Wedding Did you get many declines from people who needed to travel far?

[DMBFiredancer]

sabine''s post got me thinking....we have about 3/4 of our guest list who has to travel by plane to get to us on the west coast (many from the east coast)
i was just wondering, with the way the economy is now and the cost of travel (it will only get worse by next summer) did you get more declines than you expected for your guest lists? i''m just curious if most people still flew out or if you ended up using much more of your "b" list than expected because of travel costs.

thanks!

 

[dutchflowers]

We are getting married in the wine country of Northern CA and have experienced a pretty significant decline rate from the east coast relatives and even some Southern CA relatives. The costs of traveling to a wedding add up - time off work, flights, hotels, rental cars...

Ug.

 

[Independent Gal]

Honestly? No. Those who declined were overwhelmingly distant-ish relatives I knew wouldn''t come, because they never come to family stuff and we barely know each other. Then there were one or two people who couldn''t come because of serious, unshiftable work commitments (like, chairing an international policy meeting in Kyoto the next day type thing). My friends are used to spending most of their spare cash on travel, and I know a couple of them just used airmiles. I made a point of helping them find super inexpensive decent accommodation. Oh yeah, that and we had a two part wedding so that no one would have to travel THAT far (no oceans to cross).

I think it depends on: 1) how expensive? If you live in LA, vs. somewhere rural, the flight cost can be radically different... if a car rental is necessary for several days, that doesn''t help 2) how close a friend? 3) how broke a friend?

 

[DMBFiredancer]

thanks for the feedback so far.
we''re VERY close to LAX (people could also fly into santa ana or long beach as well)
we''re hoping people will want to make a vacation out of it and spend a few days to do some touristy things out here or just relax on the beach

 

[CJ2008]

We didn''t know what to expect. But out of 36 we invited, we got 16. But this was in Mexico (Cabos), so from some places, the flights were quite expensive. 8 out of those who couldn''t come were for reasons unrelated to $, though...

Just to give you an idea.

 

[Independent Gal]

It''s easy to get cheap flights into LAX, so that should help. Tell your friends/ family to sign up at airfarewatchdog.com so that they can grab a cheap fare if one comes up!

 

[Rhea]

We did get more declines than we were hoping for due to travel costs. We did have a descent sized B list of people I wanted to invite but weren''t able to until we got closer to time. B list was mostly people who had to travel between 20 minutes to 90 minutes - work and college friends we weren''t sure we''d have space for.

 

[neatfreak]

Nope! A lot of people came that we actually didn''t expect...

 

[musey]

Date: 8/3/2008 11:48:52 AM
Author:DMBFiredancer
Did you get many declines from people who needed to travel far?

Yep. We haven't gotten all of our RSVPs in, only about 1/3 of them, but the only declines are from OOT guests. Ironically, all our declines are also from family

(I guess that shows just how important weddings are for my mother's side of the family...) as opposed to OOT friends, and all the RSVPs we've gotten from the latter group have been acceptances. Even though they are universally on a tighter budget and traveling from further than those OOT family members.

Go figure.

A big part of that is that our wedding is in Oct., which is a tough month travel-wise anyway (for anyone who's tied to any kind of school schedule).

 

[Amandine]

Well, invites haven''t been sent yet, so hard to know. But my one cousin (I only have four) has called and told me he will not come, and I suspect the same will be forthcoming from his sister. My parents and I are very disappointed in the reasons he gave: too long in car for kids and one child is in school (preschool...only three half days a week. Seriously, what does a preschooler miiss when gone for a day or two?).

I guess I am so disappointed because everyone told me that if you give us enough notice (I did, 11 months!), that they will be able to work it out. Its not as if the kids can''t stay home with in-laws, either...neither children are that small that you wouldn''t want to leave them for 2-3 days. My cousins and I are very close...I even made it home (flying!) the weekend of Sept 11, 2001 for his wedding...and I had to go through a lot to make it, but I did because it was important to me. I specifically looked for a place to get married and a hotel that was kid friendly for everyone...

Espcecially after my sister passed away, these few people are my closest family (outside my parents, of course). My parents are really irritated because we have gone out of our way to make this as convenient as possible for everyone.

I think they have a few things to say to some people...

Sorry for the vent...but I''m so disappointed and I haven''t even started to receive the official RSVPs yet!

 

[littlelysser]

Our wedding was relatively small. We invited 58 people and only got one decline. And that was from someone in town that had another obligation that weekend.

We had friends and family come in from Europe and all over the US.

But because our wedding was so small, we only invited people that really meant a lot to us, and we figured that most of them would, despite the fact that a very large number of them were OOT.

So I think it depends. Would my parent's friends fly in from phoenix for the wedding? Probably not. Did my bestest buddies fly or drive in from wherever they were? Yup.

 

[cara]

Well, we got what we expected, which was that those with less money or with kids or extended relatives that are not as close didn''t come. Those with less baggage and more cash came and had a blast. Ours was also in a fun place, but a lot of people save their vacation time and only took a day off for travel.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 8/3/2008 11:48:52 AM
Author:DMBFiredancer
sabine''s post got me thinking....we have about 3/4 of our guest list who has to travel by plane to get to us on the west coast (many from the east coast)
i was just wondering, with the way the economy is now and the cost of travel (it will only get worse by next summer) did you get more declines than you expected for your guest lists? i''m just curious if most people still flew out or if you ended up using much more of your ''b'' list than expected because of travel costs.

thanks!

We didn''t really have a B list, although we did have a few last minute additions to our guest list (2 days before our wedding). None of them had to fly though. We had a few guests decline who would have had to travel by plane and a few decline who didn''t. Of the ones who declined who would have flown in, only two families cited the economy and travel-related expenses. My cousin and one of his young sons flew out, but his wife and their other two kids didn''t come because of the costs to fly out from where they live.

 

[miraclesrule]

Through experience gleaned from watching three co-workers plan weddings in the last year, that included friends and family from coast to coast, you will be surprised at the people whom you thought would be attending but won't be....and vice versa.

Many people who don't have children always think it would be easy to get someone to watch the kids for a few days, but until you have your own, you won't be able to fully appreciate that it is not that simple....or easy.

Just try not to take anything personally. In most cases, it isn't at all personal. There are so many factors involved. It's always heartwrenching for me to see a Groom who is devastated that one of his best friend's from across the country, or the world ,wouldn't or couldn't attend his wedding. Trust me, if they could, they probably would.