Ever wish you had people repellant?

[Cehrabehra]

I''m the opposite - I have a natural people repellent and I don''t want it! I think I give off a very unfriendly vibe and it''s totally not true. I think it is because I''m a bit insecure when meeting new people or something but like for example - many women hate having strangers come up and have their bellies touched while pregnant and yet they have a constant string of them. I had ONE person in 3 pregnancies spontaneously touch my belly and I loved it! I was always sad more didn''t do it because I felt glorious in my belly and wanted to share it with the world and yet my vibe was back off! I don''t know how to change it but I''d gladly switch with you

 

[Indylady]

Date: 6/15/2010 3:46:47 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 6/15/2010 3:21:33 PM
Author: IndyLady
Thing2 and Tigian, I like the idea of saying I have a lot of work to do!

Haven, the Ipod idea is a good idea too! Haha, that is hilarious. I wonder what he must have overheard when people assumed he was listening to music and couldn''t hear!

Last time he was here, he actually asked exactly what I had to do and commented that I didn''t have much and hopes that my boss won''t keep me all to herself.

Monnie, I think you nailed his type. Is there a barfing emotie?

Oh, gag. I think I would ask your boss whether it''s typical for someone from an entirely different floor FOR EXAMPLE, THIS GUY to be visiting others so often. Gag gag gag. The office is NOT for hitting on people, nor is it appropriate for that kind of guy to make power play comments like the one about hoping your boss doesn''t keep you all to herself.

Hopefully he''ll get run over by a train tonight.

Wow, I didn''t even realize that was a power play!! I just thought it was, odd..but assumed he was trying to be helpful by giving me more project experience. Snort, that sounds so naive. He also asked to make sure that I would have a posting of his extention and asked whether he''d be getting one of mine (there was an office administator present that works on things up updating the phone rooster, etc.).

Now I''m rolling my eyes at myself for not catching onto this guy the mintue he started talking!

 

[Indylady]

Date: 6/15/2010 6:34:10 PM
Author: Haven
I agree that it''s best to put a stop to this guy''s behavior ASAP. Hitting on ANYONE at work is just gross, IMO, unless your Jim Halperin. And then it''s okay.

I like to do a couple things when guys are inappropriately hitting on me:

- If he touches me (my shoulder or arm or anything) I immediately turn my head and glare at his hand, wherever it is. After doing that for long enough to make him uncomfortable I then turn my head to his face and glare at him, and then back at his hand if he''s an idiot and hasn''t yet removed it. (This doesn''t happen often, but I''ve met a few older administrators who are too touchy for my taste.)

- If he invades my personal space I straighten up very quickly and take a big step back, and then give him a solid glare.

- If he talks to me when I don''t want him around, I make this face where I turn my mouth down a bit, lean my head forward and bent down a touch, and arch my eyebrows in an ''I''m listening but the fact that your speaking is annoying me'' type of way. It''s hard to describe, but if you have younger siblings, you know what I mean because you''ve probably made this face a thousand times.

- If he''s too stupid to pick up on any of this I look him straight in the face and say ''I really don''t have time to chat. Have a nice day'' and just give him the ''as if'' look until he buggers off.

I guess it all boils down to giving him the stink eye and being silent long enough to make him uncomfortable. I''ve learned that people really don''t like silence when they''re trying to talk to someone, so it typically doesn''t take much time.

Sorry you have to deal with this at a new job. I hope he gets the hint soon!

Haven, thank you! I want to cut this guy off as soon as possible. Bahaha, I had a thought to combine all of your strategies, looking down with arched eyebrows, combined with a glare and a snippy, "I have a lot of work to do, have a nice day!" I also just tried making said face, and its quite hard to glare and arch your eyebrows, though totally entertaining. I''m bringin'' on the stink eye!!

 

[Indylady]

Princesss, this guy is definitely on my freeze list.

Qtie, I can''t believe this guy that the nerve to suggest you had marriage problems!! There are many, many reasons someone might not wear a ring (swelling cause of pregnany, too big, too small, uncomfortable for the job you''re doing, and on and on).

Brazen, that is hilarious! Do you think saying that I''m researching harrassment laws would be too direct? I''m putting that one on the back burner in case my artic freeze isn''t enough.

Aww Cehra, I would never think you had people repellent judging by your PS posts! You are always so friendly and easy going. My SO is really quiet and has a bit of natural people repellent

. He doesn''t smile unncessarily and isn''t too friendly; he''s perfectly nice, cordial, respectful, but not friendly if that makes sense. A lot of people will think that he doesn''t like them. Its one of the things that attracted me to him; it was a challenge. I liked that he was "reserved" and didn''t hand out smiles like candy...a smile and a nod from him is kind of a big deal. He only does those things when he means it, so I like that about him.

On switching...I used to be a shy kid, until my mom had cancer and I realized that life was too short for me to be shy! Naturally, different strokes for different folks..if you like being shy, that''s great. But, I felt like I was missing out. I think part of the way I combatted my shy-ness was being friendly, and putting myself out there, and by knowing that there were people that love me, so its ok if someone new doesn''t. I''m ok with putting myself out there because I know there are people that support me. Having that confidence gives me kind of a snowball effect. I''m friendly, so I approach people, I''m friendly, so people approach me. Getting the ball started can be hard though, but after its going, it all comes together easily.