Wedding Brides - What''s a waste of money ?

[blissfulbride]

I want to make this wedding as simple, and stress free as possible and you wont ever see me making my own favors. So what do you think is a waste of money and time.

 

[violet02]

Unless you really need them (which I don''t)... if you''re having an outdoor tented reception, things like wood floors, carpets, french doors blah blah... these things cost THOUSANDS just for the inside of a tent! We dont need things like a limo either... luckily. No honeymoon suite the night of... just a room at the house or a hotel room, whatever. Basic flatware and glassware is cheap too, anything beyond that costs a lot per piece. I originally wanted gold rimmed glasses, um almost 2 bucks apiece vs free from the caterer!

I love making my own favors btw. Lots of fun. I''m saving over 1k on making my own programs, menus, and placecards too. DIY can save you a lot of money... if you''re into that kind of thing though.

I''m not super good at thinking of things right now since my own wedding is way over budget.

 

[blissfulbride]

well ebay is the way to go for all that stuff. there are people who do favors for you and menus for really cheap. I''m in the process of asking questions but things are super cheap there.

 

[Shoopy]

I think it depends on the venue too.

For ex., we are seriously considering this one venue that has an awesome view of the Miami bay. Because of that we don''t need to spend a lot on flowers. $300 towards some tiny centerpiece is enough. They also provide the linens in the package and you can upgrade. It''s not necessary. At least when I''ve gone to weddings, I never pay attention to the linens. I agree with the hotel comment. You don''t need a honeymoon suite. We wanted to get a suite but it was $750 a night so we''re getting their king luxury room for $150 a night

. If I think of anything else, I''ll pop in!

 

[jcrow]

favors and programs and std''s.

 

[violet02]

Date: 9/4/2008 10:21:53 AM
Author: blissfulbride
well ebay is the way to go for all that stuff. there are people who do favors for you and menus for really cheap. I''m in the process of asking questions but things are super cheap there.

Actually that''s what we''ll be doing one day. Selling custom programs, menus, and STDs for a nice price to folks like you!

 

[Pandora II]

No car - my ceremony and reception were at the same venue, no-one would see me arrive as they were all inside, so I got my father to drive us over.

Plain white china & linens

Only served wine (very good wine though)

Shoes - $10 from Ebay

Bought loads of fake ivy, fairylights etc that looked real till you felt them and can all be resold on ebay.

Bowls of fruit for centrepieces.

I spent money on flowers/stationery and my dress.

I DIYed all the stationery except the STDs (Vistaprint magnets) and my hand-engraved invitations. Also DIYed my cake, the flowers, the favours (I loved doing those), the BMs dresses and wreaths.

Fancy hotel rooms are a complete waste of money - you won't be there and awake long enough to appreciate it...

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I would say just about anything other than the bride, groom, witnesses, and officiant could be considered a waste of money. You don''t NEED the pomp and circumstance to get married. You just need each other, the officiant, and witnesses. Of course that''s not realistic for some people so I''d say for a stress free wedding-next to hiring a planner-go with a venue that offers a lot of services for the price. We purposely downsized from 120-50 guests to get married at a restaurant. The restaurant will provide the ceremony and reception space, set up and take down of both, bar service, 3 course meal with a cocktail hour and cake, flowers for the tables, linens, china, and a sound system for our Ipod all for $100/head. and the owner is very hands on and told me specifically that she doesn''t want me to worry about anything in the days leading up to the wedding.

Our previous choice would have required us to pay a fee for the space, rent tables, chairs, linens, china, a bar, get a caterer, a DJ, a florist, and set up/take down basically by ourselves. So it was the whole 9 yards.

So our new plan requires letting go of a certain amount of control (letting her set up etc), however our choice of space was based on the interior design which she did herself. So I trust that she has a good eye for design and she''s committed to making it my "dream event".

I really think we just got lucky with all of this. But I don''t see why you can''t have a stress free wedding if you keep an open mind and are laid back and willing to let other people help you.

BTW, I keep seeing you on WeTV ads! I love that dress!!

 

[jcrow]

oh yeh, we didn''t do transportation for the bm party. we only got a getaway vehicle for ourselves.

 

[violet02]

One shuttle instead of two to get guests to the house we''re having it at. Takes longer but half the cost!

 

[bee*]

flowers to me is a waste of money. I''m going to get bouquets for my girls and I but aside from that, I''m going to go with candles instead. Flowers die after a couple of days so I can''t see myself spending much on them.

