Who Gwendolyn, can we hear more about you?

[ladypirate]

 

[gwendolyn]

Sure!

Wha? You wanted more?

 

[gwendolyn]

Um, ok, a few things in no particular order:

I got a job offer today to combine my two loves: music and teaching students with special needs. SO excited about that!

After 3.5+ years of international long-distance and regular old in-the-same-country-but-still-200-miles-apart long distance, my boyfriend and I are finally moving in together in a couple of months!

I am currently completing a master''s degree at Cambridge and it might kill me.

I''d like to get a hedgehog.

I''m currently on a restricted diet and I haven''t had any chocolate in almost a month. Booooo.

I make a KILLER mint chocolate chip cheesecake.

''Adagio for Strings'' by Samuel Barber can pull my heartstrings and make my cry even on the happiest of days.

I have a pair of pig slippers.

I hate sharing a kitchen with strangers.




El fin (for now).

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Gwen!! Congrats on the job offer and I''m so excited to hear how the move goes. Do you guys know where you''ll be living?

I love all the other tidbits of info. about you as well! What will you name you hedgehog??

 

[iwannaprettyone]

i had a hedghog and a turtle growing up....finn and huck lol

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/20/2008 3:40:11 PM
Author: gwendolyn
Sure!

Wha? You wanted more?

LOL! I think it ate the rest of my post--I know I wrote more when I originally posted this...

How about: If you could only bring one instrument to a deserted island with you, what would it be and why?

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 6/20/2008 3:45:21 PM
Author: gwendolyn
Um, ok, a few things in no particular order:


I got a job offer today to combine my two loves: music and teaching students with special needs. SO excited about that!

After 3.5+ years of international long-distance and regular old in-the-same-country-but-still-200-miles-apart long distance, my boyfriend and I are finally moving in together in a couple of months!


I am currently completing a master''s degree at Cambridge and it might kill me.


I''d like to get a hedgehog.


I''m currently on a restricted diet and I haven''t had any chocolate in almost a month. Booooo.


I make a KILLER mint chocolate chip cheesecake.


''Adagio for Strings'' by Samuel Barber can pull my heartstrings and make my cry even on the happiest of days.


I have a pair of pig slippers.


I hate sharing a kitchen with strangers.





El fin (for now).

Me too!!! It drives me up the wall.

You are lovely, my dear--I''m so glad that the moderators approved my post (although apparently not what was in it???) I think it said something about how I know you have a very sweet boyfriend and are studying in England, but would like to know more about your life story.

 

[FrekeChild]

Whats your favorite ice cream?

 

[sunnyd]

And what is the recipe for this cheesecake?

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Favorite bands, movies?

 

[gwendolyn]

NEL: Thank you so much for the congrats, darlin''! I am seriously SO excited about it! It''s really as close to the perfect job for me as I think exists anywhere, so I''m positively thrilled that they want me! The school is in NW London, so J and I will be looking for places near there. It''s near the outskirts of London which is GREAT for me because I am not a city girl. We are hoping to find a small apartment to have as our own--no more shared housing!

We''ve been talking about what we''d name the hedgehog--J''s got a few cute ideas (although strangely I can''t think of them at the moment so I will have to tell you later when my brain wakes up

).

iwanna: hahah, I love the names of your hedgehog and turtle! Very cute.

Lessee...favourite bands/artists would be all over the map: Tori Amos, Billy Joel, The White Stripes, The Cure, Pink Floyd, Spiderbait, John Mayer, the Indigo Girls, anything Yo-Yo Ma plays--I could go on and on! Favourite movies would be Everything Is Illuminated, Grosse Point Blank, Office Space, The Princess Bride, Pay It Forward, Suicide Kings, The Fugitive, Bridget Jones...I think that''s most of them..maybe?

LP: hehe, oh, I''m sorry your post got eaten! I thought you just figured the title was enough.

Hmm, to answer your instrument question, I think I would bring a marimba. It''s my favourite instrument to play--extremely relaxing (which would come in handy if I was stranded on the desert island and not merely there for vacation), and since it''s made out of rosewood, if I had to, I might be able to make a raft out of it to sail away to safety!

