Have you ever denied an upgrade?

[NY Princess]

....Is there anyone here that hasn''t admitted to their friends that their ring is an upgrade?

You know, maybe you got a bigger diamond but never said anything about it and if friends say, "something looks different about your ring" you just say really??

 

[february2003bride]

No. My changes are noticable. A different stone, a different setting. Denying it would be quite silly! I don''t point anything out, but my friends usually notice and know they can always ask.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

When I replaced my original wedding set earlier this year I didn''t come right out and say that I got a new diamond too, but most figured it out anyways. My new setting is totally different so that was obvious.

 

[D&T]

I don''t outright tell anyone, but family members will notice and say ooooh pretty (but don''t quite know what is different) then I tell them it is a anniversary upgrade.

 

[purrfectpear]

I don''t get people who lie, I really don''t

I feel the same about people who wear fakes. Surely they had some reason why they choose moissanite or CZ. They should own up to their choice and get over it. I would never lie about something I owned.

Better a .25 worn proudly, than a 1 ct. you worried that someone would "know"

I can''t imagine going through life inwardly cringing every time someone asked about a ring I was wearing.

 

[NY Princess]

In my culture, women are discouraged from outward adorement. It is considered vanity. I was fortunate to find a wonderful man who understood and was/is willing to indulge me. My wedding rings and a pair of studs he gave me after the birth of our children are my marriage jewelry.

The earrings I can wear in private but there would be no justification for wearing them in public. The rings however, serve to identify me as married so that they are more acceptable.

We are considering an upgrade, and it would be the same exact shape as my orginal e-ring. It must be my private pleasure, my guilty secret with hubby being my partner in crime. My mother is the only other person who knows and she gets a kick out of it.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 12/4/2009 11:03:42 PM
Author: NY Princess
In my culture, women are discouraged from outward adorement. It is considered vanity. I was fortunate to find a wonderful man who understood and was/is willing to indulge me. My wedding rings and a pair of studs he gave me after the birth of our children are my marriage jewelry.


The earrings I can wear in private but there would be no justification for wearing them in public. The rings however, serve to identify me as married so that they are more acceptable.



We are considering an upgrade, and it would be the same exact shape as my orginal e-ring. It must be my private pleasure, my guilty secret with hubby being my partner in crime. My mother is the only other person who knows and she gets a kick out of it.

Something about your post has peeked my curiosity - if your husband and your mother are okay with it - why hide it? I don''t understand...

 

[D2B]

Upgrades are not common, or rather practically unheard of here in australia, so I will downplay mine, focus on the same old sidestones, etc,

Just curious, if you dont mind, what culture are you a part of , and what country do you live in now? If your DH and mother are OK, than what are the social ties that make it not oK, I am just curious. no need to answer, but your post intrigued me.

 

[vespergirl]

I have to admit that I did once. I started out with a very deep 1.64 ct asscher, and with DH''s permission, we upgraded to a 2.2 ct asscher. However, that was a "dark drop" stone, and there was one very dark step that drove me crazy. So, I went back to the jewelry store and swapped it for a 2.25 ct asscher that had an extra step, so it didn''t have the "dark drop." I didn''t tell anyone about it, and no one noticed, because the stone had the same dimensions and otherwise looked exactly the same, and it only cost a few hundred extra dollars.

After a short while, I ended up trading that one for my 2.01 ct RB with DH''s blessing, because that''s the type of diamond that he wanted to get me to begin with if he had picked out the ring on his own (he took me shopping with him & I was the one who insisted on a 1.5 ct-ish asscher).

 

[yssie]

Yes - I have!


Not so much denied, exactly - if someone asks I''ll tell them - but I don''t point out that it''s different to anyone unless they specifically notice and ask. I don''t think anyone in my extended circle would care or think poorly of it, but - why risk it?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I''ve never upgraded my eng. stone, but with my studs, the only two who questioned me about the size increase were my kids. lol Everyone else just looked but never said anything.

My kids notice everything though. . .when I wore my pendant for the first time, they recognized the size being the same as my eng. stone. They thought I had reset it into a pendant.

It''ll be interesting to see if they grow up being the type of guys who give sparklies to their girlfriends/wives.

 

[AprilBaby]

I am curious too...no condemnation, but what culture doesn''t allow jewelry in public?

 

[NY Princess]

My post raised some questions so I will try to answer while maintaining privacy.

Cehrabehra: "if your husband and your mother are okay with it - why hide it? I don''t understand..." My hubby and Mom are but one part of the equation. I have my father, brothers, their families, my friends, etc.. I was raised in an ultra religious and ultra conservative environment. That is my community. I don''t hide, I just don''t discuss it.

D2B: "what country do you live in now?" I was born and raised in New York City, hence NY Princess.

"what are the social ties that make it not oK" The community that I am a part of. Don''t get me wrong, I love it and our traditions give me a sense of purpose and place but there is this unspoken thing with outward adornement. It''s not like anything is forbidden but rather discouraged. Like my inner beauty should be the thing that catches peoples attention, not the diamond studs in my ears

AprilBaby: "what culture doesn''t allow jewelry in public?" It''s not that it is forbidden but instead that as a woman, young or older, your inner beauty should speak louder than the sparklies that might distract someone. LOL. I guess I''m not quite there yet!

The funny thing is that I know it probably sounds so different in writing but I guarantee that if you knew me or worked with me you would never think that there was anything "different" about me. I wear regular clothes, don''t wear jewelry except for my wedding rings and I''m pretty average. I might even say nerdy (in a very empowering, I own it~ sort of way).

Anyhow, just thought I''d put the question out there to see if there was anyone else who might not admit to an upgrade and what their reasons might be. The ones outlined above are mine. For better or worse....