Wedding finally shopping for the Bridesmaids Dresses (Help)

[blissfulbride]

My question is when we all get there and decide on the dresses how does it go in terms of payment? how did everyone here do it ?

 

[aprilcait]

My bridesmaids paid for their own dresses, shoes, etc. I was just cautious of the price so that they would not be bowled over with outrageous costs for something they''d likely only wear for one day. Now, the shoes I let them pick out on their own. I just requested that they select shoes that don''t make the "flip flop" sound while walking. They decided together to both get silver shoes and went from there. I bought them their jewelry for the day-of. Honestly, I didn''t fully expect them to wear the jewelry for the wedding (and wasn''t about to request it) but they did and I was touched.

 

[violet02]

Date: 8/11/2008 3:30:41 PM
Author:blissfulbride
My question is when we all get there and decide on the dresses how does it go in terms of payment? how did everyone here do it ?

We went in, tried them on, ordered them and the store took payment up front from each girl for their dresses. They wouldn't order them without full payment up front. Each girl was present.

Had I had a bridesmaid from out of town I would have paid for hers probably and had her pay me back.

ETA: My BMs ordered their own shoes and we ordered jewlery (very inexpensive) which they reimbursed me for. We're about to do the same with the wraps.

 

[Clairitek]

I''ve experienced things both ways as a BM (bride paying vs BMs each paying).

The friend whose wedding I am in next May is paying for our dresses because
1) they are DEFINITELY not really wearable again.
2) all but 1 BM will have to get on a plane and pay for hotel rooms for a few days.
3) most of us are finishing grad school, doing fellowships, or have low salaries so they didn''t want to burden us with the extra costs.

The other situation I was in I paid for my dress but the bride paid for the wraps she wanted us to wear inside of the conservative church she was getting married in. She was nice enough to help me out with some other costs because she knew that it wasn''t cheap for me to fly out to her wedding and that I am a still poor grad student.

So I guess it all depends on what you and FI could afford and what your BMs can afford. I might add that the situation where the bride paid for my dress is unique because the bride and her FI make unusually large salaries for our age group and she had a good amount of help from her parents and his with the wedding costs. In general I would assume that the cost of the shoes and dress are up to me to deal with.

 

[blissfulbride]

I can careless about the jewelry or the shoes and bag. I care the most about the dress because I dont want them to look cheap. I would be find with claires lol

 

[Sabine]

I would really suggest talking to your girls about a budget for the dresses before you go shopping if you are not planning on buying their dresses for them. I don't think it's the bride's job to pay for the dress, but I do think it's the bride's job to make sure the dress she picks fits in her girls' budgets. I don't think it's reasonable for a bride to insist girls spend more than they are comfortable, so if you don't know what that amount would be, ask! I live in a small town and am definitely on a budget, and I would be really upset if a bride expected me to pay more than $150-175 for a dress.

ETA, once you pick a dress, you might be able to have the girls order it at a later date on their own (especially if they all aren't present) and then they'll pay for it when they order it.

 

[BriBee]

Date: 8/11/2008 4:31:41 PM
Author: Sabine
I would really suggest talking to your girls about a budget for the dresses before you go shopping if you are not planning on buying their dresses for them. I don't think it's the bride's job to pay for the dress, but I do think it's the bride's job to make sure the dress she picks fits in her girls' budgets. I don't think it's reasonable for a bride to insist girls spend more than they are comfortable, so if you don't know what that amount would be, ask! I live in a small town and am definitely on a budget, and I would be really upset if a bride expected me to pay more than $150-175 for a dress.

ETA, once you pick a dress, you might be able to have the girls order it at a later date on their own (especially if they all aren't present) and then they'll pay for it when they order it.

I agree with what Sabine said. When we were shopping for BM dresses, my friend was originally looking at Jim Hjelm floor length gowns. With alterations the dresses would have cost $300 or more. She felt really bad about the price and we ended up going with something about half as much. I wouldn't have minded paying that if I thought I could wear the dress again, but I don't know how probable that is even if the dress is gorgeous. It just seems like there aren't enough formal affiars where the dress would work, except maybe another wedding. Anyways, I think discussing a budget is a good idea, and maybe if you find dresses that you LOVE that are out of the budget, you could pay the difference...?
And we only had to pay 50% down to order the dresses. I've been in 2 weddings and they both required just a % down to order, not full price up front.