Home C-Section Vent

[ImpatientOne]

I am sorry you are unhappy!

IMHO, vaginal birth is not all it's cracked up to be!!!

I had two c-sections following a vaginal birth. Both were due to failure to progress. The 2nd one I was going for a vbac, but my body would not cooperate.

Honestly, I preferred the c-sections. The second one was definitely easier than the first, probably because I knew what to expect. Both c-sections were done after hours and hours of labor. With the vaginal birth, I literally felt like my body was being split in two. My baby was only 5 lbs 15 oz, so I cannot begin to imagine how horrible that would have felt with a normal sized baby!!!

 

[MMMD]

I''m sorry that you are so upset because of this. I had two vaginal births but two of my friends are still troubled by the fact that they had csections and their birth plans didn''t go as they thought so you are certainly not alone in your disappointment. I think the worst things we can do as women is to feel inadequate if we don''t give birth the way we thought we would. There is just too many factors out of our control sometimes.

And, to be honest, I think you have a romantic idea of natural birth. My first daughter went into distress as she was being delivered and they rushed her off as soon as she cleared the birth canal - I didn''t see her for an hour as they performed tests to make sure she was okay. I''m not saying this to be mean, I just would like you to feel better. It will probably always be a disappointment to you but maybe in time it won''t be so important. I hate to see people stress over things that were out of their control. Life is too short......

 

[Pandora II]

Just wanted to say that I''m horrified that you were treated the way you were after the c-sections.

Was there a reason that the babies were taken away?

Here in the UK we ONLY have rooming in (unless the baby is in the NICU), and after a c-section they will do skin-to-skin as soon as possible unless there are serious complications. Even though I couldn''t hold my daughter, the doctors tried to get us together several times but I was too out of it. However, when I was in ICU she was in my arms the whole time and we slept in the same bed - oh except when the OBs kept stealing her for a cuddle!

If I decide to have another baby, I will be referred to my hospital''s special unit for people who have had a traumatic previous birth who help you to plan the next one so that it is as good as possible for all.

The ''Baby Friendly Hospital'' initiative here has made a huge difference as far as making birth and the postnatal period as positive as possible and giving the mother as much control as they can.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 1/7/2010 7:17:03 PM
Author: NY Princess
I remember one video in particular, where the woman was screaming and pushing and all of a sudden the baby comes out all messy and beautiful and full of life. The nurses quickly wipe off his face and put him in his mother''s arms and everyone is bawling. It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. I cried when I saw that video and told my husband that it was was going to be like that for us.

I had a VB and it SOOO wasn''t like that. B/c I had meconium in my water there was an entire Peds team who whisked her off behind a curtain to clear her lungs. My DH didn''t even cut the cord b/c time was an issue. In fact my OB put his finger in her mouth to keep her from inhaling any of the fluid so she didn''t even cry at first. Like MMMB said I think you have an unrealistic belief of what a VB is. I am sure there are the movie/perfect types but spend sometime on the pregnancy thread and you will quickly learn that those are RARE. Labor is difficult, messy, painful and *mostly* unpredictable.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

So sorry you feel this way, and I totally understand why you want to vent. It is so hard to give up your ideal, to see your plans change and to have no control over any of it.

My experience was much like Pandora's - rooming in, co-sleeping for the first night, and skin to skin contact minutes after delivery. The hospital had 'baby friendly' status (it was a maternity hospital, so you'd hope that would be the case).

All that said, my experience was almost exactly the opposite of everything I wanted. I had a c-section after 17 hours of contractions that weren't going anywhere. I was induced, because there was meconium in my amniotic fluid, but I didn't make progress and A became distressed, so we went for emergency surgery.

It certainly wasn't what I planned, at all. I wanted a waterbirth, at home if possible. VBAC is very much encouraged where I live but for me, it would be very different if I had another baby - I'll skip the crappy 17 hours of contractions and go straight to theatre.

 

[gailrmv]

Having my son went pretty much the opposite of how I wanted it to. I was induced for medical reasons, had a horrible labor, and had a C section. There were concerns about my baby (turned out he was fine) but I couldn''t see him for a long time. Things really did not start off well. Before I had him, I had said as long as he is healthy and I am healthy, whatever happens happens. So I wasn''t expecting to feel sad that I had a c-section, but I did for a while. Now (almost 10 months later) I rarely think about it and it doesn''t bother me that much any more. Even though I know vag births can be far from ideal, I really would have liked to go into labor on my own and let my body do its thing - but I trusted my doctors and trust that they did what was right for me, from the decision to induce to the decision to have a c-section.

 

[Amanda.Rx]

You can always look at it from another perspective: without the ability to perform C-section, both of your first 2 children possibly would not have survived during birth (and you may not have either).

Sure it''s "not fair" that so many mothers do the wrong thing, and have no complications, and others do everything right and can barely get a break, but... I think it''s a blessing when any child is born healthy and breathing, with 10 finger and 10 toes.

