Does anyone else hate their b-day?

[Christina...]

I've never liked my birthday, not because it means I'm getting older, or another year is gone, but because it never fails that something bad happens on my birthday. It's like it's jinxed. I've always enjoyed the days just before or the day after, but never never the day of. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[armywife13]

I don't enjoy my birthday either. I hate the attention birthdays creates. Plus, like you, something always seems to go wrong with whatever plans have been made, if any are made at all. The last three years my husband has either been deployed or gone training...then there was the year he forgot. Haha. The only thing I like about my birthday is that I can usually use it as an excuse for some bling.

 

[Christina...]

That's exactly it! I don't like the attention, the constant phone calls and text and invites, all this pressure to make it great when I just want to be left alone. WOW! That sounds really ridiculous! I'm complaining that people love me and want to make my day great. I'm such an ass. And just after you posted that your husband gets deployed on your b-day. I'm sorry armywife!

 

[partgypsy]

That's funny, my husband had the same problem. I remember when first started going out with him, him telling me that, and me explaining that it's a psychological phenomenon that he just notices more because it is his birthday (the yellow volkswagon effect). The following month, i'm with him on his birthday, and I get a phone call -that my Dad just had a heart attack. I can't remember everything bad that's happened, but most of it has been weather-related, including a really early hurricane and storms which cause power outages. We eloped 2 days before his birthday, so when we had an informal party at our house to celebrate with friends of course there was a freak storm that cut out the power (we moved the party to the front porch and lit candles). It has became a running joke.
I have to admit the last couple birthdays have been rather uneventful. I am worried that my daughter might have caught his strange luck with his birthday. As she was getting ready to be born the storm clouds were gathering overhead. And while we were recovering we got the mother of all ice storms which shut down our town for the next week.

 

[partgypsy]

Sorry about the bad news. Maybe you can pick an arbitrary day and celebrate that day instead of your birthday? Something to break the bad luck?

 

[ame]

Mine's a holiday and ALWAYS is forgotten by family and blown off by others. ALWAYS. Someone has to remind my parents every year, as they can't seem to remember it since my brother arrived on this planet.

 

[Christina...]

Thanks part gypsy! I've had the same luck as your husband. I had a friend crash his car on my bday and then later die of the injuries. Four yrs ago, DHs best friend took me to purchase a new car on my bday and then that night was hospitalized and died a few days later. Those of course are the two most significant, but in the past there has been lost jobs, break ups....(who breaks up with someone on their bday??) expensive care repairs, one year, we found out the the IRS had mistakenly put a lein on our account, fortunately that got worked out in a couple days and the bank realized they had entered the wrong account information, but a very scary day none the less. They just never seem to happen on the day before or the day after....or maybe I'm just connecting these events to my bday and just as many painful or unexpected things happen on any other day too, they just go unnoticed because you don't associate them with a day that is supposed to be happy. Last year was happy as I remember it, so maybe the bad luck has been passed...I just hope not to my DS!

 

[Christina...]

Mine's a holiday and ALWAYS is forgotten by family and blown off by others. ALWAYS. Someone has to remind my parents every year, as they can't seem to remember it since my brother arrived on this planet.

That makes me sad Ame! My brother was born on Christmas Eve and I've always felt bad for him. People either forget in all the excitement and hustle and bustle, or his birthday gifts are combined christmas/birthday presents. How bad would that suck?? My DH, DS and nephew are all Dec babies, and at some point we started celebrating them all together around mid month and it seems to be much happier for all of them.

 

[Autumnovember]

I don't like birthdays that much either.

I'm the baby of our group of friends so when everyone else has already celebrated their birthdays (25th) it gets old and boring by the time mine comes around. Besides that, I can only remember a couple birthdays that were actually good ones. The rest of them sucked. For my 25th this year, I don't think I'll be doing anything.

Mine falls on Thanksgiving (favorite holiday) sometimes and other times on thanksgiving eve so I don't mind the timing

 

[Enerchi]

My brother was born on Christmas Eve and I've always felt bad for him. People either forget in all the excitement and hustle and bustle, or his birthday gifts are combined christmas/birthday presents. How bad would that suck??

