Cellphones at fine restaurants

[kenny]

One restaurant gives a 5% discount if you check your phone at the door.
What a great idea.

http://www.bbc.com/travel/blog/20120823-distraction-free-dining-in-los-angeles

 

[HollyS]

Maybe we could get restaurants to add 5% to the bill of patrons who use their cellphones while dining at a fine establishment? (Or Cracker Barrel.)

 

[Skippy123]

Maybe we could get restaurants to add 5% to the bill of patrons who use their cellphones while dining at a fine establishment? (Or Cracker Barrel.)

lol!

 

[Enerchi]

Maybe we could get restaurants to add 5% to the bill of patrons who use their cellphones while dining at a fine establishment? (Or Cracker Barrel.)

THIS x 100000%!!! Oh, how rude it is when people chatter away, thinking that they are the only people in the world, and their thoughts are those that could have come from Moses on the mount!!! uh...NO! it is rude and FYI --- sound carries!!!

I applaud the restaurant that reduces the bill by 5% - wish more would adapt that policy.

 

[junebug17]

You know, it's funny - my husband and I eat out fairly often, and I can't recall one time when someone was talking on a cell phone at their table. Not in high-end places, or more casual ones. Not once, over the course of many years. Not saying it doesn't happen, I've just never personally encountered it.

 

[Haven]

I don't know if I've ever seen someone talking on a cell phone in a restaurant, to be honest. But I like Holly's idea--charge 'em extra if they do!

I was in the OB-GYN's office a couple hours this morning and it really saddened me that of all the other people waiting in the waiting area with me, only one brought a book to read. All of the others were playing games on their cell phones or texting. One started to talk on her phone, but the receptionist asked her to please hang it up.

 

[Skippy123]

Maybe we could get restaurants to add 5% to the bill of patrons who use their cellphones while dining at a fine establishment? (Or Cracker Barrel.)

THIS x 100000%!!! Oh, how rude it is when people chatter away, thinking that they are the only people in the world, and their thoughts are those that could have come from Moses on the mount!!! uh...NO! it is rude and FYI --- sound carries!!!

I applaud the restaurant that reduces the bill by 5% - wish more would adapt that policy.

I agree, it is so rude to the people they are with and the people around them.

 

[Gypsy]

I have no issue with data at the table. DH and I both check emails, etc. when we are out sometimes. We don't talk on the phone however, inside the restaurant. if there is a call, we take it outside. I expect others to do the same.

 

[madelise]

I have no issue with data at the table. DH and I both check emails, etc. when we are out sometimes. We don't talk on the phone however, inside the restaurant. if there is a call, we take it outside. I expect others to do the same.

Ditto. Other patrons using their cellphones don't bother me at all. I don't really watch them the whole time I'm there, anyway. It's the yapping that is intruding, since I can't NOT hear them.

I do like the idea of 'unplugging' for meals, though. I'm horribly addicted to my cellphone, and following up on what everyone is doing on Facebook. I recently deactivated my FB temporarily for school reasons, but I found that I'm connecting with the SO over dinner in a way that I have not done so in years. Instead of filling those empty moments where we can't think of anything to say by picking up our phones for entertainment, we sit in peace and just "be". I like it.

Restaurants should also start up-charging those patrons who think making out at the dining table is appropriate.
I've seen strangers' tongues.
and I really wasn't trying to look.
It was very effective in making my supposed-to-be top rated meal completely unappetizing.

 

[zoebartlett]

Maybe we could get restaurants to add 5% to the bill of patrons who use their cellphones while dining at a fine establishment? (Or Cracker Barrel.)

Where's that "Like" button?

 

[iLander]

I've never understood the attraction to cell phones. I have one, occasionally someone calls me or texts. If I'm waiting somewhere, and all conversation is exhausted with my companions, I'll look at my photos. If I'm alone, waiting, I'll play Tetris. That's it.

Who are all these people talking to? Isn't it someone you just recently talked to? Is it really that interesting to talk to them again?