 

[marchswallowbird]

I think it totally depends on your budget and what you can afford. Part of me would LOVE to have a huge fancy wedding -- think Platinum Weddings -- and there are many people who can well afford them. For them, nothing is a waste of money. Actually if you think about it, all that money goes SOMEWHERE and in the long run keeps our U.S. economy humming right along. The phrase "waste of money" is completely subjective.

That said, I am on a budget, as FI and I are paying for everything ourselves. For me, a waste of money would be anything I could get for similar quality at a lower price, i.e. dress, shoes, wedding jewelry, and veil. I''m not hiring a wedding planner/day-of coordinator, having imported or out-of-season flowers, large centerpieces, expensive invitations, or a car (dad will be driving). No d.j., using the vendor''s regular (cheapest) linens, no fancy fondant on the cake, no favors.

I will be splurging on food at the reception, photography and a hotel room (regular rate at the Ahwahnee Hotel in Yosemite is $500 a nite), and MAYBE hair and makeup, which, because of travel fees, will run me upward of $600.

 

[Kim N]

Date: 9/4/2008 10:40:17 AM
Author: jcrow
favors and programs and std's.

Ditto. I'd also add fancy car and hotel room. And we're going low-key on centerpieces, cake, and music, and DIY for veil, invitations, and flowers. Paying for it ourselves, so we're cutting or minimizing a lot of extras.

 

[pjean]

What do we think about flowers (boutinieres, corsages, etc.) for parents, close relatives, etc.? Important or waste of money? (I''m trying to decide whether to do them.)

 

[karasue91]

My first dress was a HUGE waste of money!!! about $1300 with the alterations I had done before I decided to buy the dress I actually wore on the wedding

still angry with myself for that!!

 

[Kim N]

I''m doing boutonnieres and corsages for parents, but not for any relatives. However, we''re DIY for all flower arrangements, so they''ll be pretty low-cost.

 

[karasue91]

Date: 9/4/2008 2:40:38 PM
Author: pjean
What do we think about flowers (boutinieres, corsages, etc.) for parents, close relatives, etc.? Important or waste of money? (I''m trying to decide whether to do them.)

I didn''t think they were necessary, but MIL wanted to do it, and I''m glad we did. We gave a boutonnier/corsage to both sides of parents (5 people since my mom is remarried) and the 2 singers we had. I think it surprised my step-dad since we aren''t very close at all, and our aunt and uncle (the singers) seemed really surprised and pleased by them too, so in the end I''m glad we bought them!

 

[blissfulbride]

Im having a destination wedding at the wynn las vegas and i agree with centerpiece because no one will take them. We are all on vacation and no one will be walking around the strip with them. lol

I''m cutting cost on everything that''s not that important to us, and that is not to stressful.

 

[pjean]

Ooh, the Wynn. I just got information about a possible reception there. I''ve heard their flowers are pretty expensive, so that''s probably a good decision about the centerpieces.

Destination weddings definitely narrow down your DIY options, don''t they?

 

[blissfulbride]

I dont know what a DYI is lol what is that? lol

I''m thinking of doing a tiffany themed wedding with a twist, because so many people are doing it !

 

[tberube]

well, speaking of favors....that''s one thing that''s a waste of money, IMHO. They''re (usually) cheap, and even if they''re not, not many people really care much for them. Usually at the weddings I''ve been to, more than half of the guests don''t even take their favors home.

Also - Other things I find a waste of money are: special cake knives and toasting glasses, aisle runners, chair covers (although I did buy them myself because the chairs were atrocious), makeup artists (unless you''re not good at putting makeup on yourself), open bars at hotel weddings (unless money is no object to you), wedding gowns that cost over 20% of your overall budget, flowers in every nook and cranny of your ceremony room, especially if your ceremony will be short, $400 shoes that will be hidden under a long dress and never worn again, wedding planners for a normal, simple wedding, outrageous tall expensive wedding cakes that cost $5,000....and I''m all outta ideas for now.

Again....just My opinion...

 

[lliang_chi]

Blissful, I think the best way to answer this question is to ask you, your FI, and parents "What is the most important to you for this wedding?" Really this is the day that you have all hoped/wished for. I''m sure everyone has something that they really hope for. You FI might want open bar, your mom might want flowers up the wazoo. All of these you have to consider then you can start cutting and rearranging everything.

I had a little mini-argument with my twin sister about kinda this issue this past weekend. This wedding is NOT just about you and/or your FI. This is also something your parents have been wishing and dreaming about since you were born too. It seems unfair to just discount whatever their feelings are. And I''m just glossing over and saying parents, basically anyone you legitimately feel has a "stake" in the wedding.

