Have you not worn your ering to a job interview?

[Autumnovember]

I'll probably start interviewing for nursing positions in June/July and this has definitely crossed my mind. I decided that I won't wear mine and I'm not even sure if I'll wear my wedding band. People judge based on appearance and I don't want my rings to even be the slightest cause of me not getting a job (yeah it'd be illegal but how would I ever know?).

 

[stargurl78]

I never considered not wearing my e-ring to an interview but some valid points have definitely been brought up. However, mine is .79ct so it is by no means going to make anyone think I'm rich. I've had 2 interviews since I've been engaged - I wore my e-ring to both and I was offered both jobs.

The only times I've purposely not worn my e-ring is when we have to take our cats to the vet. One time we had to go in for an emergency visit (my cat got in the bathroom closet and cut her paw on a shaving razor) and I had been in the middle of working outside and had a ratty coat on and no jewelry. And on that visit they offered to waive the exam fee since we had visited not too long ago. That NEVER happens so I'm thinking my shoddy appearance that day may have had something to do with it

 

[Amys Bling]

I do think that unfortunately people will make assumptions. I think if and when I need to interview I may just wear my thin shared prong wedding band.

 

[bee*]

I wouldn't even have thought to take off my ering for an interview. I wear mine to work every day and take it off during surgery/holding patients.

 

[yssie]

I wouldn't ever wear it to an interview. I don't wear it to work, and I work with computers so it's not a matter of convenience or practicality... I'm in my mid-twenties and look younger, and my ring is sizable by local standards, and I do think that my co-workers (much older males) would see it as ostentatious and girly, and ostentatious+girly+young = can't take you seriously no matter how well you work!

I do always wear a band though, including to interviews. This isn't the place you'd expect a young single woman to wind up, and I was worried that if I went band-less potential employers would worry that I'd take the first opportunity to leave.

 

[MrsBettyBoop]

I would not wear my e-ring for an interview. At my last interview/job I just wore a band. Within my first week my rings were already a topic of discussion... I never stopped wearing them though but women will talk and gossip. At least is was mostly to my face which I could respect.

 

[Haven]

I've always worn my e-ring and other regular jewelry for interviews, and have never thought to leave any of it at home.

As someone who has been sitting in hours' worth of interviews for the last several Fridays, I can say that neither I, nor anyone else on the search committee, has noticed or mentioned a candidate's jewelry. We talk about their CVs, demonstrations, and interview responses. But never their jewelry.

I work in a community college, for reference.

ETA: I don't work in an environment where people gossip about each other, anyway. So perhaps this is why I would never think about my jewelry, or someone else's, in an interview.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Maybe it depends on the field.

I am a university prof and if I was on the job market today I would wear my 0.55cttw half eternity to interviews. I think at my age and stage being married is a good thing, and people know I have two kids (small world in my field) so... But I would not wear all my bling. It is a very bling-free environment.

I think it depends a LOT on your age. As someone who is in her 20s and childless, I know employers fear I could go on maternity leave at any time. Fair or not, an engagement ring is a visual reminder of that risk.

Your very femaleness is a reminder of that, lets not fool ourselves. Hiding your engagement ring will not allow you to avoid that prejudice.

But we have talked about that before, we don't need to rehash. I have always said "F You" to the way of thinking that my gender is an impediment; my gender offers just as much to my job as it potentially takes away. I was pregnant on the job market and deferred by start date to take my government sanctioned maternity leave. And I kick butt and take no prisoners in my job. Warrior women unite.

 

[Enerchi]

Maybe it depends on the field.

I am a university prof and if I was on the job market today I would wear my 0.55cttw half eternity to interviews. I think at my age and stage being married is a good thing, and people know I have two kids (small world in my field) so... But I would not wear all my bling. It is a very bling-free environment.

I think it depends a LOT on your age. As someone who is in her 20s and childless, I know employers fear I could go on maternity leave at any time. Fair or not, an engagement ring is a visual reminder of that risk.

Your very femaleness is a reminder of that, lets not fool ourselves. Hiding your engagement ring will not allow you to avoid that prejudice.

But we have talked about that before, we don't need to rehash. I have always said "F You" to the way of thinking that my gender is an impediment; my gender offers just as much to my job as it potentially takes away. I was pregnant on the job market and deferred by start date to take my government sanctioned maternity leave. And I kick butt and take no prisoners in my job. Warrior women unite.

Dreamer, you sound like a hoot! I think I could hang out with you and a bottle of wine and have a great time!

