Wedding Did anyone else’s parent’s do this?

[Gypsy]

My parents think I’m generally capable when it comes to researching things and so forth so for the majority of wedding planning (like vendor selection, etc.) they largely left well enough alone and let me go on my way. In fact, they seemed strangely apathetic about certain things. And occasionally they’d make comments like, “you have plenty of time the wedding is X months away.”

So I kinda got used to that. Then we got to T minus one month and counting. Now I get random phone calls about figs, arches and aisle runners. Panicked emergency calls. Like call my cell, call my work phone, call my cell again (making me think something is wrong and someone is hurt), and if no one answers them they call John and tell him to have me call immediately.

I’m torn between amused affection because they are finally showing interest. Guilt because they feel useless when I tell them I’ve already done, considered, decided, or rejected whatever it is. And frustration cause they keep giving me heart attacks because the way the phone calls come in make me think someone is lying in a ditch somewhere.

Am I alone on this?

 

[LostSapphire]

Sounds like they need a bit of a *project*, Gypsy!

LS

 

[Gypsy]

Hi LS, yes it does. But I don''t have a project for them. I can''t really even think of one to make up. We don''t want an arch cause it would interfere with the view, I think aisle runners are risky plus grandpa is walking me down the aisle on a scooter and I don''t want to even think about that, and the venue is getting the figs. I got myself a ''special'' parasol in case I need shade (only ordered it because I needed to hit a certain total to get free shipping), and everything else is planned.

Any suggestions?

 

[lliang_chi]

maybe you can give them a not necessary to use project. E.g. "Mom, why don''t you help me coordinate with the family so we can figure out how to take pictures quickly. Get a time and an location and contact everyone and let them know they need to be there." Or the location & time can be designated by you, and she just needs to call everyone (I recollect you having a large family) and rounding them up for pics. At least she''ll feel helpful and you don''t have to worry about it. Just a suggestion...

Or maybe have them put together an emergency bridal bag in case anything breaks/is forgotten while you''re getting ready.

 

[newbie124]

Hi Gypsy!

My planning has been going along in pretty much the same manner as yours...I''m basically running everything and the parents for the most part haven''t had much interference.

However, when we first started planning and decided to switch the location to CA, I did get into several arguments about my mom who was really fretting about all the costs (she''s not contributing). Finally, I just sent her the budget spreadsheet I created and I think being able to see things on paper finally assured her that I had everything under control and I didn''t hear a peep more from her about it.

Have you had a detailed discussion yet w/ your parents about how things are going to run on the wedding? If not, that might be the best thing to do so that they can air all of their concerns in one sitting and then see that you really have it all planned out. Hopefully that will help stifle all those "emergency" calls!

 

[Gypsy]

Those are both great suggestions. I will do that. I do need someone to herd the cats... er, coordinate the family and as long as I sit down with her like Newbie said and walk through all the details so that she knows what''s going on, I can have her deal with the herding... um, coordinating. I''m going over there on Saturday, so I''ll do both of those things to keep her busy, hopefully.

Thanks for the help guys, I was really feeling frazzled! You guys are the best!

 

[newbie124]

Oops...just realized I meant got into arguments *with* my mom, not "about" my mom

 

[lliang_chi]

Date: 9/10/2008 5:14:06 PM
Author: Gypsy
Those are both great suggestions. I will do that. I do need someone to herd the cats... er, coordinate the family and as long as I sit down with her like Newbie said and walk through all the details so that she knows what''s going on, I can have her deal with the herding... um, coordinating. I''m going over there on Saturday, so I''ll do both of those things to keep her busy, hopefully.


Thanks for the help guys, I was really feeling frazzled! You guys are the best!

Herding cats! That''s exactly what I think it''ll be like for my wedding. Good luck with that. Your mom will feel like she''s really accomplishing something and it''ll definitely make your life a little easier. Come back if you need more suggestions.