Does your SO keep you from sleeping well?

[Tuckins1]

Hi all. I am a terrible sleeper- I wear ear plugs, a mask, and have to have a fan going. My husband snores and tosses and turns, and he REALLY disrupts my sleep! Last night he woke me up at 3 AM and I couldn''t get back to sleep because he was so disruptive. What should I do? I am seriously thinking about putting an air mattress in another room and sleeping in there!

Any one else have sleep issues?

 

[dani13]

OMG, totally. MH and I do not sleep together most of the time because I am such a light sleeper, and he has severe snoring issues. I know its terrible, but what else is there to do??? I need my sleep!!!!

 

[Luckyeshe]

Tuckins, I sometimes sleep on the couch when FI gets bad! Normally he''s pretty good but sometimes....it''s really bad. He''s not one for tossing and turning, but definitely snoring. He wears a breathing strip everynite to help out but sometimes it doesn''t work and on those occassions, I sleep on the couch.

Is there a chance to get one of those mattress that doesn''t transfer movement? Can''t remember what it''s called, but it''s that foam stuff. That might help with the tossing and turning. And see if you could get him to do breathing strips at nite. If that doesn''t work, I see no problem with you sleeping in another room or on the couch since you need your sleep to be able to function the next day. Good luck!

 

[junebug17]

Yes! The issue for us is snoring...once I''m asleep I sleep like a rock, my problem is falling asleep, I seem to need absolute quiet. My husband breathes heavily and snores, which keeps me from initially falling asleep. I have tried ear plugs, but find them uncomfortable and they keep me awake!!! (I know, I''m a pill). Interestingly, my husband has started wearing ear plugs because he is a light sleeper and even slight noise wakes him up. Ever since he has started doing this, his snoring has lessened considerably, and he doesn''t move around as much, maybe because he he is sleeping more deeply? He says he feels much more rested when he wears the ear plugs. Occasionally, I have to ask him to move (sometimes this stops his snoring) but I feel badly doing this, he has to wake up early. Usually I just grab my pillows and head to the spare room! But I definitely don''t have to do it as much as I used to.



ETA: I just realized your poor husband is probably not getting a good night''s sleep either, if he is snoring, tossing and turning all night! Might be worth trying to figure out if there''s a specific reason for his restlessness. Until then, the air mattress might be the way to go!

 

[anchor31]

I like sleeping alone and I do sleep better alone, even on a couch. DH doesn''t snore and generally doesn''t disturb my sleep, but when I have a hard time sleeping I usually get up to sleep in the livingroom so I don''t disturb him with my tossing and turning. I''ve read about couple sleeping separately. It may seem odd to some people, but if it helps your health and your relationship... Why not?

 

[Amethyste]

The only time that my husband wakes me up is when he turns around in his sleep and his arm ends up in my face or if his legs are in my space.
So I retaliate with stealing all the covers so he''s naked and i know eventually he will wake up shivering...

 

[tyty333]

Definitly! When he turns over he flops and the whole bed bounces. If he does this say 3 times a night then
I''ve been woken up 3 times and it takes me a while to get back to sleep.

I am truly one of those
people who needs their sleep or I cant function the next day. Many nights I go to another room or to the
couch. It doesnt bother me as long as we both get a good nights sleep. I can definitly see why Lucy and
Dezi slept in different beds!

 

[gwendolyn]

YES.

I have a thread asking for natural sleep aid suggestions in Family, Home & Health because of this exact problem. I sleep best when we''re sleeping apart (how sad is that!), but when he uses the Breathe Right strips, they do make a big improvement. He has also tried throat and nasal sprays and will be going to see an ENT specialist, but very often I have had this problem, and usually opt to sleep on the couch or on our air mattress so that at least I can get *some* sleep during the night!

 

[VegasAngel]

Yes , my husband snores so loud he can probably be heard on the East coast. Usually I go & sleep with my daughter. I told him when we move maybe we should have our own bedrooms.

 

[kenny]

People who snore should get checked for sleep apnea.
It is a very serious, dangerous yet common condition that usually goes undiagnosed.
It is treatable.
Plus when dealt with the snoring goes down and relationships improve.

 

[Amethyste]

... Why is it always the woman who gets up and go sleep on the couch or elsewhere to get some relief???

Next time my husband keeps me up, I am waking him up and tell HIM to go sleep on the couch!!!! Not me!

 

[Vancity]

I''m a woman, and I never leave the boudoir...

The milli-second that I hear the first snort (or fart when it''s been Mexican night

), his nibs feels the wrath of my elbows of death, and it''s off to the guestroom for him

 

[Snicklefritz]

Actually, I sometimes keep FI up. I guess I roll around a lot. He tells me it''s like having a fidgety squirrel or a gerbil in the bed next to him

.