Wonder what men think when they go on a job interview? Do they take off their rings? Do they not wear a fancy watch? Do they even THINK of these things? or are we women potentially making ourselves 'undervalued' by thinking about jewelry or not at an interview?

Wonder what men think of pre-interview?

 

[missy]

Wonder what men think of pre-interview?

I can only comment on what my dh thought before his interviews and that was how to be best prepared for the interview itself. And that had nothing to do with what ring/watch he wore and everything to do with being knowledgeable about the company and what they do and what value he could offer if hired.

It is pretty sad that we have to think this way in this day and age.

 

[mayerling]

Yes, there was one time when I didn't wear my ering to an interview. I knew that my marital situation would not be taken into consideration - this was a job in academia and they really don't care if you're married or not - but I didn't want to invite any sort of personal questions.

 

[Rhea]

For me it's not so much my martial situation. I work in the charity sector in London so a rather family and people friendly sector overall. I think I don't wear my engagement ring because I work with the homeless population. My ring wasn't expensive, roughly the cost of 1 months rent on a lower-end 1 bedroom flat in a descent area, but not expensive is all in the eyes of the beholder. It's a large ring for the sector, at least at my level; I'm a front-line worker.

 

[HollyS]

Here's my thought: You shouldn't be applying for jobs where people judge you based upon (what should be tasteful, anyway) jewelry.

I've interviewed (literally) hundreds of women. I have NEVER noticed, or given a hoot about their wedding rings. Period.

If you're interviewing where people are intimidated by or disdainful about wedding rings, what kind of place would that be to work in?? Stifling and soul sucking, surely.

However, since there have been oh, so many of these threads on PS over the years, I'd say a few PSers are a bit too enamored of their bling choices and ASSUME they will make the proverbial 'splash' wherever they go, decked out in their finery. No. You. Won't. The rest of the world is busy with more important matters than noticing everything about you.

And, I have to disagree with thing2 about employers wanting single women. I call BS. I was single for a l-o-n-g time. And working. I was not more respected, nor did I get better offers, as a single woman. 'Course, I wasn't working my way up the ladder at Corporate Cubicle City where all the cliches apparently apply.

 

[MissStepcut]

Here's my thought: You shouldn't be applying for jobs where people judge you based upon (what should be tasteful, anyway) jewelry.

I've interviewed (literally) hundreds of women. I have NEVER noticed, or given a hoot about their wedding rings. Period.

If you're interviewing where people are intimidated by or disdainful about wedding rings, what kind of place would that be to work in?? Stifling and soul sucking, surely.

However, since there have been oh, so many of these threads on PS over the years, I'd say a few PSers are a bit too enamored of their bling choices and ASSUME they will make the proverbial 'splash' wherever they go, decked out in their finery. No. You. Won't. The rest of the world is busy with more important matters than noticing everything about you.

And, I have to disagree with thing2 about employers wanting single women. I call BS. I was single for a l-o-n-g time. And working. I was not more respected, nor did I get better offers, as a single woman. 'Course, I wasn't working my way up the ladder at Corporate Cubicle City where all the cliches apparently apply.

I think all the cliches apply in law. And it certainly has been called soul-sucking before. But in this economy, young women who are still getting established professionally find themselves in the position of being beggars, not choosers.

 

[VRBeauty]

I've always worn my e-ring and other regular jewelry for interviews, and have never thought to leave any of it at home.

As someone who has been sitting in hours' worth of interviews for the last several Fridays, I can say that neither I, nor anyone else on the search committee, has noticed or mentioned a candidate's jewelry. We talk about their CVs, demonstrations, and interview responses. But never their jewelry.

I work in a community college, for reference.

ETA: I don't work in an environment where people gossip about each other, anyway. So perhaps this is why I would never think about my jewelry, or someone else's, in an interview.

This.

If you're going to work in an NGO- or social services-type field, maybe.

Other than that, these days the opportunity to fill vacancies is too rare to waste it by making bad assumptions about somebody's jewelry (and even, except for extreme situations, about their clothing).

 

[Rhea]

Here's my thought: You shouldn't be applying for jobs where people judge you based upon (what should be tasteful, anyway) jewelry.

I disagree with this. As a social worker in my former life there was one woman who regularly wore very nice items to work - both clothing and jewellery. She wouldn't be out of place working in a bank, but she was in an environment where we worked with low income families. Her dress supposedly created a divide that could make her clients uncomfortable and she was told (or so she told us) by her managers to tone down what she wore to work.