This is my life. Dec 24 is just brushed over and forgotten in the excitement of (what I refer to as...) "the day AFTER" ! It does suck - big time - you are always forgotten, no one remembers and if you have friends who would give a gift, its the left mitt or left shoe or the top half of something... and gee... guess what you are getting tomorrow??? ARGH! Same with something stupid like wrapping paper - anything but green or red!!!

Sounds pretty petty in the overall scheme of life and the big picture, but after several years... it wears thin. So yes, I'm with you Christina - as much as I love the date, I also hate it too!

(and if today is your birthday - HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope nothing but good things come your way!!! )

 

[zoebartlett]

I can't say I hate my birthday but the older I get, the less excited about it I get. I always wonder if I've accomplished everything over the past year I had planned. Yeah, no pressure there!

My birthday's on a holiday and I've lost track of the amount of times I've heard someone say, "Oh, you're a __________ baby!" I hated it when I was younger because the festivities of that holiday always interfered with birthday party plans. I always felt gypped. Now, I couldn't care less but back then I didn't like it one bit.

 

[ame]

Mine's a holiday and ALWAYS is forgotten by family and blown off by others. ALWAYS. Someone has to remind my parents every year, as they can't seem to remember it since my brother arrived on this planet.

That makes me sad Ame! My brother was born on Christmas Eve and I've always felt bad for him. People either forget in all the excitement and hustle and bustle, or his birthday gifts are combined christmas/birthday presents. How bad would that suck?? My DH, DS and nephew are all Dec babies, and at some point we started celebrating them all together around mid month and it seems to be much happier for all of them.

His is 3 weeks before mine, and I am a bit older than him, but I have been pretty darn bitter about how little they seem to be able to recall about it being my birthday. We went to Vegas for his 21st, which happened to be during MY birthday, and not one time was mine EVER mentioned. The ONLY reason they knew or were reminded was at dinner literally ON my birthday when I ordered a huge drink and got carded and the waitress said Happy Birthday it's on me! and my mom and dad looked like someone knocked the wind out of them bec AGAIN they had forgotten. So generally now "I don't have birthdays".

 

[Enerchi]

Ame, that completely sucks so much more than my whiny moan above! I'm so sorry for you, that your brothers day seems more important than yours that's just rude!

Let us know when it is and we'll all make a lovely huge fuss for you

 

[diamondringlover]

That's exactly it! I don't like the attention, the constant phone calls and text and invites, all this pressure to make it great when I just want to be left alone. WOW! That sounds really ridiculous! I'm complaining that people love me and want to make my day great. I'm such an a$$. And just after you posted that your husband gets deployed on your b-day. I'm sorry armywife!

Wow I always thought it was just me I feel the same way I hate the attention and the phone calls...but I think mine stems from childhood, my birthday is on Dec 30 and it got forgot just about every year, I use to get my birthday presents either at Christmas or I remember one year it was on my sisters birthday in March....so I guess I grew up with it just being another day for me......I make sure my kids feel pretty darn special on their birthdays, I dont want them to feel left out like I did...and my oldest son bday is Dec 26 my youngest is April 11 so they both are close to holidays....

 

[Tuckins1]

Never fails, I am always sick on my birthday.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

As someone already said, it is an excuse to buy some bling, and other than that, I don't care about it at all.

 

[Christina...]

enerchi Great point about the wrapping paper! I always make sure to buy special bday paper for all the Dec bdays, and this year DH asked me why I bother, it just gets ripped off anyway. But I always feel bad when it looks like a big pile of Christmas gifts instead of bday gifts. I also feel bad, because DS bday is on Dec 7th and somehow it has become tradition that we put up the xmas tree on his bday every year, so if you add the pile of bday gifts wrapped in xmas paper, it feels more like Christmas morning than a bday party. hhmmm, may have to retire this tradition!!! The upside is, DS says that Dec feels like a month full of gifts for him, because they start arriving at the beginning of the month and some are still straggling in just before New Years. And yes, today is my birthday, so thank you very much. So far so good!

