How and when do you justify treating yourself?

[Circe]

So, I''m wondering ... how and when do you guys justify splurges?

I should qualify this by saying, I''m an inveterate cheap-skate. I bargain-hunt like it''s my job - probably the result of having spent my 20s in grad school, getting by in one of the most expensive cities in the world on an annual stipend of less than twenty grand. So, for example, my wedding dress? Came off the final sale rack of a discount shop - it cost all of $15 (not a typo), and it looked great, if I do say so myself.

All that said, I love quality and I spend without a qualm when it''s for something that I know I won''t find again, or for things that are really worth it - my tall black boots cost a mint, and I doubt I''ll ever regret it (well, unless my feet grow after pregnancy, because then I will cry), because I love the company that made them, they fit like a glove on my hard-to-fit long narrow feet, and they''re knee-high Victorian granny boots. Who could resist? But now that I am pregnant, I''m in a bit of a quandry - none of this stuff ever makes it to discount shops, and the good companies don''t seem to believe in sales!

So I''m going back and forth trying to figure out if I want to buy this one gorgeous maternity dress for $240 bucks. Pros: it is gorgeous, the earlier I buy it, the more wear I get out of it (and I''m planning to have more kids), and, frankly, after being so cheap for so long, I sort of ... feel like I "deserve" it. Cons: it is $240 damn dollars! My psyche starts to twitch when I consider spending that on one dress and compare it to the plethora of things I can find for that sum on the cheap ... but I frankly don''t want any of them quite as much.

SO. How do you guys make the leap from "worth it" to "ridiculous!" and what tends to be the deciding factor? I''ll probably continue to vacillate on the dress (this isn''t really an "enabling" plea), but I''m curious as to whether I''m a weirdo, or whether other people have these same little internal debates ....

 

[Circe]

P.S. - Here''s the dress!

 

[Miscka]

I am right there with you Circe!

To answer when: Waaaaayyy too often. Just ask my DH

The why usually takes a lot of debate. I am also a bargain hunter, so my splurges are usually something that I found that I love that is a great price. I like to get value for my money, so it is hard to pass up when it comes along.

Recently I splurged on my veil. I went back and forth-$90 for something I will wear for maybe 2 hours? Seems crazy! So I stewed and stewed. I decided that nothing else I saw was really close to it, in terms of making my heart go pitter-patter. Then I decided to forgo another little splurge I had planned, and then I felt much better. I am happy with my choice.

Now, not to enable, but if I were you, knowing that I would have more kids, I would get the dress. Did you try it on? It's a timeless look. And a gorgeous color.

BTW have you ever posted your wedding dress? I would love to see it!

 

[NovemberBride]

Circe,

I can justify splurges pretty easily - I worked hard to get to where i am today, which is making a comfortable living, so if I can afford it, I splurge without thinking twice. That said, as someone who is also currently preggo and has no qualms about spending a lot of money on quality clothing generally, I would not spend $240 on a maternity dress, particularly that one which seems pretty fancy, unless I knew I had a lot of places to go wearing it - meaining weddings, fancy dinners, etc. I rarely dress up these days, it''s just so much more comfortable to wear casual clothing when pregnant. I would much rather save my money and splurge when I get my pre-pregnancy body back on something I can wear a lot.

 

[monarch64]

Oh, you know, whenever I have a job for at least six weeks...or when I get a promotion such as not having to scrub the toilets anymore at work...or when I get out of bed in the morning...LOL

Seriously, though, I''ve treated myself unjustifiably enough in the past to have come to regret it now. This phase of my life is my sacrificing everything to pay off debt time. Next phase will be capital gain. Then I''ll think about treats.

I don''t really like wearing $9 sundresses from Wal-Mart, but that was actually something I considered a "treat" a few weeks ago. It''s actually way cuter than some of the designer crap in my closet that I spent way too much on.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Remember the Law of Diminishing Returns, Circe!

If it''s currently a gap-- as in you have NOTHING in this category and you have felt its absence-- you get a near-infinite return in benefit from going to zero to one. In my opinion, that counts a lot, and not even a self-professed "inveterate cheapskate" should discount that.

If you already have many similar pieces in your wardrobe or plan to buy many similar things nonetheless, pass if you think it''s too much money. But if "one and done!" applies to you in this instance, an inveterate cheapskate in particular should be able to see that value of that perhaps better than anyone else.

 

[Skippy123]

Oh my gosh Circe I am just like you, seriously; I completely understand your pain.

I agonize over spending money sometimes. I guess part of it comes from me working retail and seeing things marked down so I look for good deals if I can. If you think you will wear it often then go for it; it is very beautiful!!! eta: congrats on the baby on his/her way!!!

