For those who requested expensive china. . .

[MichelleCarmen]

For those of you who registered for expensive china (and expensive is relative - basically, within your perception of "expensive" based on your financial sitation and you pick stuff out that''s normally more than you can afford), what happens if not all the place settings are purchased? Do you usually have preset aside extra cash to complete the settings? I''m curious because I have a couple weddings to attend this summer and both registered for beautiful china that is very pricey and I wonder generally what a couple does when some items aren''t purchased. What if the creamer pitcher is purchased and the sugar bowl isn''t (and each one is $100+)?

 

[tlh]

I used the gift cards/money to buy missing pieces, but to be honest, it is still in the boxes.

 

[D&T]

If it is something that they registered for but don''t get it all from the gift registry, I would think they would just buy the rest themselves becuase that is what they want and requested. But I would include a gift receipt for sure, just in case they change their minds later. I once received some really nice plates and bowls, but I didn''t register for them, so I didn''t get the complete set i just have a few odd ball in the cupboards.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I avoid buying china for this purpose. I prefer to either get a complete set of items or one larger item. I would only buy china/crystal/silver if I could afford an entire set.

 

[Haven]

We were given four sets of china, so our original plan was to purchase the remaining eight sets ourselves. However, we (I) decided it would be more fun to purchase four sets each of two different china patterns that would look nice with our original pattern, instead.
SO, we''ll end up with 12 sets total in three different patterns.

If a couple registers for the china, I think it''s safe to assume that they''d like to receive it as gifts.

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 5/18/2009 5:00:07 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I avoid buying china for this purpose. I prefer to either get a complete set of items or one larger item. I would only buy china/crystal/silver if I could afford an entire set.

Ditto this. I prefer to give complete sets or one large item.

But perhaps someone can explain to me why they would even register for a $100 pitcher/sugar bowl?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/18/2009 5:02:19 PM
Author: Haven

If a couple registers for the china, I think it''s safe to assume that they''d like to receive it as gifts.

I bought the first couple something else (and haven''t shopped for the second, yet). . .that is why I was thinking since we would not want to shell out the funds for the items they''re wanting, many others may not, as well.

 

[Octavia]

Many stores have registry completion discounts so couples can buy themselves items left on the registry after the wedding. I''d assume that if people really want the china, they''d use cash gifts from the wedding, if any, or would gradually add to what they''ve gotten as wedding presents if they can''t afford everything right away. While it might feel weird to give the sugar bowl but not the creamer, I''m sure they know the pieces are expensive and will be glad to get any of it!

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/18/2009 5:11:41 PM
Author: MC

Date: 5/18/2009 5:02:19 PM
Author: Haven

If a couple registers for the china, I think it''s safe to assume that they''d like to receive it as gifts.

I bought the first couple something else (and haven''t shopped for the second, yet). . .that is why I was thinking since we would not want to shell out the funds for the items they''re wanting, many others may not, as well.

Oh, I think I wasn''t clear. I didn''t mean to say that they only want to receive the china as gifts, and don''t want to have to purchase it for themselves. I meant that I would go ahead and buy the china if you''re so inclined, because they probably really want it, which is why it''s on their registry in the first place.

People give a wide range of gifts that cost various amounts of money, and I think there are many guests who are happy to spend the amount of a set of china on a wedding gift. We found that our friends and family were excessively generous when it came to wedding gifts.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I used gift cards to finish our set of 12. My mom bought me one of the serving pieces but honestly all I wanted were the place settings and I felt i could add something else to compliment it. Now it does seem like kinda a waste of money but it seemed so important at the time.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/18/2009 5:23:15 PM
Author: Haven


People give a wide range of gifts that cost various amounts of money, and I think there are many guests who are happy to spend the amount of a set of china on a wedding gift. We found that our friends and family were excessively generous when it came to wedding gifts.

Yep, I understand what you were saying! lol I was just pointing out that I bought something else. . .when I was looking online, not very many had purchased the place settings. lol

Now I''m starting to wonder if DH and I were not generous enough!

Guess I''ll pick out a more lavish bridal gift.

 

[Haven]

MC--ANY gift is generous, I don''t think you should feel obligated to make up for anything with another gift. I''m sure the couple was very grateful!

 

[Elmorton]

MC - I asked my friends who did register for china about this a couple years ago. One friend had a china shower (which I think is a cool idea) so most of hers was completed pre-wedding. The other friend only got 2 settings and used almost all of her giftcards to complete. Both friends had large weddings (200+).

I think people with bigger weddings have a better chance of getting the china completed than those with small weddings, but no, I don''t think it''s the norm that all the china is purchased - and I think most couples expect that. We had crystal on ours (we were given a full set of china before the wedding) and not a single person purchased it. In our case, we wound up with different crystal/didn''t buy other pieces. We have "expensive" silverware ($50 a setting) and we didn''t get all of that, either - so we used wedding money to get 8 settings and then for the last two christmases, we were given an additional 4 sets, bringing us up to the full 12. So couples will do different things to complete sets.

