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Wedding Buffet or Sit Down?

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Gypsy

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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It''s too early for me to make the choice, but I''m BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD at work so I thought I''d ask.

My mother is VIOLENTLY against buffets.

I don''t find them offensive at all, but don''t think they are the best thing with a large crowd.

My wedding''s fairly small so I think it would work.

What are your thoughts about buffets versus sit down? The buffet at our venue would cost us a little less, and would enable us to have more food selection available.
 
I like buffets. You get what you want and how much you want. For a big crowd who''s hungry, maybe not so efficient. At my friend''s wedding, the DJ played "who knows the couple best" to determine the order of the tables to be let go, which was fun! Buffets are more informal than sit downs, maybe that could be a factor for you?
 
Personally, I LOVE eating at buffets at weddings because I like to try a little bit of everything. I think as long as it won''t take forever for everyone to eat and you have food that will do well not being served IMMEDIATELY then it''s more fun to have a buffet!
 
This is such a loaded question! I think a lot of it comes down to personal choice.

My old boss will NEVER eat at a buffet because she doesn''t like the idea of the food sitting out and/or random people using the utensils, etc. Basically, germophobe (I guess she just blocks out the idea of what restaurant kitches are like).

We are having a sit down dinner, but that''s because it was the better option. I like it because it is a bit more formal and my guests will get to feel as if they are being waited on, instead of having to go up and get their own food.

The upside to buffets is that you get to pick what you have. If you don''t like mashed potatoes, you don''t have to have them, etc. Also, you get to make your own portion sizes. If you only want a small amount of something, no problem. If you LOOOOOOOVE the broccoli go ahead and take a bunch.

If you feel that the buffet really makes a better selection and the savings is worth it, I don''t think it matters. Pretty much at least one of your guests will prefer whatever you didn''t choose.
 
I prefer sit-down. I just don''t like juggling stuff at a buffet. Plus, if you''re having older guests, it can be quite difficult for them.
 
I like buffets because of the reasons already stated, but I also appreciate reasons against buffets.

However, I think buffets lend a lot to a "one big family get together" vibe that I want my wedding to have. I mean, these aren''t strangers. They all love you and FI. It''s not like you''re standing in line next to the sneezing guy at pizza hut then grabbing his serving spoon...
 
I love buffets, although I am a pig, and more likely to overeat and then regret it. I think people eat more at buffets in general, in fact.

That said, my grammy basically said she wasn''t coming to the wedding if it was a buffet. She was kidding, but. But. It can be really hard for older people.
 
I started typing a response but it got rather long, because this topic has come up so many times before, and it'll really just come down to what you and your FI feel is the best. Because everyone has their likes and dislikes of both, and like someone else said no matter what you do someone will say you should have done the opposite.

But I think a good point to start off of is what kind of food you want to have. Some choices just make more sense to serve as a sit down, and there are some choices that it just makes sense to have them be a buffet.

We are having a buffet because for us, in the end, it made more sense for various reasons. We've already had tons of people complain, yet alot of them are people who HAD buffet style dinners at their weddings. Of course they also complain about our food choices and where the reception is to begin with and this and that and that...
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Good luck in your decision, remember to do what makes you happiest, because you know you won't make ALL the guests happy! :)

ETA: I second Indy that it can be hard for older people, and also if you're having any children at the wedding, it can be difficult for their parents who need to carry their plate and their childs plate as well. I really didn't want kids at our wedding but it seems we're having them anyways. Part of the problem I DO have with buffets is that there are people who just don't pay attention to their kids who are technically old enough to get their own food, but in a public setting probably should not... you know, the kid who you see picking in his nose for the ten minutes while his table is waiting and then picks up five rolls and puts them back before deciding on the one he wants... of course this is not limited to children, sadly adults do it too :P

Sometimes buffets will have people actually serving you, which can be nicer in certain ways, since you don't have to figure out how to balance everything while putting food on the plate.
 
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My post was eaten!

Here's the shorter version...

We asked our venue's coordinators about a buffet but they strongly advised us against having one. My venue is a restaurant and they never offer buffets during their regular dinner hours. The coordinators said that buffets aren't the greatest option because 1) a lot of food gets wasted, 2) it's not really cheaper because the chef(s) have to cook so much extra food for each of the available food options, just in case certain things are hot ticket items, and 3) no one, particularly older guests, should have to wait in line for their food.