ame I don't feel so bad about mine anymore. At least people don't forget it, but hey, everyone looks for an excuse for a BBQ and drinks in the dead of summer! I second letting us know when your bday is, so that we can help make it an extra special day for you. I'm sorta angry at your parents right now....your brother too!

diamondrnglover Dec 30th, wow, that's another tough one, everybody is thinking about the big party the day after! I asked my mom this afternoon if she had any insight as to why I disliked my bday so much and she said that when I was a kid it was that I hated being the center of attention and felt more comfortable just having my favorite meal cooked and maybe a trip to the beach with a friend or two. I remembered that she threw a surprise party for me one year when I was 13 or so and I ran from the house crying and they had to all calm me day because I was hyperventilating. I guess I still sort of feel that way, I never throw parties, I just don't like the pressure, I love to have a couple couples over for dinner and wine, but add a few more to the mix and it's a party and I'm completely overwhelmed. I do the same thing with my son, we've always just invited a few friends over for the night or to a movie, event or something and called it good. I wonder if he feels like he's missing out?

Zoe: yeah, I wonder if underneath it all the real reason I don't like it is because I feel like time is slipping away and I'm not accomplishing all that I want. I don't think that is it, but maybe that's because I don't want to be that honest with myself either.

 

[Christina...]

As someone already said, it is an excuse to buy some bling, and other than that, I don't care about it at all.

wanna trade a lovely ferret for your gorgeous studs?

 

[Christina...]

Never fails, I am always sick on my birthday.

I'm always sick on Christmas Eve! It's the pressure, I swear it!

 

[armywife13]

That's exactly it! I don't like the attention, the constant phone calls and text and invites, all this pressure to make it great when I just want to be left alone. WOW! That sounds really ridiculous! I'm complaining that people love me and want to make my day great. I'm such an a$$. And just after you posted that your husband gets deployed on your b-day. I'm sorry armywife!

No need to be upset or feel bad, it comes with the territory...you get used to it! On a positive note he usually let's me pick my present and have a larger budget those years. Hahaha. Gotta look at the positive side!

I agree with you, I really hate the pressure and attention on birthdays. The way I see it, it is my day that I should be able to enjoy and that attention keeps me from enjoying it. I would be completely content with just having a day where I can kick my feet up and relax, no chores, cooking, dirty diapers. Now that sounds amazing!

ETA-just saw your post about all the horrible events around your birthday, I am so sorry! It is hard to find reasons to celebrate when your are worried about what catastrophic events might occur. I hope things turn around for you and that the birthday bad luck goes away. This one has to be a little bit better, after all, you did get a ferret.

 

[Mayk]

Me 7 days before Christmas.. while now it's not a big deal when I was young I hated it... I always got gifts that were wrapped in Christmas paper and most likely I was told they were for both my birthday and Christmas.. it was a downer as a kid.. now.. it's not too bad.. I've gotten older and more mature ... NOT!!!!

 

[Kaleigh]

Mine is a 1/26 and it used to always fall on The Super bowl. Football fan now but not when I was growing up. The one good thing about it was that if I didn't get what I wanted for Xmas, I would get it in January...

I just turned 50 and there was a lot of like what are you doing? Huge expectations on peoples minds. I celebrated it quietly with the people that mean the most to me....

 

[ame]

Oh no need to feel bad! I just needed to share in the frustration!!!! I don't blame my brother so much, as I don't think it's really his fault. He's the baby.

Funny the Dec 30 day came up. That's my dad's and my cousin's and we make it a big deal to separate the bday from xmas.

 

[tyty333]

Happy Birthday Christina! Hope all is going well!

Ame - this is for your parents not remembering your birthday (while making a big deal of your brother's) -

 

[kenny]

I'm not much for birthdays, or any holidays, really.
Everyone who knows my birthday knows to ignore it, even my SO ... finally.

He loves all the holidays and I honor him by celebrating them, just not my birthday.

 

[mogster]

I'm in the camp that hates my birthday because it's the week of Christmas. While everyone else gets to celebrate theirs at the beach or at the lake or at a picnic or at the county fair, I'm stuck with ice skating and it's usually cold and rainy. Also, the small child in me loathes Christmas-slash-birthday presents (though in reality, I'm grateful for any and all presents) because I feel cheated that I have to think about people twice a year while my day gets consolidated with a holiday.