I think giving china is a kind, generous gift!

 

[pennquaker09]

I registered for 12 place settings and we did get the entire 12. We used to completion discount for the few things we didn''t get, but for the most part, we got everything. I''m not sure if what I registred for is considered expensive though. I went to Macy''s because I felt like it was a happy medium between the high and low end department stores. Also, I didn''t register for a lot of stuff because I didn''t actually want any gifts. We wanted donations to chairity instead. But we know generous people and they wanted to give us stuff anyway.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

We received about 8 sets of our china between the shower and wedding--we wanted a complete set of 12 plus the extras. After the wedding, we have since continued to finish off our set in small bits and pieces....a dinner service here, a sugar bowl there, a set of flatware. It''s taken time, over 2 years since we originally began receiving our china, but we''re getting close to being complete.

I think china is such a traditional wedding gift...it''s not something you use often, but when you do--it''s a great feeling. If you''re thinking about give a couple china, I say go for it! They''ll love it...even if they have to finish up the set over time.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

We registered for fine china that was more than we''d personally spend on dishes and ended up getting 8 place settings and some serving pieces for our wedding. We didn''t complete the set, and to be honest, we''ve never used it - not one time. When we have our own place we will probably make an effort to use it since it''s very pretty. Our "regular" dishes are pretty nice though so that''s one of the reasons why the fine china hasn''t been out of the cabinet.

 

[jewelerman]

Date: 5/18/2009 4:47:22 PM
Author:MC
For those of you who registered for expensive china (and expensive is relative - basically, within your perception of ''expensive'' based on your financial sitation and you pick stuff out that''s normally more than you can afford), what happens if not all the place settings are purchased? Do you usually have preset aside extra cash to complete the settings? I''m curious because I have a couple weddings to attend this summer and both registered for beautiful china that is very pricey and I wonder generally what a couple does when some items aren''t purchased. What if the creamer pitcher is purchased and the sugar bowl isn''t (and each one is $100+)?

Im surprised that there are many brides or couples that still register for fine china...Most couples ive worked with in the last decade mention they choose stoneware or better everyday ware over china that is expensive,diffecult to move and care for and only used for special occasions...I have a set of Wedgwood and a set of Lenox that I have owned since 1993(was supposed to be a wedding gift)and have used each set only once since i purchased them.How often do the couples expect to use their wedding china? and will it be insured against bteakage?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/19/2009 11:30:46 AM
Author: jewelerman
Im surprised that there are many brides or couples that still register for fine china...Most couples ive worked with in the last decade mention they choose stoneware or better everyday ware over china that is expensive,diffecult to move and care for and only used for special occasions...I have a set of Wedgwood and a set of Lenox that I have owned since 1993(was supposed to be a wedding gift)and have used each set only once since i purchased them.How often do the couples expect to use their wedding china? and will it be insured against bteakage?

Jewelerman - I wonder the same thing. If I was planning a wedding, I would be registering for dishes that could be used on a daily basis! One relative of Dh's has a very nice set of Lenox china that she's never used. I'm contemplating asking if DH and I could have it. . .it's a very close relative and her and her husband divorced long ago. If we were lucky enough to be given the set, we would use it once a week or so. I'm *so* incredibly clumsy that nearly all of our World Market dishes have chips in them! lol We desperately need nicer plates for when friends come over. With kids, I don't want to bother buying new plates for another year or so, however, would like a few plates for when company comes over.

What do you all consider expensive? Is $150 a setting expensive?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/19/2009 5:19:27 AM
Author: pennquaker09
I registered for 12 place settings and we did get the entire 12. We used to completion discount for the few things we didn''t get, but for the most part, we got everything. I''m not sure if what I registred for is considered expensive though. I went to Macy''s because I felt like it was a happy medium between the high and low end department stores. Also, I didn''t register for a lot of stuff because I didn''t actually want any gifts. We wanted donations to chairity instead. But we know generous people and they wanted to give us stuff anyway.

Penn - considering the amount of guest invited to both weddings, neither have registered for much! The amount of stuff equals about one quarter of the guests invited. Maybe gift cards are anticipated.

Did you pretty much have everything you needed before your ceremony? It''s sweet of you to request that donations be made. I think part of the problem is that couples register for items they''ll *never* use. Not saying china, but standing cake mixers, when they don''t actually make cakes. Dh and I could have asked for a waffle maker. In reality, though, I buy organic toaster waffles because my son can then just pop them in the toaster. It''d make more sense to have the money go toward a homeless cat no-kill shelter than appliances collecting dust in my cupboard.

