Wedding Help picking a venue

[luvbug]

Hi Everyone

I''m pretty new and havent posted much, but I find myself torn very early on in the planning. We are fully emerged in venue search and I have been mostly disappointed with everything we have seen. It seems like pictures online rarely represent real life.

Some background - We had planned on getting married in Italy (FIs entire extended family lives there and its beautiful) but after getting back from Italy we realized the logistics were too much + its freakin beyond expensive there!!
We are getting married in October 2009. We both love the fall and I really wanted the trees and landscape to be a main character in our wedding. We live in NJ right near the river, so we''ve been hunting in PA. After a few weeks (and waaaay too many appts) we have found two places we would consider. Neither is perfect...if I could put them together they would be!

Venue 1: A beautiful Tudor mansion with a ballroom that couldn''t be more perfect if I designed it myself. The ballroom is very new and it opens onto a huge old stone patio with fountains. So you get the new/old feeling which I really like. The landscape is only ok for what I was looking for, I''ve heard it doesnt get very colorful and the grass is a little mangy (people keep telling me I''m crazy for looking at the grass).

Venue 2: A little further West, you drive down a great country road to a Revolutionary War home and it is awesome outside. They don''t have space inside so the reception would be in a tent outside, which is set up year round and was honestly a little smelly - but we went on a rainy day so it was all closed up. It was very nice, but we''ve never pictured a tented wedding for us.

The caterer is the same for both locations (same prices too). We''ve tried some hors d''oeuvres and they were awesome and everyone is beyond nice. Neither one gave me the "this is it" feeling. Should I expect that with a venue? Would you pick one being only about 80% into it or continue the grueling task of searching? Any suggestions in Eastern PA would be great too!
Thanks for any advice

 

[Shoopy]

Given what you said I would go with #1.

 

[Octavia]

Luvbug, what are your criteria for the venue? Must-haves and must-not-haves? I'm in Philly, so I was venue-shopping in the area recently.

Our must-haves were:
ceremony on-site
public or quasi-public location (I want to be able to go back whenever we want, so we mainly stayed away from the caterer-owned facilities and private homes, and looked for museums, parks, arboretums, etc.)
capacity for 150 guests
away from highways -- my DF was adamant about not hearing road noise
good looks

Our would-like-to-haves were:
choice of caterers
BYOB
within 1/2 hour of Center City
formal gardens

I wasn't impressed with anything that came up on the "local vendors" pages on Partyspace.com, The Knot, Brides.com, etc. We did like Tyler Arboretum but it wasn't available on our original date, and we had a hard time picturing how it would be set up. Luckily, a poster on Weddingbee mentioned that she was having her wedding at Ridley Creek State Park, and after one trip there we booked it. It's a gorgeous mansion in the centre of the park, and had literally everything we were looking for. The only not-so-great thing is that if it rains, the ceremony will have to be in the ballroom, where the reception is set up, and it could be a bit hectic for the caterers. It could also be on the grand staircase, but it would be standing room only for the guests and therefore not particularly comfortable. But it's do-able, we'll deal with it if we have to. We're also an October 2009 wedding.

My best advice is to not feel constrained to the sites that advertise themselves all over the place. There ARE other venues, if you are willing to do a teeny bit of extra work. For example, Ridley doesn't really advertise, so it's nearly impossible to find info online unless you know the exact Google search to find the bookings website (not linked in any way to the park's website). So be on the lookout for word-of-mouth references if you're looking for other venues. Weddingwire seems to have more venues listed than the other websites, along with reviews, so you should check that out if you haven't already.

If you post a list of your criteria, I might be able to suggest some other venues. (Just out of curiosity, is Venue #1 Aldie? If so, I was at a wedding there a couple weeks ago and can give you my opinion!)

 

[luvbug]

fieryred33143 – Thanks for the vote, that’s FIs pick too

Octavia – Hello fellow October PA bride, thanks for responding! Wow your site looks great, we might have to check that out. But it does look really hard to get info on, I just googled around for a few minutes with little luck. We didn’t look at Tyler Arboretum b/c it was a little farther away than we wanted to go. But I’ve been 2nd thinking that. I too am pretty disappointed with the selection on the sites you mentioned. I’ve been trying to search outside of the box. We’re also pretty new to the area and don’t really know many people for suggestions. I’ll def check out weddingwire thanks!

