Horribly stressed -- do I give up my job?

[Upgradable]

Some of you may remember that I went to back to work in August after being a SAHM for the last 4 years. It''s a minimum wage job at the same HS my kids attend, so the hours and environment are perfect to continue to support them. However, my son has had a fever that he can''t quite shake and we''ve been missing bits of school/work for the past 3 weeks. I''m really feeling stressed about the need to be with him (he is a 17 yr old with Down syndrome) and the committment I have made to this new job.

I just really needed to put this stress in print, hoping to get some perspective on it. Anyone have an extra helping?

 

[Steel]

I did read your other thread but because of my own stress I am sorry, I did not respond. But here is my thought:

Unless your employer has an issue with your absence I would not even give it a second thought. The most I would do it to sit your superior down and explain to them how you feel and ask them (off the record) if they feel it is an issue.

Best of luck.

I hope your son recovers very soon, I can''t imagine how worried you must feel. ***Best wishes & positive thoughts***

 

[Upgradable]

Thanks Steel. In response to your current situation, I really hope it all goes well and for the best.

I didn''t want to directly comment on your thread about my experiences either, because I didn''t want to to be Debbie Downer. I found myself accepting my dream job the year I turned 39. I was so excited....... and then it ended up being the worst year of my life. What I found was my "idea" and reality were totally different. After a year, I took another job which was a much better fit for me and my family. My only caution to you is to be accepting and dynamic, and don''t force things.

I have talked with my boss, and he is understanding thus far. The stress is of my own making entirely. But do I need to do that to myself?

 

[packrat]

Aw Uppy, I''m sorry you''re feeling stressed and I''m sorry your son is still sick! If your employer is understanding, then kick the job-worry to the curb deary! Concentrate on your son and helping him get over his sickness. Ha, I say that, but if I were in your position, I''d feel the same way! I think that goes to the type of employee you are, and I would venture to say that if every employer had employees that were that concerned about all aspects of their job, the workplace would be a lot different!

Does your son have the flu? Argh-it''s just awful when our kids are sick. It''s hard to be a mom and not be able to wave a magic wand and make them feel better!

 

[decodelighted]

Don't stress, Uppie. Quitting would be a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This is a job where you're not irreplaceable, yanno? Its not rocket surgery.

There was an article recently about a company who specializes in Temps over 40 ... why? Because they're more reliable than their younger generation counterparts. They found out that young employees are much more likely to miss work & lack the same work ethics that older generations held. On the flip side -- I'm suggesting you take the more lax attitude and don't beat yourself up. You can't control your son's sickness AND leave it up to your bosses whether its worth keeping you or not at this juncture. Obviously they think it is if they haven't fired you, right!

Be easy on yourself. You're just a human "girl" trying to get along in this world. You DO NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT. MmmmKay?

 

[Upgradable]

Deco, thanks for encouraging me to gain perspective. I struggle with this feeling responsibility for things I cannot necessarily affect.

Thanks also packy and steel. I appreciate the support.

Took Paul back to the doctor today and they gave him an injection of a different antibiotic. If he pops a fever again this weekend we go in Monday for bloodwork. I''d appreciate any dust anyone may throw our way....

 

[Bliss]

Firstly, I hope your son feels better!

OK, here is what I would do.

IMAGINE QUITTING YOUR JOB.

How do you feel? Do you feel relief? Even as your thoughts race with, "But-- BUT---" pay attention to your body. Is your stomach relaxed? Are your shoulders tense? Sometimes you need to pay attention to your physiological signs when the mind is trying to quiet down and eliminate noise. Are you afraid to admit that you signed on to more than you can handle at this time in your life? Do you secretly want to quit but feel obligated?

IMAGINE STAYING AT YOUR JOB.
Do you feel better? Hopeful you can manage it? Is the guilt crippling? Maybe you truly want to stay. Maybe you feel guilty for staying on when your son could use some more time with you. Or perhaps you tense up because every atom in your being is screaming for you to quit.

Make a list! Just write and write and write whatever pops into your head.

Write out both scenarios. Pros and Cons.

Then sip some tea and look over them - the big picture will come to you eventually!
Sounds like you're already at the crossroads and a little overcooked in the decision... so hit the brakes and let it come to you in silence.

When you are grasping and frantic for an answer, you can't see what is right in front of your nose!
Gotta hit the brakes and take a breather. Most of the time, you already know the answer but there are some tough sacrifices that you're unwilling to face in the process. But the answer is there. Don't be so hard on yourself! It's OK and not life or death.

Walk by a cancer hospital (there are tons here in NY) and it puts my worries into such perspective.
You are so blessed already. It'll be OK. Life hasn't let you down yet, you are protected and blessed. Trust.

In the end, it's just a job. Or maybe it's more than a job. But don't be afraid to disappoint other people. Is that it? We women try so hard to balance 10,000 plates while riding a unicycle and you know what? It SUCKS! Don't do it anymore! Life is about disappointing people sometimes - they can deal with it and will understand. We all have to leave jobs sometimes. Or we have to let others take care of our kids when we go to work. It's OK. It's really OK.

Sometimes I have turned down or left a job and the employer freaked out. But it turned out to be a blessing for someone else who got that job. And they were better at it than I could be at the time. Who knew? There are hidden blessings everywhere and sometimes you are the giver, the recipient or the vehicle (midwife) for these gifts. Ya know?

Take a walk and look at a gorgeous sunset... let life put it in perspective for you. Stress kills. Let it go! It will get better, I promise! HUGS.

 

[Upgradable]

bless you, bliss!

 

[Bliss]

Date: 10/2/2009 4:46:48 PM
Author: Upgradable
bless you, bliss!

(((HUGS!)))

 

[packrat]

More get better soon dust for your son Uppy!

 

[VRBeauty]

Uppie -- you've had the conversation with your boss, and he's OK with your current situation -- so please, take him at his word and focus your energy where it needs to be right now... with your son. Seriously, fretting when your boss has told your absence right now is not a problem is kind of a slap in the face to your boss and the other forces that helped you find this job that otherwise meets your needs so perfectly. (And BTW, please don't take that as an excuse to feel guilty about feeling guilty!

)

I hope your son feels better soon!

 

[lulu]

If you like the job and your boss is okay with it I wouldn''t quit. Hang in there for awhile. I hope your son feels better soon.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I''m so sorry your boy is sick! We have had a crazy amount of sickness in our schools this year so far as well. You know what comes first...so like others have said, do what you need to do without guilt!!!!