Do you have any interesting relatives?

[that_someone_special]

My "aunt" killed someone by driving high and drunk

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Iam related to Norman M. Thomas--some of you may remember him for your history books--a socialist who ran for the presidency 6 times...

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 3/22/2010 10:42:42 PM
Author: swedish bean
My ''aunt'' killed someone by driving high and drunk

This, unfortunately, is the same type of "interesting uncle" I have.

I wish I had nice stories like everyone else here, but it''s just not happening.

Maybe I''ll grow up to be the crazy, eccentric aunt

 

[dragonfly411]

My great grandmother on my mother''s father''s side owned the first drug store on the west side of my town. When she opened most of her customers were farmers who were driving cattle to the market on the east side of town. They stopped for groceries, medicines, and coke.

My aunt trained race horses.

That''s about it.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Here is another one.

My grandfather, may he rest in peace, liked to drink a lot when he was young, and he and my grandmother used to have doozy fights. One of my grandmother''s favourite stories to recount is a fight they had one day when they were in their mid 20s. They were at the Legion (my grandfather was in the army), and my grandmother wanted to leave. My grandfather did not. So a big fight ensued.

My grandmother got upset and stormed out the get in the car and leave. My grandfather jumped up on the hood of the car and proceeded to piss all over the windshield. My grandmother, unphased, simply turned on the windshield wipers.

Drama drama drama.

 

[that_someone_special]

haha dreamer!!! Not only could I see my grandmother doing that, I could see MYSELF doing that... (windshield wipers, not peeing)

 

[dragonfly411]

Ha! that reminds me of a story.

My grandfather once got pi** drunk and came home and passed out. Well he had to work the next day and my grandmother was NOT going to let him stay home just b/c he was hungover. To wake him up... she poured a 5 gallon bucket of ice water over him.

 

[mrscushion]

Date: 3/23/2010 5:41:12 PM
Author: dreamer_d
Here is another one.
My grandfather, may he rest in peace, liked to drink a lot when he was young, and he and my grandmother used to have doozy fights. One of my grandmother''s favourite stories to recount is a fight they had one day when they were in their mid 20s. They were at the Legion (my grandfather was in the army), and my grandmother wanted to leave. My grandfather did not. So a big fight ensued.
My grandmother got upset and stormed out the get in the car and leave. My grandfather jumped up on the hood of the car and proceeded to piss all over the windshield. My grandmother, unphased, simply turned on the windshield wipers.

Drama drama drama.

That''s.... ummmmmm... kind of awesome.

 

[rockzilla]

My dad is the person who makes me the craziest with his "interesting" traits.

For one, my parents live in a really huge old house (think 100+ years) that they haven't maintained particularly well. The roof had started leaking, and my mom FINALLY convinced my dad to get a new roof. Mind you, this roof is probably older than I am. So what does my dad do? Hires the roofers to replace HALF the roof! (At least it was the half that was leaking) As if the other half won't need to be replaced in a year or two? Plus, I am guessing it is cheaper to have a whole roof replaced once, than two roofs (rooves?) replaced twice!

Another example...along with 100+ year old house come at least 50+ year old windows. I'm talking windows with little rope pulleys inside them that help the window go up and down. In New England. So NOT energy efficient -- yet instead of I dunno, replacing some windows, they pay $500/month in the winter for heat! Replacing even half the windows would immediately help with this.

Finally, my dad LOVES fixing things...or should I say, collecting things that need fixing. Computers, cars, bikes, you name it. At one point there was a whole room of our house with bikes and bike parts in all states of disrepair. There must have been 30 bikes in there. Same thing with computers - I mention my laptop has been running a little slow, next time I see him, he has 3 laptops for me...unfortunately, each one is a little bit "off."

Then there's the cars...don't get me started on the cars! My parents have never bought a new car. Which in and of itself is fine, you can save a lot by purchasing cars that are a few years old. But what he'll do is buy a car that is 10 years old, and then keep it for 10-15 more years. He is always having to "fix" them but there's always something else going wrong. But you suggest buying a new(er) car...and its all of a sudden, "Oh no, the cars they make these days are so much worse than my 1992 Dodge Caravan!"

 

[joelly]

Date: 3/22/2010 2:34:28 AM
Author:dreamer_d
Of course you do. Got a story to share?

Here is mine, it is about my uncle. He is a really interesting guy

When my grandfather was terminally ill, my grandparents moved into the upper floor of my uncle and aunt''s large house. They had their own bathroom and kitchen up there, but the apartment is connected to the main house. My grandfather passed a year and a half ago, and this Christmas the family was all talking to my 80 year old grandmother about getting a pet to keep her company.

