Diamond Upgrade Bling Queens...need your feedback

[jaysonsmom]

For those who waited 10,15, 20 or 25 years for a significant upgrade………..was it torture to wait, or did you love your original e-rings?

I’ve been married 5 years this year, and I’ve already upgraded my centerstone once (from a .82 rb to a 1.25 princess), and changed the settings on both a couple times, because I was never completely happy with my e-ring. I also have a couple of family heirloom diamonds that I don’t LOVE. Now I’m leaning towards an ideal H&A round in the 2-2.5ct. range, thanks to PS and DT. Dh said that he doesn’t want me to keep changing and upgrading. He said that he’ll get me my dream H&A round in the 3ct range on our 20th anniversary, and that’ll be my only and final upgrade from now on. I am literally DEPRESSED over this because I have to wait 15 more years! I guess my question is: Would you rather upgrade in little increments, or just wait for a significant one in the far future?

 

[Mara]

hehe you are preaching to the choir!!

i don''t buy alot of expensive stuff in life, aka my car is 15 years old, but I adore the sparklies! would rather have a bigger diamond than a new car if it came down to it.

i am going to do the smaller increment thing, mainly because no way can i wait 10 years or so until i get my honking 3c+ stone!

it''s fun to look for stones and do the upgrade thing..and it keeps my mind occupied as well when it wants to look at sparklies. it''s fun to help others but there is nothing like getting your new stone!

the other reason i dont mind doing the incremental is that it lets me see stones that i may not otherwise ever see, aka i can determine the color that i like best in a stone, if i can see inclusions in an si1 or an si2...so that when i do get that 3c+ stone that hopefully will be my last, i will know what combination is going to work the best for me long term. in the meantime, i''ll get to see various types of eye-candy!

lucky lucky for me, my hubby understands the madness as he has a madness of his own (old trucks and cars) and since i don''t put the diamond habit above any other type of important life decisions...he''s more than fine with me getting bigger diamonds over the next few years. just as i''m sure i would not be able to complain if a new truck showed up one day in front of our place, hehe.

sounds like you really need to see if your hubby is okay with you doing small upgrades. i think my hubby realizes that it''s not so much about breaking the bank or that i am going to be foolish, it''s just something fun for me to do with extra money..and he doesn''t mind. it''s a mindset, if your hubby doesn''t have it, he may not be so keen on the slow upgrade...in which case i suggest some diamond stud earrings in smaller sizes (and upgradeable!) to tide you over for the next 15 years!

 

[Hest88]

I love jewelry, of course, and even though I''m in the middle of a ring purchase as I speak I''m already planning my next one.

However, unlike Mara I''m rather attached to my wedding set and wouldn''t want to change it. My right hand, though, is completely unencumbered by sentiment so anything goes!

Have you thought about, instead of upgrading, just aiming for right hand rings until the big upgrade? That also offsets any possessiveness your DH might have over the e-ring that he gave you.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Thanks for the input Mara. The reason I posed this question was because dh and I had a discussion about my 5-year anniversary band that I want to get from signed pieces. He was ready to order it, then he asked…would this make you happy about your princess cut? I thought about it, and the answer was NO. For once dh and I both agreed that spending $1000-$3000 a year on getting me new settings, new anniversary bands etc STILL wouldn’t make me happy, so why not just stop doing these little changes and little purchases, and save it all for the ultimate upgrade, and maybe get it a little sooner than the 20th anniversary. I agreed that it was a great idea, but the thought of no new bling for the next 15 years depressed me too…..

As for the car, house etc. I’m quite happy with both. They are both pretty nice and impressive already….maybe that’s why the ultimate upgrade ring is the only thing I’m obsessed about right now.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Hi Hest:

Dh has no sentimental attachments to my e-ring at all. That’s not what he’s concerned about. He just thinks that I’m obsessed about changing settings and getting new blings every year, but they still won’t make me happy. I totally agree with him. What WOULD make me happy is to upgrade my centerstone in increments…but he doesn’t see that. He says that everytime I upgrade, there’s the hassle of appraisals, re-setting, etc. He’d rather just save up diligently and get the ultimate upgrade, and be done with it.

 

[twinkletoes]

I would wait - why keep spend money on something that you're not totally happy with? I would think it a little insulting/hurtful to your hubby to basically spend all this money on something you don't think is big enough and will only be happy with for a very short period of time before wanting something different. Live a great, happy, meaningful life with your husband and 20 years from now when he presents you with that big ol' hunk of rock, it'll mean so much more!

