Do you automatically associate holidays with presents?

[Lilac]

Would you be upset if you found out you weren''t getting any presents this holiday season?

Personally, I love holidays. Hanukkah is so much fun because we have Hanukkah parties and I get to see my entire family. We stopped giving gifts long ago at my mom''s Hanukkah party, and this year there are no gifts at my dad''s - but I''m still looking forward to them *just* as much as ever! I get to see all my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and people I rarely see, and to me that''s what the holiday is all about - family and being together. I don''t even think of the lack of presents at these parties because it just makes me so happy to be able to spend time with loved ones.

The thing I look forward to the most is spending time with DH and just cuddling together and reading our handwritten cards that we exchange together. That''s more than enough for me.

DH''s family recently began discussing their annual Hanukkah party and the people hosting decided that because of various financial situations, there would be no gifts exchanged this year. Several other members of DH''s family (aunts and uncles) decided they don''t plan on showing up if there are no gifts. Even the children don''t care - but the *adults* are the ones throwing insults and refusing to show up if there are no presents!

Do you look forward to the holidays because of the family time - or because of the gifts? When you think of Christmas or Hanukkah (or whatever holidays you celebrate), do you automatically think of presents? Would it disappoint you not to receive anything?

 

[kenny]

Nope.
I don't give or get them.

Since most people DO observe this custom in our culture I find a way to mention this to friends during the year so they know.

My SO likes the tradition so I respect and honor that between us.

 

[tlh]

No. I love GIVING gifts, but to be honest, I'm a horrible recipient.

I associate the holidays - with whatever it is... i'm a big sap. SO if it is the 4th- I get all misty when I hear I'm proud to be an American...

if we're talking thanksgiving, nope, I associate that with overeating and a fun neighborhood run...

New Years, friends a sip of sparklin' cider or somethin bubbly, and a sweet peck of a kiss.

Christmas, I do not associate with gifts at all. In fact now that we're so far away and "gift cards" seem the way to go - it has removed that element all together... to me Christmas holiday is about being kind, and generous, and loving to others. Giving a little more - whether it be your time, your money, your patience, whatever... it is about loving others and being appreciative for what you have. It is about time with loved ones, and if you cannot be near - keeping them close to your heart always. To me Christmas is a state of mind, not a tree, or ribbons or bows, or gifts, or stockings, or lights... and I try to keep the spirit of Christmas in my heart all year round. Though I won't lie... I LOVE everything Christmas, and I put my tree up early, if the HOA would let me, the lights would go up early too... and I keep them up. I love the way Christmas makes me feel... and sometimes when I'm feeling down - or sad... no matter the time of the year.. I'll put in a Christmas movie... even when it is 117* outside.

So no, it is not about the GIFTS... but more the spirit of GIVING... NOT GETTING.

sorry about the party turning into a flop because others don't want to show up and leave empty handed...

 

[elrohwen]

I absolutely did as a kid, but what kid doesn't? At this point, I wouldn't care two straws if I didn't get a single present for holidays. I like the spirit of the holidays and I enjoy being with family and friends, but presents aren't at all important to me. If I really want or need something, I go out and buy it for myself (or discuss with DH whether we should buy it). I don't tend to wait until things are gifted to me.

ETA: I also don't like giving gifts unless someone tells me explicitly what they really want or need. If I pick something out randomly, I'm afraid they'll just end up with more crap they don't like.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 12/2/2009 2:15:01 PM
Author:Lilac
Would you be upset if you found out you weren't getting any presents this holiday season? Do you look forward to the holidays because of the family time - or because of the gifts? When you think of Christmas or Hanukkah (or whatever holidays you celebrate), do you automatically think of presents? Would it disappoint you not to receive anything?

Well ... I do associate it with shopping for cool stuff. Honestly I like choosing things for people even better than receiving gifts (probably because I'm irrationally picky myself). We have a large family of siblings so for a while now we've done group gift exchange for adults so you only ever have to buy one or two "adult" gifts. As fun as those swaps are (we draw numbers & steal presents and stuff) I'd be okay w/o it. But I would really miss not being able to watch my nieces & nephews open gifts in some kind of Xmas scenario. I'd also miss gift swapping with my DH - as its the main time of year we let loose the purse strings a bit. Our birthdays & anniversary & xmas are all (almost) in the Fall/Winter months -- so that Quarter is FUN TIME (if funds allow).

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I absolutely do if I have looked really hard for just the perfect gift, I can''t wait to see the look on their face when they open it! Last year I got a candle and a movie and DH got a board game from family and that was more than enough for us. Each year his mom sends us the best present- food we used to get at the grocery store at home that they don''t sell here in colorado. I''ll admit we really look forward to that each year lol but I don''t feel bad about it since the mac and cheese she sends is like 5 for a dollar lol

 

[Laila619]

Nope. That is one of my big complaints about this modern version of Christmas, that it is all about gifts and commercialism and not about the real meaning.

 

[monarch64]

I associate the holidays with gift-giving, yes. And to be completely honest, the fact that it is EXPECTED drives me insane. That doesn't mean I don't like GIVING, I just hate that it is EXPECTED.