I currently work with street homeless women. They have often been using substances since their teenage years, sex work, and have mental health problems. On the rare occasions I wear my engagement ring to work it is noticed. My clients are unafraid to ask how much anything costs, notice every new item of clothing, and do regularly grab my hand.

We aren't exactly encouraged to look like our clients, but we're encouraged to make them feel comfortable and open with us. Dressing the part is a huge help. It's also a fairly low paying job and I live in an expensive area where money is thought best spent on items other than jewellery, such as housing. So yes, I am judged, everyday, by what I wear to work. It's a job I applied for and quite enjoy. I am glad I applied for it. Even if it means leaving my 0.47 carat engagement ring at home most days and preparing myself for comments when I show up to work in a new pair of £70 Levis.

 

[MissStepcut]

I've always worn my e-ring and other regular jewelry for interviews, and have never thought to leave any of it at home.

As someone who has been sitting in hours' worth of interviews for the last several Fridays, I can say that neither I, nor anyone else on the search committee, has noticed or mentioned a candidate's jewelry. We talk about their CVs, demonstrations, and interview responses. But never their jewelry.

I work in a community college, for reference.

ETA: I don't work in an environment where people gossip about each other, anyway. So perhaps this is why I would never think about my jewelry, or someone else's, in an interview.

This.

If you're going to work in an NGO- or social services-type field, maybe.

Other than that, these days the opportunity to fill vacancies is too rare to waste it by making bad assumptions about somebody's jewelry (and even, except for extreme situations, about their clothing).

Well whether or not it's a good idea to judge women on stuff like this, the empirical evidence on the subject says it's quite important. I think a woman, especially a young woman, going into hiring with the idealistic position that it shouldn't and therefore doesn't matter, is behaving naïvely to her own detriment.

 

[Mayk]

Well...now I am having issues on if I should or should not wear my new five stone to a business meeting this week... ugh... I'm probably putting too much thought into it.. but I am actually thinking of leaving it at home as I head out on a three day business trip... I've had it two full days..... I know.. I have issues... I come here for counseling!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Bling also equals status, not only that you are married, and status can be a goood thing in some fields too. The research is not as conclusive as you thinkg Miss Step Cut. Likely there have been one or two studies, not all that well done. I am certainly not familiar with a huge body if quality empircal literature on the topic. I would love to see the references for the source literature you are famiar with. As a social psychologist it would interest me. My experience is that typically, the types of studies that make it into the common consciousness are poorly done and undercontrolled. Hence not a good idea to use as a guide for one's life.

I am familar with a number of high quality studies about women in job interviews, but none that systematically vary marital status or bling presence/absence.

 

[Laila619]

Wonder what men think of pre-interview?

I can only comment on what my dh thought before his interviews and that was how to be best prepared for the interview itself. And that had nothing to do with what ring/watch he wore and everything to do with being knowledgeable about the company and what they do and what value he could offer if hired.

It is pretty sad that we have to think this way in this day and age.

Yes.

I really never thought wearing an engagement ring would make or break my interview!

 

[Deia]

I think it depends on the industry and your age. Banking, Law, fields where people openly embrace wealth will not look twice at your ring most likely but whether we like it or not people judge us every day. I would not wear any substantial jewelry to an interview but maybe after I got the job, if in the fields above.

Unfortunately I agree employers prefer married men and single women...married men = more stable, less likely to come in superbly hungover on a wednesday. Single women = less likely to be pregnant in the immediate future thus more stable for the company.

It's all just psychology really....

 

[Deia]

Wonder what men think of pre-interview?

I can only comment on what my dh thought before his interviews and that was how to be best prepared for the interview itself. And that had nothing to do with what ring/watch he wore and everything to do with being knowledgeable about the company and what they do and what value he could offer if hired.

It is pretty sad that we have to think this way in this day and age.

Men are less likely to be affected by these perceptions, unfair but true. And I wholeheartedly agree with you that it IS sad that we have to think this way...but we, as women, will not change people's perceptions by forcing bling in their faces.

 

[Jennifer W]

Wonder what men think of pre-interview?

I can only comment on what my dh thought before his interviews and that was how to be best prepared for the interview itself. And that had nothing to do with what ring/watch he wore and everything to do with being knowledgeable about the company and what they do and what value he could offer if hired.

It is pretty sad that we have to think this way in this day and age.

