Wedding Fed up with this whole wedding thing...

[Pandora II]

I''m 2 weeks out and really wishing this whole thing was over already.

My father just called me to say that my 90 year old grandmother, who I am very close to, collapsed at a party at lunchtime and is now unconscious having had a stroke. I''m feeling pretty devastated about it right now.

My mother is still in hospital after her back operation a month ago. She has MS and the operation caused a huge MS attack and she now has very severe nerve pain in her legs. She''s on a huge dose of heroin at the moment and can''t really walk, so she''s stressing about having to come to the wedding in a wheelchair with a syringe-driver of diamorphine attached.

FI''s grandfather and grandmother can''t come as they are too ill. His grandfather has been diagnosed with an aortic aneurysm and coluld basically die at anytime, and his grandmother has severe Alzheimers.

Add to that, we bought a new house last week and I''m in the middle of job interviews and my current job is super stressful right now.

I''m just not in the mood for a whole big party.

Sorry, big vent...

 

[Doomaise]

Wow....I''m really sorry to hear all of that. I can''t even imagine the amount of stress you''re going through. Try not to dwell on all the negatives and focus on the love that''s brought you and your fiance together....the rest will work itself out.

 

[VRBeauty]

Pandora, I am so sorry to hear about this! That combination of events (or even half of those events) would be stressful even without a wedding to put on. I suspect you''re super organized and ready on the wedding end of things, hopefully all of the planning you''ve done will help in the next few weeks. Just remember to focus on the things that really matter and let go of as much of the small stuff as you can.

My best wishes go out to you and your fiance, and to both of your families.

 

[Maisie]

Pandora I''m so sorry to hear that so many things are happening at once for you. It must really be stressing you out. Just try to take time to breathe... you probably feel like you are running round trying to do 20 things at once.

 

[Pandora II]

Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts.

I''ve just had a call from my father. My grandmother has come round and... is 100% fine. All the scans look good and everything - the hospital are a bit shocked. They''re sending her home in a day or so. I can''t believe it! I am so so so relieved and happy. I couldn''t bear the thought of her not being at my wedding.

When I didn''t think FI would ever propose I told her I might never get married, but we''d possibly have some children.

I received a wonderful letter from her saying: I am disturbed and distressed by your talk of having progeny outside of wedlock. I would so much rather think of you as a wife and mother than as some kind of broodmare.''

Following this, you can appreciate her joy at the news that I am getting married. Wretched woman! I suppose at 91 you are allowed to be difficult and say things you shouldn''t...

(I actually took some time out this afternoon to de-stress and went to IKEA..

)

 

[Krissie]

Oh Pandora, I am so sorry to hear this. I can understand why you feel totally overwhelmed and not at all like celebrating. I''m really sorry.

I know you''re just looking to vent - but I believe that despite this news, your wedding is going to be a happy, beautiful, well-planned event, and worst case scenario - at least it will be over with! You have put so much effort into making many people happy about this, and in the end, you and your fi will be legally and spiritually joined together forevah.

Definitely keeping you in my thoughts, Pandora.

 

[FacetFire]

I am so glad that your grandmother is doing better! But I am sorry to hear that you and your family are having so many struggles around your wedding. I am sure that the love between you and FI will make your day amazing. I wish I had any good advice, but I can only offer my best wishes to you and your family. Hang in there!

 

[fatafelice]

Oh, Pandora, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all of this! But I am also very happy to hear that your grandma is going to be okay. What a relief for you!

