Calling all lyricists and songwriters ........

[MAC-W]

I’m trying to help with a memorial song for a very very close family member that is terminally ill and need advise about one section.

The lyrics I’m having problems with are

“Now at his journeys end, something something;
And all we have left is/are something something;
But with the love he shared, something something;
And in that love, our journey never ends."




What would you suggest?





The person is ex forces and bravery and honour are big concepts, as well as pride in what they achieved in their life.

Its a family collaboration and the title is going to be “Journeys End”.




We want it to be triumphal but with an element of longing for the life/love lost, if that makes sense.

I’m not fixated on the words I already have (apart from the last line - thats fixed). Happy to change the rest as long as the concept (and importantly the rhthym) remains the same.

HELP! (please)

 

[VRBeauty]

disclaimer - I am neither lyricist nor songwriter (nor poet, for that matter).

How about

“Now at his journeys end, we gather family and friend;
to bid our dear brave soldier* farewell.
But with the love he shared, his life still lends us strength;
And in that love, our journey never ends."


* insert your more appropriate words here

 

[smitcompton]

Now at his journey's end, we are all deeply saddened

And all we have left are life's memories

But with the love he shared, we all felt loves power

And in that love our journey never ends.


Annette

 

[marymm]

“Now at his journey's end, this man of honor;
And all we have left is the shield of his courage;
But with the love he shared, his legacy continues;
And in that love, our journey never ends."

 

[MAC-W]

Thank you all for the suggestions. I really appreciate your help.