Not to be picking on you, Missy, but do we really have to? My own experience is of course not the same as actual evidence, but I don't think about this on any level and I've always had exactly the job I want. I mean, I have never given this a second thought, and as far as I'm aware I've never been discriminated against on the grounds of my engagement ring, age, marital status, gender or perceived socio economic status. On the few occasions when I've been unsuccessful at interview, it has been for a clear reason. I do for example take the odd punt on applying or jobs I am in no way qualified for but quite fancy anyway, and I take it as a huge ego boost that I make it even to the face to face interviews on those occasions. It keeps my interview skills fresh if nothing else.

The things that matter to me as an interviewer are how the candidates score against the weighted scoring matrix I prepare in advance, and which I can show to demonstrate fairness and transparency to any unsuccessful candidate on any interview panel I've headed up. The things that matter to me as an interviewee are finding out or trying to anticipate what's likely to be on that matrix (either a formal one or mental checklist) of the people interviewing me. I'm not there to present my gender, accessories or anything other than workplace skills and never perceived that I've been judged on anything other than those skills.

 

[missy]

Wonder what men think of pre-interview?

I can only comment on what my dh thought before his interviews and that was how to be best prepared for the interview itself. And that had nothing to do with what ring/watch he wore and everything to do with being knowledgeable about the company and what they do and what value he could offer if hired.

It is pretty sad that we have to think this way in this day and age.

Not to be picking on you, Missy, but do we really have to? My own experience is of course not the same as actual evidence, but I don't think about this on any level and I've always had exactly the job I want. I mean, I have never given this a second thought, and as far as I'm aware I've never been discriminated against on the grounds of my engagement ring, age, marital status, gender or perceived socio economic status. On the few occasions when I've been unsuccessful at interview, it has been for a clear reason. I do for example take the odd punt on applying or jobs I am in no way qualified for but quite fancy anyway, and I take it as a huge ego boost that I make it even to the face to face interviews on those occasions. It keeps my interview skills fresh if nothing else.

The things that matter to me as an interviewer are how the candidates score against the weighted scoring matrix I prepare in advance, and which I can show to demonstrate fairness and transparency to any unsuccessful candidate on any interview panel I've headed up. The things that matter to me as an interviewee are finding out or trying to anticipate what's likely to be on that matrix (either a formal one or mental checklist) of the people interviewing me. I'm not there to present my gender, accessories or anything other than workplace skills and never perceived that I've been judged on anything other than those skills.

I think you misunderstood my post Jennifer...I was commenting on what previous posters had said regarding this. I personally do not think this way. In my field though it might be different. Women are paid the exact same as men and I feel I am treated 100% equal to men who have the same profession as I do. I was using the collective we and not speaking personally. I feel it is sad that "we" meaning women/people on PS feel this way and perhaps with good reason depending on the profession. Sorry I was unclear.

 

[Jennifer W]

Ah, got you! Sorry Missy, I did misunderstand.

 

[Laughinggravy0]

Very interesting thread. Yssie - clever woman as ever Addy and others working in the front line - thank you.

I work for a communications agency, chief journo/copywriter, and my clients are big public sector institutions. I'm about, soonish.... to go all pink and happy since there's James Meyer goodness heading my way when the time is right It's a 1.40 and will be the biggest stone I have seen in my daily life, work and social. I'll be wearing it because I'll be honoured to - both because of the man giving it to me and because of the exquisite workmanship. But also, I'm 46 and it suits me to appear as if I'm in the job because I enjoy it rather than need it.

I am aware that it will be initially a little 'noticed' by future in-laws. Bit uncomfortable about that. That and public transport.

It's totally dependent on context, I think. I can well see that wearing something someone else interprets as blingy could well have ramifications. Of course its not fair. But then hardly anything is. I'd say, if in doubt, don't and see how it goes. But I'd never not wear a wedding ring.

 

[Black Jade]

I am highly, highly qualified for what I do (teach as an adjunct) and have had NO problems with getting hired whenever I applied for a job. However, it took me years and years to notice this. My husband and others were always telling me--you will get hired, people with your qualifications do not commonly walk into the door, and still I would worry and worry about petty things, like if my clothes were exaclty appropriate, my hair, my jewelry, etc. etc It is only recenly, at over 50, that I have got comfortable and realize that I AM qualified and need to worry less.

