Do you feel that it is your responsibility to take care of your parents in sickness/old age?

[trillionaire]

I do, personally. Not projecting that responsibility on others though.

That have given me everything, a wonderful childhood, college tuition, room and board, a car, and any help that I have ever needed.

Yup, I feel that it is my duty as their child to take care of them when they need it.


How about you?

 

[chiapet]

Absolutely! I''m Chinese so maybe it''s ingrained in my culture but I know that if one of my parents got sick I will drop everything, fly 14,500 miles home and take care of them for as long as they need. It''s the least I can do after all the things they''ve done for me.

 

[Elmorton]

Absolutely. I''m an only child - so I don''t have any expectation that I share that responsibility with any other family member (other than of course my DH).

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Date: 9/16/2009 3:41:14 PM
Author:trillionaire
I do, personally. Not projecting that responsibility on others though.


That have given me everything, a wonderful childhood, college tuition, room and board, a car, and any help that I have ever needed.

I''d guess their kind and loving support of you in the past makes it a far greater-- and easier-- honor for you to do it for them in the future, irrelevant of one''s cultural background.

 

[purselover]

I would hire someone to look after them but I personally wouldn''t do it myself

 

[princesss]

Date: 9/16/2009 3:41:14 PM
Author:trillionaire
I do, personally. Not projecting that responsibility on others though.

That have given me everything, a wonderful childhood, college tuition, room and board, a car, and any help that I have ever needed.

Yup, I feel that it is my duty as their child to take care of them when they need it.


How about you?

I feel the same way. My parents have done a ton for me, and are always there when I need them. Why wouldn''t it go the other way?

 

[Upgradable]

My parents and I have talked about and planned for this. Even though they''re still in their 60''s and in relatively good health, all the documents are in place for me to have medical and financial power of attorney. They''ve gotten extended care insurance along with preplanned and prepaid funeral arrangements. We live 700 miles apart and I am their only surviving child, so it seemed important to make plans before the need was imminent. They have also very explicitly stated that they DO NOT want to live with us, we all feel better knowing what the map is for the future.

 

[dani13]

Definitely!!! I am their eldest child- I feel an enormous sense of obligation to my parents-They have given me everything, and I would do anything for them!!!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Well, as far as my parents, I have no responsibility because my dad is dead and my mom is officially missing, so they aren''t around for me to potential take care of.

DH and I will be taking care of his parents if they need help. We already do and I anticipate that we will take on more as they grow older. I don''t feel it''s my "duty," but instead help because I am thankful for all the help they have provided my husband and myself.

 

[Haven]

Yes, I do feel that it is my responsibility to take care of my parents in sickness and old age.
After all--if not me, then who?

 

[kenny]

I hear it is usually the daughters who step up, not the sons.

 

[princesss]

Date: 9/16/2009 4:48:29 PM
Author: kenny
I hear it is usually the daughters who step up, not the sons.

Interesting.

Part of what I love about BF is that he feels the same way I do about this - his parents helped him out and cared for him, and he feels it''s his responsibility to care for them if they ever need it. Maybe he''s just an odd duck, though...

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Yes, of course. I feel responsible for taking care of my parents and D''s parents. I''d be very happy to have either set of parents (or both! egads!) move in with us if needed.

My issue is that my parents live 1,500 miles away and have no desire to live on the East Coast. Also, they are determined to live on the farm until they die, so providing full-time care for them in their home might be the best option if it comes to that--my parents have expressed that they do not want to live with any of us under any circumstances. I hate that parents feel they are a "burden" to their children when they grow old, I know my parents fear losing their independence.

 

[musey]

Oh yes I certainly do. My parents gave me a ridiculously strong upbringing and I am proud of all they''ve done for their family. It''s not just my responsibility - I wouldn''t have it any other way.

 

[Haven]

Date: 9/16/2009 4:48:29 PM
Author: kenny
I hear it is usually the daughters who step up, not the sons.

I bet this is true. I spent a lot of time in hospitals and at my grandmother''s self-help home towards the end of her life, and I was always shocked at the number of *daughters* and *granddaughters* I saw in both places visiting loved ones.

In my grandmother''s case, my uncle was actually her primary caretaker, not my mom, but I think that is unusual. I wonder if other people who have spent a lot of time caring for elderly loved ones in hospitals and assisted living homes also see a lot of daughters around.

