Drunk 4 year old crossdresser gone wild?

[MonkeyPie]

Careful, some of the images and ads on the page are NSFW, but the video is ok.

"A drunk crossdressing 4-year-old broke into a neighbor''s house and stole their Christmas presents on Tuesday morning in Chattanooga, TN. File this under: What would happen if I ever raised a kid. You can also cross-file it under: Might be a Spears.

It all started when 4-year-old Hayden Wright got a little thirstay in the early morning hours on Tuesday. Hayden went to the kitchen and opened up the refrigerator. Since nothing quenches the thirst of a 4-year-old like a cold beer, he grabbed one out of the fridge, opened it up and took a few sips. After he got a little of the sweet nectar in his system, Hayden was ready to party like Eddie Murphy so he headed for the next door neighbor''s house.

Hayden got into the neighbor''s house through an unlocked door and immediately noticed a bunch of presents under the Christmas tree. The presents must have called his name, because Hayden opened up five of them. One of the presents he opened up was a purdy brown dress, so naturally, Hayden slipped it on. You know, I''m beginning to think that I magically became a 4-year-old and transported to Tennessee on Tuesday without knowing it.

After Hayden put on the dress, he went to another neighbor''s house and rang the door bell a few times. That neighbor called the police. The police found Hayden wandering the streets in the brown dress while drinking the beer. Hayden and his 21-year-old mother April were taken to the local hospital.

April said that Hayden''s father is in jail, so he might have been trying to get arrested so he could go be with him. ACK! And suddenly this story took a turn to SADSVILLE.

Child Protective Services met with April yesterday and said they have no plans to take custody away from her. TLC also met with April and says they have serious plans to make Hayden a reality TV star. I made that last part up, but it will probably turn out to be true."

 

[sunnyd]

LOL! This version of the story was much more entertaining than the news version. The story itself is sad, but...

 

[sctsbride09]

I have no words, just

.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Those door knob thingies don''t work too well. At an early age my kids figured out how to open doors with those and for our front door, we had a latch lock really high up (in addition to the regular deadbolt) that ensured our kids couldn''t unlock the front door and go outside. I had heard a story about a 2 YO getting out and found walking down the street and based on that, put the latch up.

Anyway, about this story. . .it''s hard to imagine that a 4 year old a) was able to open a can of beer, and b) even liked the taste of it! Just a weird situation. Good thing the child is alright.

 

[qtiekiki]

 

[steph72276]

Date: 12/30/2009 5:43:48 PM
Author: MC
Those door knob thingies don''t work too well. At an early age my kids figured out how to open doors with those and for our front door, we had a latch lock really high up (in addition to the regular deadbolt) that ensured our kids couldn''t unlock the front door and go outside. I had heard a story about a 2 YO getting out and found walking down the street and based on that, put the latch up.


Anyway, about this story. . .it''s hard to imagine that a 4 year old a) was able to open a can of beer, and b) even liked the taste of it! Just a weird situation. Good thing the child is alright.

Ditto! Those doorknob things are completely useless...Andrew figured out how to use them in about 5 minutes when he was two, so we also put a latch way up high. I was thinking the same thing that I can''t even open a bottle of beer without an opener, I wonder how a 4 year old did it? Strange story but glad he was okay...

 

[Kaleigh]

Wow. I just can''t imagine how a kid could do all that at his tender age??

I have never seen that lock device, looks like a bubble ballon over the doorn knob?? We had safety locks up high on all doors. I was so scared because we had a pool in the old house. Had a big fence around the pool, and a lock on that too...

So glad the kid is ok... I think there is more to this story.....

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/30/2009 6:44:48 PM
Author: steph72276

Ditto! Those doorknob things are completely useless...Andrew figured out how to use them in about 5 minutes when he was two, so we also put a latch way up high. I was thinking the same thing that I can''t even open a bottle of beer without an opener, I wonder how a 4 year old did it? Strange story but glad he was okay...

Yeah, I have to put a butter knife under the tab to lift it up a bit. . .I probably open about 10 cans a year as I don''t drink beer out of a can and when we, on the few occasions let the kids have pop, I buy a 2-liter.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/30/2009 9:34:53 PM
Author: Kaleigh
Wow. I just can''t imagine how a kid could do all that at his tender age??

I have never seen that lock device, looks like a bubble ballon over the doorn knob?? We had safety locks up high on all doors. I was so scared because we had a pool in the old house. Had a big fence around the pool, and a lock on that too...

So glad the kid is ok... I think there is more to this story.....

Always is more to stories like this one. .. maybe the mom had left an open can of beer in the fridge? Still can''t believe the kid liked the taste of it. Once my husband put a beer in the freezer to cool it off and he forgot about it and it exploded and leaked all over my kids'' Otter Pops and after my son refuses to eat them because of the beer smell. Guess I should toss them.

 

[HopeDream]

When I was 4 or 5 I liked the taste of beer. I would try to steal sips from my dad's can.
Mind you, my mom raised me without sugar for the first 6 years (no sugar = fondness for beer?)

(not much of a drinker now though)

This story will probably come out at that kid's wedding.


edit: Ditto SunnyD below on the Canadian thing.

 

[sunnyd]

I also liked beer when I was a kid...but I''m Canadian, so I pretty much have to.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/31/2009 1:19:12 PM
Author: HopeDream
When I was 4 or 5 I liked the taste of beer. I would try to steal sips from my dad''s can.
Mind you, my mom raised me without sugar for the first 6 years (no sugar = fondness for beer?)

hmmm. . .

I hated it until just a few years back when I discovered microbrews like Red Hook.

Last weekend I watched My Life in Ruins (dumb - oh, well) and there were two Australians on the bus tour and all they did through the entire movie was drink beer (had it for breakfast, even!) Talk about a stereotype. When we''ve gone to Canada, I''ve had a difficult time finding the "right" beer for me. Which ones are the good ones? We usually travel up there a few times a year.