Wedding do you fear LOOKING fat?

[calidaisy]

hi everyone,
please tell me if this is a realistic or irrational fear.

so, i found a seamstress and she's currently working on my dress.
my 1st fitting won't be for another couple weeks.

but this is what's bothering me:

my dress is a ballgown (with crinoline attached) and my seamstress said we should add more crinoline to make it poufier.
i didn't want to deal with wearing a separate set of crinoline so i asked her to attach/sew it to the dress.
(which btw, experts out there: is this a good or a bad idea?)

and now, with poufier look ... i start worrying about LOOKING FAT on my wedding day.
am i being crazy, irrational, weird? OR is this a realistic concern?

i know i have plenty of time to change things ... but all i seem to be fixated today is worrying about my dress making me look fat.

 

[neatfreak]

Well...first of all I think it's not nice to link to someone specifically and say they looked big...so you might want to see if admin can remove that (or if you see this ASAP you can edit it out yourself). What if that is a PSer??? Would YOU want someone to link to you saying the same thing? Don't think so...

But that aside, I think if you choose the right dress and emphasize a small waist, an extra crinoline set won't make you look bigger as long as it is only on the bottom of the dress. I think it's more about choosing the right dress that doesn't overwhelm you in the first place.

 

[Shoopy]

Ummm...

Maybe its just me but I think that was kind of mean calling her out like that

Poor girl probably felt beautiful in her wedding and here she is being called fat

I think that in general if clothing makes you feel uncomfortable or self conscious about your size, then don''t wear it. This is your special day and you want to not only look beautiful but also feel beautiful. If it doesn''t make you feel beautiful then maybe you should keep looking?

 

[calidaisy]

thanks, i deleted the link.

 

[calidaisy]

thanks, neatfreak and fiery.
as i said earlier, i'm so fixated ... i didn't even think how mean i was being to link someone's picture.
thanks for pointing it out before (too much) harm was done.

otherwise, i'm just afraid that the poufier look will overwhelm me ... and wasn't sure whether i had a valid fear or was being irrational.

 

[Shoopy]

Hey don''t sweat it.

I think every bride goes through that "I need to lose weight before the wedding" phase.

I''m not even engaged yet and I''m trying to lose weight so that I look good for my wedding LOL.

It''s an honest concern

 

[calidaisy]

thanks, fiery!
i''m freaking out with something on a daily basis and today it''s the dress.

my wedding''s still 3 months (minus few days) away and i feel stressed.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

I looked at your dress thread. You cannot be mistaken for fat. I agree your dress is pretty but not an easy dress to pull off but it looks fine on you.

I don''t worry about looking fat on the day, I am sure I''ll be toooo worry about a zillion other thing.

 

[Gwyn]

Alright, who else here is not only worried about looking fat, but now is afraid that she linked a pic of you in your dress!

LOL


Just kidding

 

[pocahontas]

Date: 7/2/2008 6:46:45 PM
Author: Gwyn
Alright, who else here is not only worried about looking fat, but now is afraid that she linked a pic of you in your dress!

LOL


Just kidding

ROFLMAO

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 7/2/2008 6:58:03 PM
Author: pocahontas

Date: 7/2/2008 6:46:45 PM
Author: Gwyn
Alright, who else here is not only worried about looking fat, but now is afraid that she linked a pic of you in your dress!

LOL


Just kidding

ROFLMAO

ditto...hahahaha

 

[calidaisy]

LOL ...

thanks ... and sorry ladies.
no need to worry.
the link was not that of a ps-er.
you guys are all very beautiful (from what i''ve seen in pics) ... so, really ... no need to worry.

 

[littlelysser]

Date: 7/2/2008 6:46:45 PM
Author: Gwyn
Alright, who else here is not only worried about looking fat, but now is afraid that she linked a pic of you in your dress!


LOL



Just kidding

Um, I totally am!!!!

 

[Haven]

Date: 7/2/2008 6:46:45 PM
Author: Gwyn
Alright, who else here is not only worried about looking fat, but now is afraid that she linked a pic of you in your dress!


LOL



Just kidding

I was DEFINITELY worried that she linked to my first wedding dress, which was a ballgown.

ANYWAY, I''m just worried about my arms looking fat in all of the pictures. I don''t have a fear of it, really, just a tiny little worry. They are fat, though, so my guess is that they''re going to look fat no matter what I do!

Don''t worry about a ballgown making you look fat, I think they always make the wearer look like she has the teeniest waist ever.

 

[violet02]

Date: 7/2/2008 7:44:53 PM
Author: Haven


I was DEFINITELY worried that she linked to my first wedding dress, which was a ballgown.

ANYWAY, I''m just worried about my arms looking fat in all of the pictures. I don''t have a fear of it, really, just a tiny little worry. They are fat, though, so my guess is that they''re going to look fat no matter what I do!

