Wedding Does one *have* to have a bridal shower?

[Laila619]

I hate being the center of attention and am not sure I''d be comfortable having a bridal shower. But my future mother-in-law wants to throw me one. Did you all have one, or not? If you didn''t, did you wish you had?

 

[Gypsy]

Here''s my thread complaining about it:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-mother-is-throwing-me-a-shower-slight-vent-lots-of-whining.92364/

Here''s my thread after the fact:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/shower-update.93561/


I don''t think you have to have one, AT ALL, but it wasn''t so bad... and was even nice actually.

 

[gtn]

to answer your question, no, you don''t need one. It really is up to you.

We had a "Jack and Jill" instead. Basically, we invited both men and women and made a party out of it. It was tons of fun. Although we didn''t get a lot of gifts, I didn''t care since I wanted our friends to get to know each other before the wedding.

 

[DMBsGirl]

I too am dreading the idea of opening presents i asked for in front of a group of people and oohing and aahing over forks. My FH shared with me that his sis in law and mother want to throw me a shower. His sis in law knows how i feel about this and i hope they plan a coed shower. I''ve been to one other and it was loads of fun, drinking and eating and no present opening! You thank everyone together and just mingle with your guests. The presents are displayed (wrapped) on a table. I have my fingers crossed that mine will be a co-ed event!

 

[elrohwen]

Definitely not! I told my mom and FMIL that I absolutely didn't want one and they were ok with it.

However, I will say that if your FMIL is really looking forward to throwing one, you may not be able to refuse without hurting her feelings. I say let her do it, but ask if you can have veto power over what goes on at the shower. If you don't want lingerie, or games, or whatever, maybe she'll be ok with cutting out the things you don't like.

ETA: I think the gift thing is also important. In my case, we don't need anything because I already horde kitchen gadgets and have everything imaginable

. My mom and FMIL agreed that showers are mostly about giving gifts and since I don't need anything, there's not much point in having a shower. Maybe you could make the same argument to your FMIL and see if she decides a shower isn't worth it.

 

[Gwyn]

Nope, there is nothing saying you have to have one.

I feel the same way you do about being the center of attention and I am horrible about getting gifts so I opted out of mine. Though I am not married yet but I have yet to regret it.

To me, the whole purpose of a shower is gift giving. I belive the story has something to do with a couple who didnt have the money to get married and the girls family said no but the townspeople go together and "showered" them with gifts and such. And because of that they were allowed to wed. FI and I are both older and have lived together for a couple of years, the idea of having a shower for us just seemed like a little much.

On the flip side, I have been to some very nice/fun showers with games and nice themes and such. But even those eventually settle down and center upon gift giving at some point ( I think it is the norm at most showers to still open gifts in front of everyone like a 6year olds birthday party).

One thing you might want to try, if you still want the event but do not want to completely be center of attention is a jack and jilll shower. Which is one thrown for both you and your FI with both friends and family invited. Some people (not all so don''t worry about it too much) will see this as a couple trying to get even more gifts (especially if thrown by such a close family member) HOWEVER it is a good way to get the spotlight completely off you.