Depression-How do you handle it?

[Arkteia]

Re. a therapist. I have been through therapy as part of my program requirement; my first therapist I did not like. The second one "fired" me because I really did not feel I had much to process with her.
I know a lot of good therapists who I refer people to. But even with the best of them, it is not always a match. Another thing - I have seen a lot of women who told me they would feel uncomfortable with a male therapist. Well, I know a very smart and compassionate male therapist so if after several "mismatches" they ask for someone else, I advise them to go see him as a trial - and often it does work! Bottom line is, keep on trying. Try to figure out what you did not like about your previous therapists and what you would like to expect from them - maybe it will help you.

You might know by now - we all were taught "boundaries" and therapeutic "neutrality". As I have found out, it doesn't work with everyone.

I hope this therapist works for you. Sincerely wishing you good luck.

 

[reader]

We are the same age.

I have depression issues too, long stories.

There is one thought that keeps me from actually pulling the trigger though: emotions, no matter how overwhelming, are not permanent. They are exactly like ocean waves. The very second they crash over your head, or knock you off your feet, they are already losing power and heading back out to sea. Give any emotion a minute of rational thought, and it will fade out a bit.

I also have friends who have had trauma happen in their lives. I am so grateful for the times they have seen me start to get overwhelmed, even before I do, and force me to put a stop to behaviors and situations that are not healthy for me.
They have made me change my diet to less sugar, no artificial sweeteners, more protein (especially salmon). I have been forced on hikes. Getting regular sleep helps, so does regular changes of scenery.

We keep each other online too. If someone doesn''t log in or answer their phones, another friend will start driving. Of the three friends who help each other, all of us have been saved from doing something stupid by the presence of at least one of the other two.

 

[yssie]

Brilliance, reader - I just wanted to offer a huge ::HUG:: To be in such pain must be a terrible thing - I hope you are able to make peace with the past, and that you find lots to look forward to that is hopeful and beautiful.

 

[joflier]

Just wanted to say that you''ll be in my thoughts. I''d say that your braver than you think you are. It takes guts to face your past. And to post about it on a community of virtual strangers. I hope that you can find something to help you get some peace and closure on your childhood. It sounds like you have some big blessings in your life, though too, so don''t ever let your hurt minimize how huge those blessings are! Someone else may have a living parent and a relationship with them, but they may be missing the good fortune of a great marriage or the joy of a child....This reminds me of a little story that someone told me once when I was feeling very broken hearted. He said; "We all have troubles, hardships, and sorrows. If everyone threw their troubles into a big pile, and got to choose someone else''s....well, we''d most likely run and grab our own right back."
That may not ring true for everyone, but it''s something that is always in the back of my mind when I really get down. I look around me and see that I''m not the only one hurting. And then I just really try to live ''in the moment'' of the good things that I have. I hope that things go well for you!! Lots of hugs!!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I did not read the other responses so forgive me if I am repeating. I am so sorry for ALL of your loss. Words cannot even begin to describe the pain I felt while reading your story. I think there are different types of depression, chemical and environmental (and a combo). I am not sure if you have ever gone to therapy but that seems like a good place to start. It is hard to accept painful situations but vital if you will ever feel true happiness. I am also a huge believer of 12 step programs. I have never attended EA but have you ever heard of Emotions Anonymous? There are support groups out there for EVERYTHING. Knowing you are not alone is crucial. I think it could provide an additional outlet for you. The program will help you put everything in perspective. Also maybe look at the medication you are on. They seem to come out with so many news one maybe the type/dosage needs to be adjusted. Bottom line is it is OKAY to feel bad but it is not okay to let those bad feelings control your life. Letting go of all the things I cannot control and remembering the blessings I do have really works for me. Good luck. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[vip0802]

i just wanted to send out a hug, and say that i''m so sorry with all you''ve been through. i also wanted to say how brave i think you are, and to commend your strength for posting.

my mother was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about 15 years ago, and although she is doing so much better now, it took a long time for her to get to this point. i echo the advice of getting a therapist/psychiatrist that you mesh well with, so i hope you do find one that suits you best. a major factor in my mother''s road to recovery was her therapist and psychiatrist, and they were just amazing in my opinion.

i''m sorry, i wish i was more helpful. just know that i will be thinking of you and i hope you find your road to recovery as well.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Oh brilliance

. I just wanted to send you some hugs and tell you you are not alone. While I haven''t experienced the pain you have, I was recently diagnosed with depression brought on by my anxiety. I think you''ve got some good advice and guidance here. We are here for you.

 

[beadchick]

Brilliance, this is not a formal opinion or advice, but these, however, are my thoughts as I am currently towards the end of my training to be a psychiatrist.

1. I agree with the replies above, especially Whitby''s.

2. Do, not, discount the help that meds can have. For an index episode of depression, the American Psychiatric Association recommends tx w/ antideps for 6 months to 1 year. For a second episode, longer than that. I work in a university setting and a VA, meds DO help a lot of people. The bad news is, the longer you are depressed, the more prone you are to future episodes and the more treatment-resistant it becomes. So, you should seek treatment sooner than later. And if you''ve had thoughts of suicide, I would even more heartily recommend meds.

Studies show there are actual changes that occur in the brain d/t therapy, so therapy is a great idea. However, if you are suffering from re-living phenomena, flashbacks, nightmares, I would actually recommend meds, too. I see so many patients with PTSD who do better when we can just at least get them SLEEPING! Antideps DO help. You need two things: a good therapist and a good psychiatrist. Dont go to the psychiatrist for therapy unless doing analysis, if you are doing analysis, seek a person who is specially trained- it is expensive and time consuming, so don''t start w/ analysis.

I agree that analysis is good, but, you need some building blocks and strengthening tools first. A good therapist will start there. And, if you absolutely don''t want to do meds, fine, but don''t discount them on the whole. I know many who benefit from them.