getting into CC debt on Christmas gifts?

[Dancing Fire]

let say a friend is buying me a Christmas gift, in return am i obligated to buy him/her a gift? what if i couldn't afford it w/o getting into CC debt? what should i do?...

 

[MichelleCarmen]

There is much generosity in baking cookies or other treats and making a card... you do that!

And, time is said to be extremely valuable these days...so giving up TIME to make something for someone shows you care.

 

[rainydaze]

Oh goodness, no!

What you describe is not what gift-giving is about in my book, so again, no! As for what you should do, simple - something heartfelt that is within your means. Some of most emotionally meaningful gifts I have received were cards!

 

[rubybeth]

I kind of keep track from year to year whether someone has given me a gift in the previous year and whether or not they are likely to give another gift. If it is likely, then I will make sure I have something for them. DH and I tend to give thoughtful gifts vs. monetarily valuable ones. This year, we have purchased a few books we know the receivers will enjoy (like coffee table with beautiful photos of something they love, or a cookbook in their favorite style of cooking) and games we know they don't own but will love (esp. two-player games that are easy to learn... and we love receiving these, too!). We've also given people bottles of wine or homemade candy/cookies.

I don't think you should ever feel 'obligated' to buy someone a gift, especially if you cannot afford it. Your true friends will understand not being able to afford lavish gifts. In fact, for one close friend, in the last few years we have gotten presents for her kids instead of presents for her, with absolutely no expectation of anything in return, and that has worked well. I just ask what LEGO, Playmobil, etc. things they want this year and get them exactly what they want.

 

[chrono]

Gift giving does not mean the return gift has to be equal in dollar value. As long as it is given in the right spirit and from the heart, it means more than spending $$$ on a material gift.

 

[AmeliaG]

Oh goodness, no!

What you describe is not what gift-giving is about in my book, so again, no! As for what you should do, simple - something heartfelt that is within your means. Some of most emotionally meaningful gifts I have received were cards!

Ditto, get him something but within you means.

The only reason I would consider CC debt is if you've already budgeted a certain amount of CC debt (and the means to replay it) for Christmas shopping and you're under budget.

 

[Enerchi]

I don't believe debt for gifts is a responsible plan and will not do it. I plan and prepare in advance and save to afford something. (even my bling --- I do plan for it!) I also think a gift should come from the heart or a desire to share something with someone you care about, not a 'gift for the sake of giving a gift', so how about something homemade or a gift certificate for a special something - mow their lawn, take them out for coffee, treat them to a yoga class... random thoughts, but KWIM??

Not a fan of debt - our society is living too far into debt as is.

 

[Missy]

Gift giving does not mean the return gift has to be equal in dollar value. As long as it is given in the right spirit and from the heart, it means more than spending $$$ on a material gift.

Oh goodness, no!

What you describe is not what gift-giving is about in my book, so again, no! As for what you should do, simple - something heartfelt that is within your means. Some of most emotionally meaningful gifts I have received were cards!

Any real friend would not want you to go into debt in order to give them a gift. As others have said- bake them something, have them over for dinner, write them a thank you note expressing your appreciation of having them in your life etc. No need to spend the same amount of money on them as they did you.

 

[JewelFreak]

Very wise advice here. I love to hear from people with their feet firmly on the ground -- and their hearts open.

--- Laurie

 

[zoebartlett]

If I received a gift from a friend and I hadn't been expecting to exchange gifts, I'd probably bake something for him/her.

 

[HollyS]

Why would you need to use a CC? Use cash. Or make something. EVERYONE loves homemade fudge, cookies, and other goodies. EVERYONE.

 

[justginger]

Never. Never, ever, ever. There's nothing in life that I think is worth getting in credit card debt (unless we're literally talking life or death!).

Like everyone else has said, I would never want a friend to overextend themselves for my benefit. I give gifts because I want to, I wouldn't be all that miffed if a friend didn't return the favor at all. If they baked me brownies - BONUS!

 

[gem_anemone]

I have always felt obligated to buy at Christmas even if I could not afford it. I am slowly breaking that habit and learning to budget and save properly. I'm happy to say that this is the first year in a long time that I will NOT go in to debt for Xmas! I'm stoked!

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

If I had not planned on giving that individual a gift, even though he had decided to give me one, I wouldn't feel obligated to give a return gift. In fact, there is nothing that annoys me more when people run out as quickly as they can to repay me for something I may have given them. I find that obligation has no heart to it, when they just can't say thanks, and leave it at that.

For sure, don't go into debt over it, just say thanks a lot.

