Home Do you say Hello First?

[D&T]

Just curious, if you are the type to say hello first to strangers/new people you don''t know whether it be at school, church, work, events etc. what kind of "small talk" do you start off with? or are you the type to wait for others to say hello to you first? DH says he has a hard time saying hello first due to lack of courage or whatever

I''m quite the opposite IRL

 

[Shoopy]

I''m an extremely shy person so when I''m around people I don''t know, I make it a point to introduce myself first. I''m trying to work on getting out of my shell. It gives me anxiety but I find that the more I put myself out there, the easier it gets.

 

[Kaleigh]

People smile at me, I smile back.. If someone makes small talk to me, I will chat with them. But in general, I don''t say hi first.

 

[Steel]

No.

I have very little interest in making small talk. If I am approached fine but I don''t do any approaching. I have better things to do.

 

[Steel]

Ack. It said 'you don't have permission to perform this action' so I hit submit gain.

 

[D&T]

eeek.. didn''t realize I said "first, first first" so many times in a sentence duh me...

 

[Sabine]

It depends, if they are people that I think I will see more of in the future and would really like to get to know, then I will approach and try to make small talk, but I really hate doing it.

If they are people I will most likely not see again or not have any sort of relationship with, I will most happily skip the small talk and stay by myself.

 

[choyoyo]

I will say "Hello", "Good morning" etc to people I walk past to on the street to work, but won''t make small talk with them at stop lights.

As far as small talk at events, I will generally only initiate if I see them on a regular basis, but am quite happy to exist in my own little bubble with my friends/SO. If they initiate conversation first, I will continue it, unless I find them off putting or weird.

 

[IloveAsschers13]

I won''t really initiate chat with anyone in just any situation, but if I am at some sort of mandatory meeting for a class or something, I will definitely talk to people. I do say hello or good morning to random people. But MY MOM is the worst. She comes home from the grocery store after talking to people in line and finds all about their families and their life and their problems...

Her latest is her new insurance helper- she found out all about his cancer and where he lives and his family. She says that people are just attracted to her and think she looks like she is good at listening haha.

 

[strmrdr]

out and about I will say hi and hello a lot...

At events I tend to hide!
I cant remember names at all and get real embarrassed about it.
Even people I have known for years it sometimes takes 30 seconds for the right name to pop up and sometimes it is the wrong name.
I have no memory for faces either to put a name to.

 

[soocool]

I talk to everyone! If I am waiting in line at the grocery stores, I talk to the people in front of me and in back of me. I ask the seniors if they need help reaching something or if they need help to their car. I talk to school parents whether I know them or not. I talk to any SA in any store and people I meet walking my dog. I don''t mnd talking to strangers

Therefore, I have made loads of acquaintances who remember me and have done favors for me. An older lady I help to her car at the supermarket saw me when she was with her son and her son was a roofer and came to replace some lost roofing shingles for free. Another woman I met family owns a landscaping business and they waive delivery fees for me, etc. I befriended one SA at the GAP who is willing to buy stuff for me with her discount. So talking to strangers has worked well for me.

 

[Efe]

Date: 5/17/2009 6:53:29 PM
Author: strmrdr
out and about I will say hi and hello a lot...

At events I tend to hide!
I cant remember names at all and get real embarrassed about it.
Even people I have known for years it sometimes takes 30 seconds for the right name to pop up and sometimes it is the wrong name.
I have no memory for faces either to put a name to.

This is exactly what I do. I talk to other people all of the time when I am out and about, but hate cocktail/event type chat.

I am also bad about remembering names and it is worse when I have know someone forever and I know their name but cannot think of it right then. I then mind panic and cannot come up with it until I am driving home in the car. It seems the more I work on it, the harder it becomes. Very embarrassing.