Don''t worry about a ballgown making you look fat, I think they always make the wearer look like she has the teeniest waist ever.

I have the exact same worry! Fat arms! My arms aren''t in the most toned shape and arm/shoulder-wise I''ve been on the bigger size... so ditto Haven!

 

[Gwyn]

I realised i never answered you.

YES

OMG YES



My arms, that area below my arms/above my chest. little fat flab thingy.

I have a corset top so atleast i can adjust it a lil.

The lady at the dress store said i could only gain a max of 2 pounds or the dress'' skirt isnt going to hook (2 peice)

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Wow did she link to me? Ha. To answer your question, no I don''t. Because I AM fat.

Sorry, just felt a little snarky.

 

[ljsmith001]

Can I please see the link that was posted!?! I really want to see who you didn''t want to look like.. is that normal? I dunno, but now i am SOO curious. Also, what is the link to your dress pics.. I want to see what I think!

 

[doodle]

Date: 7/2/2008 10:15:09 PM
Author: SarahLovesJS
Wow did she link to me? Ha. To answer your question, no I don''t. Because I AM fat.

Sorry, just felt a little snarky.

HAHAHAHA, this was my EXACT thought, too!!!!! calidaisy, let me reverse the situation, just to emphasize that, although common, it''s a silly fear. would it not be somewhat amusing if i came on here and posted, "Hey PSers, i''m a size 16, but i''m sooo afraid my dress will make me look thin. i mean, i''m not...but do you think my dress will make me LOOK skinny???"


i''m not making fun of you personally, cali. i just think it''s almost comical how hard women are on themselves. i once read an article with cindy crawford (CINDY FRIGGIN'' CRAWFORD!!!!) complaining about how she hated her feet because they were bony. ya gotta be kiddin'' me!!!

you''re marrying someone who loves you. you love him. you''ll be radiantly happy...even in burlap. you''ll be beautiful.

PSERS, can we ALL please take a dose of self-esteem? because, with all the insecurity and self-doubt i''ve read on here, i''ve NEVER, repeat NEVER, seen a picture of an unattractive bride on here.


***for the record, i''m not above this; i''m just as guilty...but i''m also the first to admit when my behavior is getting on my own nerves.

 

[calidaisy]

LOL ... the link was not from PS.

i saw this bride from preownedweddingdresses.com and thought how she looked a bit chunkier than she probably is in real life because of the big dress she was wearing and had this sinking feeling that that may be me with added crinoline in my dress.

i''m on the petite side in real life. i think the link to my dress pics got deleted but i will post pics from my first fitting (in couple weeks) and you guys can tell me whether the crinoline is making me look fat.

 

[Po10472]

Cos that would be the worst thing in the world right - looking fat! I have concerns about the attitude in society that if you are bigger than a size 10 (I''m in the UK) then you are fat and therefore its not attractive and something to fear - I find this quite sad.

If you are petitie, then you''re not going to look fat in your dress unless you have a fat suit on underneath it.

Focus on how beautiful you feel and the cut of the dress, the veil, the accessories etc instead of worrying about something that isn''t there. Its your day, don''t lump additional stress on to yourself based on another photograph. If your seamstress is worth her salt, she will ensure that your dress compliments your figure well.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 7/3/2008 12:17:25 AM
Author: doodle

Date: 7/2/2008 10:15:09 PM

Author: SarahLovesJS

Wow did she link to me? Ha. To answer your question, no I don''t. Because I AM fat.

Sorry, just felt a little snarky.

HAHAHAHA, this was my EXACT thought, too!!!!! calidaisy, let me reverse the situation, just to emphasize that, although common, it''s a silly fear. would it not be somewhat amusing if i came on here and posted, ''Hey PSers, i''m a size 16, but i''m sooo afraid my dress will make me look thin. i mean, i''m not...but do you think my dress will make me LOOK skinny???''



i''m not making fun of you personally, cali. i just think it''s almost comical how hard women are on themselves. i once read an article with cindy crawford (CINDY FRIGGIN'' CRAWFORD!!!!) complaining about how she hated her feet because they were bony. ya gotta be kiddin'' me!!!


you''re marrying someone who loves you. you love him. you''ll be radiantly happy...even in burlap. you''ll be beautiful.


PSERS, can we ALL please take a dose of self-esteem? because, with all the insecurity and self-doubt i''ve read on here, i''ve NEVER, repeat NEVER, seen a picture of an unattractive bride on here.



***for the record, i''m not above this; i''m just as guilty...but i''m also the first to admit when my behavior is getting on my own nerves.

Haha Doodle.