I don't get it . . .

What's with the constant chat, chat, chat? WHY do people seem more interested in the phone person than the real 3D person they're with? If you don't like 3D person, why are you with them? If I'm talking to someone in RL, and someone calls, I turn off my phone. I think it's the height of rude to take a call when conversing, it's like you're deliberately interrupting the person you're with.

I would understand an important business call, that you've been waiting for, with a polite "Excuse me, I've been waiting for this call". Then take it outside. But to grab the phone and spend 10 minutes chatting with someone about "He said what?!! What did she say?". I would walk out of the restaurant and leave that person, and not look back. Maybe I'm old-fashioned? Nah, screw it, it's just rude.

I'm sorry, these things have puzzled me for years now . . .

 

[MissStepcut]

Oh dear. I am rather afraid a 5% surcharge would only encourage the most obnoxious users to show off how important they are by paying the charge and making double the show of their blackberry usage.

 

[HollyS]

There can be a problem with "data" at the table:

DH and I witnessed a family of four, seated next to us, at our local (real deal, not OG) Italian restaurant one evening, each of them entranced with their cell phones. (Now, DH and I go to this place because it feels like a wonderful little European bistro, we've come to know the owners, who are European, and no matter how often we go, we feel we've treated ourselves. It's a special place - - if you take the time to enjoy its unique qualities.) ALL FOUR members of this family spent the ENTIRE evening, between bites which they barely noticed, texting, gaming, or interneting on their phones. NO TALKING, no relating, no family time, no connecting, no appreciating the specialness of where they were, or enjoying the taste of non-chain homemade food.

Nothing was more important to any of them, Mom and Dad included, than that little screen in their hands. And we wonder what is wrong with the American family and how could we be so out of touch with our kids. Or why we are never satisfied "in the moment".

Well, duh.

 

[sstephensid]

There can be a problem with "data" at the table:

DH and I witnessed a family of four, seated next to us, at our local (real deal, not OG) Italian restaurant one evening, each of them entranced with their cell phones. (Now, DH and I go to this place because it feels like a wonderful little European bistro, we've come to know the owners, who are European, and no matter how often we go, we feel we've treated ourselves. It's a special place - - if you take the time to enjoy its unique qualities.) ALL FOUR members of this family spent the ENTIRE evening, between bites which they barely noticed, texting, gaming, or interneting on their phones. NO TALKING, no relating, no family time, no connecting, no appreciating the specialness of where they were, or enjoying the taste of non-chain homemade food.

Nothing was more important to any of them, Mom and Dad included, than that little screen in their hands. And we wonder what is wrong with the American family and how could we be so out of touch with our kids. Or why we are never satisfied "in the moment".

Well, duh.

Well true, it's a problem. But it's not YOUR problem. As long as they aren't being disruptive, I don't care if others text, email, whatever. Now if the person I'M dining with does this, then it's my problem. I can't believe parents let their kids do this during dinner, but I guess it's their choice.

 

[0-0-0]

Oh dear. I am rather afraid a 5% surcharge would only encourage the most obnoxious users to show off how important they are by paying the charge and making double the show of their blackberry usage.

 

[HollyS]

There can be a problem with "data" at the table:

DH and I witnessed a family of four, seated next to us, at our local (real deal, not OG) Italian restaurant one evening, each of them entranced with their cell phones. (Now, DH and I go to this place because it feels like a wonderful little European bistro, we've come to know the owners, who are European, and no matter how often we go, we feel we've treated ourselves. It's a special place - - if you take the time to enjoy its unique qualities.) ALL FOUR members of this family spent the ENTIRE evening, between bites which they barely noticed, texting, gaming, or interneting on their phones. NO TALKING, no relating, no family time, no connecting, no appreciating the specialness of where they were, or enjoying the taste of non-chain homemade food.

Nothing was more important to any of them, Mom and Dad included, than that little screen in their hands. And we wonder what is wrong with the American family and how could we be so out of touch with our kids. Or why we are never satisfied "in the moment".

