do I need favors??

[kcoursolle]

My wedding budget is already higher than we wanted it, and we both rather put the money from the favors into better food or unexpected expenses. What do you think...are favors really that necessary?? Will guests be disappointed?

 

[FacetFire]

I say skip them. EVERY single wedding I have ever been to...I leave the favor behind. They are usually cheesy and/or not anything I''d ever use. Let''s see...dougnuts, candy, cheesy mix CDs...I would have had not problem if they had not spent the money on these things. I know I sound awful, but really, they are so unimportant in my eyes. I am there to see two people I care about get married...and maybe have a few drinks and laughs. I am not there to take anything away with me except good memories...

 

[rockzilla]

I agree. You have already given your guests a nice meal, a yummy desert and hopefully a fun time. They don''t need a favor as well...honestly most people''s houses are already full of random crap they don''t want but feel guilty throwing away.

Just email them a link to the wedding photos after...that''d be the best way I think to remember the day

RZ

 

[sumbride]

I''m not doing favors and I don''t think anybody will miss them. As a guest I''d rather have a good piece of cake and an open bar! If you''re already over budget, no need to go further over for something most people won''t miss.

 

[wifey2b]

Date: 2/2/2007 6:42:24 PM
Author:kcoursolle
My wedding budget is already higher than we wanted it, and we both rather put the money from the favors into better food or unexpected expenses. What do you think...are favors really that necessary?? Will guests be disappointed?

I too have wondered this...we will be having a private wedding with a few invited guests, then an open house sort of thing with just snacks for a reception time. I have been pressured to think I have to have thank you favors...but how do you do that, when one does not know how many people will even show up? Wouldn''t a nice personal thank you card be all that would be needed?

 

[jcrow]

i didn''t have them. no one said anything. period. i don''t think any of the guests noticed. i don''t think they were missed.

save your money and your time.

 

[whatmeworry]

Good question KC. Well the guys in my office (actually it''s all guys in my office) are already giving me a hard time in jest about what wedding favors they are going to get.

 

[Finding_Neverland]

One of our Daughters works banquet service at THE event hotel in our town. If you holding any sort of "Do" of any level of prominence, you have it at Daughter''s hotel. Daughter wears a Tuxedo to work that''s how posh it is.

I can''t count the number of "favors" she''s brought home after working a wedding. One time we had a boat load of blue colored "chinese take out boxes" filled with blue and white Jelly Bellies. Great for us. We thoroughly enjoyed them. But obviously unimportant to the guests.

If you can name a cheesy wedding favor, we''ve seen it. Of all the favors Daughter has brought home, there was only one that I thought was really cute and functional. One couple, the guy had just graduated from Dentistry School. Was already accepted into an established practice and would start work immediately after they returned from their Honeymoon. That couple gave away travel toothbrushes with their names and their wedding date embossed on the side.

As an uninvolved party who sees the other side of Wedding Receptions, I''d say "Don''t Bother". Most, if not all, of your guests probably won''t notice and won''t really care.

 

[dtnyc]

Nope- you will be just as married after the ceremony regardless of whether or not you have favors.

We had crab-shaped chocolates that one of my BMs made- she loves making candy and we had our wedding in Baltimore- they were cute, but lots of people left them behind.

 

[curlygirl]

We didn''t have favors. As everyone else has said, it seems like a waste.

 

[kcoursolle]

Thanks everyone, this is great advice! I''m leaning towards skipping them and you all have made this decision easier! Hopefully, maybe no one will even notice they aren''t there.

 

[kcoursolle]

Date: 2/2/2007 7:10:55 PM
Author: rockzilla
I agree. You have already given your guests a nice meal, a yummy desert and hopefully a fun time. They don''t need a favor as well...honestly most people''s houses are already full of random crap they don''t want but feel guilty throwing away.

Just email them a link to the wedding photos after...that''d be the best way I think to remember the day

RZ

That''s a great idea!! I might use that!

 

[monarch64]

kcourselle, just wanted to say that favors were one thing we cut out for our wedding due to budget concerns, and NO ONE complained. We''ve been happily married for 3.5 years now and I do no regret not doing favors at all. I wholeheartedly agree with all the above posters who''ve made mention of the fact that they just get left behind for whatever reason. So take that $300, $500, whatever dollar amount and apply it somewhere in your wedding where it really counts!