 

[NovemberBride]

As I recently commented on another thread, I think this is a very regional thing. I grew up in VA and every single friend of mine that has gotten married registered for both everyday dishes as well as fancy china and crystal. I registered for and received 12 Wedgewood china settings and all the additional pieces (serving plates, creamer, sugar bowl, vegetable dishes, soup bowls, etc), 12 silver place settings, 12 crystal wine glasses and 12 crystal goblets. All of my friends had the vast majority of thier china purchased as well.

I often purchase china or crystal as a wedding gift. I find that most china is about $100/place setting and most crystal is about $50/glass. In our circles, the typical wedding gift is $200-$300, so I might give 2-3 place settings or 4-6 crystal wine glasses. At this rate, it''s easy to complete someone''s registry. I know not everyone wants or uses china, in fact we have used ours once in 2 years (I made DH a fancy candlelight dinner). However, that is because we are still relatively young (30) and travel to visit family for holidays. Once we start hosting holidays at home, we will serve holiday dinners on the good china, the same way our mothers do now. We are glad to have the china and crystal we registered for, because although it is very lovely and special to have, if it was not gifted to us we would have a hard time justifying spening several thousand dollars to buy it ourselves.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/19/2009 11:52:41 AM
Author: NovemberBride
As I recently commented on another thread, I think this is a very regional thing. I grew up in VA and every single friend of mine that has gotten married registered for both everyday dishes as well as fancy china and crystal. I registered for and received 12 Wedgewood china settings and all the additional pieces (serving plates, creamer, sugar bowl, vegetable dishes, soup bowls, etc), 12 silver place settings, 12 crystal wine glasses and 12 crystal goblets. All of my friends had the vast majority of thier china purchased as well.

I often purchase china or crystal as a wedding gift. I find that most china is about $100/place setting and most crystal is about $50/glass. In our circles, the typical wedding gift is $200-$300, so I might give 2-3 place settings or 4-6 crystal wine glasses. At this rate, it's easy to complete someone's registry. I know not everyone wants or uses china, in fact we have used ours once in 2 years (I made DH a fancy candlelight dinner). However, that is because we are still relatively young (30) and travel to visit family for holidays. Once we start hosting holidays at home, we will serve holiday dinners on the good china, the same way our mothers do now. We are glad to have the china and crystal we registered for, because although it is very lovely and special to have, if it was not gifted to us we would have a hard time justifying spening several thousand dollars to buy it ourselves.

Yikes, several thousand!!! We host nearly all holidays and always have over 12 people. More like 15-20! It would be very expensive to accomodate everyone. Even though our dishes aren't "high quality," we have many fun serving platters and also I focus more on vases. I love freshly cut flowers. For me, it would make more sense to register for a $100 vase because it would be filled year round.

Is VA more conservative than the NW? Seems like it would be so and families would be more inclined to use their fine china.

 

[oobiecoo]

In my group of friends and family, it seems like the couples don''t usually have money set aside to finish out their china, crystal, whatever. Our flatware for instance... it wasn''t super expensive but we did registered for 12 settings and all of the serving pieces. We only got 9 place settings. We didn''t want to spend the money right after the wedding but eventually would have purchased the rest of it a little at a time. Luckily, my mom offered to buy the rest so that worked out well.

I think for something like china... if the couple doesn''t receive all of their items(and don''t have the money set aside specifically for that) then they can always add the rest piece by piece or ask for it for Christmas or whatever.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 5/19/2009 1:21:04 PM
Author: oobiecoo

In my group of friends and family, it seems like the couples don't usually have money set aside to finish out their china, crystal, whatever. Our flatware for instance... it wasn't super expensive but we did registered for 12 settings and all of the serving pieces. We only got 9 place settings. We didn't want to spend the money right after the wedding but eventually would have purchased the rest of it a little at a time. Luckily, my mom offered to buy the rest so that worked out well.

I think for something like china... if the couple doesn't receive all of their items(and don't have the money set aside specifically for that) then they can always add the rest piece by piece or ask for it for Christmas or whatever.

I tried to post to this thread earlier in the day and the computer ate what I had written, so I went on to other things. Now I see that oobiecoo has written pretty much what I was going to write.

I registered for extremely expensive china, very good Tiffany silver, and expensive Baccarat crystal when I got married and I got very few pieces of anything. My wedding was thrown together in a hurry and everything about it was slapdash. Some people whom I invited did not even know that I was registered!

My husband and I were poor as church mice and certainly didn't have any money put away to buy extra place settings of anything! I was wearing an engagement ring with two 1-point diamonds in an oval circle of gold and thinking that my ring was magnificent!

