Wedding Depressed over costs -- vent

[marchswallowbird]

Sigh. I just revised the cost/budget spreadsheet for my wedding a year from now. We're paying for everything ourselves. We're being pretty frugal, and are only splurging on a couple of things (spending $3700 on the photographer, and $1,000 on a two-night hotel stay at the Ahwahnee in Yosemite). But I was astounded when I added it all up and realized how much it is going to cost us. We're already not taking a honeymoon because of costs (hence the hotel stay at the Ahwahnee). There are a few places we can cut costs, but it won't reduce the overall total by much. We are paying SO much in extra travel and delivery fees because we're doing this in Yosemite Valley! If I had it to do over, I would really, really re-think the Yosemite destination choice! Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[04diamond<3]

I know EXACTLY how you feel! My FI and I are paying for most of ours (my parents are helping our a lot more than we expected...Thank God), but what we did to reduce the costs of everything was we are having a lot of our family pitch in and help, for example FI''s grandpa is doing the photography and his other grandpa is videotaping and his grandma is helping with the center pieces and other decorations...and we''re only getting the mandatory flowers and stuff...it takes a lot of using your imagination, but well worth it...and I feel like everyone is involved in bringing us together, so it''s very sentimental to us as well.....anyways, I know that it is VERY frustrating because everything is so expensive!!! WHY IS IT $200 FOR A VEIL????? I don''t understand it...but I guess having a very soon to be husband that is very anal about spending money helps at a time like this

anywas, good luck and I wish you all the best!

 

[mintve]

I hear you! It adds up soooooooooooo fast. I was reviewing my spreadsheet and changed one line item and realized the ttoal did not change. I was freaking out and realized that lilne did not add into the total when I fixed it, it added an extra $1000 to the bottom line...YIKES!!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I understand. I revised my budget last night and realized I am kind of in the negative currently overall after I pay for wedding stuff I am buying and my textbooks ($600 this semester..and one of my profs just added ANOTHER $20 book).

So when I get paid it will hopefully work out, we''ll see. Anwyay, here''s some hugs!! Sorry you''re so stressed about it. Best cure I think is to have a glass of wine and take a bubble bath!

 

[honey22]

Date: 9/25/2008 7:06:23 PM
Author: mintve
I hear you! It adds up soooooooooooo fast. I was reviewing my spreadsheet and changed one line item and realized the ttoal did not change. I was freaking out and realized that lilne did not add into the total when I fixed it, it added an extra $1000 to the bottom line...YIKES!!

Damn spreadsheets fault!

 

[Booper717]

I really feel for you. I''m just beginning my planning, and I realized it would be costly, but I didn''t realize HOW costly!!!

Seriously, I just want something small and simple and it''s still going to cost an arm and a leg. I''m no where close to being wealthy, nor being poor, so this really makes me wonder how those with so much less than we have can do it.

It''s a shame everything has to cost so much

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I definitely understand the frustration of the cost of the wedding--even when you stay on budget, it''s still painful!

I just wanted to tell you that I think a wedding in Yosemite Valley will be amazing. You are going to have some amazing photos!! The granite jetting out in every direction is going to be beautiful!!! I absolutely love Yosemite.

 

[galvana]

Im sorry you are stressed and depressed, I am past that point and now im in "acceptance". you will get there and believe me i can relate
=----- its terrible how expensive things really are, even when you try try try to keep the cost down.

My fiance and I are also paying for EVERYTHING ourselves. No one is helping and we each have a "wedding spreadsheet" with things we are responsible for.
Our wedding is in July and the week of the wedding i will have just enough to pay for all my stuff!

.
Its a lot. and I can''t tell you how many times people ask me why we dont just elope ? why are we "wasting" all this money?
and to be honest, its our day, we WANT to do it the way we are, we want the reception site, the dress, flowers, etc etc etcs
sooo after we got over the initial shock/depression/anger over how much it would all cost, we have now accepted it and are just plugging along saving every penny we can. You just have to.

Lucky for me some things have come to me by luck:
Tiara - my moh is letting me where hers
Veil - a kind kind woman on ebay sent me a never used perfect veil for FREE!

