Wedding Children at the reception?

[Diva0413]

So I''ve been looked all over for the proper way to tell people that I will cannot accomodate children, (under 16), at the wedding/reception. If I tell my invited friends that they can''t bring their children, am I required to tell my invited family that they can''t bring theirs? Do you think my friends would be insulted if they saw a couple of younger children there (nieces and cousins)?

Help please?

 

[diamondfan]

I think family is one thing, and you can just state it nicely or put it in a poem and mail it out. If you really cannot, you just need to stick to it, but most guests would understand family being an exception!

 

[neatfreak]

As long as you are clear on the distinction, i.e., all family under ager 16 is invited and that''s IT, no exceptions, it''ll be fine. It''s when you start making exceptions that you''ll get yourself into trouble.

People should know kids are not invited based on the names on the invites. I.e., if you want to invite the whole family, write "The Smith Family" or "Joe, Jane, and Johnny Smith". If you just want to invite the adults write "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", or something like that. Most people should know.

 

[Haven]

People will know their children are not invited to your wedding when the kids'' names do not appear on the inner envelopes of the invitation.

I wouldn''t worry about upsetting friends because you invited the children in your family and not their children--what a petty thing to be upset about. If that''s the case, they certainly don''t have your well-being in mind.

Good luck!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

On the invite, where you acknowledge there will be a reception put "adult only" ...

Family is another situation entirely. If you''re interested in having young cousins, or what not, then address family in a phone call, mass e-mail, or thru the Mom''s.

People will under "adult only" reception meaning, outside of family.

However, there are many creative and fun ways to include kids in a wedding without having them actually front and center...
Like hiring a babysitter or two, ordering in a few pizzas and renting a handful of child-friendly movies. This can be done in a small room at your venue, it''s esspecially easy if you''re hosting your wedding at a hotel. Or, have them doing a small craft.

I''m not a parent, but we did this for my wedding and the guests in attandance who took advantage of this perk stayed longer, and had more fun, I do believe.

If you opt for this, just include a small insert in the invite directed only to the families whose children you opt to include...

 

[mimzy]

i have to warn against putting "adult only" on the invitation because it is sort of misleading. the event is not truly an "adult only" event.....just not every kid is invited. some kids definitely are. also, unless your wedding is very small and everyone knows EVERYONE, your FI''s mom''s friend who didn''t get to bring her little boy isn''t going to know that it''s your niece running around, she''ll just know that it''s a kid that someone was allowed to bring (because they asked? who knows?) while she wasn''t extended the same courtesy. plus, this is a little nitpicky, but it might be relevant depending on your guest list, if there are a good amount of teens coming, they aren''t adults either. I think it is a safer route to rely on the names on the invitation and word of mouth to relay the ''no kids'' message.

 

[SuLi]

We just attended a wedding where an e-mail was sent out after the invitations were received stating that no children were allowed at the wedding -- both family and friends. I kind of thought that it was an unusual way of letting people know.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

I have attended many weddings where the reception was indicated as "adult only" and children who were participants in the wedding attended the reception. Often times I have seen a cousin or two attending the reception to keep the other kids company. I have never heard of other guests being offended. It seems that the majority assume children present are immediate relatives

I was recently struggling with whether or not to invite children to our wedding and after speaking to almost all of my friends I was surprised to find the majority of them said they would not bring their children to the wedding even if it was allowed.

 

[Diva0413]

Thanks all!

I thought the best idea was to only address it to those that are invited, but knowing the group of people I''m dealing with, I''m afraid that I''m going to get a few RSVP response cards saying they''re inviting 4 people (even though it was addressed to 2). I came across this template on the Internet. What do you think of this as a RSVP response card?


We have reserved two seats in your honor.
M___________________________
{ } Accept with pleasure
{ } Decline with regret
Please respond by June 16, 2006

 

[MaggieB]

Date: 10/8/2008 10:56:23 AM
Author: Diva0413
Thanks all!

I thought the best idea was to only address it to those that are invited, but knowing the group of people I''m dealing with, I''m afraid that I''m going to get a few RSVP response cards saying they''re inviting 4 people (even though it was addressed to 2). I came across this template on the Internet. What do you think of this as a RSVP response card?


We have reserved two seats in your honor.
M___________________________
{ } Accept with pleasure
{ } Decline with regret
Please respond by June 16, 2006

To be honest, in the PAST if I had gotten that RSVP card, I would have been offended - like, does she think I''m stupid, I can figure out how many people are invited. Now that I''m a bride and I''ve gone through RSVP hell, I totally understand.

 

[marchswallowbird]

Date: 10/6/2008 8:53:40 PM
Author: Haven
People will know their children are not invited to your wedding when the kids'' names do not appear on the inner envelopes of the invitation.

This is true only if people are familiar with wedding etiquette. Those who are not (which is quite a few people these days) may not notice the subtletly of not having their kids'' names listed. Also, not everyone does inner envelopes anymore. And in their excitement to open the invite, they may not really notice exactly whose names are listed on the envelope.

 

[Dreamer_D]

We personally spoke to everyone on our list who had kids and asked them not to bring them. Then the dam broke and one said she couldn''t get a sitter and she was flying in, and another simply added her kid to the RSVP and we gave up and the kids came anyways

There were only 4 or 5, so this wasn''t such a big deal, but people can be really rude about it. "What, you mean my dear and beloved child isn''t invited to your wedding???" I wish you the best and hope your family is more respectful that mine!

 

[mimzy]

another subtle hint you can drop is if the women are invited to your shower when you are writing thank you notes you can make sure to say "i''m so looking forward to seeing you and _(husbands name)__ at the wedding in __(month)___!". that way it makes it pretty clear that you aren''t planning on seeing their kids....

some people may not pick up on it, but it''s just another hint