 

[loriken214]

Date: 9/16/2009 4:48:29 PM
Author: kenny
I hear it is usually the daughters who step up, not the sons.

Not in our case!

DH was very active in caring for his ailing father while he was in the hospital. We lost him in 2003. Same thing with his mother. We lost her in 2005.

My brother and I were very close to our parents and he played a HUGE role in their care during their illnesses. I have serious health issues and cannot do much of anything most of the time. My brother went above and beyond.....he would have done it anyway whether I was able to help or not. We lost our dad in April of 2007 and mom passed away in October of 2007.

Lori

 

[purrfectpear]

Of course. While I did not have an Ozzie and Harriet home, they did provide food, shelter, and love in a semi-dysfunctional relationship. (Note: my mom was orphaned at 12 when an incendiary bomb took out her home, both parents, pets, maids, etc. while she was visiting her grandmother during WWII. That''s enough to warp most anyone).

They are 78 now and as long as there are two of them, they seem to be doing OK. Once one of them passes, I imagine I will move the remaining parent to So Cal and buy them a condo near mine.

 

[bee*]

Definitely. My parents have given me everything that I could ever need and I''d always do the same for them. Same with D''s parents.

 

[Vancity]

When I entered this world, I knew that I was wanted. I''ve been blessed, in that I have never known a day without love...

When the time comes, and the day to day rigours of life become too difficult for my parents, I will make sure they feel the same...always wanted and always loved...

~Allyson

 

[Aloros]

Absolutely! I would consider it a privelege and not a responsibility. I adore my parents. They''re the best folks a girl could ever ask for.

 

[Upgradable]

Date: 9/16/2009 5:43:59 PM
Author: Vancity
When I entered this world, I knew that I was wanted. I''ve been blessed, in that I have never known a day without love...

When the time comes, and the day to day rigours of life become too difficult for my parents, I will make sure they feel the same...always wanted and always loved...

~Allyson

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 9/16/2009 5:43:59 PM
Author: Vancity
When I entered this world, I knew that I was wanted. I've been blessed, in that I have never known a day without love...

When the time comes, and the day to day rigours of life become too difficult for my parents, I will make sure they feel the same...always wanted and always loved...

~Allyson

That is so beautiful Vancity. HUGE DITTO here. I adore my parents; they mean the world to me!!! I am so blessed to have them as my parents, that is for sure.

 

[tyty333]

Definitly! And I would be honored!

 

[Camille]

You bet

 

[OUpearlgirl]

My mom always jokes about this. I will have no problem doing this for her. My dad is 10 years older, and as depressing as this sounds, odds are she will be a widow in her older years. I hate thinking about that.

I think I''ll do whatever she is comfortable with. She''s mentioned more than once that she wants to live in an assisted living place with several of her friends. I''d love to do that for her, but it wouldn''t bug me if she needed to move in. Now, whoever I marry may have a problem with that, but that''s tough!

 

[KimberlyH]

Vancity, what a beautiful sentiment!

My husband cared for both his parents and I will care for mine if/when the time comes. Do I feel obligated? If the word obligated isn''t filled with negative connotations, absolutely. I have been so lucky as to have a wonderful family and taking care of them if necessary seems only logical. They have stated they will never live with my sister or I, which is a choice I will respect, but I will make sure that they are cared for, and I will be involved in said care.

 

[CJ2008]

Date: 9/16/2009 4:36:15 PM
Author: Haven
Yes, I do feel that it is my responsibility to take care of my parents in sickness and old age.
After all--if not me, then who?

+1

 

[JulieN]

If the duty is bestowed upon the offspring given the most in room and board, college tuition, and cars, then it is my sister''s job.

Of course, after all of that college tuition money, she''ll also probably be the one in the best position to.

 

[princesss]

Date: 9/16/2009 5:43:59 PM
Author: Vancity
When I entered this world, I knew that I was wanted. I''ve been blessed, in that I have never known a day without love...


When the time comes, and the day to day rigours of life become too difficult for my parents, I will make sure they feel the same...always wanted and always loved...


~Allyson

Beautifully put.

 

[Hera]

Wow, there''s a lot of family love in this thread. I don''t come from one of those families. I''ll have to see how I feel when the time comes. Hopefully, I will be feeling gracious at that time.