alli_esq
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2008
- Messages
- 909
Date: 9/3/2008 2:05:52 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
If I were to give back the ring, FI would take it and not give it back and I wouldn''t want it back. We don''t play those games. Ultimatums are scary things girls. You had better be prepared for both outcomes if you put an ultimatum on the table.
I agree...if the ring is given back ...it should be in the final break up...if he breaks up then the ring is hers unless its a family heirloom...if she breaks up it goes to him...its proper ettiquiet(sp) and in some states...the law because the ring exchange is viewed as a contract that has been entered into by two people.Date: 9/3/2008 2:14:16 PM
Author: mimzy
Date: 9/3/2008 2:05:52 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
If I were to give back the ring, FI would take it and not give it back and I wouldn''t want it back. We don''t play those games. Ultimatums are scary things girls. You had better be prepared for both outcomes if you put an ultimatum on the table.
ditto ditto ditto. if a girl intends to marry someone they should NOT give the ring back under the assumption that she''ll get it back eventually. the ring should only be given back when a decision to break up the relationship has been finalized and/or when both people agree that they are no longer engaged. now, if you are unhappy and want to end the relationship, obviously back it goes. but to give it back in hopes that someone would ''shape up'' so to speak is ridiculous.
it''s not just some pawn or token. to use it as a scare tactic is extremely immature (i hate that word but i''ll use it here!). a commitment to marry someone should never be used as leverage in getting what you want!
omg, seriously, just pray for me that I don''t have to take it again! (I know DF is!!!)Date: 9/3/2008 3:59:52 PM
Author: littlelysser
I''ve never done it... A family member of mine did, and well, they are divorced now.
Allie - of course, I wasn''t studying for the bar when I was dating DH...the bar makes people do scarrrrrrrrry things!!!
I hear ya, I do. Hey, my parents used to fight like dogs when we were kids, but they''ve stayed married for over 40 years...and although they''ve had their fair share of upset, they are both happy they''ve stuck with it. I''m sure I learned a lot of my bad fighting behavior from them, and I''m trying to break myself. But man, it''s hard to teach an old dog new tricks...nonetheless, I don''t think I''m un-marriable, even though I don''t always act the way I know I should have in retrospect.Date: 9/3/2008 4:00:14 PM
Author: marchswallowbird
Alli, my reply was based on an ssumption that this behavior is not a one-time deal. Perhaps it is. But to me it seems indicative of deeper-set behaviors that can damage trust, hurt others deeply, and over time, erode a marriage. Of course couples will get angry and go through rough times. It is all in how you deal with it. Hopefully most couples WILL be able to work through their issues and move on, as you and your fiancee have done. But not everyone learns from their mistakes.
Of course not alli...who ever acts the way they should all the time? I am sure all of us at one time or another have not acted the best way out of anger.Date: 9/3/2008 4:09:15 PM
Author: alli_esq
I hear ya, I do. Hey, my parents used to fight like dogs when we were kids, but they''ve stayed married for over 40 years...and although they''ve had their fair share of upset, they are both happy they''ve stuck with it. I''m sure I learned a lot of my bad fighting behavior from them, and I''m trying to break myself. But man, it''s hard to teach an old dog new tricks...nonetheless, I don''t think I''m un-marriable, even though I don''t always act the way I know I should have in retrospect.Date: 9/3/2008 4:00:14 PM
Author: marchswallowbird
Alli, my reply was based on an ssumption that this behavior is not a one-time deal. Perhaps it is. But to me it seems indicative of deeper-set behaviors that can damage trust, hurt others deeply, and over time, erode a marriage. Of course couples will get angry and go through rough times. It is all in how you deal with it. Hopefully most couples WILL be able to work through their issues and move on, as you and your fiancee have done. But not everyone learns from their mistakes.