 

[dani13]

I dont think we are doing favors- seems like a waste of $$ to me...I also leave favors behind all the time at weddings...hopefully no one will notice!!!

 

[zoebartlett]

I''ve never really understood favors. I''ve gotten bells, small picture frames that were too tiny to hold a real picture, and matches with the bride and groom''s wedding date. The favors were a nice gesture, but it seemed totally unnecessary to me. The only favor I got that was pretty cool was when I went to a friend''s wedding in Ireland. My friend is from the US and her now husband is from Ireland. Their favors were a bag full of candy, chips, and small trinkets from both places -- for example, candies that aren''t typically found over here and New England maple syrup that isn''t in Ireland. Other than that, favors tend to be left behind at receptions.

Hey, random thought...I just noticed I just turned over to "cut rock" status.

 

[Liquiddazi]

At my little sister''s wedding, we had wedding favors; however, we forgot to put them out and we were stuck with them all. Luckily it was only chocolate. Any ways, the point is no one noticed and we didn''t even notice until we were cleaning up the site.

 

[AChiOAlumna]

If you''re looking for specific favors (candy, candles, etc.) I say also skip them. Our wedding favors were the silver frames that doubled as the place cards for our sit-down dinner. At the end of the night, people took them home. When we sent out our thank you''s, we included a wedding photo that was big enough to put in the frame (If people so chose to do that).

 

[kcoursolle]

Date: 2/3/2007 8:37:44 AM
Author: zoebartlett
I''ve never really understood favors. I''ve gotten bells, small picture frames that were too tiny to hold a real picture, and matches with the bride and groom''s wedding date. The favors were a nice gesture, but it seemed totally unnecessary to me. The only favor I got that was pretty cool was when I went to a friend''s wedding in Ireland. My friend is from the US and her now husband is from Ireland. Their favors were a bag full of candy, chips, and small trinkets from both places -- for example, candies that aren''t typically found over here and New England maple syrup that isn''t in Ireland. Other than that, favors tend to be left behind at receptions.

Hey, random thought...I just noticed I just turned over to ''cut rock'' status.

Congrats on cut rock! THat must have been a really fun wedding you went to! What a creative idea.

 

[kcoursolle]

Date: 2/3/2007 9:48:29 AM
Author: Liquiddazi
At my little sister''s wedding, we had wedding favors; however, we forgot to put them out and we were stuck with them all. Luckily it was only chocolate. Any ways, the point is no one noticed and we didn''t even notice until we were cleaning up the site.

What a bummer forgetting to put them out! At least they *were* chocolate LOL.

 

[ocbride2007]

My fiance''s cousin got married and had all these custom covers printed for mini books that contained quotes about love... cute idea, but it is still sitting on my shelf, never opened. Apparently they still have at least 50 left over. It''s not even like it was candy that could be eaten!! So I am pretty much against favors at my own wedding, unless they are edible and cheap.

What we are doing instead (and is pretty common at Vietnamese weddings) is having a photographer take pictures of us with all of the guests as they come in, then they develop them in an hour, and they are there to pick up at the end of the ceremony. It ends up being the same as traditional favors, but people actually take them home and enjoy them!

 

[ladykemma]

most favors i''ve seen went right into the trash...

 

[Fancy605]

It seems like favors are still very much a thing to do here in the South. I feel like a lot of couples feel obligated to have some little token for their guests... yet many of them are left behind. I am torn about them because I would rather put that extra money towards the wedding itself, but I feel like here people will expect some little token. The only good idea I''ve had is to get the Lindt chocolate truffles that I like so much and put them in little tulle bags or something. They are edible AND too delicious to leave behind. I''d glady take the leftovers with us. I was thinking playing cards would be cute b/c everyone on both sides of our families grew up playing all types of card games. We play cards no matter which of our families we visit. And I know the cards would be used until they fell apart rather than just left sitting in a drawer. In fact I almost imagine that if we did that one or 2 games would break out durring the reception. It could work, but I''m still debating.

I did enjoy a little cup of personalized MandMs at one wedding I was in (namely because they were out of food by the time the bridal party got there, and we were starving). They were cute and matched the decor of the wedding (pink and black). They were in these little disposable champagne flutes. And I enjoyed a Jar candel I got at an especially nice wedding I attended. It was a nice candel, and it was scented but not in a give-you-a-headache kind of way. But I imagine it was expensive and wouldn''t be the sort of thing that would fit into many budgets.