Yeah, I am not going to claim I am not that way, obviously I am most specifically about my arms. But I don''t necessarily worry about it when it comes to my actual wedding day because I am what I am. I just control it while I can when it comes to posting pics of myself, heh heh.

But hey if FI loves my chubby arms which he does then more power to him, right?

 

[swingirl]

I think almost everyone thinks they look fat because the models they use for the bridal dresses are size 0 and 6" tall. The current style of strapless is not forgiving for heavy upper arms, full busts or a broad back. It was so much easier in the "olden days" of 20+ years ago where you could find a dress with long sleeves if you didn''t have perfect arms or a higher neckline if you had a full chest. I know, everyone wants bare and sexy, but it comes with a price.

A poofy skirt usually makes someone look slimmer because it emphasizes the narrow waist. And you are tiny to begin with. Wait until you''ve had your fitting to make a judgment on your dress. Hopefully you''ll love it.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 7/3/2008 2:21:55 AM
Author: swingirl
I think almost everyone thinks they look fat because the models they use for the bridal dresses are size 0 and 6'' tall. The current style of strapless is not forgiving for heavy upper arms, full busts or a broad back. It was so much easier in the ''olden days'' of 20+ years ago where you could find a dress with long sleeves if you didn''t have perfect arms or a higher neckline if you had a full chest. I know, everyone wants bare and sexy, but it comes with a price.


A poofy skirt usually makes someone look slimmer because it emphasizes the narrow waist. And you are tiny to begin with. Wait until you''ve had your fitting to make a judgment on your dress. Hopefully you''ll love it.

I think it''s somewhat forgiving, but not 100%. To be honest with you..my chest large looks horrible in a high neck! I am loving the strapless!

 

[swingirl]

That''s why it''d be nice to offer options. You don''t always know what would look the best until you try it on. But I don''t think many of the top bridal designers offer a lot of variety.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 7/3/2008 2:36:34 AM
Author: swingirl
That''s why it''d be nice to offer options. You don''t always know what would look the best until you try it on. But I don''t think many of the top bridal designers offer a lot of variety.

Ate my post..sigh. Anyway, I was trying to say before it ate my post that I agree with you on that. I just get defensive over my strapless!

But not everyone wants to wear strapless. In fact some people need non-strapless dresses for more conservative religious ceremonies, so they definitely don''t have a lot of attractive options. But, if you ever know anyone who needs a non-strapless dress then I think Jasmine Bridal will change the top or bottom of any dress basically with their Temple Ready service. That''s one one salon told me.

 

[allycat0303]

I think every bride fears it. I certinly do, even though I know I am not fat. My only instructions to my sister and mother when we went dress shopping was "I am intrested in the most slimming gown. I don''t care what looks better. Sliming is key" I think every bride goes through it. I decided that I needed to lose 12 pounds by the time I decide to go dress shopping again (which is probably in 4 weeks....so that''s not happening.) and not realistic at all.

I remember seeing Katherine Heigl on Oprah, and she said that she went insane working out and dieting before the wedding, and she NEVER had weight issues before. It was just something about that dress and that day!

 

[robbie3982]

I think everyone has this fear. I''m sure you''ll look beautiful and NOT fat in your wedding gown. When you post your first fitting pics I promise to be honest about whether the added crinoline looks odd, but I doubt it will. I had a HUGE ballgown (hoops AND crinoline underneath) and I think it actually made my waist look smaller.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

After measuring my other bridesmaid for a dress last night, er YES... Size ZERO...Ima size 4/6

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 7/3/2008 12:17:25 AM
Author: doodle

Date: 7/2/2008 10:15:09 PM

Author: SarahLovesJS

Wow did she link to me? Ha. To answer your question, no I don''t. Because I AM fat.

Sorry, just felt a little snarky.

HAHAHAHA, this was my EXACT thought, too!!!!! calidaisy, let me reverse the situation, just to emphasize that, although common, it''s a silly fear. would it not be somewhat amusing if i came on here and posted, ''Hey PSers, i''m a size 16, but i''m sooo afraid my dress will make me look thin. i mean, i''m not...but do you think my dress will make me LOOK skinny???''



i''m not making fun of you personally, cali. i just think it''s almost comical how hard women are on themselves. i once read an article with cindy crawford (CINDY FRIGGIN'' CRAWFORD!!!!) complaining about how she hated her feet because they were bony. ya gotta be kiddin'' me!!!


you''re marrying someone who loves you. you love him. you''ll be radiantly happy...even in burlap. you''ll be beautiful.


PSERS, can we ALL please take a dose of self-esteem? because, with all the insecurity and self-doubt i''ve read on here, i''ve NEVER, repeat NEVER, seen a picture of an unattractive bride on here.



***for the record, i''m not above this; i''m just as guilty...but i''m also the first to admit when my behavior is getting on my own nerves.

doodle, I love you.