Wedding Confessions of a clueless wedding guest

[TravelingGal]

I thought this was a fitting article for this forum!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26758428/

 

[Shoopy]

"It wasn''t until I started receiving piles of lovely engagement presents (before we''d even decided to have an engagement party) that I realized I should have given some myself. And it wasn''t until my own bridal shower, when friends who couldn''t attend made sure they still had gifts waiting for me at the hostess'' home, that I learned I should''ve done so, too. "

Yes only in my case it wasn''t until I started planning my best friend''s wedding that I realized all the crap I did that I should not have done (or vice versa).

"I never bought off the registry, reasoning that personal gifts like, say, monogrammed robes, were more exciting than china. "What an original idea," brides would write in their thank-you notes. Now, after spending hours selecting items for my own registry, I find myself slightly miffed when guests don''t use it.

Thank you People are always wanting to give personalized gifts which I don''t think that anyone wouldn''t appreciate but after going through 8 hours of different stores both online and physically and scanning crap for her wedding I will never buy outside of the registry ever again.

Great article

 

[Sabine]

This is so true! I will never look at weddings again now that I''ve planned my own, and I''ve definitely committed a few of those faux pas that I didn''t realized were big deals before.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Count me in as someone who has bought off the registry before... but I don''t care! I''m pretty sure my friend enjoys her Waterford footed cake plate way more than the 50 dollar items that were left on her registry

I know her tastes though.


I think the one I''m most guilty of is not sending in the RSVP cards. I used to be bad about that.

 

[Gwyn]

I am a stickler for things like response cards so I guess thats one thing I have going for me.

On the other hand...I dont send engagement gifts (only to my sister) I just send cards. If one of my best friends get married (none yet) I may send a small gift but I don''t send them as a general rule. And, I dont even remotely feel bad about it. FI and I got a few engagement gifts when we announced our engagement (we didnt have an engagement party though many people around here do). We did receive quite a few cards .Thats more how things are done in our circle....I should say my circle. FI is from a very informal background they dont do any sort of engagement type stuff so a gift/card is pretty unheard of.

There has been one shower/wedding I was invited to that I did not plan to attend either. I did not send a gift to either one. It was for the son of one of my mothers friends who I had not heard or seen in 20 years (the groom and I knew each other in kindergarden). I never saw a wedding or shower invitation. My mother (on a completely different coast) called me one day and said that so and so was having a shower next weekend and I was invited and should send a gift. I sent a card, I never heard anything about it. Can''t say I feel bad about that one either..shame on me.

If I just cant attend the shower but am planning to go to the wedding (which is what happens when your friends and family live on another coast) then I do send a gift, so I guess two things going for me. Whoo hoo.

Never asked to bring a guest when one wasnt specified. I did however allow FI to decline a wedding invitation and neglect to send a gift of any kind when he was invited to a wedding of a childhood friend without a guest (this was after about a year of us dating and right before we moved in together). In the people''s defense, I had never met them (at the time we lived on the opposite coast to the one we live on now) and FI didnt talk to them very often (probably not more then once or twice since he moved away) so they probably still thought FI was single. People all have their own thoughts (which they are entitled to as am I so don''t threadjack to flame me

) but FI and I think its appauling to invite adults (Im talking a 30 year old man) to a wedding and not allow them the option of bringing a guest.

I almost always buy off the registry. Usually I group up with my sister and buy a nicer item when possible. If not that, then I give cash. Who doesnt like cash right?

Meh, all in all not a horrible wedding guest. I guess I could be better....

I dont know that I would have been insulted by anything I did if the situation was reversed, but I could see how i might have insulted some people.

Oops...

 

[elrohwen]

Uhhh ... I''m supposed to send engagement presents and cards even if they''re not having a party?

Oops

Though I must say, the only card we got was from FI''s aunt and uncle and we didn''t get a single gift ... so I don''t feel so bad for not sending things to other people. I guess if I don''t know it''s required, I won''t get upset when people don''t do it for me!

I do buy off the registry, but to make it more fun I get the wackiest thing possible. No table linens and flatware for me! Though it probably sucks when the bride and groom only get waffle irons, margarita makers, and cheese boards ... but hey, they registered for it, so they have to deal with the fact that they still have no towels or dishes.

I will admit I''m somewhat clueless about weddings in an ignorance-is-bliss kinda way. When I asked my best friend to be my MOH, she asked what she needed to do because she''d never been in a wedding before. I said "Umm, show up in a dress?" Haha. Sometimes low expectations can be a good thing

And I agree with the rest of you that not RSVPing is a bad thing! People need to not be so lazy and send those cards in!

That''s just common courtesy.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I don''t think you are "required" to send engagement gifts or even shower gifts if you cannot attend the shower. It''s just something nice that some people do. Even if there is an engagement party, a gift is not required or even expected; it''s just a nice gesture that is appreciated.


in my opinion.

 

[doodle]

the RSVP thing is my biggest pet peeve--i licked 90 envelopes closed, and i stuck on 180 stamps if you include the one on the reply card envelope. the least you can do is write your name on it and send it back to me! out of those 90, i''ve gotten back 35...did i mention the deadline was last friday? i didn''t send a wedding gift to a friend of mine whose wedding i attended last year, but that was because she made it pretty apparent that she only invited me because my best friend was also invited, and she wanted her to have someone to hang out with at the reception. had she not specifically and kind of rudely told me that at the wedding, she would''ve gotten a lovely set of crystal wine glasses. too bad for her!