Thank you very much for starting this thread. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Freke: Mmm, favourite ice cream is EITHER mint chocolate chip or Ben & Jerry''s Oatmeal Cookie Chunk...or possible Chubby Hubby. One of those.

sunnyd: Let me find the recipe! It is seriously delish--if you are a mint lover, you MUST try it! Yummmmmmmmeh.

There''s a coffee version as well, if you''d like that even better...

 

[gwendolyn]

Cheesecake recipe: my incredibly rich mint (or coffee) cheesecake

Preheat oven to 325 degrees

Ingredients:

Crust:
2 cups chocolate cookie crumbs
1/4 stick melted butter
1/2 tsp. cinnamon (or you could substitute instant coffee granules for the coffee one, they taste nice)

Combine ingredients and press into the side of your greased and floured spring form pan. Set aside or put in refrigerator, then make the filling.

Filling:
2 lbs. cream cheese
1 1/2 c. sugar
4 eggs (if doing the coffee cheesecake, there''s a bit more liquid in the mix, so an additional egg might be needed to hold it together better--it still tastes lovely with 4, but it falls apart easier)
1/4 c. Creme de menthe for mint flavor (or substitute Kahlua for coffee flavour)
1/4 tsp. peppermint extract (or substitute 2 Tbs. instant coffee granules for coffee flavour)
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips (or more--mini ones work best)
1 c. heavy cream (or mix coffee into it for a total of 1 cup for coffee flavour)

Cream cream cheese and sugar together until smooth (using mixer).
Add eggs one at a time and beat until smooth and creamy looking.
Mix in the rest of the ingredients, adding about half of the chips by hand.
Bake 50 minutes and turn off the oven without opening the door.
Let cool in the oven for one hour. After removing it from the oven, sprinkle the remaining chocolate chips on the top. Refrigerate for several hours (preferably overnight) before serving.

I used to bring this cheesecake to parties a lot, and it was so popular one year that, for Christmas, all my friends just wanted me to make them cheesecakes for their gifts, so I made about a dozen and then delivered them on Christmas Eve to everyone. I was VERY popular that year.

 

[gwendolyn]

Was typing this earlier and then got distracted...

Some background....



My real name is Kristin. Not that anyone here in England apart from James (the infamous J) can manage to pronounce it correctly. I am either Kristine, or Kirstin, or Christian, or occasionally Kristina. Nevvvvvvver Kristin. So I basically answer to anything now.

I am the eldest of three. My two younger siblings are both brothers: Mike, who''s 3 years younger than me, married with a son with moderate autism, and Matt, who just graduate from college last month. I am very proud of both of them, even though when we were kids I tortured them regularly, as any big sister would.

We grew up in New Jersey--different parts, moving ever 4 or 5 years, due to my dad''s work (he was a computer systems analyst which I think has to do with computer security for a telephone company). I lived in Paterson, where I was born, and where I had a sled stolen twice when I was 3! And Middlesex, which was the perfect, most peaceful and lovely place to grow up, and Toms River, which was near the ocean and close to quite a few family members. When I was about 13, we moved to Maryland, which is where I have spent the majority of the rest of my life. I am still friends with quite a few friends that I met that first year in the state--they are like family now. I love them all to bits.

Music has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I started teaching piano lessons at 16, percussion lessons and ensembles at 19, and never stopped until this year when I had to put it on pause for my degree. Almost half my life!

In 2000, I lived in Australia for six months. It was the main turning point in my life because I''d wanted to go since I was 11 or 12 (I was nominated for some academic trip there but it cost too much so my parents said no), and everyone always told me I would never get there. It was an amazing experience--I lived in Sandy Bay, a small suburb of Hobart in Tasmania (go on and laugh, Aussies, I love it there!

), and had the most amazing experiences. Taught a few music lessons in local primary schools, performed with an aboriginal percussion ensemble, visited old penal settlements, made amazing friends I still talk to now--it was incredible.