In my case (and we''re still planning), my FI wants an open bar, so we''re making that work. I couldn''t care much about my dress (as long as it looks good on me) so I bought mine from Filene''s Running of the Brides for $450. My mom wants lots of flowers, corsages for all VIPs and simple boutonnières for each guest even. So we''re going to DIY for all those flowers to save money. I found invitations from an Indian company for about $1.25/invite. Things are still going to be costly, but you focus on what''s important. The rest are just details.

And as a disclaimer, we''re a little over a year out from planning my wedding. I could very well be full of hooey, but right now that''s my story and I"m sticking to it.

Good luck!

 

[zoebartlett]

Sorry for the length of this! Here''s my list of things that you don''t need to bother with (some of which I did have anyway):

Programs -- I put a lot of effort into them (I was inexperienced with Publisher, so that took time to figure out) but we had a TON left over

Save the dates -- I love the ones we did, but I didn''t initially want to do them. We were going to send them out only to those who had to travel a great distance, but we wound up sending them out to everyone I think. If word gets around of when/where your wedding will be held, I don''t think they''re necessary. Sure, it''s nice to get a heads up about an event, but it''s not mandatory. If you want to have them though, there are so many ways to make it a super cheap deal.

Garter and bouquet toss

Really expensive shoes that you won''t see

Favors

Welcome bags for guests staying at the hotel -- We did them, and I''m glad we did. We got blueberry jam and put a few jars in everyone''s bags, along with some brochures for local sights/attractions. While I don''t think you have to put together an actual bag, I do think it''s nice to at least write a personal, heart-felt thank you card to guests. That can be left in the hotel jsut as any bag would be, but it''s a less expensive way to thank people for attending your wedding.

Toiletry items for the bathrooms -- we didn''t do them and I''m glad. I think that might be one of those things you may think you need to put together, but it''s just more money to spend. Not worth it.

A get away car or limo for you and your husband

A limo for the bridal party

The bridal/honeymoon suite -- we stayed in one for two nights (the night before and the night of our wedding). It was going to be three nights, but we moved into a cheaper room for the third night so we could save money. We were hardly in our room long enough to really enjoy it -- we wanted to spend as much time with friends and family.

Toasting flutes and cake knife -- I know some people really like these things, but they''re not things I cared enough about (plus, we had a dessert buffet instead of a cake)

A cake topper

A guest book

Tuxes and traditional bridesmaids dresses (okay, we had both of these, but we only had a MOH and a best man). You could have the guys wear suits and you could have the girls wear nice dresses without them being BRIDEMAIDS dresses. Actually, renting a tux isn''t expensive -- I think it''s cheaper to rent a tux than it is to buy a suit. But if your FI and other men in your party have nice suits, that would be fine, I would think.

Bridal jewelry

 

[Izzy03]

I agree about the transportation to and from the ceremony. WASTE! No limo for me!

 

[amy_dub]

Date: 9/4/2008 6:32:33 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
Sorry for the length of this! Here''s my list of things that you don''t need to bother with (some of which I did have anyway):


Tuxes and traditional bridesmaids dresses (okay, we had both of these, but we only had a MOH and a best man). You could have the guys wear suits and you could have the girls wear nice dresses without them being BRIDEMAIDS dresses. Actually, renting a tux isn''t expensive -- I think it''s cheaper to rent a tux than it is to buy a suit. But if your FI and other men in your party have nice suits, that would be fine, I would think.

At least here in Knoxville, it''s cheaper to buy a suit at the Tanger Outlets (Haggar) or at Kohls/JcPenney than it is to rent a tux. That''s why my groomsmen and fiance are all just buying or wearing a suit they already had. We''re just using a standard black suit, white shirt, and Jon is *suppose* to be picking out matching ties. We figure it''s more logical to spend about $100 for the guys to buy a suit and have to wear later (every guy needs at least one suit) than to spend $140+ on renting a tux for the night, and worrying about them all making it back to the rental place on time.

I also opted to allow my girls to pick their own dresses, as long as they were black and were tea length. Again, it''s a simple dress that they will be comfortable in and would be able to wear again.

Instead of hiring someone to do makeup, my MOH''s mom is doing everyone''s makeup (she''s done my makeup for every formal i had in highschool). I am splurging slightly and paying for all my girls to get their hair done the day of. It''s $35 a girl, and mine is free. I didn''t think that was so shabby.

Some things we''re not wasting money on:
renting a car, programs, save the dates, place cards, flowers beyond bouquets and boutineres, lavish food (opting for finger foods instead).

