Wedding Cheesy??? Oh no.

[alli_esq]

I am so bad at this wedding planning stuff!!!! I decided on my venue and date (November 20, 2009), even though I''m not thrilled with the venue...but it''s far enough away that I don''t have to stress about everything right now
(as an aside, my venue was the only place we could find that was close to our budget and could accommodate my date restrictions...the truth is, the first time my mom and I visited the place, we were in love with it, but I''ve been back twice more since then and each time, I get less enthralled. Oh well, I suppose you get what you pay for.)

Aaanyway, my DF is a great guy (obviously--I''m marrying him!), but he really finds so much of the normal wedding stuff so hokey and put-on...I can''t disagree with him, even though there are some traditions I really do like...

So I''ve been trying to think of things that would get him more excited about the party--I know he is happy to have an occasion that he can share with his friends and family, and I know he''s excited to marry me (which is sweet), but I need ideas that are not sappy and saccharine, but will sort of tie in our interests...I was thinking that, because we both love movies and he is an aspiring filmmaker (he''s very visual), maybe a slideshow of us growing up, and getting together, etc., might be up his alley (although my parents have LOTS of video of me as a kid, his have none of him, so a video collage wouldn''t really work)...but when I mentioned it to him last night, he was like, "honey, I love you, but that''s really cheesy."

dammit. I want to have something special about our wedding, something that will make it memorable, something personalized...but I am really not the creative one...I am such a bad bride!!!! boo!

 

[CDNinNYC]

Do you have a theme picked out? Maybe do old Hollywood where you can incorporate his love of film? You can name the tables after favourite movies, play songs during dinner from favourite film soundtracks, etc...

ETA: instead of a generic candy buffet/bar, you can do one with candy/chocolate/popcorn that you would find in a movie theatre.

There are some great Old Hollywood theme ideas here if you're interested...

 

[marchswallowbird]

See my other post on this subject, but I think there is a way to do a slideshow that is not cheesy at all. I think it totally depends on what images you choose, what music you use, and above all, keep it SHORT (under 5 minutes).

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 10/16/2008 1:09:25 PM
Author: CDNinNYC
Do you have a theme picked out? Maybe do old Hollywood where you can incorporate his love of film? You can name the tables after favourite movies, play songs during dinner from favourite film soundtracks, etc...

This is a fantastic idea!

It''s really easy to side-step activities, songs or traditions you may feel are cheesy or reinvent them in a way to make them completely your own. Some of my best ideas happen when I am in the car on the way to work or as I stroll past a store window or some tree that is full of fall color...so my advice, since like me you have plenty of time to think and re-think ideas, is to try and capture them as best as you can as they float through your mind. Re-visit each idea over time and the ones that really resonate with you will begin to stand out and eventually you will start to incorporate them into your day completely cheese free

 

[Junkenpo]

I saw pictures of a friend-of-a-friend''s wedding...and above the head table, were "movie poster" banners.... Bride on one, groom on the other... in a "Mr & Mrs Smith" theme. Except they used groom''s name of course.

Could he get into something like that? Or instead of a slideshow, perhaps he could film the two of you reinterpreting a famous (love) scene from a classical movie? Casablanca, Gone with the wind? Or go contemporary/superhero?

If my hubby had any talent that way, he''d probably have had us re-do somethign from Princess Bride.

But we''re silly like that.

 

[gtn]

Maybe you could get him to find a good videographer and have your FI work as the "director" and have him build a story board/vision board for your videographer, maybe even one of his friends (hint,hint) to do. He will have to get more involved in the process, at least knowing what''s going on to direct your film.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 10/16/2008 11:52:03 PM
Author: Junkenpo



I saw pictures of a friend-of-a-friend''s wedding...and above the head table, were ''movie poster'' banners.... Bride on one, groom on the other... in a ''Mr & Mrs Smith'' theme. Except they used groom''s name of course.


Could he get into something like that? Or instead of a slideshow, perhaps he could film the two of you reinterpreting a famous (love) scene from a classical movie? Casablanca, Gone with the wind? Or go contemporary/superhero?


If my hubby had any talent that way, he''d probably have had us re-do somethign from Princess Bride.