Well, duh.

Well true, it's a problem. But it's not YOUR problem. As long as they aren't being disruptive, I don't care if others text, email, whatever. Now if the person I'M dining with does this, then it's my problem. I can't believe parents let their kids do this during dinner, but I guess it's their choice.

No, I don't agree that this is not a problem for me or for you. The breakdown of society starts in small ways. Are we really better off, as human beings - - meaning, are we really more satisfied with our lives now and our relationships than ever before in history? There's a whole school of thought that we are far, far removed from what truly gives us contentment, happiness, a sense of security, and optimism. Ignoring our families for momentary, fleeting images on an IPhone is just one fine example of how we don't care enough to really connect and enjoy each other.

 

[MissStepcut]

No, I don't agree that this is not a problem for me or for you. The breakdown of society starts in small ways. Are we really better off, as human beings - - meaning, are we really more satisfied with our lives now and our relationships than ever before in history? There's a whole school of thought that we are far, far removed from what truly gives us contentment, happiness, a sense of security, and optimism. Ignoring our families for momentary, fleeting images on an IPhone is just one fine example of how we don't care enough to really connect and enjoy each other.

Society is breaking down? I don't know if we're better off than ever, in any time of history before, but the divorce rate is down since the 70s, more people are getting college educations than ever before, more people are literate, we use that literacy to instantly connect with all kinds of knowledge... And while maybe, from the outside, when you see my husband and I playing on our phones during dinner, you think we're failing to connect with each other, it certainly doesn't feel that way to us.

 

[kenny]

I don't care if people (including families) text, play games or stare into crackberries, and ignore each other at a fine restaurant.
People are put on this planet to fit into MY self righteous, narrow minded box.

I DO care if they are talking on their cells in a way that disturbs me.
It's like second hand smoke.
You are free to smoke; just don't make ME smell it.

 

[HollyS]

I don't care if people (including families) text, play games or stare into crackberries, and ignore each other at a fine restaurant.
People are put on this planet to fit into MY self righteous, narrow minded box.

I DO care if they are talking on their cells in a way that disturbs me.
It's like second hand smoke.
You are free to smoke; just don't make ME smell it.

Thanks, kenny. Again.

It's not as if you don't have your own box. Hell, you've stuffed me back in it so many times, I feel like a jack-in-the-box. I keep trying to pop out, but you are insistent that that is where I belong.

Well, friend, I've got a box for you, and you seem to be more than comfortable remaining in it. Too bad; I was hoping that someday you would prove me wrong.

 

[distracts]

My fiance and I both read books on our phones... the kindle app is a lifesaver for not having to lug a book around with you. And yes, we will sit at dinner both reading on our phones. For us it is calming and bonding. We live together - we have plenty of time to talk, but usually we are out to eat right after work when we are both stressed and just want to get food and relax. We find reading relaxing. I don't think we're destroying the fabric of society by doing so.

 

[madelise]

No, I don't agree that this is not a problem for me or for you. The breakdown of society starts in small ways. Are we really better off, as human beings - - meaning, are we really more satisfied with our lives now and our relationships than ever before in history? There's a whole school of thought that we are far, far removed from what truly gives us contentment, happiness, a sense of security, and optimism. Ignoring our families for momentary, fleeting images on an IPhone is just one fine example of how we don't care enough to really connect and enjoy each other.

Society is breaking down? I don't know if we're better off than ever, in any time of history before, but the divorce rate is down since the 70s, more people are getting college educations than ever before, more people are literate, we use that literacy to instantly connect with all kinds of knowledge... And while maybe, from the outside, when you see my husband and I playing on our phones during dinner, you think we're failing to connect with each other, it certainly doesn't feel that way to us.

I think the breakdown happens when we start judging other people for petty things that don't intrude on our own personal lives.
Talking on the phone in the next booth = annoying, because you can't not hear their conversations.
Texting/Emailing/Surfing the web on the phone in the next booth = not annoying, because it's not anyone's business what other people are doing.