Must-Have
No minimums – We’ve run into this problem a lot. Hoping to keep the guest list 100-120 (hard task)
Within an hour of NJ – most guests are from Northern NJ/Long Island so we don’t want them to have travel tooooo far

Like-to-Have
Extensive grounds that would lend to colorful fall pics
Surrounding area to be scenic – I like the idea of the areas around the wedding be as nice as the local itself so when people drive up they get the feel as they get closer. An attractive radius if you will.

We don’t have many must-haves. I would like a place that’s pretty inclusive so there is hopefully less work/decisions. We’re so busy and very indecisive. Both places we’re considered include sooooo much.

Yes! #1 is Aldie and I do really like it, but I don’t know if I want to give up my fall scenic wedding idea. Very torn. Also, Saturdays are booked for next Oct so we have a Fri on hold, which I’m also not sure about. How was the wedding there? I hope you liked it b/c FI is kind of rooting for that one.

 

[Octavia]

I thought it sounded familiar! The wedding I went to was very nice, and the mansion itself is gorgeous. The flow of the space is great, and the photographers did photo from the balcony of the couple with all the guests gathered around the fountain, which was really nice. It did have a few downsides, though. I really don''t want to scare you off, but you should be aware that if you hold your ceremony outside, in the corner by the walled garden, a) the industrial air vent from the building next door is visible, and b) there''s a small airport nearby, so little planes are constantly flying overhead. Neither of these things was terrible, and they didn''t make it noisy or anything, but I did notice them. Also, I was a little surprised that the passed hors d''ouevres weren''t very hot, since the kitchen is right there. The plated meal was very good, though (the bride & groom did a duet with salmon and beef, and the vegetarian meal was ravioli). All in all, it''s a lovely site but it wouldn''t have been right for my DF and me.

I didn''t look at many all-inclusive (or mostly-inclusive) places, so I''m not much help there, unfortunately. And we booked the second place we looked at, so I don''t have a ton of information about costs and minimums and all that.

If you like the idea of an arboretum, have you checked out the Morris Arboretum or Curtis Arboretum? I didn''t actually look at either of them because we''re having a daytime wedding so Morris was out, and we booked our site before looking at Curtis. But I''ve heard good things about both, and they''re both close by, so they could be worth a look.

Another place I would have looked at if we hadn''t booked our site is The Inn at Lambertville Station, which is actually in NJ (just across the bridge from New Hope, PA), since I love that area. It doesn''t have extensive grounds, but the river view is very pretty.

If you''re interested in Ridley, this site is the best I''ve found for online info.

Good luck, I hope something works out! If I think of anything more, I''ll be sure to post about it.

 

[luvbug]

Thanks so much Octavia!! Ridley looks sooooo beautiful - I am definitely going to check it out!

That''s so funny you mention Lambertville Inn. FI and I went there early on, after two weekends of disspointing places. We just let out such a sigh of relief b/c we finally found a place we would use, so we knew we had something. We''ve since found better options for us, but the Inn was really nice and so was everyone there. We looked a lot in New Hope too. Holly Hedge Estates was perfect, but they have a minimum of 150, I''m hoping to not even get close to that.

Thanks for the heads up on Aldie. We''re probably doing a church ceremony if we book there, but thats definitely good to know. I was there for 3 hours with my parents the other day (they had a big open house with vendors and food) and I didnt notice either thing LOL.

 

[Octavia]

If you have your ceremony at a church, I wouldn''t worry about the teeny things I mentioned about Aldie at all, since I only noticed them during the ceremony and completely forgot about them as soon as it was over. It really was a great venue overall.

