Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Does anyone feel like I do?

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
MrsK

MrsK

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 21, 2008
Messages
42
Hi Everyone!

I know we all have in common our love for diamonds, but sometimes i wonder whether the obsession isn''t a diversion from something else that''s amiss in (some of) our lives....?

I know that the more I think about how much we want a baby, and how long it is taking to concieve (or maybe we aren''t able to!?!) the more I think of ways to change my engagement ring....the setting, the centre stone.....etc

It''s just something that''s occured to me, lately......Does anyone feel similarly?
 
Yes. It can be a form of escape from tough things in life. I remember when sitting my university finals, I spent hours (HOURS) obsessing over which diamond earrings to buy - because it was the only thing to distract me from revision! Once I''d done the exams, I completely forgot about them and ended up never buying them
11.gif


Not saying that''s always the case. Everyone has interests and projects and hobbies, and diamonds/jewellery are no less valid than anything else. Most of the time people spend time and mental energy on it because they love it. But I do think, in some circumstances, it can be a distraction from things you don''t want to deal with in real life.
 
I think there is at least a grain of truth in what you say.
Creating beautiful jewelry is a "birth" of sorts. Note that some PSers call their gems their babies.
I know that PS and my gems have gotten me through the last couple of years of work issues and health problems I couldn''t change. A diversion yes and many times a very welcome one.
 
Hi MrsK,

It very well could be that you are seeking a diversion. I''ve been there too.

I did want to mention the TTC Thread in Family, Home and Health. We have a very supportive group there, if you''d like to join to talk about trying to conceive or just stop by to listen. If you already know about it, then please disregard.
1.gif
 
Hi Mrs K,

Although I truly do love diamonds, I definitely think Pricescope is a much needed diversion. We too are TTC, and it has been such an emotional roller-coaster. Also, my father has dementia, and watching him decline has been so very hard. I honestly think that I would crack up if I didn''t have a supportive husband and this forum to get my mind off of things.

Good luck to you in your journey-

Mary
 
I upgraded and changed my ring quite a few times. I remember someone asking me if the reason for the changes was more to do with something missing in my personal life. I took great offence at this at the time, but now my marriage has broken down completely I realise that this was indeed the case.
 
Date: 2/2/2010 8:35:51 AM
Author: Maisie
I upgraded and changed my ring quite a few times. I remember someone asking me if the reason for the changes was more to do with something missing in my personal life. I took great offence at this at the time, but now my marriage has broken down completely I realise that this was indeed the case.
Click to expand...
Ditto. I did not upgrade so much as think about projects etc. And after my marriage fell apart, jeweelry all of a sudden seemed so much less important. Not to say I don''t enjoy it still, but its taken a much more back burner sort of thing. I still visit this board because I enjoy the friendly atmosphere (and still enjoy jewelry) but in a more healthy way I think.
 
Date: 2/2/2010 8:35:51 AM
Author: Maisie
I upgraded and changed my ring quite a few times. I remember someone asking me if the reason for the changes was more to do with something missing in my personal life. I took great offence at this at the time, but now my marriage has broken down completely I realise that this was indeed the case.
Click to expand...
Ditto this. I remember my first upgrade very well. I was in college, he had already graduated and spent all his time working and playing video games. As usual there was a huge fight and I told him what an ******** he was and that I needed a bigger ring for putting up with all his crap. Well, many changes and five years later I can finally say that I am happy with what I have. Now, job stress has led me to redecorate the right hand
40.gif
 
I do... I think PS is a big distraction for me, purposefully. When I''m home sick, I live on PS. Its escapism, to a certain extent. And I think new projects (since I don''t have an e-ring and am a colored stone-er) are ways of improving things that I can''t improve in real life.
 
I think it gemstones and jewelry can be a nice hobby, and on PS we can share it with nice people- I mean, how many of our irl friends would understand the thrill of finally being able to get that one gemstone you''ve been eyeing forever? etc...

I also think, though, that if there aren''t healthy boundaries, it can be destructive- as with any hobby. Getting totally absorbed in any one thing, imo, is a very self-destructive coping mechanism. ''They'' say the hardest problem for a person to look at is themselves, ya know? That''s another reason why I love PS so much; it''s not just pretty things, it''s a community that genuinely reaches out to each other, and I think it helps
12.gif
 
I think any hobby or activity can fill a void in our lives or divert our attention from a reality that might not be all that pleasant. Personally I found PS to be a great source of friends and companionship when I moved to a new state and knew NO ONE! It was a rough time in my life and relationship and I was dealing with a lot of change and instability. PS was an outlet where I knew I''d see the same "faces" every day, get support and laugh, and that was comforting to me. A lot of us who join when we''re younger feel like we grow up on PS to a certain extent. We discover it when we''re in the midst of our first real love affair, when we''re fantasizing about diamond rings and the perfect proposal. We find support here for good things and bad, and for every major and minor event that follow. And of course, throughout that time we''re looking at wedding bands, wedding jewelry, push presents, anniversary upgrades, etc. Sure, some of our desired changes (upgrades, etc) can be attributed to break downs in our personal lives, but I think there are an equal amount of upgrades and purchases inspired by positive events such as the birth of a child, a big birthday or a promotion at work.
 
