Wedding Guest of wedding dress etiquette - please help!

[Cyren]

I rarely ever post but I need help from you etiquette experts and it''s brought me out of lurkdom. Ok, I''m attending a wedding in a couple of weeks--important I make the right impression, these are my boyfriend''s oldest friends and I''m meeting them for the first time, plus his entire family. Let''s just say I''m worried about making the right impression. I''m also in a bit of a budget crunch.

Here''s my question: I currently own a pair of what I would call "winter white" slacks from BeBe (they''re a sateen, slight sheen, good drape) and I''m wondering if I can wear them to the wedding with a flowery, pretty summer top and a throw sweater for the evening (wedding is in Whistler, BC). I know the standard is no white on women at a wedding, but if it''s pants is that ok? My boyfriend doesn''t seem to understand why I''m so concerned about this, but it''s not like he''s meeting all these people for the first time. He also doesn''t know how much time I spend on PS reading about etiquette!

So, keep the pants? Ditch the pants and scrounge a skirt out of the back of the closet? Rob a bank and buy a pretty summer wedding appropriate dress and tell myself I''ll use it a bunch?

Help! And thank you!

Cyren

 

[neatfreak]

I personally probably wouldn''t wear the white pants, but that is just me. If it is really important to you to make a good impression on these people then I wouldn''t do anything that could potentially offend them (even though I think if they were offended that would be weird...I digress). Anyway, why take a chance right?

Do you have any budget to buy a dress? There are many pretty dresses at places like Target, TJMaxx etc. that wouldn''t cost you an arm and a leg but would ensure that you are dressed appropriately.

 

[trillionaire]

Hi!

I understand the financial crunch, do you have any thoughts on an emergency budget? I was wondering because I JUST finished shopping for a dress to go to my SO''s brother''s wedding, so I COMPLETELY understand needing to make the right impression. EVERYTHING seems to be on sale right now, as stores are preparing to bring in their fall merchandise. Even if you can only muster $50-100, you might have a LOT of options. I saw a number of cute dresses in Limited, Express, White House Black Market, J. Crew, Benetton, Banana Republic, etc... There is clearance EVERYWHERE! I don''t know your age, or if you are in The States, but you do have options. Nordstrom''s should be starting their anniversary sale soon too. I do err on the side of wearing a dress to a wedding, but you would know best how formal or informal people will be dressing.

Good Luck!

 

[Cyren]

Trillionaire--I''ve considered an emergency budget, and could probably muster $100 or so. I like to err on the side of dresses for weddings myself, and truly, since I DON''T know how formal this event is, or what kind of expectations the bride and groom have for dress beyond "I dunno, semi-formal?" meaning I think that guys should probably wear ties but some won''t, jackets will go on only once it gets cooler, and girls aren''t expected to wear something floor length. My BF''s invite was lost (or never sent, it''s hard to tell) and the emailed version is unreadable. Meaning, I don''t have any other clues, and BF is helpless in this regard (men!). Guess it''s looking like a shopping trip is in order.


Neatfreak--thanks, my concern over wearing the pants should probably be an indication that I should wear them. I was just hoping the PS ladies would give me a pass and I wouldn''t have to go shopping!

Cyren

 

[Cyren]

Should add, I''m in the US with BF, I''m 26, BF and fam are Canadian, fam live in Vancouver/vicinity.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/12/2008 3:19:32 PM
Author: Cyren
Should add, I'm in the US with BF, I'm 26, BF and fam are Canadian, fam live in Vancouver/vicinity.

Express had racks of dress for $50 or less when I was in there I really think if you go to the mall, you will find something affordable. I spent WAY more than I wanted to because there were so many sales and great deals, I went a little hog wild!

J. Crew is also having their Final Sale, so if you know your size, you can get a great dress for very reasonable. When I was in-store, all of the clearance items were an additional 25% off, and the $168 dress that I was looking for was $75!

You are sure to find something summery and affordable, this is the BEST time of year to be buying!

ETA:

This is the dress that purchased

 

[swingirl]

I don''t think white slacks are dressy enough for a wedding. If you are unsure about what the family standard is for formality at this wedding, and you are meeting his family for the first time, I would stay more conservative with a dress or skirt. My guess is in LA it might be okay but in BC it would not.

I think you could find a dress for under $100. It is considered the end of the summer season, fashion-wise.

 

[Munchkin]

I personally wouldn''t wear the pants. I generally don''t wear pants to weddings, and I wouldn''t risk being ''that girl'' who wore white when you are first meeting these people.

A few months ago, I had a dress catastrophe before a destination wedding. A seamstress that coworkers raved about BUTCHERED my brand new, $300 dress. Another seamstress could have repaired some of the damage, but I didn''t have time. I found a fantastic party dress at Target of all places! Isaac Mizrahi (sp?) has some great cocktail dresses. IMO, a cocktail dress is always a safe way to go for a wedding. To be frank, I have snobbish tastes with regard to clothing. I was impressed with the quality. The dress was fully lined and even had shoulder snaps to hold a bra in place.

For further clues regarding attire, what time of day is the wedding? Do you at least know if it is inside or outside? Hotel/restaurant/country club/backyard?

 

[FacetFire]

I second the Target recommendation, and also White House Black Market has some great sale deals. I'd order something like one of these:

http://www.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/browse/product.jsp?pageId=1&viewAll=&subCatId=&productId=300110944&inSeam=&posId=5&catId=cat210002&onSale=true&colorFamily=&maxPg=2

http://www.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/browse/product.jsp?pageId=1&viewAll=&subCatId=&productId=300110636&inSeam=&posId=7&catId=cat210002&onSale=true&colorFamily=&maxPg=2

http://www.target.com/Isaac-Mizrahi-Target-Jersey-Halter/dp/B0011WC5B8/qid=1215902034/ref=br_1_2/602-4400729-5903849?ie=UTF8&node=16434581&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1

http://www.target.com/Isaac-Mizrahi-Target-Taffeta-Couture/dp/B000ZBH42Q/qid=1215902087/ref=br_1_8/602-4400729-5903849?ie=UTF8&node=16434581&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1

They all look like great deals for the money.

Or, alternatively, do you have a friend that you can borrow something from?

 

[surfgirl]

The best way to get people snarking on you is to wear white of any kind to a wedding, so just dont, do yourself a favor! Plenty of options for cheap dresses right now with all the summer sales...

 

[waterlilly]

Not sure where you are, but I was at a JCPenny last weekend and they were having a MAJOR dress sale - tons of summer dress styles under $50. Some were even $19.99. Go check out your local department stores and you should be able to find something - even just a skirt to match with the top you were talking about.