We also have made some sacrafices along the way to keep the cost within our grasp -
no open bar all night
no rolls to take me to church and us to reception together
no borabora honeymoon
my gown was only $800
we will make our own programs
invites are only $95 total
etc etc etc.

Try to cheer up, i know its frustrating but its your day, if you want certain things, do them. You only do it once.
Yes, we could use the $$$ toward a house, but we WANT to use it towards the wedding.
Your day is going to be amazing, your site location is breathtaking. try to think positive.

 

[kama_s]

Honey, this is going to be the ONE day that you will remember until the end of time. And you want it to be everything you dreamed of, and more. This is the exact conversation I had with Mr. Kama about the expenses, and he told me that if we didnt do it the ay we want to, we''d regret it forever. And he''s right. Plus, you have all the time in the world to recoup from the expenses (as long as you''re not going into debt for the wedding, which I doubt any PS-er would).

So dont worry about the costs, enjoy your beautiful day, and then work like mad to make up for the expenses.

 

[AllieLuv83]

OMG I know how you feel. I have really cut everywhere that I could and still am astounded at the cost of a wedding, but it is a special day and enjoy every minute of it. It will be FAB no matter the cost, but being budget consious is the only thing keeping me sane. I am DIY a lot, and did not really splurge on anything, just looked for the best deals!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

The price tags add up quickly. Thats part of the wedding planning process, the cost of it all.

But, the moment you wake up on your wedding day...in your dream venue...with all of the special and beautiful things you''ve collected and put together...suddenly, the price of it all will seem less and less important...and more and more worth it.

If you''re feeling under pressure, turn off the computer and walk away. You''re getting married a year from now so you are genuinuely in no time crunch...so don''t allow anything to drag you down. There will be plenty of times when you have to keep working even though you feel like crying...but this, thankfully, isn''t that time yet. Pour yourself a nice glass of good wine, run an indulgent bubble bath, and just decompress.

 

[marchswallowbird]

THANKS you guys. FI said pretty much the same thing as you all...especially now that we''ve placed non-refundable deposits. No sense looking backwards, since the bell cannot be unrung. Better to keep a close eye on the budget, and look forward to enjoying the day.

We''re going up to Yosemite this weekend, and will be meeting with our coordinator at the Ahwahnee, and bike riding though the valley. So that should help.

 

[gtn]

I know that the cost are piling up, but is is amazing how you could pull things together. I agree with NEL, Yosemite is gorgeous and the pictures will turn out amazing. To bring cost down, do you think you could rent or borrow a van or truck and have some family and friend pickup and deliver instead of having your vendors do it? Also maybe you could find some vendors closer to the valley to reduce more cost. Maybe if you tell us what is still up in the air and we can help you figure out how to reduce your cost further?

 

[marchswallowbird]

Thanks, gtn, just having you guys be so empathetic and helpful makes me feel better.

The vendors charging travel fees are the photographer, minister, hair/makeup person, ceremony musicians, and the florist. Unfortunately, there''s no way to avoid those costs!! The only possibility would be the florist, and cutting out $150 isn''t going to make a difference one way or the other. We are using people who live close to Yosemite Valley, but even so it is a minimum 2-hour round trip drive into the Valley, from pretty much anywhere. Something we really didn''t think about when we chose our venue!

The photographer is the one that is kinda ouch. I am VERY particular about the photos, and none of the local photographers were up to my standards. So we''ve hired someone out of San Francisco, and his travel fee is $400, since he has to stay overnight one night. But of course we knew that before we signed him. The one that irks me (and I haven''t hired her yet) is the hairdresser. The travel costs are $180 and the hair is only $100!! I''m looking for other options, but there aren''t that many.

If anyone knows a good wedding hair person (I am doing my own makeup) out of Fresno, Sonora, Mariposa, or any other towns around there, I''d love to know about him/her!

 

[gtn]

the hair thing would bother me too. If your hair is not that extravagant, do you think you could hire someone else maybe someone still going through school? Before my aunt offered to do my hair, someone was going to charge me $100 to travel 15 minutes in traffic.

Alternately, do you think you could get it done before you get to the valley and have a friend or family member touch up your hair?