 

[D&T]

Date: 5/17/2009 6:58:25 PM
Author: soocool
I talk to everyone! If I am waiting in line at the grocery stores, I talk to the people in front of me and in back of me. I ask the seniors if they need help reaching something or if they need help to their car. I talk to school parents whether I know them or not. I talk to any SA in any store and people I meet walking my dog. I don''t mnd talking to strangers

Therefore, I have made loads of acquaintances who remember me and have done favors for me. An older lady I help to her car at the supermarket saw me when she was with her son and her son was a roofer and came to replace some lost roofing shingles for free. Another woman I met family owns a landscaping business and they waive delivery fees for me, etc. I befriended one SA at the GAP who is willing to buy stuff for me with her discount. So talking to strangers has worked well for me.

-ooohhhh, nice benefit

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I''m usually am fairly friendly, outgoing and will initiate contact. . .but, whether I engage in small talk depends upon my mood! Some days, I''m entirely in the mood to chit-chat and other days, I just want to be left alone.

Like IloveAsscher''s mom, people tell me all kinds of their life problems and one person, soon after I met, told me such horribly sad/traumatic stuff, I ended up having nightmares!

 

[somethingshiny]

I say Hi to nearly everyone. I am a very friendly person and I don''t consider it "going out of my way" to be kind to someone.

I''m the person who helps the old ladies find their ''lost'' cars in parking lots. I chase the families down when they lose their sippy cups. I even hunt through people loading their cars when I find a dropped item. (actually I found a sweet potato plant today and correctly located the lady on the first try!)

As for what I say, it''s usually ''hello''. If I''m in the garden section, I''ll talk plants. If I''m at the DMV, it becomes talk of long lines, etc. At church, it''s whatever event is upcoming, etc. I do pride myself in knowing a little bit about a lot of things. That way, you can always make conversation.

I''m not looking to make friends. I really only have a few close friends and lots of acquaintances. But, I enjoy conversation in general so I usually enjoy my time talking to strangers.

 

[Samantha Red]

I talk to anybody anywhere. At school I was always the one to speak to the kid sat on their own who appeared to have no friends. The lovely thing is 30 years down the line I have had people contact me through Facebook to say how grateful they were for that.

These days my DH constantly berates me for how much I talk to people. We live in a very small village (400 residents) and a 20 minute dog walk can take me 45 minutes by the time I have chatted to multiple people.

People are very interesting I find

 

[innerkitten]

I do say hello. Strangers smile at me a lot too which I like, and say good morning when we pas on the street etc.

 

[Bia]

Most of the time I'm oblivious, in my own world. I am very friendly (or I WANT to be) but it's not always the vibe I give off from the get. A lot of people say when they first meet me I seem hard to approach, but I never try to be that way, so it's weird

I don't know what I'm doing wrong! I am shy, so I'm sure that has a lot to do with it.

So no, I don't always say hi first.

 

[tlh]

I''m a weirdo, and for whatever weird reason I think smiling and saying hello to those around me on the street, doesnt'' really make me safer, but it forces me to be aware of my surroundings and those arround me... if that makes any sense at all... so it makes me FEEL safer.

But I hate having small talk w/ those I don''t know. I usually walk really fast, but will make eye contact, smile and say hello as I pass... and I usually am first to say hello, but not always first to smile.

 

[Bia]

I do try my damndest to make small talk with some of the neighbors in the elevator. You know it''s not good when you''re talking weather all the time. Sometimes I just don''t have anything interesting to say...

 

[Lauren8211]

I never say "hi" first. WAYYYYY to shy. I''m scared they''ll think I''m weird or something.

I dread small talk. I stay home from things that I know I''ll have to small talk at. I have social anxiety, methinks.

 

[D&T]

Date: 5/18/2009 12:39:33 PM
Author: tlh
I''m a weirdo, and for whatever weird reason I think smiling and saying hello to those around me on the street, doesnt'' really make me safer, but it forces me to be aware of my surroundings and those arround me... if that makes any sense at all... so it makes me FEEL safer.

But I hate having small talk w/ those I don''t know. I usually walk really fast, but will make eye contact, smile and say hello as I pass... and I usually am first to say hello, but not always first to smile.

lol..

