay home 2 days a week. If you are planning to work from home those days, I think that you would need care on those days as well. All of my friends who work from home one day a week have their nannies come that day. They say that it would be impossible to work while caring for their babies. After being home with Olivia the past month, I can tall you that if I was trying to work right now, someone would be getting cheated - either Olivia wouldn''t be getting the attnetion she deserves or my company would be paying me for work I am not doing. I think it is impossible to perform a full-time job and care for an infant at the same time, since they are both full-time jobs.

 

[ChinaCat]

Mara- It's never too early. I looked into daycare and most of the places that I would want to send O to have waiting lists of like a year.

I have a nanny that I found through word of mouth. I just sent out an email to all of the moms that I knew and got a ton of responses. Do it early though, cause it takes time to find one, interview, etc. I think I started looking as soon as I went on mat leave. We lucked out, my former trainer had always raved about his nanny and they put their kids in daycare and the nanny went back to working at the daycare center. She would rather be a nanny, so it worked out perfectly. I knew she was great with his kids and she also worked at one of the best daycare centers. She has 3 kids and has done this for over 10 years, is CPR certified, etc. We pay ours about $10 an hour, which I think is pretty cheap for where we live. I was expecting to pay $15.

One thing to consider is childcare philosophies. For example, if you and your DH believe in letting your kid fuss/cry during naps, it's best to hire someone that agrees or has no problem letting the kid do that. (Of course, not an infant, but later). We had a few baby-sitters before we hired the nanny and while a few I really liked and were well-qualified, we just had such different ways of doing things that it would be hard to always be convincing your nanny to do things your way. Of course a good nanny will do what you ask, but if you know that they agree or on the same page, it's way easier. For me, I am big on scheduling and we needed a nanny that believed in a schedule. Of course, it's hard to know what you'll think b/c it all changes, but try to find someone with your same instincts/thoughts.

It is weird leaving your new baby with someone else for so long during the day. And it will be hard. BUT they aren't raising your kids and they aren't you and babies know the difference. I have to keep reminding myself of that! The one thing that I keep telling myself is that since it's her job, when she's with him the ONLY thing she does is care for him- read him books, play with him, sing to him, do tummy time, etc. If I'm home with him, the rest of life gets in the way and he doesn't get 100% of my attention all the time. So it reassures me to know that he's getting the stimulation he needs. Also, it takes the pressure of off the time I do spend with him. Since I know she's doing all of the things with him that you are supposed to do at that age (tummy time, hand-eye coordination stuff, reading books), then I can relax and just play with him and be with him and not feel like I'm supposed to be "teaching" him anything. Plus she clips his nails and does the stuff I hate!

Good luck, I am positive you'll find the right thing for you.

ETA: Agree with NovemberBride, NO WAY I could work from home with O if someone else wasn't there. They require constant attention. It's way easier to come into the office.

ETA: Our nanny does light housework, which is a must for me. She keeps the kitchen clean, does O's laundry, feeds our dog, stuff like that. She actually asked for more to do b/c she doesn't like having nothing to do when O is sleeping. I keep thinking I should go mess things up for her!

One other positive thing about a nanny is usually that ends up being your baby-sitter. Not the case with mine cause she has young-ish kids at home, but most of my friends use their nannies as baby-sitters.

 

[phoenixgirl]

I used the phone book too. I didn''t have much luck with CL or word of mouth. I found one center in our neighborhood that accepts infants and called in July or August, but they said they had a one year waiting list.

Luckily it turned out that this was code for "you have to make an effort to get in, and then the director will screen you." So I made nice nice and we got a spot. My sister has used in-home daycare, but she only needs it at odd hours a few times a week; I wanted a center for full time care.

 

[Mara]

thanks for all the additional insights ladies! butterfly, yeah i don''t think i expect the nanny to clean and all that, just care for the baby. but it seems like infant nannies are really nannies not just babysitters?

NB...I have a few friends who work from home and they said after the first few months if your routine is more established it is not that hard to work from home with the baby. Also, typically when people work from home here it''s not ''straight'' like 9-5, we do a lot of calls at odd hours, so it''s more flexible so that would help, aka I usually work a few hours at night and early morning or similar. So I could be a bit more flexible around baby''s schedule too on those days. But ideally I''d have help for 2-3 hours a day while I am at home so 3 days full time help and then 2 days part time help.

Plus my company milks me dry anyway as we don''t have regular hour jobs (I am on calls with Europe at 6:30am many days) so I would not feel guilty being at home 2 days a week with a more flex schedule, hehee. I am just hoping it all works out, typically most people do 1 day but I know some new moms have been able to swing more. One gal worked from home for 4 days/wk for the first 2 months after she came back, now that was kinda sweet.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/9/2009 1:29:03 PM
Author: butterfly 17
I think in general, nannies charge more because they are expected to do a little more, such as pick ups, drop offs, light housekeeping and chores, the kids laundry, etc. My cousin is a live in nanny for three kids and she does a lot. She cooks, cleans, gets the kids ready for school, drops them off, picks them up, takes them to sport practices, dance class, does laundry, the whole works, but she gets paid about $1200 a week and gets room and board. She does all that and the mother is at home and does not work.

What DOES the mom do all day? Live of luxury.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/9/2009 4:00:50 PM
Author: Mara
thanks for all the additional insights ladies! butterfly, yeah i don''t think i expect the nanny to clean and all that, just care for the baby. but it seems like infant nannies are really nannies not just babysitters?