ETA: that sounded awfully Grinch-like. I didn't mean it that way.

 

[Burberrygirl]

Yah, I definitely associate holidays with presents. My mom still gets all of us Easter and Valentines Day presents (Oh, and growing up I always had two Easter baskets and presents because my mom is Catholic and my dad is Russian Orthodox and they fall on different days). Christmas at our house is huge as well, my parents have always been very generous. I wouldn''t be upset if they stopped giving us presents, we''re ages 19-24 so there has to be a cut off point eventually. I actually wish they spent less, it just becomes too much. I feel silly having my parents spend sooo much money on us (although, my older siblings seem to enjoy it).

 

[Circe]

I do associate the holidays with presents. They don''t have to cost a lot of money, but I''m sentimental, and I like having the tangible reminder of all the years that have come before everytime I look around my house. I also LOVE finding the perfect presents for people - I start *ridiculously* early. I''m giving boxes of fancy Perugina hot chocolate to two friends ... and a necklace to my one fellow bling-loving friend ... a Shanghai Tang scarf in vivid purple and green, all printed with symbols for luck and health to my mom ... the only ones left to shop for are my husband and my dad! (Which, admittedly, is like 90% of the battle, as they''re the toughest ones to buy for.) I would be disappointed if that part of the holiday were to go away.

That said, would I compound my disappointment by sulking like a petulant child and refusing to attend a holiday celebration? No. That sounds a little silly to me, a perfect example of cutting off your nose to spite your face ....

 

[anchor31]

I don''t. I celebrate getting together with family and the religious aspect of Christmas, and to me it has nothing to do with gifts. We told our families to expect very little this year, with the baby coming and the house we just bought... I''m doing a cookie-mix-in-a-jar kind of thing, with a thoughtful handwritten message.

 

[Shoopy]

Yes I do associate gifts with the holidays, however, not for myself. I never expect gifts and hate when people spend money on me but I love to give them! It''s my opportunity to spoil my loved ones (especially my mom who I don''t get to see too often).

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Date: 12/2/2009 2:15:01 PM
Author:Lilac
Would you be upset if you found out you weren't getting any presents this holiday season?

Well, NO presents from anyone would bum me out. A couple of presents under the tree is a lovely tradition, and I love witnessing the joy of little kids when they open toys.

I would be okay with cutting down on the extended relatives category though, and would prefer to just spend time with them over the holidays. When I find myself wasting time and money on impersonal, down-to-the-wire, (truthfully) duty-based generic gifts like scarf sets, nut/cheese collections, or soap sets to well-off adults who have never expressed a need for more cashmere, summer sausage, or lotions --times twenty-- it just seems like a big, all-around, >>SYSTEMS FAIL<<.

 

[Kaleigh]

I'd love a gift free Xmas. Loved doing all the shopping for the kids when they were little. But now that they are older and so hard to buy for, I'd love to skip it.. I wish I could do a fast forward and awake once it's past New Years.

I love buying for my neices and nephews, because they are little and love what I give them.....

Me, I don't expect anything. I just want my F**** roof to be finished by Chirstmas, that's my only request!!!

 

[yssie]

No - actually shopping for and receiving gifts stopped years ago.

The holidays are my favourite time of year - the smells, the trees and decorations, big family get togethers, snuggling with FI in front of a fire. Our family does a lot of cooking/baking for each other, but it's not obligatory - we just enjoy it!

 

[kenny]

Date: 12/2/2009 4:02:33 PM
Author: Kaleigh
I just want my F**** roof to be finished by Chirstmas

F**** roof

Funny?
Fancy?
Fishy?
Fuzzy?

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 12/2/2009 4:32:32 PM
Author: kenny

Date: 12/2/2009 4:02:33 PM
Author: Kaleigh
I just want my F**** roof to be finished by Chirstmas

F**** roof

Funny?
Fancy?
Fishy?
Fuzzy?

Oh come now, you know what I mean.

Ok I want my GD roof to be finished by Christmas!!! The rain is putting us way behind
schedule...

 

[kenny]

We have a fuzzy roof too.

 

[meresal]

Date: 12/2/2009 4:03:20 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady
Nope.. I first associate it with my faith and family, the tradition of decorating, baking and giving gifts but not necessarily recieving. Anything else just happens.

*eta.. I enjoy the giving part. Its fun for me. Especially when its something home made. Giving for me, doesnt necessarily equate to purchasing a gift.

Completely agree with everything you said, my first thought is Family Time... maybe a little less on the "home made" aspect, but you get what I mean

. My sister got ALL of the artistic ability in our family, but I love the idea of shopping for and giving gifts.

 

[wsu12]

Sadly, I do. I am getting better

.

 

[4ever]

When I was little it was about the presents and Christamas=presents!

Now Christmas= FOOD! I love cooking Christmas dinner for everyone. It''s such a big challange to do it all myself but I find it very satisfying.

I would really like it if we banned presents on christmas in our family. It''s so stressful this time of year trying to get somthing great for everyone when the shops are so busy and it''s such a drain on our wallets! My siblings and I have agreed not to give each other presents this year because we just can''t realy afford it, we are just getting a parents gifts.