 

[sarie_j]

I''m with the rest of the girls, if you have money and time to do favors that''s great, however no one will remember them a week later and less than half will take them home with them. I also work in the hotel/restaurant industry and I also have carted home hundreds of little things that got left behind - you name it, I''ve seen it, one poor woman even spent apparently thousands of dollars on engraved crystal (I believe Lennox) champagne flutes that not a single person took -
I''m having a little bag of mixed chocolates because I think it looks pretty on my table but trust me, the rest of the stuff is not necessary and no one will mind

 

[San Diego Bride]

instead of traditional favors, my husband and i made a donation to st. jude children''s hospital, one of our favorite charities. in return st. jude sent us bookmarks with our names, the date and the following message:

to family and friends,
with much thought and consideration we chose a special way to say "thank you" for sharing our day as we celebrate the beginning of our new life together. i lieu of a traditional wedding favor, we have made a donation in honor of you to st. jude children''s research hospital. we truly appreciate you being a part of our special day.

then it has st. jude''s contact info. this was perfect for us since we both work with children with cancer. we were having difficulty finding a favor that would sum up the importance of the day for us, but this worked out really well.

most guests even took them. a few do use them.

 

[kcoursolle]

Date: 2/5/2007 9:53:01 AM
Author: novia

instead of traditional favors, my husband and i made a donation to st. jude children''s hospital, one of our favorite charities. in return st. jude sent us bookmarks with our names, the date and the following message:

to family and friends,
with much thought and consideration we chose a special way to say ''thank you'' for sharing our day as we celebrate the beginning of our new life together. i lieu of a traditional wedding favor, we have made a donation in honor of you to st. jude children''s research hospital. we truly appreciate you being a part of our special day.

then it has st. jude''s contact info. this was perfect for us since we both work with children with cancer. we were having difficulty finding a favor that would sum up the importance of the day for us, but this worked out really well.

most guests even took them. a few do use them.

What a wonderful thing to do! This is a great idea!

 

[fatafelice]

I agree that you absolutely do not need favors. I am doing them, but mostly because I like the detail they will add to the tables!

But I am trying not to spend a ton, and they will be edible chocolates, so if guests leave them, then I guess that is more for me!

I saw a great idea on the Knot concerning donations made as favors. The couple is planning on putting up three ribbon boards, each representing a different charity. Guests can then choose which one they would like a donation made in their name to by leaving their seating card on that board. I thought this was a really cute idea! It could also work with 3 vases/bowls, etc.

 

[sk8rjen]

I''m sure a bunch of people will think it''s cheesy, but instead of more traditional favors, we are "lei-ing" each of our guests as they arrive. Of course, I do not expect they will keep them on, but they are nice silk leis in a variety of colors --- and we are getting married in Hawaii with nobody except my mom in attendance. Just thought this was a way to take everyone "there" for a minute while they watch the wedding video before we come in...
jen

 

[upgrading mama]

I think it is important to keep in mind the expectations of the familes as well. For example, as a greek woman, it would have been utter blasphemy to not give a favor at our wedding. and greek wedding typically are pretty pricey favors like crystal candlestick holders, tall flower vases, etc...

While I don''t personally find it a very important piece of the wedding experience, I do think it is nice to get that liitle something, and most people do like chocolate and you never know who may ***love**** the music cd, etc.....


There are ways to do it inexpensively, are you having a particular ''theme'' for the wedding and reception??

 

[tanyak]

Date: 2/4/2007 11:46:39 AM
Author: Fancy605
It seems like favors are still very much a thing to do here in the South. I feel like a lot of couples feel obligated to have some little token for their guests... yet many of them are left behind.

Good point. I've always lived in N.C. and Virginia, and all the weddings I've been to have had a favor. Granted, sometimes they were cheesy.

For our wedding, we put about five Hershey's Kisses in little tulle bags and tied a thank you note to each one (we also sent a traditional thank you note after the wedding). We had about 80 guests and we made 50 bags - we figured couples could share. They were all gone at the end of the night, and the kisses and bags were about $30 total. We had had mini-frames that served as placecard holders that everyone took home with them. They were too small for a photo, but we got them for free, so it wasn't a waste of money.

Really, I've never seen edible favors left behind - one of my friends did a candy buffet that was cleaned out. But I have seen stacks of CDs and baskets of candles that looked untouched at the end of the night.