I can see their points but I don't have anything against buffets, as long as they're done well. I think sit down dinners are a more popular option, at least where I live in the northeast. I've only been to a couple receptions that had buffets and one that had stations (which is essentially a buffet).
 
I think it depends on the venue too. When we looked at Holly Farm which is outdoors/tropical a buffet seemed really cool. For a tented elegant reception a sit down seems nicer. Also one thing I considered was how many vegan/vegetarian guests I may have. With a buffet they can pick and choose their meal as opposed to getting one potentially unappealing vegetarian meal choice on the menu.
 
Personally, I have enjoyed buffet weddings. It has given me the opportunity to talk to people at other tables and eat what I like and as much of it as I please.

I''ve been to weddings where the couple come to my table talk for a bit, take pictures and then excuse me to get my food. That way you get pictures with all of your guest before their lipstick wears off.

As others have mentioned, it is a personal choice. If you feel that the choice are better with the buffet, then go for it. It will be more difficult for older people, but when we do buffets for family get togethers, someone always serves the older adults. Enlist someone to serve your grandfather.


I also like the idea of having someone "serve" the food like when you go to a cafeteria, keep that snot faced kid/adult away from my rolls.
 
T-gal that was helpful, thank you.

Okay... so the price difference isn't large enough to decide it for me. It's a couple of bucks a head difference.

Here are the other reasons I'm favoring a buffet:

+ I don't have to ask the 'which entree' question on my reply cards, then track it.
+ The duet option at our venue is 'okay' but the buffet menu looks yummier-- these are the only two options that allow me to avoid the tracking meals thing on the reply cards.
+ The venue will allow us to bring in one dish of Persian food if we choose this option, which would be really nice.
+Encourages mingling.

Reasons I don't care for it are:

It's seen as a 'budget' option by both our families.
Icky people near your food.
Old people.

The formal versus less formal thing doesn't matter to me at all, honestly. The wedding will be what it will be.
 
Do you think they will do the Duet option and have a table with the Persian dish. You will get the best of both worlds....
 
Date: 2/7/2008 6:50:15 PM
Author: gtn
Do you think they will do the Duet option and have a table with the Persian dish. You will get the best of both worlds....
Click to expand...
No, but we did float the idea of them doing the duet with the Persian dish (its a rice... like a pilaf) on the side, and though the chef wasn''t happy about it, he said that he''d do it.
 
I have eaten at some very good buffets but for a wedding I MUCH prefer a sit down, here''s why:
If the ceremony is at the same place as the recpetion I have seen people book it out of the ceremony or even leave the ceremony early to get the best place in line
Catering staff are watched by health inspectors to make sure they are careful around the food, cousin theresa with hay fever does not have those constraints
If I am going to waiting for food either way, I would rather be sitting and staring at the expensive center pieces rather than standing and looking at the back of uncle john''s hairpiece
It allows people to mingle which can be a very bad thing. We get married in less than 9 months and our families have not met because it is going to be a fireworks show you can see from space
People will overeat. I know that sounds stupid, but all the studies show that when people don''t choose their own portion size they eat less but feel just as full. No studies are need to show what happens when a bunch of VERY full adults try to get jiggy with it, nasuea ensues
No constant questions about "is this vegan?" or "does this have gluten"? It may not mean much in your case, but there are a lot coming to my wedding who will hold up the line indefinitely asking if there are eggs and if so did they come from free range chickens, etc. If they have the option of a vegan meal or gluten free meal on the RSVP, no problems
I feel pampered when some one brings me the food so I don''t have to get up or leave my conversation because I am hungry. Plus there is staff to clean all the dirty dishes away
 