A couple of years ago, I decided I wanted to branch out a bit from music due to the downsizing of music and arts department in Maryland (and other places in the US as well) and make myself a bit less expendable, so I took a large pay cut and decided to work as a teaching assistant in special needs to make sure I wanted to get my master''s in it. I absolutely loved it, and then applied to universities in England. Again, lots of nay-sayers said that going to uni in England was extravagant and wasteful and I shouldn''t do it, but then I got into Cambridge, and all the nay-saying stopped! I am in the process of finishing my degree by writing a thesis on teacher perceptions of inclusive education, and will submit it sometime in mid-July (my supervisor wants it done by the 6th but it''s not technically due until the 14th). Starting September 1st, I will be working for a school in NW London, combining my two loves: music and special needs. My boyfriend and I will be getting an apartment and living together for the first time, and I am thrilled to finally get to come home to him every night, and not have to worry about the countdown clock in my head for when we will have to say goodbye (since we''ve been long-distance this whole time).

There are some sordid tales I''ve left out for now, but I figured I''d start with the happy stuff first...

 

[miraclesrule]

Wow, you have a very adventuous spirit.

Cambridge...woohoooo, you go girl. My sister works with special Ed. It has been as rewarding for her as it is challenging. I can''t wait to hear more of your story, especially the sordid details.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 6/21/2008 8:18:07 PM
Author: miraclesrule
Wow, you have a very adventuous spirit.

Cambridge...woohoooo, you go girl. My sister works with special Ed. It has been as rewarding for her as it is challenging. I can''t wait to hear more of your story, especially the sordid details.

Aye, it is a very challenging job, but I can''t think of anything more rewarding than that "aha!" moment my kids get when they really understand a concept. With students with more severe conditions, the reward is even greater, since sadly so many people (including parents and teachers, it''s so sad) just give up on them. I am sure I will have to work my butt off, but I think it will be great.

The rest of my story is really not much fun (until we get to J

).

A couple of people noted in another thread that I look like the sort of person that people spill their guts to. It is true. When I was 16, I had three people come to me to tell me that they were suicidal and that the only person they were going to tell was me. One of them was my boyfriend at the time (KG), one was my best friend at the time (M) and one of them was a good friend who later became my best friend (KS). There was a fourth, my brother Mike, but he didn''t talk much. Just said a couple of odd things now and then, talking like he wouldn''t be around for long, told me where he kept things in his room that I liked--that sort of thing. His best friend (D) and I talked one afternoon about his weird behaviours and D said he was thinking about going to the counselor at school. I said he should and that I''d go with him if he needed. It''s a good thing we did, because they found a straight-edge razor in his locker at school, and when confronted about it, he''d said he was planning on slitting his wrists in the bathroom the following week.

In hindsight, I realize my brother is the only one who was ever in any real danger at the time, but the other three constantly kept pulling me in different directions to take care of them. I had to drop everything at a moment''s notice to talk them out of taking a whole bottle of pills or cutting themselves. It was like getting a crash course in psychology, at 16. This went on for about a year. It was easily the worst year of my life. I was drained the entire time. I had no energy left for myself (and no self-esteem because I couldn''t help them). I kept trying to convince them to get professional help, but they would threaten to "go through with it" if I did, and I was only 16, so I didn''t really believe that they wouldn''t do it, so I believed them. My best friend at the time, M, went so far as to write a suicide note blaming her brother and me for her death. Her brother had been hit by a car a few months before--he was ok, but he broke both his legs and received lots of attention and sympathy, and M was insanely jealous. She felt like everyone stopped caring about her when he had his accident, and her answer was to plan to kill herself. She never did. Once she showed me the letter she had written, I told her parents what she was doing and where they could find the letter and that she knew where her father kept his gun. She never spoke to me again, but I know she graduated high school and ended up going to college in Florida somewhere, so she didn''t kill herself.

