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- Jul 31, 2014
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Haha am I the only one that cries way more in movies where dogs die than the ones where people do?? Even on TV if something happens to a dog I tend to lose itElliot86|1488082419|4133765 said:
Haha am I the only one that cries way more in movies where dogs die than the ones where people do?? Even on TV if something happens to a dog I tend to lose itElliot86|1488082419|4133765 said:
Elliot86|1488081364|4133760 said:Oh I'm sorry Jenn, I missed the above. Are you accusing me of going off site to bully you? Because that is extremely untrue and how nasty rumors get going, but since you feel so bullied am I supposed to sit here and take it? I don't think so. You target me, I respond. I will always defend myself even if no one else does. I can handle myself, and always have.
If you honestly believe I have some sort of circle off PS devoted to bullying you, I suggest you enlist Ella to conduct a thorough investigation of the matter.
lovedogs|1488082748|4133767 said:Haha am I the only one that cries way more in movies where dogs die than the ones where people do?? Even on TV if something happens to a dog I tend to lose itElliot86|1488082419|4133765 said:
JoCoJenn|1488082752|4133768 said:Elliot86|1488081364|4133760 said:Oh I'm sorry Jenn, I missed the above. Are you accusing me of going off site to bully you? Because that is extremely untrue and how nasty rumors get going, but since you feel so bullied am I supposed to sit here and take it? I don't think so. You target me, I respond. I will always defend myself even if no one else does. I can handle myself, and always have.
If you honestly believe I have some sort of circle off PS devoted to bullying you, I suggest you enlist Ella to conduct a thorough investigation of the matter.
I didn't target you; I removed the posters' names for the example I posted above so as not to target anyone or make it personal. You chose to out yourself, so why not explain what you meant. You said you 'defend yourself', so ... were you just assuming others' thoughts & opinions like you did mine in that thread?
I'm sure Ella has better things to do than police 'romper room' behavior.
sonnyjane|1488082422|4133766 said:kenny|1488081933|4133762 said:sonnyjane|1488075534|4133734 said:If someone yanks on a dog's tail over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, I don't consider the dog a bully for biting.
If you feel a poster repeatedly 'yanks your tail' why have you not put that person on ignore?
That's what the function is for.
I use it ... instead of the alternative (bullying and piling on) which you and others are apparently defending.
Report policy-violating posts or put poster on ignore.
Don't stoop to their level and engage in a pissing contest.
The ignore function keeps my tail out of reach.
I'm just explaining a mentality. I've blocked the people that upset me the most, but when others quote them, I still see the exchanges. And Kenny, while I agree with you about many things, I strongly disagree with your claim that you don't participate in piling on. I won't dig through thousands of posts, but you've had your fair share of participation in those types of threads.
kenny|1488087709|4133791 said:sonnyjane|1488082422|4133766 said:kenny|1488081933|4133762 said:sonnyjane|1488075534|4133734 said:If someone yanks on a dog's tail over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, I don't consider the dog a bully for biting.
If you feel a poster repeatedly 'yanks your tail' why have you not put that person on ignore?
That's what the function is for.
I use it ... instead of the alternative (bullying and piling on) which you and others are apparently defending.
Report policy-violating posts or put poster on ignore.
Don't stoop to their level and engage in a pissing contest.
The ignore function keeps my tail out of reach.
I'm just explaining a mentality. I've blocked the people that upset me the most, but when others quote them, I still see the exchanges. And Kenny, while I agree with you about many things, I strongly disagree with your claim that you don't participate in piling on. I won't dig through thousands of posts, but you've had your fair share of participation in those types of threads.
Compared to my 12-year history, recently I try to avoid piling on, and am much more likely to just put a person on ignore.
Ignore is a wonderful feature if one wishes to avoid the temptation to pile onto a 'problem' individual.
That said, I am not shy at all about calling out what I don't like or disagree with ... not shy at all ... but I try to keep it about the topic not the person.
But yeah, unfortunately sometimes I see quoted posts of ignorees; I have to bite my tongue and hold my nose.
The hardest time to not respond is when they say something insulting/harmful about me that's not true.
Then I remind myself that people I care about see right through them.
People I don't care about may lower their opinion of me, but I don't care about them, so Pffffft!
katharath said:Elliot86|1488066178|4133644 said:PS is basically the nicest forum I have ever frequented. You can make amazing friendships here!
YES this. I've been frequenting forums since they became a "thing", and I've formed friendships that have lasted many years from the various forums I've been a part of - but I've always thought this about PS. There are quite a lot of really great people here, to the point that it actually stands out to me.
siv1|1488120687|4133847 said:Jen. Your pup is adorable.
I was referring to what you said here:Elliot86 said:LOL you speak to me like you're my mom and I owe you some kind of explanation! I don't except to say those are my words and I stand my them fully. Your baiting is a constant distraction here and I don't need some gang behind me to have that be obvious. You coming back the next day to wag your finger at me because I didn't give you the response YOU felt was appropriate? 50something year old women who think these discussions are bullying? "Cool" is about all I can muster on that one.
That seemed to imply you were intending to 'correct the record' so to speak with regard to what you meant here:Elliot86|1488081364|4133760 said:Oh I'm sorry Jenn, I missed the above. Are you accusing me of going off site to bully you? Because that is extremely untrue and how nasty rumors get going, but since you feel so bullied am I supposed to sit here and take it? I don't think so. You target me, I respond. I will always defend myself even if no one else does. I can handle myself, and always have.