 

[Missy]

I'm sorry all of you do not enjoy your birthday. Big hugs and belated happy birthdays to you all! I hope you all have an amazing birthday this year and all the years to come!

This might sound crazy but for all of you whose birthday falls on a date that is less than convenient/happy/coincides with major holidays would you consider "changing" your birthday? My dh and I have a friend who did just that- his birthday fell on a holiday and he had enough of not having his birthday be special so he changed it! He made it a full 6 months later (not sure why he did that LOL but maybe to get away from the bad memory of that date) and all these years later that is still when he celebrates his birthday. As do all his family and friends.

 

[Christina...]

armywife Closing in on the final hours now and nothing traumatic! DS just sang Happy Birthday to me, after ignoring me all day I can only assume that he wants cake now!

Mayk wow I had no idea that there were so many Dec bdays! And everyone seems to hate them. I have wondered though, if DS wouldn't rather celebrate his birthday in the summer instead, but he's assured me that he likes all the gift he receives all month long. After having a brother with a Dec 24th bday, I"ve learned to try really hard to separate his bday from Christmas, so maybe it's working! I totally agree with the Christmas/birthday paper thing! I mean really!? Is it too hard to pick up a roll of Bday paper??

Kaleigh I completely agree, I would much rather spend the day quietly with the people closest to me, and that is exactly what I did this year, and for the first time I don't feel completely guilty for it. I shut off the phone as soon as I woke up, clicked the 'like' button on all the FB bday wishes and spent the rest of the day quietly at home. DH came home with cake and flowers and we fired up the grill, mixed a brandy and started a fire and have spent the rest of the evening being lazy. Bliss! I'll call my parents and in-laws tomorrow and thank them for allowing me a quiet day with my family, because really, that's the best gift I could have gotten.

ame I understand what your saying, but that's the frustrating part.... that you make an effort to separate Christmas and New Years from your dad and cousins birthday so that they feel special and remembered yet, they can't seem to make the same effort for you. As much as I insist that I wish people would just forget about my bday, I've decided that it would be worse if no one remembered.


tytyAwww, thanks so much! It's been fun reading about how others feel about their bdays, and it's certainly put it all in perspective for me!

kenny DH has finally begun to celebrate my bday a few days ahead of time too, and then the actual day we don't make a big fuss about, cake, flowers, wine, early to bed, perfect! What don't you like about your bday and holidays?

mogsterI can totally understand what your saying. Since DS bday is in Dec and we live in the NE I've felt like his bdays were less eventful than summer bdays. And I totally agree that people should make the effort to seperate birthday/holidays. I'm sure I would feel exactly the same if every gift I received was combined with some other holiday. It amazes me that so many of you have had the same experiences. I wonder why people don't seem able to separate the two events. Do you think it's because people are spending more during the holidays, so to add another gift to an already long list feels like another expense at an already expensive time? Or do you think it's because it's such a busy time of year that people just don't want to take the time to add an another event to the calendar? Either way it seems quite selfish, and immature.

Missy I've asked my 12 yo if he would rather celebrate his bday in the summer, but so far he's happy being a Dec baby. But as I mentioned, I grew up watching my brother celebrate on xmas eve and saw first hand the injustice of it, so I try very hard to be sure that my little guy feels special on his big day, so maybe I'm doing something right and it's working. Thanks for the bday wishes!

 

[texaskj]

Christina, thanks for starting this thread and thanks to everyone who's added. I'm not alone!
I've gone through spells where people die on my birthday. Nobody close to me, but friends of friends, co-worker's relatives, enough to kind of freak you out. My ex-husband's birthday was three weeks after mine. He had the habit of forgetting mine, but expecting me to make a big deal for his. He even argued with me about the date! Adults who want everyone to make a big deal out of their birthdays drive me nuts; grow up already.

 

[monarch64]

My husband also hates his birthday and will rarely tell anyone when it is no matter how much they prod and pry. Bad things have happened on his day as well since he was a child... in a way it is good because he has zero expectations so when close loved ones do make an effort to wish him a happy day or whatever he does really appreciate it.