friend "gift hint dropping?"

[charbie]

A month or so ago, a friend sent me a picture of a shirt and asked if my husband would like it, and said she was having trouble making up her mind on some Christmas gifts. I figured she was trying to decide on something for her husband, since DH and her hubby are good friends.

We saw her this past weekend, and she sort of made it a point to say, "oh, well we will be able to give you your christmas gift over new years when we visit."

I normally don''t do the whole friend gift thing. I think she sort of said something to give me a heads up, which, if it is the case I''m grateful so it isn''t awkward. I don''t really want to outright say something, so what would you do?

 

[Haven]

I would have said something like "Oh, that is so sweet of you to think of us, but we''d really be more comfortable if we don''t do the whole gift exchange thing. Why don''t we meet out for dinner together when you''re in town and celebrate that way, instead?"

We don''t exchange gift with adults, either, I feel like it can get out of hand so quickly. DH''s family used to exchange gifts with everyone, and it was so silly--it was clear that nobody enjoyed doing it so we called all the cousins last year and said "How about we say no gifts for the adults?" and every single one was beyond happy that we spoke up.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Make a small gift basket...prehaps an ice bucket, bottle of wine, wine topper and a couple bar towels...this is what we do for "obligated" adults that we buy for. We pick it all up (sans the wine) at Homegoods for around $20.00 per couple.

 

[kama_s]

I like Haven''s suggestion on how to have handled it, but it''s such an awkward position to be in. I would probably get them a small gift, a bottle of special wine/ice wine and some vanilla/cinnamon sticks to go with it?

 

[Haven]

If you do exchange gifts with them this year, don''t fall into the trap of feeling obligated to continue to do so every year. At some point before the holidays next year I''d make sure to tell them that you prefer not to exchange gifts and would like to spend some time with them, instead.

I''m usually overly prudent when it comes things like this, but obligatory gifts are so silly to me, and they go against what I feel is the nature of gift giving so I like to nip them in the bud immediately.

Then again, DH and I only give each other gifts when we happen upon something that we know the other will love, regardless of the date. So, I suppose I''m anti-obligatory gift all around.

 

[katamari]

She wants you to buy her a shirt? That seems especially weird to me.

I ditto that consumables are a good gift for friends. Or a gift card to a restaurant that the four of you go to as a group.

 

[charbie]

Date: 12/9/2009 12:05:07 AM
Author: katamari
She wants you to buy her a shirt? That seems especially weird to me.

I ditto that consumables are a good gift for friends. Or a gift card to a restaurant that the four of you go to as a group.

haha...no, she sent me a picture of a shirt she was going to buy as a gift...and I didn''t know if it was for my DH or hers!

I like DH''s idea...(this is his sense of humor)..."Let''s regift a wedding gift. We''ll pick something we really don''t like, give it to them, and then we won''t have to give them gifts anymore."

We''d never actually do that, but its just how he thinks.

I''m liking the consumables...I love making gift baskets, so I''ll put some stuff in that.

Haven- I agree, I will be nipping this in the bud, since I think it is kind of ridiculous. We don''t exchange with any other friends, and we are all getting together for a hockey game NYE- why the need to gift?

 

[mtjoya]

LOL...I hate stuff like this! This xmas I am going to be particular in who I give gifts too. Not to sound like a grinch. But I would re-gift! LOL...Good luck!