Me, my husband, and my mom all thought she should get a dog. And she thought it was a good idea too! She had dogs in the past and loved them. But of course, she lives in my uncle''s house, so she would need his approval.

So at a family dinner, my grandmother says, ''Son, I am thinking about getting a dog!''

And he says, ''No, that''s too much work. You need a nice pet that is very low maintenance. I''ve been thinking about it, and you can either have a cat... or a reptile.''

That was my grandmother''s face.

Who thinks their 80 year old mother wants a snake for a pet?? Only my uncle. He was dead serious. When we started laughing he started singing the praises of reptiles as pets. We have been laughing about this for months.

He is joking, right?

 

[Kaleigh]

Mine would have to be my Nanny. Many of you got to know her through me...

God she was such a pip, and a pistal.....

She lived in a nursing home. I would say, so what would you say to someone that wanted to live here???

She said look, if you know good food, don''t come here.... WHY these dummies would eat card board if they poured gravy over it...

She said, these people wouldn''t know good food if it hit them in the head....

I asked for Lamb chops.. Why the meat was so tough you''d need a hammer to break off a piece...

I had the pleasure of being her care taker for 18 years.

And when the end was approaching and hospice was called. The In Take nurse had to do an evaluation...

Nanny was her usual self, being pissy...

I was like OH GOD, this is not going to go well....

The nurse asks her so,

When was your last bowel movement..

Nanny says,,,, THAT''S not a very nice thing to ask, ...

When was Your''s?????

She died two days later on Mother''s day which was fitting, as she was my Mom.

I still laugh at her quips, she had such a great sense of humor. I am a bit twisted like she was, and love that.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

My mother's side of the family.....well, there is just too much to talk about.


On my father's side....

I just found out a couple years ago that my Uncle is now my Aunt

I am a little nervous about the potential that my new Aunt could be in the same room as my judgmental fundamental uncle from my mother's side during my wedding.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 3/23/2010 11:19:05 PM
Author: joelly

Date: 3/22/2010 2:34:28 AM
Author:dreamer_d
Of course you do. Got a story to share?

Here is mine, it is about my uncle. He is a really interesting guy

When my grandfather was terminally ill, my grandparents moved into the upper floor of my uncle and aunt''s large house. They had their own bathroom and kitchen up there, but the apartment is connected to the main house. My grandfather passed a year and a half ago, and this Christmas the family was all talking to my 80 year old grandmother about getting a pet to keep her company.

Me, my husband, and my mom all thought she should get a dog. And she thought it was a good idea too! She had dogs in the past and loved them. But of course, she lives in my uncle''s house, so she would need his approval.

So at a family dinner, my grandmother says, ''Son, I am thinking about getting a dog!''

And he says, ''No, that''s too much work. You need a nice pet that is very low maintenance. I''ve been thinking about it, and you can either have a cat... or a reptile.''

That was my grandmother''s face.

Who thinks their 80 year old mother wants a snake for a pet?? Only my uncle. He was dead serious. When we started laughing he started singing the praises of reptiles as pets. We have been laughing about this for months.

He is joking, right?

No. That is the best part. He really and truly thought a snake would be a great pet for his 80 year old mother

We will tease him about it for years. Luckily he has the good sense to know how ridiculous he is.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 3/23/2010 11:45:21 PM
Author: Kaleigh
Mine would have to be my Nanny. Many of you got to know her through me...


God she was such a pip, and a pistal.....


She lived in a nursing home. I would say, so what would you say to someone that wanted to live here???


She said look, if you know good food, don''t come here.... WHY these dummies would eat card board if they poured gravy over it...


She said, these people wouldn''t know good food if it hit them in the head....


I asked for Lamb chops.. Why the meat was so tough you''d need a hammer to break off a piece...

I had the pleasure of being her care taker for 18 years.


And when the end was approaching and hospice was called. The In Take nurse had to do an evaluation...


Nanny was her usual self, being pissy...


I was like OH GOD, this is not going to go well....


The nurse asks her so,


When was your last bowel movement..

Nanny says,,,, THAT''S not a very nice thing to ask, ...


When was Your''s?????


She died two days later on Mother''s day which was fitting, as she was my Mom.


I still laugh at her quips, she had such a great sense of humor. I am a bit twisted like she was, and love that.

K--your Nanny was definitely a pistol! I have always loved reading your stories about her.

My great-grandmother was a very proper lady, she used to keep me a few times a week in the summer and I spent a lot of time with her when I was young and got to know her very well, so I could not believe a tale about her that my mother told me many years later.