 

[dragonfly411]

I tend to guilt myself BUT:

Any time I don''t feel good
Any time I feel like I deserve it
Any time I feel a need to congratulate myself
Any time I feel the need to congratulate another (dinner can be for both

)
If I''m sad and need a pick me up
If I''m mad and need a pick me up
When I get a bonus
When I''m PMS''ing (Don''t deny it ladies you know you do it)


Now. I will say that a splurge for me is anything from a bowl of ice cream, to a new pair of shoes, to a new bottle of perfume.

 

[atroop711]

I RARELY treat myself. I'm always buying for my kids and even my dh...but rarely for me. I do splurge when it's my birthday! I always buy a GREAT gift for myself. This year I bought myself a digital SLR camera!

The dress you want is beautiful! When I was pregnant I did splurge...I said to myself..HEY I'M PREGNANT...I deserve it!

 

[steph72276]

Have you tried it on and still love it? I ask because I went maternity clothes shopping today and lots of stuff I scoped out online looked awful on and I ended up with other things. Also, everyone is different, but I found in my last pregnancy that my size changes really often so I didn''t end up wearing clothes very many times. I would have a really hard time paying that much for a dress you will only wear a few times. Which store is it from? Maybe call them and ask if it''s going to go on sale anytime soon?

 

[steph72276]

Date: 7/23/2009 3:27:14 PM
Author: NovemberBride
Circe,


I can justify splurges pretty easily - I worked hard to get to where i am today, which is making a comfortable living, so if I can afford it, I splurge without thinking twice. That said, as someone who is also currently preggo and has no qualms about spending a lot of money on quality clothing generally, I would not spend $240 on a maternity dress, particularly that one which seems pretty fancy, unless I knew I had a lot of places to go wearing it - meaining weddings, fancy dinners, etc. I rarely dress up these days, it''s just so much more comfortable to wear casual clothing when pregnant. I would much rather save my money and splurge when I get my pre-pregnancy body back on something I can wear a lot.

Should have just said ditto to this!

 

[cammy85]

I''m the same way with money. I''ll want to splurge but think of all the ''useful'' things I could be saving for.

But what''s the point of having money if you can''t have fun with it and splurge every once in a while?

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I splurge when it''s a deal I just can''t pass up, lol. Most of my gems are bought at least 50% off retail because I get them second hand or on sale, etc. I will splurge when it''s a gift though (like a cash gift or gift card) if the person expressly makes it known that they want me to have fun with the money and not buy anything practical with it. And I''ll splurge if it''s a one-of-a-kind thing that makes my heart soar, and I know I''ll regret not getting it (like my pad sapphire).

 

[4ever]

I like to save, BF likes to splurge. I''m currently a poor student so I splurge on nothing. Maybe on somthing nice and unnessesary for myself for my birthday or a new cheap top every 6 months when I start finding my wardrobe depressing.

BF however, has a full time job and few financial comitments so he likes to spend spend spend. He saves half his wages (because I make him) but I think he should be trying to save more rather then giving into his list of unnessesary wants. He buys himself somthing nice, expensive and unessesary every week or two. And now he wants to spend all the money I have made him save on an expensive car I don''t think he needs as much as financial security. *sigh*

 

[ficklefaye]

i''m a cheapskate myself, i tend to only treat myself after some convincing from FI, have you tried on other maternity dresses and this just happens to be the one? how often do you plan on wearing it? these are probably the same questions you asked yourself when you bought your boots, so if you feel you can get the full value, then go for it! if not, i''m sure you can buy more than one nice dress for that price

 

[Bia]

I''m asking myself the same question!!! I want this dress but I can''t seem to justify spending $400 on it

I''m interested in hearing what others say about this (maybe I''ll get the justification I need

)

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I saw designer maternity jeans at Marshall''s the other day. I don''t think I would spend that much on a maternity dress. Sorry. Unless you go to LOTS of formal events I just wouldn''t *personally* justify it.

I usually make the leap to purchase something out of character if it is something I have thought about/wanted for awhile. I just got my first pair of designer jeans and it was hard for me to spend $200 on *jeans.* But I know I do deserve them and they make me feel like a million bucks.

 

[Mara]

I treat myself whenever I want...I work hard and I deserve it. How often, too often my hub would say! I live through happiness and instant gratification.

But it's really all about what YOUR priorities are for spending money.

some people LOVE expensive shoes, i have two friends like this. i could never fathom spending $700 on a pair of shoes, OMG! but they adore them and that's what matters.

life is short and while you should definitely plan for the emergencies and the future, you should live in the now as well.

and speaking about pregnancy clothing in discount shops, actually you should check your area for consignment shops or used clothing boutiques. in some of the more ritzy towns around here, you can go to a salvation army store and end up with a $400 designer dress for $75 or a nice bag or similar. and people DO give their maternity clothes to these kinds of places too so you never know!

personally for me, i would not want to spend on mat clothes because i wouldn't be wearing it all that long, but if you find something absolutely fabulous that makes you feel beautiful at a time when you might not feel your best, why not.