Date: 2/2/2010 8:47:52 AM
Author: asscherisme






Date: 2/2/2010 8:35:51 AM
Author: Maisie
I upgraded and changed my ring quite a few times. I remember someone asking me if the reason for the changes was more to do with something missing in my personal life. I took great offence at this at the time, but now my marriage has broken down completely I realise that this was indeed the case.
Click to expand...
Ditto. I did not upgrade so much as think about projects etc. And after my marriage fell apart, jeweelry all of a sudden seemed so much less important. Not to say I don't enjoy it still, but its taken a much more back burner sort of thing. I still visit this board because I enjoy the friendly atmosphere (and still enjoy jewelry) but in a more healthy way I think.
Click to expand...

Thank you both for being honest about this, instead of being silent - - or in denial.



The truth is this: of course we all love jewelry, it's why we came here to start with. But if you wouldn't marry the 'love of your life, without the bling, then a bigger, better, brighter diamond won't fix what is wrong with you. Or your partner. And buying something special as a substitute for what's missing won't work either.

The PS jewelry buff falls into at least one category:

For some, jewelry is a hobby. There are a few here on PS who fit that mold. And as long as they have the means, more power to them.

For most, jewelry is a daydream, a fantasy, a beautiful way to while away some time gazing at gorgeous stones and settings. It's an education so that we know how to buy well when the opportunity arises.

For a few, jewelry is a distraction. A retreat. (Personally, I prefer to 'retreat' into a book.
2.gif
)

And there will always be those for whom the Ring is a Statement of their self worth.

I don't frequent the threads that are non-stop stones or projects. I can't compete, and don't need to feed my lust for beautiful bling. I stayed away from the 'home' threads before I bought mine. And I don't think I should be on the TTC at my age.
9.gif
So I hang out in the Hangout.
 
Nope, I don't feel that way because I rarely buy jewelry and although I love it, it's not what fills my life. I'm still wearing the same eng. ring I've had for 16 years (that is a LONG time - for some reason I calculated it as 14 when I thought about it the other day. . .time flies!) and am happy with that. Proud, in fact.
1.gif


I do think that the lack of satisfaction with what a person has can (but not always) be indicative of other unfullfilled facets of one's life, including the desire to continually find the "perfect" ring to find happiness.

I'm changing out my pendant, which will be my first major upgrade in YEARS (since I bought my larger studs in '07)! If I didn't have the opportunity to find a larger stone, I'd be happy with my current one and wouldn't obsess about options I have before me.

ETA - I want to add that PS is a super fun diversion for me, but the need to buy isn't! I've seen too many rings come and go.
2.gif
 
Oh, and I want to add on that for me I''m done having kids and found nurturing other living things has filled my life. Since my younger son entered 1st grade, I''ve developed a passion for fish. It''s satisfying watching them happily swim around in their tanks.
1.gif
 
PS and jewllery has been a welcome distraction and de-stresser for me.

First it kept my mind occupied when waiting for the Long distance part of BF and my relaionship to finally end.
Then it helped me relax during my finnal, and very busy and stressful, year of uni.

Now I guess it just fills my day and my mind as I am yet to find a job after uni. It stops me feeling quite so misserable and useless.
 
I definitely think you''re on to something Mrs. K.
 
I think it depends on the person. I researched rings for about a year and figured out what I loved so I''m happy with my ring. Some women may not have gotten to pick out their rings and it takes them a while to get it right. And for a few it might be a distraction from real life, whether that''s healthy or unhealthy.
 
That''s so interesting and maybe there''s some correlation there. Very understandable. I am sending you lots of baby dust in the meantime! I usually stop all my diamond projects when there''s something really huge going on my life. Those events take up so much of my focus that diamond projects get booted way down the list. But then when things go back to their regular swing of things, I go back to having fun with sparklies and dreaming up new projects.
 
Ditto to PS and jewelry being a hobby and a wanton fantasy. I know I will never have the means to buy most of the beauties that come through PS. I also don''t live in an area where I can see them IRL. So, I ogle here. My "big" plans are things like a .5 ctw 5 stone band. To most here it''s a drop in the bucket but to me it''s a big deal. I still like to know HOW to buy jewelry even though my purchases are small. My projects are all to commemorate special occasions and don''t coincide with rough patches so I think I have a healthy relationship with bling.

That being said, I did go through an obsessive hobby when we did have a very rough patch in our marriage. When I finally realized that the hobby wasn''t helping the marriage I gave it up and spent more time on the marriage.