I hadn''t seen my GG for ~10 years, and she''d been placed in a long-term care facility because she was 95 and had broken a hip, and unable to take care of her house and live on her own any longer. She (depending on who you''re talking to) either fell into dementia, was prescribed too many drugs, or was just having an off day once: the story goes that she was walking past the nurse''s station one day, stopped to chat for a second, and told the nurse on duty clear as day--"I''m gonna go get me some sex."

Yup. I still don''t know if that actually happened but it makes for a very entertaining story. When I think back in time about her, I do recall some mannerisms or behaviors about her that were not so lady-like, and I can almost believe it. Otherwise my memories of her are firmly in the pink sheath, heels, and perfectly coiffed lavender hair camp.

 

[charbie]

Date: 3/24/2010 1:42:46 AM
Author: monarch64

Date: 3/23/2010 11:45:21 PM
Author: Kaleigh
Mine would have to be my Nanny. Many of you got to know her through me...


God she was such a pip, and a pistal.....


She lived in a nursing home. I would say, so what would you say to someone that wanted to live here???


She said look, if you know good food, don''t come here.... WHY these dummies would eat card board if they poured gravy over it...


She said, these people wouldn''t know good food if it hit them in the head....


I asked for Lamb chops.. Why the meat was so tough you''d need a hammer to break off a piece...

I had the pleasure of being her care taker for 18 years.


And when the end was approaching and hospice was called. The In Take nurse had to do an evaluation...


Nanny was her usual self, being pissy...


I was like OH GOD, this is not going to go well....


The nurse asks her so,


When was your last bowel movement..

Nanny says,,,, THAT''S not a very nice thing to ask, ...


When was Your''s?????


She died two days later on Mother''s day which was fitting, as she was my Mom.


I still laugh at her quips, she had such a great sense of humor. I am a bit twisted like she was, and love that.

K--your Nanny was definitely a pistol! I have always loved reading your stories about her.

My great-grandmother was a very proper lady, she used to keep me a few times a week in the summer and I spent a lot of time with her when I was young and got to know her very well, so I could not believe a tale about her that my mother told me many years later.

I hadn''t seen my GG for ~10 years, and she''d been placed in a long-term care facility because she was 95 and had broken a hip, and unable to take care of her house and live on her own any longer. She (depending on who you''re talking to) either fell into dementia, was prescribed too many drugs, or was just having an off day once: the story goes that she was walking past the nurse''s station one day, stopped to chat for a second, and told the nurse on duty clear as day--''I''m gonna go get me some sex.''

Yup. I still don''t know if that actually happened but it makes for a very entertaining story. When I think back in time about her, I do recall some mannerisms or behaviors about her that were not so lady-like, and I can almost believe it. Otherwise my memories of her are firmly in the pink sheath, heels, and perfectly coiffed lavender hair camp.

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I''ve got resident''s saying stuff like that all the time! Makes my day!

 

[charbie]

In fact, right now I have a resident singing "Puff the Magic Dragon" outside of my office as I type.

 

[charbie]

I just found out over the weekend that my great-great grandfather was the inventor of Murphy''s Oil Soap. Apparently he sold the formula to the guy who made it into the big product we know it as today.

Funny thing is, my dad couldn''t find anymore information about the guy after he had sold the product. I said it''s probably bc he off''d himself.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 3/24/2010 10:00:22 AM
Author: charbie
In fact, right now I have a resident singing ''Puff the Magic Dragon'' outside of my office as I type.

I love that song!!! LOL

My GGrandfather, GG''s husband, owned several general stores in the area and he actually cut off a thief''s hand once. I have asked my grandmother (one of their daughters) repeatedly whether it''s true and she swears it is.

 

[Lilac]

My grandfather (my father''s father) is interesting. He looks like a mob boss and speaks like a mob boss - in fact, DH got scared the first time he spoke to him on the phone because he sounds so much like the stereotype of what someone in the mob would sound like! My grandfather can be a pretty shady character... he has a lot of money, always walks around with hundreds or even thousands of dollars in his wallet at a time and hands out hundred dollar bills to his kids and grandkids, but nobody knows where this money comes from. He used to own a nightclub but then it burned down and since then nobody knows what exactly he does to get all this money - all we know is that he has it.

He doesn''t trust the bank, so when he and my grandmother were younger they used to hide their money and valuables throughout the house. As a result, nobody can sell their old house now because they''re worried there''s tons of money hidden inside it! They used to hide money inside the walls, my grandmother hid all her diamond jewelry inside the vacuum cleaner bag, and a couple months ago my aunt went to clean out their old freezer and found a package labeled "turkey" - inside it was $30,000!!!