I always wear my wedding ring, because I'd rather people knew I was married up front. However, I do choose to work for religious colleges because their attitude is so much better (supportive) about women with children. Nobody thinks I am going to have a baby now (i'm over 50) but when I was younger this was an issue at the colleges that weren't religious. Women's colleges were the worst--they were always feminist and thus NEVER supportive of women having children. I will never forget that when I got hired by the Catholic college that I still work at most often, I got pregnant immediately after being hired (not intentional). Not only did they not a problem with this, but they saved the job for me, allowing me to start a year later than planned, so that I had time to settle down with my new son. Meanwhile, my friend/colleague at the local women's college was told outright that she, a married woman, was setting a bad example for the female students by getting pregnant and that the last female professor who had gotten pregnant did it twenty years previously and had the child during winter break, inconveniencing no one. Imagine, only two women pregnant in twenty years?!!! I would not call that a supportive atmosphere. I later taught at that place for one term, and have never gone back because the females there were entirely unsupportive about anything to do with family. None of them had children, and few of them were married, which wouldn't surprise you if you met them.
I always wear things that make me look married, however I don't wear my big bling to work-- at least not my over 1 carat ring. It's not my engagement ring, so I might feel differently if it was but I got it after the economy went bad and my thinking has been to wear it in an atmosphere where people are underpaid (as adjuncts are) and worried about their livelihood is perhaps a bit tactless.
Just my 2 cents.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I wore my wedding set to interviews, but mine is modest by the standards in my field (medicine) at near the 1ct mark. Most of my classmates who are married have bigger diamonds than mine, much less the faculty physicians interviewing me! Though I'm pretty sure I'm the only one with a Van Craeynest setting, it's my small private token of luxury.

And I'm also young, and I think being married makes me seem more mature and life experienced, which is important since I'm applying into Psychiatry, lol. They are family friendly though, if I were applying into neurosurgery, I'd leave all jewelry at home.

I also talked freely about my husband since that's the reason I was only interviewing locally, and some institutions raised eyebrows at me for applying at their school since I was "over qualified", so knowing I was motivated to stay in my city because of my hubby helped me convince them that they weren't just a "safety school" for me.

 

[NovemberBride]

Here's my thought: You shouldn't be applying for jobs where people judge you based upon (what should be tasteful, anyway) jewelry.

I've interviewed (literally) hundreds of women. I have NEVER noticed, or given a hoot about their wedding rings. Period.

If you're interviewing where people are intimidated by or disdainful about wedding rings, what kind of place would that be to work in?? Stifling and soul sucking, surely.

However, since there have been oh, so many of these threads on PS over the years, I'd say a few PSers are a bit too enamored of their bling choices and ASSUME they will make the proverbial 'splash' wherever they go, decked out in their finery. No. You. Won't. The rest of the world is busy with more important matters than noticing everything about you.

And, I have to disagree with thing2 about employers wanting single women. I call BS. I was single for a l-o-n-g time. And working. I was not more respected, nor did I get better offers, as a single woman. 'Course, I wasn't working my way up the ladder at Corporate Cubicle City where all the cliches apparently apply.

I think all the cliches apply in law. And it certainly has been called soul-sucking before. But in this economy, young women who are still getting established professionally find themselves in the position of being beggars, not choosers.

Miss Stepcut, I have to disagree with you here. In my experience, law firms do not care one bit whether you are single or married, just that you are willing to do the work. I think when you are still in law school you give a lot of weight to all these various factors when interviewing (wear jewelry or not, wear skirt or pant suits, pull long hair back, etc) when in reality these things just do not matter. I think the career services people tend to focus on these things for some odd reason. For the record, I always wear jewelry, including my wedding set, never wear skirt suits because I hate pantyhose and always wear my long hair down and I have been made offers by an overwhelming majority of the places I have interviewed. FWIW, I have also done a fair amount of interviewing and in talking to others agree there are only 2 factors that matter (1) can you do the work and (2) do we want you as a colleague (i.e. how is your personality).

As to the OP, I have never considered not wearing my e-ring and wedding band to an interview. It honestly never crossed my mind and I don't see why it should unless you are in a position like some PP where it may be inconsiderate to do so (i.e. working with the homeless). I worked at large law firms and now work at a financial services company, so that does not apply in my situation.

 

[MissStepcut]

NovemberBride, at one firm, the interviewer looked at my left hand, saw it was bare, and commented on my mobility (quote was approximately, "Well I don't see a ring, so I guess you can do what you want!") and thank God for it because I had no ties to that city, and it's the only place I got any offers.