The other friend eventually coped with her situation and got professional help. My boyfriend at the time, K, refused to do the same. I stayed with him off and on for a total of 5 years, and I still remember breaking up with him. I was terrified he would go through with his threats, but I told him that I couldn''t stay with him any longer because I couldn''t do anything for him and should have left years ago. I told him I still loved him and wanted him to be well again, and that in order to do that, we needed to be apart, because when I was around he just leaned on me and never did anything for himself. It was so hard. Eventually, though, a couple of years later, he found me again and apologized for everything--his depression, his selfishness, the fact that I gave up everything for him and he only kept taking from me. It felt wonderful to hear him sound healthy and in control of his life! Almost our entire relationship had been shrouded in his depression, so it was great to hear him sound like his old self again. For a while he wanted to get back together, but I couldn''t. We are friends now, although he lives far away. We usually get together for lunch when he visits his family at Christmastime, which is nice.

My mother also has some emotional problems. She has been diagnosed with chronic depression and manic depression/bipolar disorder at different times in her life, although I think generally the bipolar diagnosis is more accurate. As the eldest child and only daughter, she focused her extreme irritations and emotional outbursts at me. I was constantly blamed and punished for things that had nothing to do with me (ie: I''d walk into the kitchen as my mother was putting away the dishes and she''d drop one and it''d break, I''d be grounded for a month), and she would leave me stranded at school for 5 hours after she''d say she would pick me up because she wanted to "teach me a lesson." I thought about running away when I was 17 when she''d had an especially bad day--I remember that she left me in the car with the keys in the ignition and I just stared at them thinking, "I could escape this craziness. I could drive away and start a new life." And then I realized that I had $200 in my savings account and that my mother would report the car as stolen and I''d probably end up in jail, so I didn''t...but those few minutes she was gone seemed to drag on forever as I weighed my options.

Moving out helped matters, obviously, but even now there are still some difficulties. She swings from one extreme to the other about me living in another country, and is still exceedingly irrational about blaming me for things over which I either have no control or that have nothing at all to do with me. Sometimes she is bursting with pride over the fact that I am at Cambridge, and other times she is yelling in my face about what a waste of life I am because all I do is think of myself and spend money to go on "extravagant trips to Europe" (in other words, sometimes she talks like this degree is just a vacation). I used to try to argue with her by showing her the lack of logic in what she says, but this only ever made things worse. My dad never, ever used to stand up for me either, which always made me feel like maybe I was doing something wrong. This past year, however, things have changed. When I was home in December and again in April and she had some incidents with me, he comforted me and told my mom she was being unreasonable. Considering how long I was left to handle it alone, I consider it pretty big progress.

The last thing that probably most shaped who I am now is the boyfriend that I had before J. His name was B, and he and I dated about 5 years ago. We met through a mutual friend and hit it off immediately. We spent tons of time together, and I was afraid I''d scare him off, so I was calm and cool and let him come to me. He did. We lived a 20-minute drive apart and I was working multiple jobs (so I could afford to live away from home), and we still saw each other 4 or 5 times a week. He hired me to teach percussion at his school (which I was hesitant about in case we broke up but it was a GREAT resume booster). He met all my friends, I met all his friends. He would tell me how he could see him spending his life with me, and how happy I made him, and that I didn''t need to think about going to college overseas because maybe everything I wanted in life was right in front of me.

Sounds like it was promising, yes? He told me, after I had just paid to take him out to a nice restaurant for his birthday, that he had been cheating on me for the past two months with a friend and former student of mine (she was 3 years younger than me--I taught students close to my age, so he wasn''t a pedophile). He said it was just for sex (as if that would make me feel better?), since she lived 400 miles away. He said he couldn''t help it, because she was so sexy. I remember the ice-cold wave of shock that ran through me as I was putting my wallet away from leaving the tip (bastard let ME PAY and then told me that he was cheating!) and my hands shook. We were in public, so I didn''t want to cry. I just stared ahead for a bit (no idea how long) and then said, "Ok, be seeing you" and walked out of the restaurant (thankfully we''d met there, so I had my own car). I broke down and cried so hard that I had to pull over a few times on the drive home, I couldn''t see the road through my tears. He tried calling me 5 or 6 times that evening. I ignored him for a while, then picked up to ask what else he could possibly want. He said, "Be angry with me! Yell at me! Scream! You have every right! Be pissed at me!" I said, "You told me so you''d stop feeling guilty, and now you feel worse." He said nothing, so I said, "I have nothing else to say to you" and I hung up. I cried daily for weeks. Never thought I''d ever be able to fall in love again because I felt hollow, dead, empty inside. A couple of months later, we were back to working together. Can you say AWKWARD? I stayed through the end of the year and then resigned.