Date: 2/7/2008 7:08:29 PM
Author: brazen_irish_hussy
I have eaten at some very good buffets but for a wedding I MUCH prefer a sit down, here''s why:
If the ceremony is at the same place as the recpetion I have seen people book it out of the ceremony or even leave the ceremony early to get the best place in line
Catering staff are watched by health inspectors to make sure they are careful around the food, cousin theresa with hay fever does not have those constraints
If I am going to waiting for food either way, I would rather be sitting and staring at the expensive center pieces rather than standing and looking at the back of uncle john''s hairpiece
It allows people to mingle which can be a very bad thing. We get married in less than 9 months and our families have not met because it is going to be a fireworks show you can see from space
People will overeat. I know that sounds stupid, but all the studies show that when people don''t choose their own portion size they eat less but feel just as full. No studies are need to show what happens when a bunch of VERY full adults try to get jiggy with it, nasuea ensues
No constant questions about ''is this vegan?'' or ''does this have gluten''? It may not mean much in your case, but there are a lot coming to my wedding who will hold up the line indefinitely asking if there are eggs and if so did they come from free range chickens, etc. If they have the option of a vegan meal or gluten free meal on the RSVP, no problems
I feel pampered when some one brings me the food so I don''t have to get up or leave my conversation because I am hungry. Plus there is staff to clean all the dirty dishes away
Click to expand...
That''s actually an excellent point. I was thinking of it the other way around in re: to veggies/vegans being able to pick their own food.
 
I love buffets!! So many choices, I think it''s great. I really want a buffet, and I know he does.
 
I''m definitely a buffet fan! I think you should do whatever you want, and it seems like you''re leaning towards buffet. The only real issue seems to be old people, so do you think that you could get a server to bring them their food?
 
Gypsy, do you have any guests coming who have food allergies (severe allergies, specifically, or even mild)? We do and we''re asking guests to let us know about them so we can pass the word on to the coordinators/chefs. I would think that it would be easier to deal with the allergy issue if there are only a few menu choices versus a buffet with several more dishes and ingredients. Would there be the possibility of something special being served just for those who might not be able to have food at the buffet? Maybe something to think about if the allergy issue is of concern.
 
Date: 2/7/2008 6:29:46 PM
Author: Gypsy
T-gal that was helpful, thank you.

Okay... so the price difference isn''t large enough to decide it for me. It''s a couple of bucks a head difference.

Here are the other reasons I''m favoring a buffet:

+ I don''t have to ask the ''which entree'' question on my reply cards, then track it.
+ The duet option at our venue is ''okay'' but the buffet menu looks yummier-- these are the only two options that allow me to avoid the tracking meals thing on the reply cards.
+ The venue will allow us to bring in one dish of Persian food if we choose this option, which would be really nice.
+Encourages mingling.

Reasons I don''t care for it are:

It''s seen as a ''budget'' option by both our families.
Icky people near your food.
Old people.

The formal versus less formal thing doesn''t matter to me at all, honestly. The wedding will be what it will be.
Click to expand...
Gypsy, I''m beginning to take offense
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Earlier, I believe you referred to the problems we "old geezers" have by having the reception dinner start at 9 o''clock, and now "old people" are a bother at a buffet; in fact, come in third after "Icky people near your food".

Aside from being totally politically incorrect, you''re insulting your grandma and grandpa (unless they''re not allowed to attend), possibly your mother who is disabled (not by choice), your aunts and John''s parents.
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You''re an intelligent woman and a lawyer by profession; surely, you can''t be proud of referring to those who have lived through considerably more than you in such a rude fashion.

Don''t forget that with statistics pointing to a longer life span, you''re going to be one of those people your younger relatives won''t want to be bothered with at their weddings.
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I''m usually 100% behind your choices, but you have disappointed me with your total lack of respect and compassion that we older folks are entitled to.
 
We chose a buffet for many reasons. Rather than the traditional onelongtablebuffet, we're having four different stations and they each shound ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS!

These are the main reasons why we chose buffet:
- Our families have varied diets, but the biggest issue is that my father and most of his family members are vegetarian. SO, we're having a vegetarian station with all veggie-friendly food.
- I love buffets at weddings. I'm a picky eater, and I rarely find that enough on a plated meal that I enjoy. I love the variety of buffets.
- We're having a late morning wedding with a jazz reception, so the buffet just felt like a better option for the timing.

It's interesting that your families think buffet is a budget option--ours is going to cost quite a bit more than a plated meal, and that's actually always been the case with the caterers with whom we've spoken. Buffets cost more because they need to make more food, as people are likely to eat more if they take their own portions.

I can't believe people have complained to others about their choices--what ghastly guests! I can't even imagine.

ETA: As for your worries about people who would have a difficult time getting their own food, our caterer suggested that they create (and serve) plates for our relatives who have problems with mobility (e.g. my elderly grandparents), and they're going to have a little station for the kiddies so they can get their own meals (and eat food they like, such as chicken fingers and hotdogs). I'm sure your caterer can do something similar, I didn't even ask--mine suggested it himself.
 