 

[zhuzhu]

I associate it with time off work, with not having to worry about getting up on time, with eat whatever I want whenever I want wherever I want (at home that is). However the expectation from DH''s family to buy gifts for the children drive me insane. They chose to no do exchange of gifts for the adults but buying for the children is MANDATORY, or MIL and SIL get UPSET.

The problem is, of the several years of gift-giving, the children or their parents (BIL and wife) never even thank us for the gifts.

I guess I have problem with gift giving if it is not received with thankful hearts.

 

[Cehrabehra]

the first thought for me about holidays is food lol - then family (not all holidays associate with family but they almost all have some associated food in my mind) and gifts are a nuisance to me most of the time. I usually can''t stand what people give me and have to fake it and I hate insincerity.

 

[Haven]

I associate the holidays with family, snow, Christmas music and lights, hot spiced cider, and letters from my DH. I''ve never been a big gift person, though.

We''re Jewish, and I''d be lying if I didn''t say I have serious Christmas envy. I just love all the lights and the decorations. I know that''s not what it''s all about, but it''s just so pretty!

 

[Mara]

I used to definitely...even until recently. But this year (and even last year) it felt more like we were just getting or giving presents simply for the sake of getting or giving presents. Now it's more like what do we really need??? And most people we know don't actually NEED things either.

Plus we have a kid on the way...so we have basically told everyone no gifts this year and we're not giving any either (unless they are local then I am baking)...and if someone feels like they HAVE to send us a gift (read Grandma or similar) then make it for the kid and something we need. For ourselves we will prob do some really small things that we might need or want...but nothing big.

I do love holiday decor, music, and all that....but this year we are def making it more about spending time with friends and family than giving material goods.

 

[Lilac]

Date: 12/2/2009 6:42:16 PM
Author: Haven
I associate the holidays with family, snow, Christmas music and lights, hot spiced cider, and letters from my DH. I've never been a big gift person, though.

We're Jewish, and I'd be lying if I didn't say I have serious Christmas envy. I just love all the lights and the decorations. I know that's not what it's all about, but it's just so pretty!

I completely agree about the Christmas envy. I *love* all the lights and have always wished I could have a tree to decorate...

I think DH would be totally fine never receiving another gift again, and I would be fine too if he didn't give me a present (as long as we didn't stop writing our letters). However, he almost started crying last night when I tried to insist on him not getting me an anniversary present - he really really enjoys giving me gifts he knows I'll love. I don't feel the gifts are necessary, although I do enjoy picking something special out for him if I know he will love it, so I understand where he's coming from.

But I'm with you - the letters are really the *most* special of all. I have saved every single one since we started dating and by now there are around 400 pages of them (DH actually had them all put in a book for me one year as a gift)!

 

[HollyS]

Do you automatically associate holidays with presents?



Not really. As a kid, for some reason, anticipation of the Easter Bunny was much higher for me than Santa Claus. We weren''t used to having very much candy outside of Halloween and Easter, so maybe it was the lure of chocolate and jelly beans.

As an adult, I don''t care at all about presents. Not a bit. Christmas to me is all the sentimental stuff like decorating, baking, family, classic movies and holiday programs, music. And it''s the religious stuff like Advent, Lessons and Carols, and Christmas Eve midnight mass.

I enjoy buying gifts if I''ve really found something unique and perfect for the person; I hate settling for something that''s merely okay. And, while I''m grateful for the sentiment behind the gifts I''m given, I know I won''t like every gift I receive. I''d rather the adults among my family and friends dispensed with buying gifts. I''d much rather invite friends over for potluck, go caroling with them, volunteer at a charity with them, or do anything that creates great memories, instead of merely exchanging gifts.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 12/2/2009 6:42:16 PM
Author: Haven
I associate the holidays with family, snow, Christmas music and lights, hot spiced cider, and letters from my DH. I''ve never been a big gift person, though.


We''re Jewish, and I''d be lying if I didn''t say I have serious Christmas envy. I just love all the lights and the decorations. I know that''s not what it''s all about, but it''s just so pretty!

you''re describing the secular version of "christmas" which really has nothing to do with jesus'' birthday - I am not christian nor is my husband and we still celebrate it - for me it is more about solstice and I''d change the date to the 21st but eh - not a big deal. I don''t even think Jesus was born then, but for those who wish to celebrate THAT, the tree, decorations, etc. don''t have much to do with it either. Many combine the two, but I don''t see the harm in being Jewish and having a tree with lights

 

[mrssalvo]

I do. But, I have kids and just love seeing the excitement and anticipation in their little faces over the presents. I enjoy thinking about and buying gifts for my family. I love just about everything about the holidays, the food, Christmas starbucks cups, the lights and decorations every where you go etc. We also always do some type of Angel Tree or Fill Santa''s sleigh gift giving so my kids learn the importance of giving during this time of year as well.

 

[JSM]

I associate the holidays with huge turkey dinners with my grandparents! We did get gifts on Christmas, though this year I told my family not to buy for me due to money issues, and honestly I''m a little relieved. Family time is so much more meaningful for me (though if you asked my 8 year old self, she probably would have said presents!).