 

[NY Princess]

I finally saw "The Business of Being Born" and I thought it was very good.

I am the only person among my aunts and cousins who had a c-section. I don''t have any sisters and my 3 SIL''s had VB''s. I was the last to start my family so I guess I thought that my pregnancy would be the same. Ha, Ha! Not!

Anyway, when I wrote the vent, I had visited the OB/GYN that very day. While I am trying to keep things positive, I had a horrible thought the other day....I was thinking that since it will be a scheduled c-section, my poor baby will be napping when all of a sudden she''ll feel herself being pulled out. Ughhh! I don''t know why I like to torture myself with these terrible thoughts. I know that I just have to relax.

Oh well. Thanks again to people who have responded to this post.

 

[jewelz617]

Or you could think of it that she will be all scrunched up and then all of a sudden ahhhhh... finally room to stretch!

 

[steph72276]

Date: 1/12/2010 10:43:07 PM
Author: NY Princess
I finally saw ''The Business of Being Born'' and I thought it was very good.


I am the only person among my aunts and cousins who had a c-section. I don''t have any sisters and my 3 SIL''s had VB''s. I was the last to start my family so I guess I thought that my pregnancy would be the same. Ha, Ha! Not!


Anyway, when I wrote the vent, I had visited the OB/GYN that very day. While I am trying to keep things positive, I had a horrible thought the other day....I was thinking that since it will be a scheduled c-section, my poor baby will be napping when all of a sudden she''ll feel herself being pulled out. Ughhh! I don''t know why I like to torture myself with these terrible thoughts. I know that I just have to relax.


Oh well. Thanks again to people who have responded to this post.

Don''t worry...I was born via c-section and have no memory of it

. She''ll be fine! I do understand how you feel though...my c-section is scheduled for 2 weeks from today and I''m getting nervous at the thought, but I know it will be fine and people go through it everyday. Just try to relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

 

[NY Princess]

Steph72276- If it''s not too personal...would you mind sharing your experience with the scheduled c-section?

 

[steph72276]

Date: 1/15/2010 12:04:56 AM
Author: NY Princess
Steph72276- If it''s not too personal...would you mind sharing your experience with the scheduled c-section?

Sure! If you check out the pregnancy thread in about 2 weeks, I will post the whole story!

 

[NakedFinger]

NY- I cant speak from personal experience, but I am one of 6 kids, and all 6 of us were c-sections....the last 5 scheduled.

My oldest brother was an emergency c-section after 40 hours of labor. All of us after were scheduled. I know you are worried about picking your child's birth date but (an oddly enough, my mom and I were just talking about this last night), only one of the "scheduled" c-sections actually happened on that date. For the rest of us my mom went into labor before the scheduled date. So its not as boring as you think, just walking into the hospital and being like "im ready!". My mom still got to experience going into labor, and the birthdays for the rest of us were all a surprise. Also, I do know that they dont necessarily re-open the previous scar. It might be close to it, but my mom calls her's her "tick marks" cause she seriously has 6 lines on her stomach. Also, my dad joked last night that we all came out beautiful because the c-sections too...they didn't have to worry about smooshed faces or cone heads.

Which I get is the positive of c-sections.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, and obviously you'd like your birth plan not to get messed up, but the important thing is doing things the safest way for you and your baby. You may not get to experience a vaginal delivery, but there are many women that will never even experience being pregnant and having a baby of their own. So the plus side is although the way you get there may not be your preference, either way the end result is that you have your beautiful healthy baby.

 

[MustangGal]

I had a cs after a full day of induced labor and 2 hours of pushing. The baby was turned, and had I had a fever towards the end, so they took him away to the NICU, and I didn''t get to see him for about 6 hours. I don''t feel cheated at all, but I can see how you could be. At least this time, with a scheduled one, you should be able to hold the baby right after. It might also be some of the hormones exagerating thigns a bit

.

My SIL is pregnant with #2 now, and will also have a scheduled cs, her first was in distress and had an emergency cs, her husband didn''t even get to be in the operating room.

I know my cousin, that also has both babies via cs, also feels "cheated".

 

[miraclesrule]

Please don''t feel like a failure. Moms are not the failures. The medical establishment is the failure. It''s a pathetic failure. It''s a miracle that they successfully bring babies into existence at all in the U.S. But they do. And they primarily do this by c-section. For too many reasons to list. I could write books on the research I have done on this topic, but it gets me too riled up.

When all is said and done, labor is called labor for a reason. It''s not a picnic. ::::deleted daughter birth story:::::::::

Bottom line: You can''t attempt a VBAC without the support of a close community of individuals and professional who have experience and know it is successful with low-risk candidates and are willing to be present through your labor. That is very difficult to find. So, it isn''t your fault.

For the ladies who have perineum issues (it isn''t bladder control, it''s your very traumatized perineum), it does get better with time. I promise.