 

[ame]

Our upgrade plans involve using my current stone as a sidestone in a honkin 3 stone setting. I like this stone and wouldn''t want to retire it. he''s proud of it even if it''s not what he wanted to buy me.

 

[Hest88]

Okay, thanks for the clarification. Well, I guess it will just be a matter of how much you can wear him down!

 

[Patty]

It took me ten years to upgrade my original diamond and yes, it was torture. This was back in the days when no one I knew ever upgraded. But, as I''ve posted here before, my very first e-ring diamond had an eye visible inclusion. When my husband took it back, the new stone looked smaller. We later discovered that it was a bit smaller and also was a deep cut, making it look smaller than it was. I admit, I became obsessed by size. My next diamond was one I chose and I adored it for 15 years. Then I found Pricescope, lol. I now know that my new stone was no where near an ideal cut and I havesince bought a new stone for my wedding ring and had the other stone put into a pendant.

Like Mara, I am not into status items or luxury cars or anything. I just love diamonds! I do know now not to ever say to my husband, "Once I do this, I''ll be satisfied." Half the fun is seeing what else is out there and fantasizing about what you will do next.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Hi,
I'm not really into the upgrading in increments method as I'm sentimental and want to keep the jewelry I have now. If and when I upgrade ANY of my pieces, I'll purchase new and keep the old, so I'd rather wait until I can plop down the $20-30K (or however much the stone you're wanting is) before upgrading.

Regardless of what any of us think, I do think it's most important to respect what your husband thinks. Upgrading every other year (or whenever) doesn't appeal to him for the reasons you mentioned and he must feel that there needs to be more significance to these new rings so you'll BE HAPPY, so I'd, under these circumstance, enjoy the ring I have now until you figure out exactly what you want.

What if you get your "dream" ring now and still are not satisfied? Instead, *for now*, if you're aching for more and bigger, then save for a right hand ring. Just because you're not upgrading doesn't mean you can't still buy other rings/earrings/necklaces!

 

[snlee]

MichelleCarmen- that''s what I want to do! I''m happy with my ring. I want a diamond pendant and RHR now! Oh yeah and maybe an earring upgrade too since they are tiny.

IF I was rich and had tons of money then that''s another story....

 

[valeria101]

Date: 3/2/2005 11:57:56 AM
Author:jaysonsmom

I’ve been married 5 years this year, and I’ve already upgraded
... He said that he’ll get me my dream on our 20th anniversary.

Everyone knows that the 10th anniversary is the big deal... and you could have it sooner as well - actually, as soon as savings match a tempting diamond offer somewhere. And that''s some good reason to kepp looking.

Are you saying that you guys will not celebrate the tenth anniversary of your wedding ?

 

[MissAva]

Perhaps it is becuase you have children and Mara doesnt. I think it that a factor like that needs to be considered. I havent even gotten a ring so you can totally ignore me. But perhaps he wants to make you wait so he can save up without telling you and surprise you. Or maybe he just wnats to spend that money in the mean time on other things. Or maybe he wants you to figure out exactly what you want, your 100% ideal setting and matching band, the perfect stone that will make you grin every time you look at it forever. Perhaps in the mean time you can get other fun diamond things, studs, bracelts, pendents...go wiid

 

[AChiOAlumna]

I just got my 10-year anniversary upgrade 3 months early!! Was it torture?? I wouldn''t say torture...I liked the ring my husband proposed and then wedded me with, but we both weren''t happy with the fact that the main stone was a 1/3 carat. We were both starting out and that was all he could afford and I loved him for it. But every time we went to a wedding or saw my sister get married or saw my mom even get a new eternity band, my husband felt worse...we decided at the 5-year anniversary to begin saving for the 10-year upgrade. I knew for every month I put money away for him (per his request) that eventually we would be able to afford my new ring!

Month by month I kept adding up the money and finally, we were able to afford it!!! When I bought it, I was able to appreciate even more what went into it...it''s like a 16-year-old saving up for their first car!! Now I''m happy and my DH is happy...

In fact, he asked me this weekend (after having the ring over 1 month), "Do you still like looking at your ring?"
Me: Of course!!
Him: Good...and please don''t tell me if that ever changes!!