 

[Kaleigh]

DH snores a lot. He doesn''t have sleep anea. Drives me nuts!!

 

[Haven]

No, but the pup and three kitties are sometimes restless. In the winter the the kitties cuddle up together right on top of the pup (who sleeps curled up at my feet under the blanket). It''s super cute, but the furbaby huddle clump sure does take up a lot of space!

 

[junebug17]

Date: 9/16/2009 1:25:19 PM
Author: Amethyste
... Why is it always the woman who gets up and go sleep on the couch or elsewhere to get some relief???

Next time my husband keeps me up, I am waking him up and tell HIM to go sleep on the couch!!!! Not me!

Lol, you''re right Amethyste, it does seem to be the non-snorer who gets up and sleeps elsewhere! But I guess I do it because my husband gets up early for work, every single day, and I work part-time and don''t have to be until until 11:00, so I can grab some extra sleep in the a.m. if I need to.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I just heard about this on the radio. They claim that couples who sleep alone have better sleep than those who sleep in the same bedroom. I totally believe this. I am a light sleeper so I wake up if he snores, talks in his sleep, grinds is teeth (luckily rarely), gets up to go to the bathroom, comes to bed later or wakes up earlier than me...it is exhausting sometimes. If I really need my sleep he will sleep in the guest room.

 

[lyra]

My husband would wake me up or keep me awake for *years* with his snoring. Now he rarely snores at all. He has asthma, but the thing that has changed is he took up cycling in a big way. Perhaps all the cardio helped? He rides marathons and has really gotten in great shape over the last couple of years. If anything, I think I keep him awake with my tossing and turning. It''s probably been better since I injured my shoulder and can only sleep in one position now--tossing and turning is impossible because it hurts too much!

I do use a fan for white noise, and I think that helps me get to sleep. I used to use a white noise machine, and that helped a lot too.

 

[Bliss]

YES! DH has legs that feel like redwood trunks to me and when he throws them over my legs - I have to roll them off. Other than that, he is a very sweet person to sleep with. If I whisper, "I love you" he says it back...even in his sleep! And when he snores, if I nudge him - he rolls over obligingly.

My dad used to snore BIG TIME and my mom slept in another room because of it. I think that worked out best for both of them! They were both happier and well rested that way.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 9/16/2009 1:25:19 PM
Author: Amethyste
... Why is it always the woman who gets up and go sleep on the couch or elsewhere to get some relief???


Next time my husband keeps me up, I am waking him up and tell HIM to go sleep on the couch!!!! Not me!

He keeps telling me to do that, but honestly I feel absolutely terrible when thinking about waking him up to kick him out of bed--it''s not like he snores on purpose!

So I tend to just move myself, unless it''s been too many sleepless nights and really, really need the bed to sleep well. He claims he sleeps as well on the couch as in the bed, whereas the couch is very uncomfortable to me, so it would make sense to ask him to move if it didn''t make me feel so guilty. But, if I''m super-tired, then I usually can sleep anywhere that''s quiet, so most of the time I just leave him snoring in the bed and go elsewhere.

 

[beechezz]

Date: 9/16/2009 1:45:12 PM
Author: Vancity
I''m a woman, and I never leave the boudoir...

The milli-second that I hear the first snort (or fart when it''s been Mexican night

), his nibs feels the wrath of my elbows of death, and it''s off to the guestroom for him

ROFLMAO....Mexican Night!!!!

I also have trouble sleeping because I am a light sleeper, and I hear EVERYTHING! My hub is pretty good about rolling over once I give him the elbow, but I must say I do sleep better when I sleep alone. So sad.

 

[trillionaire]

LOL! Funny topic!

I''m another one who cannot sleep with light or sound. It makes me nuts, because future hubby will stay up playing video games and the PC screen is SO bright!

Fortunately, FH typically only snores when utterly EXHAUSTED! But he sleeps A LOT! Some nights, it''s all I can do to try to quiet him, but thankfully, they are few and far between. I''ve only gone to the couch once or twice, but usually to watch some tv or a movie or drink a glass of wine until I am ready to fall asleep. It would be useless to try to wake him to send him to the couch, he often wakes in a very startled manner, and sometimes flails a bit. If I elbowed him in the ribs, he''d be infuriated, as would I if he did it to me. Only love pokes in the bed

Even when he frustrates me with his sleeping, it is worth it when he realizes that I am on the other side of the bed and he pulls me close and snuggles.

And the look on his face melts my heart! Great big grin, but never even opens his eyes. It never gets old.