 

[akw94]

Date: 5/17/2009 4:38:26 PM
Author:D&T
Just curious, if you are the type to say hello first to strangers/new people you don''t know whether it be at school, church, work, events etc. what kind of ''small talk'' do you start off with? or are you the type to wait for others to say hello to you first? DH says he has a hard time saying hello first due to lack of courage or whatever

I''m quite the opposite IRL

Hi,
I am not usually the first to stay hello or to initiate small talk. I''m fairly shy and not so outgoing, but I''d like to be better. It''s interesting b/c I moved to a place where the culture is definitely to say hi to everyone you see, walk into the dr.''s office or elevator and announce a friendly hello to everyone, kiss on the cheek when meeting someone or just to greet each other. It''s been quite a change for me, someone used to and likes their own personal space and rarely speaks to others I don''t know. I actually find that I like and appreciate this culture much more than my own. It''s friendly, warm and just nice to have someone say hi, smile or greet with a hug and kiss on the cheek. It''s still a little odd for me, and I still don''t usually initiate, but at least, I am more used to it now.
I''m still not so great with the small talk, but I always try.

 

[butterfly 17]

I usually say hello first or at least smile, except for the security guard at my hospital. He annoys me because he always asks me for my ID, while I have my scrubs on, and I have been there for over 7 years.

He will let a bunch of visitors go by, but stops me every time!

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Yes. And in professional situations I extent my hand.

cheers--Sharon

 

[D&T]

Date: 5/26/2009 9:25:03 AM
Author: butterfly 17
I usually say hello first or at least smile, except for the security guard at my hospital. He annoys me because he always asks me for my ID, while I have my scrubs on, and I have been there for over 7 years.

He will let a bunch of visitors go by, but stops me every time!

hmmm maybe he likes you?

but thats so weird..

 

[D&T]

Date: 5/26/2009 12:36:31 AM
Author: dixie94

Date: 5/17/2009 4:38:26 PM
Author:D&T
Just curious, if you are the type to say hello first to strangers/new people you don''t know whether it be at school, church, work, events etc. what kind of ''small talk'' do you start off with? or are you the type to wait for others to say hello to you first? DH says he has a hard time saying hello first due to lack of courage or whatever

I''m quite the opposite IRL

Hi,
I am not usually the first to stay hello or to initiate small talk. I''m fairly shy and not so outgoing, but I''d like to be better. It''s interesting b/c I moved to a place where the culture is definitely to say hi to everyone you see, walk into the dr.''s office or elevator and announce a friendly hello to everyone, kiss on the cheek when meeting someone or just to greet each other. It''s been quite a change for me, someone used to and likes their own personal space and rarely speaks to others I don''t know. I actually find that I like and appreciate this culture much more than my own. It''s friendly, warm and just nice to have someone say hi, smile or greet with a hug and kiss on the cheek. It''s still a little odd for me, and I still don''t usually initiate, but at least, I am more used to it now.
I''m still not so great with the small talk, but I always try.

what country are you in? as for the hug and kiss thing... ummm thats a little bit too much for me.. I''m pretty uncomfortable with that one. But good for you for trying... small talks are awkward for me at times..

 

[lili]

I do say hello or nod w/ a smile (if I'm not in a talkative mood) to people I know.
I'd just smile to strangers if there is eye contact.

 

[rainwood]

I was really shy as a child. Now, I''m willing to strike up a conversation with almost anyone if they''re not giving off a ''leave me alone'' vibe. I''ve met some really interesting people and found out lots of useful info. It does take practice though and a willingness to put yourself out there. When I was just starting out in my career, I was terrible at small talk, but knew that it was an important skill to have. I decided that I was going to challenge myself by learning how to chit chat at a social event with the managing partner, someone with whom I had NOTHING in common. Just a couple of minutes to see if I could do it. So I did and it didn''t kill me. And I kept trying, picking people I didn''t know very well or with whom I didn''t think I''d have a natural bond. You have to keep trying if you''re not a natural. Start with someone who''s standing alone rather than insert yourself into a group. Most people are grateful not to be standing alone anymore and will be glad you sought them out. And I finally realized no one really gives a darn what you do, no one''s paying that much attention, so there''s no reason to be embarrassed. It''s also useful to figure out how to gracefully exit the conversation. That was harder for me to learn for some reason.

 

[Porridge]

I''ll talk to anyone! Everybody gets a hello from me