I have *so* been where you are. After losing Mike''s mom last year and having to cancel the big wedding, my biggest fear was that something was going to happen to someone before the vow renewal this year. I felt like we were cursed and I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And my fears were somewhat justified, because in the two weeks leading up to June 28th:

- One grandfather had to have his gallbladder removed
- Another grandfather was taken to the hostpital because he was weak and light-headed (he is already in poor health)
- My 18-month-old neice had to be taken to the emergency room twice for dehydration, couldn''t shake flu-like symptoms, and wouldn''t eat
- A close family friend lost her sister suddenly
- Mike''s best female friend lost her nephew when he committed suicide by stepping in front of a train

I think I broke down into tears every day for a week and a half. Then I felt horribly guilty for being worried about the wedding at all, when so many others were suffering, so I cried some more. Fortunately, both grandfathers are feeling much better, and my neice is healthy again. And once I hit the rehersal, I tried to just let everything go. I did have rough patch when one of my best friends called Friday night to tell me her flight had been cancelled and there was no way for her to make it to the wedding, but I told myself that it would be okay. After that, I became even more determined to enjoy every moment and every person who was able to be there. We had a beautiful, joyous day, and I am so happy that it is over!

I don''t have much advice, other than try to have faith that everything will be okay, and just hang in there. Whatever will be, will be, and there isn''t anything you can do to control it. Remember that it is okay to be worried about the wedding, and it is okay to feel sad. But if you are stressed about last minute details, my advice is to just let them go. Your wedding day will still happen, and it will be wonderful, because you are marrying the man that you love and you will be his wife. And when it is all over, you will be happy that you have that day to revisit in your memory forever.

(((HUGS)))

 

[fatafelice]

I forgot to add:

Your grandmother sounds a lot like mine! That letter she wrote you is priceless! lol

 

[Pandora II]

Thanks Fata,

You make me feel a lot better!

It just seems such a frivolous thing at times, but you''re right, I will be glad when the day comes and to have the memories to look back at.

You seem to have run into some serious stress both times, and I''m so happy that your day came off so well for you (pictures????).

I''m also glad other people have badly behaved grandmothers - mine has a codicil in her will that dis-inherits any children born out of wedlock even if their parents then marry later! She had my second cousin and his wife marched into the Register Office (courthouse) two weeks before their first child was born!

The most amusing bit of the whole carry on is that there is nothing to inherit!

I am so incredibly happy that she is fine. It has really given me a shock and I suddenly realised how much I would miss her.

 

[allycat0303]

Pandora,

I am so happy that your grandmother is feeling better. I think grandmothers say the strangest things, but we love them anyways. I hope that things get better so that you can look forward to your wedding again. I know that you are feeling overwhelemed, but you WILL get through it. One day at the time. All the things that you never thought would happen, have happened, so hopefully the rest will go smoothly.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I am so sorry Pandora! Here are huge hugs and PS dust to you. I hope everyone is feeling better and everything gets back on track very soon.

((HUGS))

 

[Harriet]

Oh, P. I''m so sorry.

 

[Harriet]

(Double post.)

 

[winston26]

Oh I''m relieved your Granny is better. I''ve found that most Grannys become more and more outspoken as they age. I cannot believe the things that come out of my Grandma''s mouth lately! eg we were having fun, joking around, opening gifts the day after the wedding and apparently she was bored and yelled "CMON, TODAY (WINSTON) TODAY!" Apparently we weren''t moving fast enough! The only upshot is I can dish it right back and she laughs.

I hope your Mom is feeling a tiny bit better by the wedding. I''m sure she is disappointed she can''t enjoy it more fully.
Hope you can put the stress aside and still enjoy the actual day as best you can! Hugs and best wishes to you!

 

[Gypsy]

I''m so happy to hear of grandma''s recovery!

But honey, you have a TON on your plate even with that. I think that was just the straw that broke the camel''s back, ya know?
I have a grandma who misbehaves as well. So much sympathy there.

Just don''t try to pamper yourself a bit where you can, and do non-wedding stuff as much as possible.

And vent. Feel free to vent here. ((HUGS))

 

[diamondfan]

there is a ton on your plate but try to think about the good. Older people get ill and it is so scary and sad, especially when you would love them to be present for something but they cannot do it.


Soon, you will be married, settled in your home, and have your job resolved. Nothing else is really in your control, and I am sorry you are having any stress.