 

[Mara]

Date: 4/27/2005 11:21:46 PM
Author: Matatora
Perhaps it is becuase you have children and Mara doesnt. I think it that a factor like that needs to be considered.

Just out of curiousity, M, how would having kids vs not in this type of scenario make a difference? I am not saying it will or wouldn''t...I just didn''t make the connection with her first post as to how having kids or not would factor into his upgrading thoughts?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Mara

i think Matatora meant

having a kid is expensive, one might hold off on a upgrade ring?

 

[Momoftwo]

While raising our kids we never even thought of spending frivoulousy on jewelry or anything else. Not that I didnt'' get any jewelry, just nothing expensive. I think that''s what Matatora meant. When you don''t have children you have a lot more disposable income. When you do have kids and have expenses for them, what you want isn''t what''s important. I would sacrifice anything for my boys welfare. Not everyone has two incomes while raising kids. We didn''t. I stayed home with them which I felt was far more important than things. On our 5 year anniversary our boys were 2 1/2 yrs and 3 months so we were a little busy. I was thrilled to go out to dinner. They''re now grown and delayed gratifcation has been our rule. For our 25th anniversary my dh is buying the upgrade. Not because I was ever unhappy with my originial, but because it''s something he decided he wanted to do for me and I dont know what size I''m getting it or when I''m getting it. It''s a surprise.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 4/28/2005 1

4

5 AM
Author: Mara

Date: 4/27/2005 11:21:46 PM
Author: Matatora
Perhaps it is becuase you have children and Mara doesnt. I think it that a factor like that needs to be considered.

Just out of curiousity, M, how would having kids vs not in this type of scenario make a difference? I am not saying it will or wouldn't...I just didn't make the connection with her first post as to how having kids or not would factor into his upgrading thoughts?

I'd guess because children are PROHIBITIVELY expensive, and meeting their needs means less disposable income for sparklies.

 

[Jennifer5973]

I had my original, modest dimaond for 10+ years and treasured it. I only started thinking about an upgrade when we could afford it...it is important and I love my new ring very much, but in the overall scheme of things, it wasn''t very important...once we had a little "play money" that was my choice....a new, better diamond.

 

[bluedawg]

Date: 4/28/2005 9:16:12 PM
Author: Jennifer5973
I had my original, modest dimaond for 10+ years and treasured it. I only started thinking about an upgrade when we could afford it...it is important and I love my new ring very much, but in the overall scheme of things, it wasn''t very important...once we had a little ''play money'' that was my choice....a new, better diamond.

This is pretty much me, too. I am currently shopping for the stone upgrade and did the setting upgrade (but still wear my original wedding ring in between) last month.

I always knew it would be for the 10-year anniversary that I''d get a new diamond (and ring). It has only been the past two that I even allowed myself to start looking at stuff and it wasn''t torture at all...

Until I started posting here! UGH! I see all the big honking stones (like that 3carat+ e-ring thread!) and the wheels start turning... I was initially thinking 1.5-1.75 for an upgrade (my original/current stone is 1ct even) but after a month here, I''m thinking 2 carats at least. Poor hubby-- he really wishes I would stop posting here.

I wouldn''t be able to lurk here if I was still looking at five years before I could buy a diamond, honestly. I would drive myself crazy.

 

[ringbling17]

Date: 3/2/2005 11:57:56 AM
Author:jaysonsmom

For those who waited 10,15, 20 or 25 years for a significant upgrade………..was it torture to wait, or did you love your original e-rings?

Being one of those people who waited 10 years to get A DIAMOND from my husband, I have to say that I really never thought about it until we were married 8 1/2 years. And really only because my SIL pointed out her 10 year anniversary present, which was a diamond ( of course ) and asked me what I was getting.

The thought did secretly come across my mind every once in a while during those years, but I just never really gave into it too much. There always seemed to be other things to do or bills to pay, etc.

So, it wasn''t really torture for me at all. I really didn''t think about it too much.

Having said that, now that I have a nice ring, I think about diamonds all the time and think about what I want next.

I think if I had found this diamond website a few years back, I definitely would have wanted a diamond much sooner than the 10 years. But time goes by so fast, before you know it, that big anniversary is here!

The truth is, I don''t even wear my diamond jewelry that much anyway, so I think it''s a waste sometimes to have it.