Wedding Giving BM''s gift to non-BM

[calidaisy]

i'm not sure how to articulate this but here's the situation.
one of my BM is flying in from OOT while the other BM (she lives close by) is preoccupied with things in life other than my wedding.

i'm an anti-bride and it doesn't bother me that my BMs aren't all that involved with my wedding planning. i initially did not want a bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc. and just wanted the BMs to show up at the wedding. however, my other friends who are not in the wedding were adamant about throwing me a bridal shower so i ended up having one (which i'm grateful for). i also realized that these other friends are the ones who are helping me with random wedding planning stuff as well.

so, my question is: can i give what i was planning to give to my BMs ($100 gift cert per person) to my other friends? or should i give them all (other friends and BMs) a thank you gift?

for my BMs, i'm paying for their dress, hair and make-up, as well as their hotel (2-3 nights; the one who lives close by wanted to stay at the hotel for convenience reasons).

i'm fine with the fact that my BMs are not very involved with my wedding planning but since i have a limited budget, i wasn't sure whether i can thank my other friends with the gift budget i had for my BMs or if BM gift is something that is customary/ expected and i should not skip. what do you think?

 

[neatfreak]

Why can''t you split the difference and give everyone slightly smaller gifts? I think you should give your BM''s gifts, but I in no way think they need to be $100 gifts!! And if your other friends have been so kind throughout this process, it would be a very nice gesture to thank them with a small gift.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I think you should get them gifts.. At least hostess gifts for your shower. My mom recently hosted a bridal shower and the bride gave her a gorgeous platter that matches everything in her kitchen.

 

[Sabine]

I think you should still give the bridesmaids something small and personal (maybe a framed picture with both of you in it), and do something like the gc for the local girls who helped you out.

 

[pocahontas]

Date: 8/26/2008 7:25:00 PM
Author: neatfreak
Why can''t you split the difference and give everyone slightly smaller gifts? I think you should give your BM''s gifts, but I in no way think they need to be $100 gifts!! And if your other friends have been so kind throughout this process, it would be a very nice gesture to thank them with a small gift.

Agreed!

 

[swingirl]

A thank you is in order for everyone who helped you. You are paying a lot of the expenses of your BMs. Dress, hotel, and extras. That''s a lot! Their thank you should be a small token of your appreciation (and a memento of the day), $100 gift card is too much in my opinion.

For your other friends who helped a thank you and gift (different from the BMs) is in order.

I have planned 2 showers and never expected anything in return other than a written thank you. It seems times have changed and there is a lot of gifting going around. I never got my parents or in-laws gifts nor my husband. We were our gifts to eachother!!