But we''re silly like that.

Haha we are dancing to the love theme from the princess bride for one of our slowdances...men...haha

i was just wondering if you''ve had any luck coming up with something alli?

 

[alli_esq]

aw, you girls are great...

It had crossed my mind to ask FI to think of something that he could direct--I have no idea what that would be, but that''s a good idea to get him involved, Junkenpo and gtn! We''ll see--we''re going to dinner tonight, so maybe I''ll bring it up after a couple of drinks

Neither of us can dance, or I might have tried to do something fun with like a funny movie-dance or something...but that really won''t work with us--we''re both dorks dancing-wise.

I definitely want to incorporate some movies that we both especially love, but I am really at a loss...I figure our first dance can be from a movie we like, but who knows...

My head''s already spinning and I''ve done nothing so far!!! eek. I''m also feeling kind of down because I saw these photographers I absolutely loved and somehow convinced myself in my mind that they would be perfect and now after hearing their quote, I know that''s totally impossible.

Planning a wedding on a budget is so not my cup of tea. This is not my forte!!!

 

[Nocturnius]

As a bride, I would have never made my guests sit through any kind of slide show of me and my husband, and as a guest, I would probably find a good reason to go to the bathroom during such a slide show. It''s a personal opinion; I think it''s very awkward. It''s like going to someone''s house and their parents pull down their photo albums. I want to crawl under the couch.

It''s sweet that you think it''s a great idea, but he''s probably the type of person in my category - he probably thinks it''s very awkward and uncomfortable to make the guests sit through a slideshow.

If you wanted to get him excited about it, find his niche and hand it over. Big on music? Let him pick the DJ and playlist. Big on lighting and effects? All his.

Or you could do what I did. Just wait. My husband wasn''t excited about plannng the wedding at all, and would do the "huff!" and find something btter to do when I brought it up. But when the day came, he was even more excited than I was, and when night was over, he wanted to do it all over again (he''s already trying to talk me into a vow renewal for our five-year anniversary).

 

[alli_esq]

See, I''m a big old sap and I LOVE seeing old pictures of people...I love going through people''s albums--I love seeing all of the PS weddings--girls I don''t even know! I remember when I was in high school, I went to the wedding of a very dear friend of my family, and my dad''s best friend (the groom''s father) had put together a slide show of both the bride and groom''s childhood pictures, up to the time that they got together and started their relationship. I remember laughing and crying and thinking it was such a moving tribute--even as a teenager.

Then again, I can''t even go to a wedding without crying--even when it''s people I don''t know!!! I just get so emotional about thinking of people making that important commitment to each other...

Anyway, I certainly don''t want to bore my guests, Nocturnius--and although I know that most of my friends and family would think it''s absolutely lovely to have a slideshow like that, the more I realize that his friends and family couldn''t care less and would probably be bored. I don''t know...I mean, all of his friends (and probably 75% of his family) think it''s stupid for us to even have a "big" wedding...which is probably why he''s inviting considerably fewer people than I or my family are. None of his friends are excited for us, and many of them, in one way or another, implied that it''s a waste to do it. I hate that that cuts down on my excitement, but I know I have to do what''s right for me--sharing the day where I can really declare my love for my fiance, and make that promise to him..I know I would always regret it if I didn''t have the other people I love the most in the world there.

Sorry, I''m going off my own topic here. I''m totally emotional right now (lack of sleep + that time of the month = me unable to concentrate on anything)

My FI doesn''t really have a wedding niche. He''s a very "tell me when and where and I''ll be there...10 minutes late" kind of guy. I do love him tremendously, but planning is really not his thing. He knows how much the wedding means to me, which is why he''s agreed to do it, and he wants to be married, but the fanfare is something that doesn''t excite him. The honeymoon does, but I wouldn''t trust him (he wouldn''t trust himself) to even plan that on his own. At least I''ll get his feedback on that, whereas colors and flowers and music doesn''t interest him. Even the photographers--he doesn''t want cheesy, but other than that, he doesn''t really care. I''m happy for you, Nocturnius, that your husband got into the event, but I don''t anticipate that with my FI. He''s a great guy, really hilarious, but he just doesn''t care about this stuff.