Who's to define the human race as a whole by what individuals choose to do, and what satisfies those individuals? How does one come to the assumption that those who use technology often are not truly content, happy, secure and optimistic? Is almost every young person under the age of 25 now miserable, insecure and pessimistic because their lives are pretty much surrounded by technology 24/7? Who's to judge the party sitting across the restaurant, all individually on their cellphones? How do you know they aren't really connecting and aren't enjoying each other? If the parents/dining partners have no issue, I don't see why strangers should have an issue.

 

[Haven]

My fiance and I both read books on our phones... the kindle app is a lifesaver for not having to lug a book around with you. And yes, we will sit at dinner both reading on our phones. For us it is calming and bonding. We live together - we have plenty of time to talk, but usually we are out to eat right after work when we are both stressed and just want to get food and relax. We find reading relaxing. I don't think we're destroying the fabric of society by doing so.

DH and I will go out for Sunday breakfast and read the newspaper quietly, together, at the table. It's one of my favorite things to do.

 

[madelise]

My fiance and I both read books on our phones... the kindle app is a lifesaver for not having to lug a book around with you. And yes, we will sit at dinner both reading on our phones. For us it is calming and bonding. We live together - we have plenty of time to talk, but usually we are out to eat right after work when we are both stressed and just want to get food and relax. We find reading relaxing. I don't think we're destroying the fabric of society by doing so.

DH and I will go out for Sunday breakfast and read the newspaper quietly, together, at the table. It's one of my favorite things to do.

That's one pastime with the exboyfriend that I miss! SO doesn't read newspapers and I stopped subscribing to the Times when I started school. I miss reading the paper, and staying on top of the ridiculous news.

 

[ksinger]

No, I don't agree that this is not a problem for me or for you. The breakdown of society starts in small ways. Are we really better off, as human beings - - meaning, are we really more satisfied with our lives now and our relationships than ever before in history? There's a whole school of thought that we are far, far removed from what truly gives us contentment, happiness, a sense of security, and optimism. Ignoring our families for momentary, fleeting images on an IPhone is just one fine example of how we don't care enough to really connect and enjoy each other.

Society is breaking down? I don't know if we're better off than ever, in any time of history before, but the divorce rate is down since the 70s, more people are getting college educations than ever before, more people are literate, we use that literacy to instantly connect with all kinds of knowledge... And while maybe, from the outside, when you see my husband and I playing on our phones during dinner, you think we're failing to connect with each other, it certainly doesn't feel that way to us.

Perhaps breaking down is a bit strong. But changing not for the better? Yeah, that one's pretty easy to see. At least if you were around before the explosion of technology that is allowing us to "entertain ourselves to death". The available ways for me to ignore the actual world and the actual people in it, are just staggering. The negative effects of technology are the stuff of Youtube videos - like the idiot woman who fell face-first into a fountain because she was texting and wasn't paying attention to the real world, but you can see it most blatantly on the highways - with vehicles tricked out with entertainment systems, and being driven by people who can't be bothered to stop texting long enough to actually DRIVE their vehicles, something which is such a problem in fact, that whole ad campaigns are now on TV to try to get people to understand that their ignoring driving (the real world) in order to pay attention to texting (not real) can have negative effects. The real world trumps the virtual. Who knew? (And just to hammer home that technology-driven "information" is not just "different", but is weirdly addictive, consider for a moment - no one in my generation (I'll be 50 in a few months) would have EVER considered reading a book while driving - that's just stupid right? Yet we now have a whole generation who thinks they can talk, read a tiny screen and text while driving, if one is to believe the ad campaigns and one's own eyes while driving.)

As for the divorce rate? The other way to view that is that the marriage rate is down. Sharply. Among the middle class. And out of wedlock births are up, sharply. Has raising kids gotten cheaper or easier or more successful for one person? Don't think so. Many of those single mothers will have to avail themselves of some sort of public assistance at some point, but hey, my personal choice won't affect society, right?

