Funeral Etiquette

[zhuzhu]

My dear PSers, would you kindly share with me what your funeral etiquette practices are?

My grandmother passed away last weekend in CA, and while we will be conducting some practices that are specific to our culture (white envelopes from family friends), I would appreciate hearing what the westerns typically practice as she will be buried here in the US.

Thank you.

 

[iheartscience]

I think some of it depends your religion, but I was raised Catholic and here's what we do: typically there's a wake (aka viewing) the night before the funeral that's usually open casket. People come in, visit with each other, possibly say a prayer in front of the casket, etc. Then funeral mass is usually in the morning and then after the mass only family will go to the cemetery (with the priest) for the burial. After the burial there's a get together at someone's house with food, drinks, etc.

I've been to one funeral that was a little different. (The family was Baptist, not sure if that's why.) At the wake there was a receiving line type thing with the deceased person's spouse and parents sitting on stools and talking to everyone in the line. It was very strange to me, but I suppose that's just how some religions/families do it.

 

[dragonfly411]

zhu- I think they vary widely. When SO's first great grandmother died, we released butterflies as her ashes were scattered. When his dad died we had an inside funeral service with optional stories shared from friends. Afterwards we had a cookout because his dad LOVED to grill, and would have wanted everyone to be together remembering good things, not crying. We had an open casket service for my great aunt, but a graveside service with ash scatterings for my grandmother's mother. Generally people will send flower arrangements, this seems to be one major consistency, and most people keep a guest book for the service. Also the funeral generally has a program with a small poem or bible quote or other quotation. They are also generally formal.

I hope this helps a little.

I'm sorry for your loss.