Annette

 

[asscherisme]

let say a friend is buying me a Christmas gift, in return am i obligated to buy him/her a gift? what if i couldn't afford it w/o getting into CC debt? what should i do?...

This is a trick question right? perhaps so you can show your daughter? Never, never, never ever go into debt buying a present! Or any other material want!!

 

[Natylad]

This is a very interesting question...Because, sometimes things are getting a little complicated and it's not easy to just bake some cookies and be done with it...And THANK YOU so much DF for starting this thread, coz i have been thinking a lot about this issue lately.
I will give you an example: We are going through recession here and there are many and i mean MANY families, which used to be well off and had a lot of money but all of a sudden are in serious financial trouble. I have seen this happening so much around me. So sometimes people who still have a generous budget for gifts are offering an expensive gift to a person who they think has the financial ability to return an equally expensive gift. But the reality is that most people can't spend a lot of money on gifts any more, although they don't go out announcing that they are in trouble...The problem is that so many people are afraid that if they don't offer back a gift of approximate value, they might be considered cheap, when in reality they're not cheap, they're just poor...all of a sudden...
My baby's godmother is a doctor in a public hospital. Her salary has been cut down twice and she hasn't been paid the extra money for her night shifts in months. But people around her think that she has so much money and she can afford whatever...Only i know what the real situation is...So when she called me crying and telling me that she apologizes for not having come to visit the baby and bring gifts in such a long time, i felt so sad and i told her that the best gift for the baby is spending time with her, playing with her, giving her love and attention...
Now, i'm thinking how many people, with the fear of being humiliated, gossiped and considered cheap, are going to get into cc debt in order to give the..."proper" gifts for christmas...
As far as i am concerned, i have already taken the decision that this is no time for overspending on gifts, so i have made it clear to my relatives and friends that this year, i consider it proper to give symbolic gifts of high sentimental value and much lower monetary value and everybody has agreed with me. I already prepared at home a beautiful basket with christmas towels, an apron, a kitchen set and a beautiful, colorful cookie jar in the shape of a snowman, filled with home made cookies and i'll be giving it to my SIL who has invited us at her home this coming weekend. It cost me 24 euros and as i look at it, i'm thinking that i would have been delighted to receive this for christmas too. So, yes, there are many beautiful and not expensive things that can be offered for christmas, with a personal touch that makes them so special...

 

[gnirlos]

Going into debt for a gift never makes sense. Gifts are just that - gifts. People following the Sheldon Cooper theory of gift giving are being short-sided. As long as there is thought put into what the appropriate gift is, they will have meaning for the receiver, regardless of the price tag.

 

[NTave]

I think it's fine as long as you budget in order to pay it off at the end of the month. I know that my last paycheck is too close to Christmas this year and I don't want to fight the crowds past this week, and I have a bunch of extra bills that I pay up before the end of the year and it shoots my fun money..I plan on budgeting a certain amount and it will be paid in January. No use switching everything else around. I don't go crazy and I'm super careful.

 

[bagelboy]

I think you should give him one of those extra watches you have. You can't wear them all at the same time anyway DF!!!

 

[Natylad]

I think you should give him one of those extra watches you have. You can't wear them all at the same time anyway DF!!!

+1

 

[LaraOnline]

I've bought a few pretty boxed sets of glass Christmas decorations that I plan to give as gifts for those friends I had 'forgotten' in the rush. These can be very inexpensive, but rather special...I like that they can be a little reminder of our friendship going forward in the upcoming seasons!

 

[justginger]

I've bought a few pretty boxed sets of glass Christmas decorations that I plan to give as gifts for those friends I had 'forgotten' in the rush. These can be very inexpensive, but rather special...I like that they can be a little reminder of our friendship going forward in the upcoming seasons!

Great idea, Lara. We usually keep a variety of nice boxed chocolates for those who have slipped through the cracks. I've never had anyone reject a box of Ferreros!

 

[Enerchi]

I like Lara's idea - that is sweet to have a little Christmas trinket on hand for those 'oops' gifts. And if you don't give them as gifts, then you can always use them yourself. Clever thinking, Lara! And JG - good one with the chocolates too!

 

[qtiekiki]

I used to buy a gift to return to an unexpected gift giver. I stopped doing that, and just said thank you. I haven't gotten any unexpected gifts for a while. There are coworkers who give me gifts every year. I used to buy gifts, but it's too time consuming to be thoughtful and not just buying random gifts. So I just give them cookies. They like my cookies. Although making dozens if cookies isn't really a time saver, it's nice to not have to think about the gift.