 

[Tuckins1]

Date: 9/16/2009 9:14:50 AM
Author: Luckyeshe
Tuckins, I sometimes sleep on the couch when FI gets bad! Normally he''s pretty good but sometimes....it''s really bad. He''s not one for tossing and turning, but definitely snoring. He wears a breathing strip everynite to help out but sometimes it doesn''t work and on those occassions, I sleep on the couch.


Is there a chance to get one of those mattress that doesn''t transfer movement? Can''t remember what it''s called, but it''s that foam stuff. That might help with the tossing and turning. And see if you could get him to do breathing strips at nite. If that doesn''t work, I see no problem with you sleeping in another room or on the couch since you need your sleep to be able to function the next day. Good luck!

We have a special mattress that doesn''t transfer motion.... It doesn''t help when the whole bed is shaking though. He said that if I am disturbed tonight that he would just go sleep on the couch. I can''t just go in another room and sleep because I have the fan and stuff....

 

[oddoneout]

I was going to post (like Kenny) about getting checked for sleep apnea if you/your partner is snoring but he beat me to it.

 

[Laila619]

No, I am so fortunate! My hub is like one of the only men I know who doesn't snore, thankfully. I am a bad sleeper too so I feel for you.

My recommendation? King size bed!

 

[Porridge]

Date: 9/16/2009 1:45:12 PM
Author: Vancity
I''m a woman, and I never leave the boudoir...


The milli-second that I hear the first snort (or fart when it''s been Mexican night

), his nibs feels the wrath of my elbows of death, and it''s off to the guestroom for him

Bah ha ha ha!

I am the deepest sleeper I know, so I''ll sleep through snores/rolling/anything!
How about seperate covers as well as the non-transfer mattress thing? That should cut down disturbances. Or maybe splash out on the biggest mattress possible?
One other thing - getting your hubby into a deep, exhausted sleep might do the trick. Maybe - ahem - "wear him out" before bed (what, I''m talking about housework), or one thing my FI does is listen to a guided meditation to get him to sleep. Works a charm, he sleeps like a rock after it.

 

[lulu]

Date: 9/16/2009 2:59:03 PM
Author: lyra
My husband would wake me up or keep me awake for *years* with his snoring. Now he rarely snores at all. He has asthma, but the thing that has changed is he took up cycling in a big way. Perhaps all the cardio helped? He rides marathons and has really gotten in great shape over the last couple of years. If anything, I think I keep him awake with my tossing and turning. It''s probably been better since I injured my shoulder and can only sleep in one position now--tossing and turning is impossible because it hurts too much!

I do use a fan for white noise, and I think that helps me get to sleep. I used to use a white noise machine, and that helped a lot too.

Snoring is definitely related to weight. When my DH keeps his weight under 200 pounds the snoring goes away. Unfortunately he''s usually over 200. When he''s out of town I sleep like a rock. It''s not just the snoring. He makes a lot of noise when he goes to the bathroom at night. I really think men are not raised to be quite as considerate of others as women.

 

[packrat]

I have massive sleep issues.

JD snores. Not so bad now-he''s lost a little weight and he had surgery on his deviated septum. One thing I found that worked for me with his snoring was to take one of my big toes and dig it into his calf muscle. Brace myself on the bed and dig like I''m heading for China.

We also got some type of memory foam pillows..the kind that is like, wavy-big on one end, dips in the middle and then there''s a smaller end..does that make sense? Tho, we both flip them over, so I''m not sure what good that does, but they sure are comfy. He flops around like he''s on fire too...especially when he just gets into bed and is trying to get comfortable. If we both go to bed at the same time, I always holler about it "Fer crying out loud I''m airborne over here knock it off!"

He''s a loud breather. We have a big fan going for white noise, and I can still hear him. I''m a light sleeper-I have to be ready to spring into action if the kids cry out or the fire alarm goes off or somebody breaks into the house. JD would just say "Hold on, I need a few minutes to wake up"

 

[Elmorton]

Ditto to if your spouse snores, a sleep test is a REALLY good idea. Both of my parents have apnea, and it''s very serious if not treated. The test itself is really painless, no biggie, and can even be done in your own home. If the snoring is really irregular, and the sleeper sounds like he''s gasping in between snores, that''s likely apnea.

I find that I can''t sleep WITHOUT my husband. When I was a teen, I started sleeping with a huge teddy bear - I just liked having something to hug to me at night. DH is kinda my equivalent to a body pillow, and I get really thrown off if the bed doesn''t have him in it.

 

[Shoopy]

OMG yes!

When I was younger I couldn''t sleep unless my dad was snoring. When he passed I slept with my mom in her room. She is the most quiet sleeper in the world and I got so used to it. FI is the loudest snorer I''ve ever met and I cannot get used to it. I''ve even noticed that after moving DD to her room she sleeps much better.