 

[Camille]

Lovely dress Circe! I worked while preggers and very soon discovered that I could only wear them a few times vs separates.
Career quality clothing is key to look sharp, but in your case, once the baby comes, expensive/quality maternity clothes go to salvation army, not worth the $$ imho. I''d rather spend $$ on shoes, a pair or two-- your feet won''t be the same after the baby comes, and you Will be wearing those......
I''ve worked very hard to be where I''m at, do splurge time to time w/o worries.

 

[princessplease]

When I splurge, it''s usually on a Coach purse. I used to when I saw a deal I couldn''t pass up. I once got a Coach bag with a retail of $598 for $150 at the outlet. Now, I very rarely anymore though since I''m in grad school and FI and I saving for a house.
Even when I bought Coach bags, I would go to the outlet, and get a bag for under $200. I could never justify spending more than that on a purse, but that''s just me.

 

[icekid]

Having spent most of my twenties in school, and now as a resident- I have this problem too, Circe. Spending money is hard for me! The change purse strings will loosen slowly over time, most likely. But since I spent my formative years saving, it's kind of been ground into me now

That dress is gorgeous! It will make you feel like a million bucks. Buy it

 

[wolftress]

Circe, that dress is absolutely beautiful. I don''t know if this helps with your decision, but it looks like it can be easily dressed up or down with a cardigan, blazer, statement jewellery and shoes.

I love a bargain too, and will cheerfully tell people I bought my handbag for $15, new blouse for $10, etc. But I justify treating myself if I got a pay rise, nabbed a new job, passed a test or made it through a difficult time professionally or in my personal life. A treat can range from $100 to $300 and is usually jewellery-related

 

[vip0802]

what a gorgeous dress Circe! i think that if can afford it, then you should go for it...especially if you like it that much.

you live only once, so why not? sorry for being an enabler...i do that all the time with my one of my girlfriends, but i never actually splurge myself.

i love to bargain hunt so, my kind of splurging is going to Target for non-essential household items. i buy cheap purses and shoes since i abuse them like crazy. i give myself my own manis and pedis since i like to do it myself. although, i don''t give myself a mani very often since i work with my hands a lot, and i feel like a $30 manicure would go to waste. as far as clothing goes, i''m just a casual person to begin with so i usually buy at Target, Kohls and Old Navy.

i justify big splurges to commemorate a special occasion, if i''m feeling a little blue or if it''s a stressful time. even if it''s spending as little as $10, it always cheers me up. however my b-day is coming up, so i''m planning to get a professional mani & pedi and possibly something sparkly!

 

[KimberlyH]

Very rarely. The last time I purchased a single item, that wasn''t necessary, that cost more than $100 dollars was 2 years ago (it was a dress, and I paid $140 for it, only because my husband refused to leave the store until I bought it). I enjoy shopping, but I only do it when necessary and I don''t buy anything that isn''t on sale.

The dress is beautiful, but I can''t imagine wearing a lot through a pregnancy unless you go to LOTS of formal events. I couldn''t justify it, but I don''t justify much spending just for the sake of buying something.

 

[Circe]

These were so much fun to read - I love getting varied perspectives. That said, it took me a bit to figure out the pinks shoes! For a bit, I though one person just kept coming back to add more info. ....

Miscka, it sounds like you follow my mom''s rule - if you''re still thinking about it the next day, it''s worth it! Your veil must be awesome. I will look forward to pics ... which, speaking of, no, none of my dress up here, but it''s a pretty basic strapless ivory cotton dress, knee-length. Good quality, but nothing too fancy - we eloped on a beach on Carmel. It had originally been priced at a couple of hundred, but ... cheap, y''know?

NovemberBride - good logic there! You think it looks that fancy? I was thinking I could use it for mid-range events - from dress-up to, say, dinners with the husband. I was also hoping I could wear it after, since it''s supposedly pretty stretchy ... but, keeping to your point, there''s an equally pretty non-maternity dress from the same company in red that has me salivating. Maybe I should save for that one ... it''d definitely be incentive to get my figure back, pronto!

Monarch, you just plain crack me up. And, you''re right! Some of my favorite things are no-name cheapy pieces - there are some v. clever designers out there.

Fleur, you are *wise* - that''s exactly what this would be. And now, I am that much more tempted ....

Skippy, yay for great minds thinking alike! And, thank you.

More in a little bit - first, rec letters to get out of the way. Bleurgh ....

 

[lyra]

Well, I tend to obsess over things, so the next day rule isn''t quite good enough for me! Maybe the 6 month rule? I really don''t consider maternity wear to be a splurge though, especially if you are working. I had to have some fairly expensive pieces when I was working with my first pregnancy, and they held up well and still looked good second time around, 3 years later. Even so, you may get sick of your maternity clothes no matter what! Having one item that is more expensive, but that you love is truly worth it! Not a splurge at all!!!!