I think PS has a kind and welcoming atmosphere where all of us feel comfortable. It makes sense that when dealing with problems IRL, you''d want to come to a place like this and feel better. We also have a great variety of people and opinions that can sometimes help us put our problems into perspective or find resolutions. But, the more time you spend in a place like this, I think the more likely you are to fall into the planning, researching, buying phase from simply being around it.
 
I don''t think so for me, but I know exactly what you mean. For me I had waited so long to get an e-ring (15 years of marriage with nada poopkins) that I got more and more obsessy about it over the years - that I NEEEEEDED it to be fulfilled as it was some sort of romantic promise that I had yet to receive. I had so many romantic fantasies about what it would represent and what it would be like that I lost touch with reality a bit - but it wasn''t a replacement for something else - there was no lack of love in my relationship, no yearning for children (we''d already had the 3). It was strictly and only about the ring and the diamond and that''s it.

NOW I don''t obsess anymore - though I will admit that not having one on my finger again is making me a bit green with envy over even the tiniest or worst cut diamonds I see lol - seriously! So I went overboard and bought an impractical diamond and now I want another ring that is more in the realm of "I can afford to lose this" so that I don''t have to worry about it lol
 
I got my ring as a substitute for what was missing - but what was missing was a diamond!!! lol After all of those years the fantasy had grown too large - but the fix was still just a diamond - but a bigger one :P

I will admit that even knowing what I know now - there is a sizable chunk of me that wishes I''d just gotten an average 3/4 carat oval all those years ago and been done with it.
 
Hi Again, my friends,

Thank you so much for sharing with such honesty. I certainly agree that PS is a destresser and a hobby for us all and I love that we all approach it from a different perspective. For those of you who shared more personal journeys and trials, I''m particularly grateful. Thank you for sharing from your hearts. I''m the kind of person who treasures this sort of of reaching out. I do feel after this thread I definately am part of a community that cares.

Loves Vintage and Mary M - thank you especially. I didn''t know about the TTC and in fact, all my friends seem to fall pregnant just by holding their partners'' hands, so it sounds like exactly what I need - to chat with people going through the same thing. I will definately check it out!

Sending love and best wishes to ALL of you. May we all continue to ensure our love of jewelry in a healthy way.

XOX
 
....and Bliss, thank you so much for your ''Baby Dust''
36.gif
 
Well I started on this website during a really difficult time in my life, and that''s when I fell in love with diamonds. So the obsession did start when there was a void, but I think my life is pretty complete right now, and one of the things I really miss is that I don''t have as much time as I used to have for this forum! I''m having a hard time keeping up with everything that is going on. Initially diamonds, this forum was akin to comfort food. But that''s not why I stayed!
 
I started looking for info on e-rings, and that''s still primarily why I am here (haven''t found the ring yet though).

Then I discovered a love of coloured stones, and bought about 20 in 3 months!
12.gif


I''m now in the process of setting them all, but have calmed down on the buying front.

I don''t feel it''s filling a void in my life at all but rather adding sparkle to my already wonderful life.

I can safely say that I will stay on for support in the tough times (for they will surely come) because you guys are really very nice people
1.gif
 
I started visiting the forum daily when I was going through a tough time personally, and I must say, it''s a great form of escapism. It seems like all the negative things in life (unhappy marriages and relationships, sickness, death, the recession) isn''t as present on PS. It''s a place to escape from all of that. And I''m grateful for that!
 
I use PS as an escape from reality and like the distraction. Most people that I know are not into jewelry.
 
I don''t think I use jewelry to fill a void in my life, but maybe I''m just in denial. I''ve loved jewelry forever and started buying it as soon as I got my first job at 16. I still have all the junk I bought. It''s all real, but not very good quality stuff. When I discovered PS, I was in jewelry heaven. I did pick out my e-ring too hastily and have been sorry about that, hence the two wedding sets. But like other people mentioned, jewelry has represented good things to me. My husband has been very good about buying jewelry for me for birthday and Christmas over the past 5 years. In fact, I start to think I''m almost done with collecting jewelry! I have a wislist that''s becoming shorter. But I''ll always enjoy looking at all the beautiful stuff on here.
 
For me, PS has been an escape from my day to day life, like reading a book, I get to know about different people and learn more about something that interest me like jewelry. I haven''t thought about it as a replacement for something missing in my life. I like looking at jewelry and sometimes, I just don''t want to go to a B&M to get mobbed by SAs. And this forum helps me enjoy sparklies and meet knew people and whenever asked, impart some support and advice.
 
I can see how that would be true for some, but not for me.

I tend to stay on the social sub-forums of PS, I don''t look at the bling very often.

PS just gives me something to look at, and people to "talk" to, on the internet.

MrsK, I too am sending you baby dust! (BTW, in October, I''ll be a Mrs.K also
9.gif
)
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top