 

[gwendolyn]

So, I had all that emotional baggage when James (the infamous J

) and I met. We found each other online through another message board and started chatting because I was looking at going to uni in England and he was from England, so I thought he could maybe give me some inside info. We talking online via an instant messenger thing, and through emails, and after a couple of days, we ended up talking for hours and hours. After I stopped working 7 days a week, I had Sundays off, and J and I would spend 12 or 14 hours just chatting about nothing (online, because it was free). I started to develop feelings for him, but thought I was crazy. He lived in England, over 3000 miles away! Plus he was an internet person, and we all know how scary they can be (she says to an internet board

). AND he was younger than me. Three strikes, he''s out! Or should''ve been, according to the silly rules I''d made for myself. We just kept talking, and my feelings got stronger. He offered to fly out to meet me, but I said no. I was afraid he''d be disappointed when he met me, that he might not find me attractive, and that he''d feel like he wasted his money, and I didn''t want that. He''d seen my photos and had said I was beautiful and that he wasn''t at all worried about the things I was worried about, but I was stubborn and said no. Plus I didn''t want to freak out and get scared at the last minute and tell him not to come. So I said instead that I would go to him.

I have a dear friend who lives in Ireland, and I wanted to check out England for universities anyway, and I could meet J as part of that plan. So I bought my ticket and planned to spent 4 days in Ireland with my friend and a weekend in England to check things out and meet J at a pub one evening or something. My friend was excited until a wedding she was in got rescheduled and she found out she would be away when I was visiting. So I told J and he said, "Does this mean I get you for longer? Sounds good to me!" He met me at the train station with a small teddy bear that doubles as a hot water bottle (I''d told him I was feeling crampy the day before

) and kissed me on the cheek. I had told him previously that I''d never really met anyone from the internet before (only one other time and it was a creeeeepy experience), so I had no idea how long it would take for me to get comfortable around him. It didn''t take long; we had our first kiss about an hour and a half after he met me at the station (if I hadn''t insisted on taking a shower as soon as we got to his place, it probably would''ve been sooner), and since we''d talked for so long (over a year) before meeting, it was like we knew each other for ages (since we sort of did). We got Chinese food, cuddled on the couch, and had a perfect evening.

I remember laying down in bed next to him for the first time that night and there was so much electricity that I couldn''t sleep. After an hour of just laying there pretending to sleep, he whispered, "You still awake?" I said, "Yeah, I can''t sleep." He said, "Me either." And then we snuggled s''more and did things I''m not allowed to talk about on here.

What''s the most noteworthy about our first meeting is that the airline I was with (AerLingus) lost my bag. They were AWFUL with getting back to me about it--were constantly rude on the phone, like it was more of a hassle for them to look up my baggage info than it was for me to be in another country with no clothes. I had painstakingly packed my favourite items of clothing so I could knock J back onto his heels as best I could, and all those clothes were lost! Here I was, trying to make the best impression I could, and I had only one outfit, the nasty, smelly one I''d worn for 36 hours straight while traveling all over creation (from DC to Shannon to Liverpool and then the train from Liverpool to where J lives). I felt frustrated and angry that AerLingus wasn''t helping more (later turns out the bag was there at Shannon Airport but they couldn''t be arsed to send it to England and up to me, so I didn''t get it until a couple of days after I had returned to the US). But J was calm about everything. Told me I was beautiful constantly. Offered to buy me new clothes. He was just so sweet and wonderful about it all that I ended up not being too fussed because he didn''t seem to need me to dress up in my best clothes to impress him. He already thought I was lovely.