NB...I have a few friends who work from home and they said after the first few months if your routine is more established it is not that hard to work from home with the baby.

A friend of mine did medical billing from home while her baby was little. As her child has grown, she''s become very independent and is easily able to entertain herself. My friend had horrible guilt, though, over "ignoring" her child while working right next to her.

IMO, a nanny should take the kids to social activities and set up play dates so the kids have interaction with other kids. Starting when my kids were little, I always was involved in parenting groups. . .anything to get them around other babies and so I could meet other moms. I took them to "swim" classes - the type for 6 months old where mostly we sing songs, library groups, mommy groups, the park, etc.. If I hired a nanny, I''d expect that she take the child to similar type activites to ensure there was no isolation. That should be the nanny''s job. If there is more involved, the job title should be nanny/housekeeper.

 

[D&T]

Found mine through googling then got to this site: http://www.arizonachildcare.org/ for my state, My best caregiver was through this site, my worst was also through this site - even licensed,

my second worst was by word of mouth

then I stumble on my current one whom we also love though she isn''t licensed also by googling and found her through an intermediary site almost like craigslist (can''t remember the name of it)

 

[steph72276]

Well, my sister-in-law was actually our nanny for the first couple of years for Andrew when I worked as a teacher, so that worked out well. But I would say word of mouth is the way to go. Do you have any friends that quit work when they had babies that might want to also watch your baby to make a little extra $? Or friends of friends in that situation? I know lots of moms that want to be at home, but also want to make a little bit of an income that watch other children.

 

[butterfly 17]

Date: 12/10/2009 12:14:53 PM
Author: MC

Date: 12/9/2009 1:29:03 PM

Author: butterfly 17

I think in general, nannies charge more because they are expected to do a little more, such as pick ups, drop offs, light housekeeping and chores, the kids laundry, etc. My cousin is a live in nanny for three kids and she does a lot. She cooks, cleans, gets the kids ready for school, drops them off, picks them up, takes them to sport practices, dance class, does laundry, the whole works, but she gets paid about $1200 a week and gets room and board. She does all that and the mother is at home and does not work.

What DOES the mom do all day? Live of luxury.

I am not sure. I asked my cousin once what did she do all day and she said most of the day she was out and about, she would go to the gym, get her hair, nails done, etc.

My cousin did work for a family once and she had a horrible experience. They paid her $800 for 6 days, room and board included though and they worked her like crazy. the wife would wake her up at 5am and she would get the kids ready, drop them off and then after that she would clean the whole day. Once they left to go out and they told her she had to vacuum and dust all the baseboards and crown moldings and it was a big house and they came back in about 3 hours and she wasn''t done and the mother was ballistic.
She would go to sleep around midnight because the wife always had something for her to do. She told me she had to sneak in her meals, literally clean while she was eating because she was afraid to stop bc the wife was crazy.
She only stayed for two weeks and when she left, the wife told her that they made a mistake and was only supposed to pay her $100 a day and refused to pay her all her money.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 12/10/2009 7:10:53 PM
Author: butterfly 17

Date: 12/10/2009 12:14:53 PM
Author: MC

Date: 12/9/2009 1:29:03 PM

Author: butterfly 17

I think in general, nannies charge more because they are expected to do a little more, such as pick ups, drop offs, light housekeeping and chores, the kids laundry, etc. My cousin is a live in nanny for three kids and she does a lot. She cooks, cleans, gets the kids ready for school, drops them off, picks them up, takes them to sport practices, dance class, does laundry, the whole works, but she gets paid about $1200 a week and gets room and board. She does all that and the mother is at home and does not work.

What DOES the mom do all day? Live of luxury.

I am not sure. I asked my cousin once what did she do all day and she said most of the day she was out and about, she would go to the gym, get her hair, nails done, etc.

My cousin did work for a family once and she had a horrible experience. They paid her $800 for 6 days, room and board included though and they worked her like crazy. the wife would wake her up at 5am and she would get the kids ready, drop them off and then after that she would clean the whole day. Once they left to go out and they told her she had to vacuum and dust all the baseboards and crown moldings and it was a big house and they came back in about 3 hours and she wasn''t done and the mother was ballistic.
She would go to sleep around midnight because the wife always had something for her to do. She told me she had to sneak in her meals, literally clean while she was eating because she was afraid to stop bc the wife was crazy.
She only stayed for two weeks and when she left, the wife told her that they made a mistake and was only supposed to pay her $100 a day and refused to pay her all her money.

OMG that''s horrible!!!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

In my city, there is a child care resource and referral centre that maintains a database of childcare options that have passed an inspection and must do so each year to maintain their certification. This is in addition to the regular gov''t regulations around childcare. I contacted the referral service and got a list of liscenced at-home daycares and group (institutional) daycares in my area. And then I put our kid on the waitlists at the institutional daycares as soon as he was born.

I actually wish I had put him on sooner though. Although I got *very* lucky and got a spot in an excellent daycare (3 caregivers for 8 infants, plus a yoddler and preschool programme in the same location), it is a bit of a drive from my house. But we got lucky to get a spot at all.

It costs us around 1k per month, but it is my first choice to have Hunter in a group daycare. I said this before, but I persoanlly feel there are more checks and balances in the group situation and also that it is good for the caregivers to have others to lean on so they are not all alone. Sometimes people have a bad day, right?

Anyways, maybe your area has a refferal service like that?