It''s such a shame about HollyHedge, the minimum was one of the reasons I didn''t bother to check it out, either. I''ve heard raving reviews of it, it''s just over budget for us. Just from a quick search on Partyspace, have you checked out The Highlands (Fort Washington), Appleford (Villanova), Greystone Manor (West Chester), The Willows (Radnor), Hilltop House (Devon), or The Farmhouse at People''s Light & Theatre Co. (Malvern)? I think they all have lots of trees on the properties, though some of them might be getting pretty far away for your OOT guests.

The Willows is beyond gorgeous and has sentimental value to my FI and I, and we probably would have held our wedding there except that we didn''t like the idea of people being seated in different rooms indoors, or having to tent outdoors. If you don''t mind these things, it''s SUCH a lovely site. We also have friends who used Greystone for their wedding a couple years ago and loved it.

Sorry if you''ve already looked at these venues -- I''m just in a weddingy mood at the moment so I''m having fun with this!

 

[luvbug]

Octavia - You are so awesome!!! Thank you so much for all of your suggestions, you gave me a lot to look into this weekend

I only recognize one of those names LOL...I''m still trying to familiarize myself with PA

We''re planning on going to Ridley on Sunday, I called for an appointment and the lady said to come on down anytime. Nice! Holly Hedge is a little out of our budget too but I def thought about stretching it for that place! Darn those minimums.

Are you having a smaller wedding too? Originally I didnt think 100ish was that small, but apparently I was mistaken!

Did you book your photographer? This is the next biggie looming in my mind.

Thanks again, it''s nice to meet another PA bride and same wedding month!

 

[Octavia]

Our guest list is currently at 136, although at least 10 of those are "courtesy invites" because we're pretty sure they won't be able to make it (but we'd love it if they could). The list may fluctuate a bit, but I think it's pretty stable overall (though we still have the vexing problem of who gets +1s and who doesn't. I'm putting it out of my mind until we have to actually mail things out). Ridley's capacity is 150, but we're hoping have around 125-130 people actually attend.

We still haven't booked our caterer or photographer, though I've gotten information from a couple of each. My FI is away right now, so my hands are tied a bit until he gets back (although he'll probably go with whatever I think is best, but I don't want him to feel like he's not being included). I'm in discussions with two caterers right now and they're both pretty awesome -- it's going to be a hard choice -- and they both do a lot of the event coordination as well as supplying the food. So even though Ridley is pretty DIY compared to places like Aldie, Glen Foerd, etc. it doesn't seem too daunting. We may end up using one of FI's friends as our photographer, although I'm a little uncomfortable with it because although he is an amazing professional photographer, I don't think he's ever done a wedding and I'm not sure I want to be guinea pigs for that...

Once we have our vendors in place, I'll let you know! Have fun this weekend!

 

[Livinthedream]

Hi Luvbug- Our PA reception site had a minimum of 125. Is that out of your range?

 

[luvbug]

Hi Livinthedream - After a weekend with my parents, my guest list may have just shot up another 30 people LOL. So...it looks like 125 minimum isn’t out of range anymore! Any suggestions?? Thanks

Octavia - I didn’t get to go to Ridley on Sunday

I was visiting my parents in North Jersey and we didn’t get back in time to make it over there. I was so upset! + FI travels a lot during the week so I don’t know when we''ll get there, hopefully this coming weekend. My parents are also ''strongly suggesting'' we look closer to them, as most of the guests are in the NYmetro area. I might have to go up there to look and appease them. I’m having a hard time with all this back and forth!
Good luck with your vendors! That would be great to use someone you know as a wedding photog! Why don’t you ask him to do a session with the two of you to see how it goes? It would be a little scary to be the 1st ones though.

 

[Livinthedream]

Here are a few pics of the place we are getting married. It''s the Montrose Mansion at the Villanova Conference Center. They only do 1 wedding a day so it''s all about you, besides the fountains it has a gorgeous scenic ''pond'' perfect for pictures. Food is excellent, terrace open for your cocktail hour... I could go on and on. Here are a few pics of the grounds.

 

[Livinthedream]

Stairs to pond/lake area

 

[Livinthedream]

...

 

[Livinthedream]

Ceremony area if you do both parts there. (we are

)