Something i did spend entirely too much on and completely regret now.... My cake! My cake lady is insanely expensive and increased the price she quoted me because fuel costs went up and we''re having her deliver the cake. If I had just let my caterer do the cake, we would have saved about $400. Yes, my wedding cake it costing me over $500.... But, I''m getting a much better decorated cake in the flavor Jon and I drooled over, ORANGE VELVET! If i had went with the caterer, my choices were chocolate, vanilla or strawberry. Standard white icing. This slightly justifies the ridiculousness of it all in my head.

 

[Mediterranean]

Great thread!

We''re all really different; and everyone prioritizes the elements of their wedding differently. For some people, the most important things are GREAT music and a top-shelf open bar. But I know people whose religion forbids dancing, and I know others whose religion/culture forbids drinking, so to those brides, the great music/free-flowing bar won''t matter much, right?

So, I have kind of climbed on board with this theory: If it''s meant to end up in the garbage, how expensive should it be??

Matchbooks with your names on them, personalized cocktail napkins, poems/toiletries/baskets for the restrooms (unless your reception is on a public beach or in a national forest area where the bathrooms are TOTALLY basic, and bare-bones), programs, place cards/table numbers/escort cards, thank-you notes, calligraphy...all of those things fall under thte "disposable" category, so to me, it would be a waste to go for top-of-the-line stuff.

The only exception I''d make to that rule is for the invitations. Guests tend to equate the formality of the invitation with the formality of the event. It''s the first time they get a glimpse of the "style" of your wedding. Since my wedding is black tie in the evening, I''m going to do some very nice letterpress invitations and have them addressed by hand (cheaper than you think, esp. if the wedding is small. I''m getting this girl from artichoke ink online to do mine for relatively cheap).

Of course, even THOSE can be fudged to look way more expensive than they actually are, as long as you keep the style simple and classic, and dispense with the fuss (like ribbons, embellishments, crazy packaging/paper, tricky sizes, maps, directions, hotel info, etc., etc. All that can go on your wedding website)

Flowers die, but if you have a sparse setting for your event, you need decor. Candles are much cheaper, and they look great. If you have to have flowers, intersperse some cheaper silks in places where people don''t get to see them up-close. Your arch can be silks, for instance, because who the heck walks up to the friggen ALTAR to handle the flowers? Same with the cake.

In fact, the cake is a good place to save money. Tell your baker that you''re only having 30 people at the wedding, and you''ll get a very pretty but MUCH smaller version of a "wedding cake" That''s the one you decorate, feed each other, take pics with....but behind the scenes, your caterer will plate up slices from an undecorated sheet cake (still great tasting, with fillings and buttercream frosting). MUCH less money. I''m talking, like, $0.75--$1.50 per slice as opposed to $2.50 - $15.00 a slice for a HUGE version of the fancy one.

The only thing I wouldn''t try to get a bargain price for is photography. Good shooters are good shooters and since the pictures are the only thing left of the whole night, I''d spend a good bit of money on that. Even videography isn''t as important to me. Wedding pics are pretty prominently displayed in the home (and your parents'' and relatives'' homes) so, yeah. The pics are a big thing to me. And a great shooter can make things look btter than they appear in real-life (such as the silk flowers) and he can find an artistic way to not feature things you chose not to splurge on (let''s say you didn''t upgrade the chairs, or buy pricey covers for them).

 

[honey22]

We are having a destination wedding with family and close friends only (max 20). We are not having a video, favours, wedding cars, STD cards (everyone who will be there already knows), programs, and I am sure a whole lot of other stuff that some people do. Each to their own but, if it's important to you and it fits into your budget, then go for it, but don't do things and spend truckloads of cash just to please others. It's your special day and your hard-earned money so spend it on ways that make you both happy I say.

ETA - oh yeah, and getaway car for after the reception/dinner - I will just have new hubby carry my drunken booty back to our room (getting married at the resort)

Note to self, make sure said new hubby doesn't expect ME to carry his drunken booty...........

 

[Laila619]

I think favors are a waste of money. Hardly any guests really like them or appreciate them. No one likes to get personalized matchbooks or candles or cheap candy.

 

[miraclesrule]

Almost everything except the cake, the booze, the groom, and the ring.

 

[swingirl]

We borrowed a limo from a funeral home that our best man worked for!!!

No gifts for each other.

No gifts for parents. (they gave us gifts)

Made my own veil.

Husband still wears his wedding shoes on special occasions!! Best money ever spent!