... which appears contrary to your earlier statement on bullying:Elliot86 said:Your constant emoji laden, dismissive, taunting? That's insulting. It's insulting to basically everyone here.
In light of your own stated and clear stance on bullying, and since you claimed the post as your's (vs me targeting you on it), I was hoping you might clarify how you might 'know' this (that I am allegedly 'insulting everyone here' with emojis and such) if you didn't do the very thing you stated you oppose.Elliot86|1488039477|4133506 said:Now where online shenanigans stop and bullying starts is often in the things that happen off site. Private facebook groups, emails, snark sites, all designed to "out" people in real life and systematically attack them. These are the lowest of the low who don't have the balls to say exactly what they mean on the forum. Maybe they want to let loose without being moderated, maybe they are too chickensh!t to have a confrontation, but that is where I draw my line.
JoCoJenn|1488125331|4133880 said:I was referring to what you said here:Elliot86 said:LOL you speak to me like you're my mom and I owe you some kind of explanation! I don't except to say those are my words and I stand my them fully. Your baiting is a constant distraction here and I don't need some gang behind me to have that be obvious. You coming back the next day to wag your finger at me because I didn't give you the response YOU felt was appropriate? 50something year old women who think these discussions are bullying? "Cool" is about all I can muster on that one.
That seemed to imply you were intending to 'correct the record' so to speak with regard to what you meant here:Elliot86|1488081364|4133760 said:Oh I'm sorry Jenn, I missed the above. Are you accusing me of going off site to bully you? Because that is extremely untrue and how nasty rumors get going, but since you feel so bullied am I supposed to sit here and take it? I don't think so. You target me, I respond. I will always defend myself even if no one else does. I can handle myself, and always have.
... which appears contrary to your earlier statement on bullying:Elliot86 said:Your constant emoji laden, dismissive, taunting? That's insulting. It's insulting to basically everyone here.
In light of your own stated and clear stance on bullying, and since you claimed the post as your's (vs me targeting you on it), I was hoping you might clarify how you might 'know' this (that I am allegedly 'insulting everyone here' with emojis and such) if you didn't do the very thing you stated you oppose.Elliot86|1488039477|4133506 said:Now where online shenanigans stop and bullying starts is often in the things that happen off site. Private facebook groups, emails, snark sites, all designed to "out" people in real life and systematically attack them. These are the lowest of the low who don't have the balls to say exactly what they mean on the forum. Maybe they want to let loose without being moderated, maybe they are too chickensh!t to have a confrontation, but that is where I draw my line.![]()
You certainly do not need to respond. I just didn't want to assume you were behaving in a way that appears quite contradictory to your own statements on bullying, and thought you might wish to clarify your meaning. But I am 'cool' letting your statements speak for themselves if you choose to just leave it at 'cool'.
Have a nice day!![]()
lovedogs|1488126412|4133887 said:Just trying to understand this exchange. Jen: Do you assume that Eliot participates in off-line groups in order to attack others because she said that things you say are insulting to "everyone here"?
I'm not sure I follow that logic, so want to make sure I'm not misunderstanding something. I don't think Eliot's statements imply she's part of any offline sites or groups designed to target others. I assume (although I certainly could be wrong), that she was referring to the fact that you've had some arguments on here with multiple people, and there have been conversions (on here) about how emojis might be seen as passive aggressive.
I'm not trying to attack you (Jen), or anyone else. Just trying to potentially clarify things.
jordyonbass|1488160830|4134147 said:Funny that this thread has come up, the last time I remember being bullied was high school until recently when I started a new position at a new company. The company viewed me as a gold mine of information and experience but part of the requirement is that all staff go through a 4 week training induction for the company. At first I was being excluded and ignored by the 'young girl group' in our training (about half of the entire group) which is TECHNICALLY bullying but that didn't bother me, I couldn't care less about that. But then the trainer made some comments in front of the group about where I took my wife for our honeymoon in a very condescending manner and that did hurt as it hit me in one of my big weaknesses, my self esteem. It hurt because I cared more for what my wife thought about me as her husband and not because of what everyone else thought of me.
How did I deal with both? Well, I think part of the reason why the young girl group didn't like me was because I have prior experience in the industry and have been able to fill the gaps when the trainer had been unsure of a process (which she would ask me to do often), so I think they labelled me as a 'know-it-all' type. That doesn't bother me at all, when they come ask me a question they get a single word answer and no explanation for their own learning.
As for the trainer, she apologized to me for what she had said and tried to make amends (something I found hypocritical since the day before she was teaching the company's anti-bullying policies) but too late, damage done. I know that my wife was not at all underwhelmed about where we went for our honeymoon, but for someone who has had self esteem issues his whole life it was not something I could laugh at when it was said.
Calliecake|1488168881|4134180 said:Jordy, I have never met you or your wife but I can tell you no matter what you did or where you went on your honeymoon, it meant the world to your wife because she had you as her husband.
We paid for our wedding and had just purchased a new home two months prior to wedding. We were too broke to go on a honeymoon. We took the week after the wedding off as vacation time and stayed home. One of the best weeks of my life.
Calliecake|1488168881|4134180 said:Jordy, I have never met you or your wife but I can tell you no matter what you did or where you went on your honeymoon, it meant the world to your wife because she had you as her husband.
We paid for our wedding and had just purchased a new home two months prior to wedding. We were too broke to go on a honeymoon. We took the week after the wedding off as vacation time and stayed home. One of the best weeks of my life.