In time, by getting many Christmas and birthday gifts from my parents and eventually saving some money of our own I was able to get all our china; sterling flatware; and crystal, however. In fact, I think I probably have more pieces of silver than I can identify to go with a place setting in my sterling pattern (and I have settiings for 12). I don't know why I got so carried away, but I got every esoteric spoon and fork known to man. (Not really. I am sure I didn't get some fish forks or anything special with which to take out indivual escargots!) In addition, of course, I have some of my mother's Georg Jensen silver flatware! Isn't it nice that I can keep it all in the safe deposit box since I use it so often?

AGBF

 

[Rhea]

I didn't register for china. A friend of mine and received several pieces of the china and the everyday dishes, but not a complete set of either. She returned all the china to get her everyday kitchen stuff, bedding, and other items that she registered for. She still wants the china and watches out for good sales on it, but getting complete everyday household items trumped the china.

Her parents, sister, husband and close friends buy her piece by piece of the china for her birthday and Christmas.

 

[swimmer]

Date: 5/19/2009 11:52:41 AM
Author: NovemberBride
As I recently commented on another thread, I think this is a very regional thing. I grew up in VA and every single friend of mine that has gotten married registered for both everyday dishes as well as fancy china and crystal. I registered for and received 12 Wedgewood china settings and all the additional pieces (serving plates, creamer, sugar bowl, vegetable dishes, soup bowls, etc), 12 silver place settings, 12 crystal wine glasses and 12 crystal goblets. All of my friends had the vast majority of thier china purchased as well.


I often purchase china or crystal as a wedding gift. I find that most china is about $100/place setting and most crystal is about $50/glass. In our circles, the typical wedding gift is $200-$300, so I might give 2-3 place settings or 4-6 crystal wine glasses. At this rate, it''s easy to complete someone''s registry. I know not everyone wants or uses china, in fact we have used ours once in 2 years (I made DH a fancy candlelight dinner). However, that is because we are still relatively young (30) and travel to visit family for holidays. Once we start hosting holidays at home, we will serve holiday dinners on the good china, the same way our mothers do now. We are glad to have the china and crystal we registered for, because although it is very lovely and special to have, if it was not gifted to us we would have a hard time justifying spening several thousand dollars to buy it ourselves.

I''m with Nov, also got married down south and got all of the china and silver for which we registered. I have a dinner party at least once a month and use all of it regularly. DH and I love cleaning the silver after a party (or the next am) and putting it into the chest. Its sounds silly, but its rather like our family treasures and I remember clearly every person who gave us each fork and spoon. The same for each plate and bowl. I''m not clumsy and had a set of blue willow for a decade before marriage, no chips yet, so no need to register for a second set of daily stuff (I returned DH''s two plates to his mom). Setting a table with china is just so beautiful, I''m sorry that some think this is a waste of money, I think these artifacts of beginning a new family are priceless. My parents also use and treasure their fine things

I''m only partially answering MC''s original question. Yes, those of us who do choose to register for china probably do want it very much, but are happy to get anything of course. My DH and I registered for nicer things than we had, but well within our income bracket. Like most of my girlfriends, I still have hundreds in gift cards to the store where we registered. Gift cards are great if your gift point is less than the price of an item, but didn''t they register for picture frames or homegoods at your pricepoint as well? And yes, VA is indeed more conservative than the NW.

 

[pennquaker09]

Date: 5/19/2009 11:50:05 AM
Author: MC

Date: 5/19/2009 5:19:27 AM
Author: pennquaker09
I registered for 12 place settings and we did get the entire 12. We used to completion discount for the few things we didn''t get, but for the most part, we got everything. I''m not sure if what I registred for is considered expensive though. I went to Macy''s because I felt like it was a happy medium between the high and low end department stores. Also, I didn''t register for a lot of stuff because I didn''t actually want any gifts. We wanted donations to chairity instead. But we know generous people and they wanted to give us stuff anyway.

Penn - considering the amount of guest invited to both weddings, neither have registered for much! The amount of stuff equals about one quarter of the guests invited. Maybe gift cards are anticipated.

Did you pretty much have everything you needed before your ceremony? It''s sweet of you to request that donations be made. I think part of the problem is that couples register for items they''ll *never* use. Not saying china, but standing cake mixers, when they don''t actually make cakes. Dh and I could have asked for a waffle maker. In reality, though, I buy organic toaster waffles because my son can then just pop them in the toaster. It''d make more sense to have the money go toward a homeless cat no-kill shelter than appliances collecting dust in my cupboard.

Well, yes and no. Nate and I had been living together for a year and a half before we had our ceremony. My mom still had her wedding china and sterling flatware and I asked her if I could have it because she had like 4 sets of china. Anyway, it''s a set of Wedgewood and Tiffany silver from 1984; enough for 20 place settings. I didn''t think about it being a Southern thing, but that''s probably why I received almost everything. I know in my family, we used china and silver on a regular basis.

I''m the type of person that loves to give, and I don''t expect anything in return.