He''s still like that now. He tells me how gorgeous I am when my hair is a mess, I''ve got no make-up on and I''m wearing pj pants and an old t-shirt. I love it. I think he''s bonkers, but I love it, and I love him to bits.

 

[Skippy123]

You and J sound adorable together!!! Yay for the job! Love that your passion is music! Great story

 

[Skippy123]

Oh btw, I love Ben & Jerry''s Oatmeal Cookie Chunk. Are you eating lots of fish n chips??? I love fish n chips w/malted vinegar, yum!!! I also love Harrod''s, I loved eating in the Food area and looking at their many floors of shopping! We spent hours there! How fun to be in England

 

[Rhea]

I haven''t caught up on this thread but wanted to tell you Congratulations on your job!!!

 

[sunnyd]

Mmmm that cheesecake (both versions) sounds delicious!!

Next time I''m feeling like baking, that''s it! Thanks Gwen!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 6/22/2008 1:11:57 PM
Author: Addy
I haven''t caught up on this thread but wanted to tell you Congratulations on your job!!!

Thank you, my dear!!

Yeah, I know it''s long--I actually might have to pass out some awards to the people who actually take the time to read all the sad stuff. Not fun, and not concise!

sunnyd: Yay, I''m glad you like the sound of my cheesecake! Don''t be alarmed if, when you make it, the mixture basically goes to the very top of the cheesecake pan. It''s supposed to; it''s a very tall cake--about 3.5" I think? Maybe 4"? I''ve never measured it, but people always oooh and ahhh over the face that it''s twice as big (as in tall) as normal cheesecakes.

Anyway, I have a couple of pictures. Here''s me at about 4 years old (maybe?) with my baby brudder, Mikey-pooh-pooh (he loves it when I call him that, really

).

 

[gwendolyn]

Here is me a little older. I was a brownie when I was a kid, and this is me marching in a neighbourhood parade. That''s me, righ tin the middle.

 

[gwendolyn]

And again in a parade (weird!), this time as the Statue of Liberty. I think she was celebrating her 200th birthday that year or something (I''d say that would date me, but I think I already mentioned that I''m 30, so whatev

).

 

[gwendolyn]

Oh, meant to say I''m in the middle in that pic again, at the back though. Can''t edit in here!

This is a more recent pic.

I took this in December, when I was visiting home after my first term at Cam. It was my first full day at home, and it snowed! So beautiful. I had to show J, since he loves snow and it doesn''t happen often, so I took a bunch of photos of it (and me) for him. That''s the backyard of my parents'' house in Maryland that they''re currently selling.

 

[jcrow]

fantastic read.

so fun getting to know you!

 

[Harriet]

Ah, one of my favourite posters finally has her own thread! Congratters on everything, Gwendolyn dear!

 

[gwendolyn]

jcrow: Thank you so much! (Did you actually read it all?! Hahah, no way!

)

Harriet: Ahhh, I am basking in the love I get for hooking you up with M&S biscuits!

One more picture (for now)! One of James and me when we were visiting Warwick Castle back in March (this day trip was part of a series of post-birthday outings). I am grinning like an idiot because we had been laughing for the past five minutes of how we could steal the trebuchet behind us and (slowly) take over the world.

 

[Harriet]

Nah. Your sweetness has nothing to do with bikkies.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

How cute are you both?!!! Lovely.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Aw Gwen I just saw this! I am sorry you''ve had some rough times growing up, but I am so proud of you for always making the best of things and taking a chance on new opportunities and ignoring naysayers. Can''t ever let them stop you! Moreover, I don''t think I had ever heard your story on how you met J before, or I had forgotten it, not sure. But either way, so romantic!! You two are so cute, I cannot wait to hear about the new place! Are y''all going to live in the US or England after you get married or is that still up in the air? Oh and congrats on the job offer!!!