Perhaps we do have more college educated now, but they are coming out of that education with crushing debt loads into a world with less available jobs, and a greater gulf between the rich and poor than at any time since The Gilded Age. A big move forward? Maybe, maybe not.

Each one of those - to marry or not, to have a child without a supportive partner or not, to get into massive debt or not - was an individual choice, and yet, when you stand back and look from a height, you can see the collective weight of all those "people vary get your nose outta my business" individual choices. They DO have the collective effect of changing society.

 

[yennyfire]

Well said ksinger!!

 

[MissStepcut]

ksinger, I am a little surprised at your agreement that there are signs of a crumbling society, only because of that old quote attributed to one or another of those ancient philosophers:

"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they allow disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children now are tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

 

[iheartscience]

I don't know if I've ever seen someone talking on a cell phone in a restaurant, to be honest. But I like Holly's idea--charge 'em extra if they do!

I was in the OB-GYN's office a couple hours this morning and it really saddened me that of all the other people waiting in the waiting area with me, only one brought a book to read. All of the others were playing games on their cell phones or texting. One started to talk on her phone, but the receptionist asked her to please hang it up.

Ditto, can't say I've been out at a nice place (or even a not so nice place) and had people talking on the phone.

And I play on my phone in waiting rooms but I'm usually reading. I have the NY Times and the New Yorker apps on my phone (I subscribe to both) and I also have apps for HuffPo, Politico, The Economist, etc.

ETA oh and duh, I also have the Kindle app! No actual Kindle but I've read several books on my iPhone and I don't mind it at all.

 

[ksinger]

ksinger, I am a little surprised at your agreement that there are signs of a crumbling society, only because of that old quote attributed to one or another of those ancient philosophers:

"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they allow disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children now are tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

I never said society was crumbling, nor am I blaming "this generation" for anything - they didn't invent the technology we're discussing after all, and they are merely a further extension of their parents attitudes etc, and carry a great portion of their parents just as we do ours. This isn't about me yelling "Get off my lawn!!", but right now I'm too tired to elaborate.

 

[MissStepcut]

Re-read your post, sorry for putting words in your mouth.

Personally, I feel that technology has enriched all of my relationships in so many ways. The fact that my husband and I spend a lot of time absorbed in our devices (which means we're absorbed in reading the news, keeping up with friends and relatives, researching whatever issue popped into our heads) doesn't really seem like a red flag to me.

 

[ksinger]

I was done with this thread but my husband just HAD to point me to this article this morning.

How Your Cell Phone Hurts Your Relationships
The mere presence of a phone affects how you relate to others
http://www.source.ly/10RaE#.UEcZvtZlSpY

excerpt:

"The presence of the cell phone had no effect on relationship quality, trust, and empathy, but only if the pair discussed the casual topic. In contrast, there were significant differences if the topic was meaningful. The pairs who conversed with a cell phone in the vicinity reported that their relationship quality was worse. The pairs also reported feeling less trust and thought that their partners showed less empathy if there was a cell phone present.

Thus, interacting in a neutral environment, without a cell phone nearby, seems to help foster closeness, connectedness, interpersonal trust, and perceptions of empathy — the building-blocks of relationships. Past studies have suggested that because of the many social, instrumental, and entertainment options phones afford us, they often divert our attention from our current environment, whether we are speeding down a highway or sitting through a meeting. The new research suggests that cell phones may serve as a reminder of the wider network to which we could connect, inhibiting our ability to connect with the people right next to us. Cell phone usage may even reduce our social consciousness.

Perhaps it would be going too far to prepare for important conversations by throwing your cell phone into the closet, or leaving it in the car on first dates. But if you are spending the day with people you really care about, you might want to reconsider the next time you reach for your phone to reply to a text message or check sports scores. Just having that phone nearby is bad enough."