I truly don''t think anyone knows what my grandfather does to make all this money, which makes the whole situation so much weirder. My whole family is *extremely* close, but nobody ever talks about this. It''s kind of like the big elephant in the room when my grandfather starts looking through his wallet for something and everyone sees tons of hundred dollar bills - everyone is thinking "where does he get this from??" but nobody will actually SAY that out loud.

Oh, my grandfather also has an interesting way of phrasing things... when DH and I were dating, my grandfather wanted to warn him about getting me pregnant (we were waiting till marriage anyway, but I guess my grandfather didn''t really trust that) so my grandfather told my husband he "better not plug it in, because it''s like a TV - if you plug it in, it will start working, and 9 months later you''ll have to take care of it." I still laugh at that one...

 

[that_someone_special]

Speaking of Nana''s.... The last time my g''ma was in the hospital she also complained of the food. SHE HATED IT.

First, before even going into the hospital (she saw her general practitioner that day and she wanted her sent in.) She told my dad, who was driving her to appointments, that she had to go home to get things and drop things off. After she got her stuff with her, on the way to the hospital she convinced my dad to BRING HER OUT TO EAT at her favorite chinese restuarant by saying, "You know, this could be my last meal... you are denying me my last good meal"

So, they went and had lunch.

A few days later, she convinced my uncle that the doctor said he could bring her food if she wanted. She requested wine and said that the doctor ok''ed it. She also wanted PIZZA. So, my uncle brings her a whole pizza and a bottle of wine

in a heart ward

. The nurse flipped out and said, "You brought her PIZZA? In the heart ward? AND YOU BROUGHT WINE???"

Apparently the doctor NEVER said she could have anything BUT hospital food. Sneaky lady.

She passed away a few days later.

The last time I saw her she was telling me about how when she gets out of the hospital this time, "We would go out and party"

Miss you G''ma.

 

[Haven]

These are so hilarious! And sad, and heartbreaking, and confusing, but I love them!

 

[doodle]

Date: 3/22/2010 7:03:41 PM
Author: Maevie

Date: 3/22/2010 3:50:07 PM

Author: doodle

My great-grandmother drove her car into the baptismal pool of a church because she believed it needed to be blessed. One of my uncles used to own a gym in town where several of my aunts and my mom also worked for a while--he once put a fake leg sticking out from under his desk in his office, hid in a supply closet, and let out a blood-curdling scream, so when my aunt came in, she thought he had been murdered. My grandmother got mad enough at my grandfather once that she pushed the washing machine down a flight of stairs at him, then she refused to speak to him for weeks because she had to take all the clothes to the laundromat. The same grandmother, who normally does NOT drink, got plastered at my parents'' wedding, so she was sitting on the piano singing while the priest played. I could go on and on--I have a family full of crazies, haha!

wow doodle - can I come visit?

Yeah, c''mon down, haha! I forgot to mention my grandfather getting angry with the cat for plucking on the arm of the couch, so rather than buying him a scratching post or something, he went in the back yard, chopped down a PINE TREE, and installed it in the living room floor to ceiling. Sixteen years later, the cat had outlived my grandfather and had never once touched the tree, but the floor and ceiling were ruined from sap, haha! The same grandfather had an obsession with picking "useful items" out of people''s trash. So he and my mom are driving down the road one day, he sees a steel beam

, and he makes my mom get out of the car to get this beam that was literally large enough to have hung a basketball net with. We found it in his storage shed after he passed away. Oh, and when this grandfather was in the hospital before he died, we''re all sitting in the ICU waiting area, and my uncle Myrlon starts telling stories about how he once killed a bear on his way to school. Smack in the middle of his story, he stops talking and bursts into song--"SPEEEECTRUM, fast, fresh, and friendly, fast, fresh, and friendly, SPEEEECTRUM!" For those of you who don''t know, that''s the jingle on a radio ad for a gas station. My brother kind of looks at him for a minute, blinks, then goes, "Uncle Myrlon, you okay?" His response? "Damned horse kicked my head years ago. That metal plate they put in always picks up the radio." Now, he really did have some kind of metal plate in his head, although I don''t know if it picked up the radio or not, but he SWORE by it, LOL!

 

[doodle]

Kaleigh, she sounds like my Nana--gotta love feisty women, haha! Nana just had surgery on her back for a ruptured disc, and since she was in a good bit of pain, they had her doped up. The nurse comes in, asks Nana if she''s continent, and she busts out with, "Of COURSE I''m from this continent. You think I flew here with a ruptured disc?!" She gave my little sister and I a lecture on how we have to cook every single day only ten minutes before going into the OR.