Date: 2/7/2008 10:55:32 PM
Author: isaku5





Date: 2/7/2008 6:29:46 PM
Author: Gypsy
T-gal that was helpful, thank you.

Okay... so the price difference isn't large enough to decide it for me. It's a couple of bucks a head difference.

Here are the other reasons I'm favoring a buffet:

+ I don't have to ask the 'which entree' question on my reply cards, then track it.
+ The duet option at our venue is 'okay' but the buffet menu looks yummier-- these are the only two options that allow me to avoid the tracking meals thing on the reply cards.
+ The venue will allow us to bring in one dish of Persian food if we choose this option, which would be really nice.
+Encourages mingling.

Reasons I don't care for it are:

It's seen as a 'budget' option by both our families.
Icky people near your food.
Old people.

The formal versus less formal thing doesn't matter to me at all, honestly. The wedding will be what it will be.
Click to expand...
Gypsy, I'm beginning to take offense
8.gif
Earlier, I believe you referred to the problems we 'old geezers' have by having the reception dinner start at 9 o'clock, and now 'old people' are a bother at a buffet; in fact, come in third after 'Icky people near your food'.

Aside from being totally politically incorrect, you're insulting your grandma and grandpa (unless they're not allowed to attend), possibly your mother who is disabled (not by choice), your aunts and John's parents.
38.gif


You're an intelligent woman and a lawyer by profession; surely, you can't be proud of referring to those who have lived through considerably more than you in such a rude fashion.

Don't forget that with statistics pointing to a longer life span, you're going to be one of those people your younger relatives won't want to be bothered with at their weddings.
20.gif


I'm usually 100% behind your choices, but you have disappointed me with your total lack of respect and compassion that we older folks are entitled to.
Click to expand...

I think maybe I was misunderstood.

One of the reasons I don't like buffets is that they are inconvenient for the eldery as it involves walking, waiting, and sometimes juggling different items (plates, cups, etc). For the eldery and disabled (which my mother could still be) buffets are not as good an option logistically. That's all I meant by that comment.I actually meant it in a considerate way, as in: I don't like the fact that a buffet would incovenience some of my guests and make them feel dependant on others to help them. I'm sorry if the words I used to express this were disrespectful. I truly didn't intend it that way, and will more care in the future to chose my words more cafefully. As for the ranking of the older guests after 'icky people near your food' ... they weren't in any particular order, I was at work and posting a little hurriedly. But again, I will take more care. I truly am sorry.

ETA: I'm sorry, but I don't remember the 'old geezers' comment. Can you please direct me to the post?
 
Buffets are fun! It''s a great way for people to get up, move around, continue to mingle with people you didn''t sit them with. The feel is overall more casual, unless you go for large carving stations and really *glam* the whole thing up.

On the other hand, sit down is far more traditional and more expected at weddings.

I think you need to decide what the feel of your wedding is, and go from there. My DH and I bounced the idea around for a while before settling on a sit down meal. But, we still loved the element of "try everything!" so we made sure that we did a very wide array of food--from shrimp, to stuffed chicken to FM and of course a veg. plate too. People loved it...and it saved me a bunch of time by not having to figure out who wanted what to eat!
 
I forgot to add earlier that although we''re having a sit down dinner, we are having a dessert buffet instead of the more traditional wedding cake. We''re having berries and cream, chocolate covered strawberries, and a bunch of mini desserts. I''m really excited about that! I''m not sure why our coordinators were okay with a dessert buffet when they weren''t okay with a dinner buffet. Maybe because dessert would be available throughout the dancing portion of the day and guests can feel free to take what they please when they want it. Dinner on other hand, could be more complicated in that regard.
 
Thank you for the added input Italia and Zoe.

I talked to John about it, and we''re going to go for the duet option and talk to the chef about serving the rice on the side. It will be more convenient for everyone that way.

Also, there was a comment on one of the review boards that Garre did not plan enough food for a buffet at one event, and ran out. That would be horrible and embarrasing, so we''d rather not risk it. As someone pointed out, people can tend to over eat at buffets, so the food portion planning could be a problem.

Plus as our reception will not be a nighttime event, a little extra formality will be nice.
 
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