Bride dies in "Trash the Dress" photo shoot

[Gypsy]

but I remembered what Kenny taught me about how to do a screen capture... posting from DH's computer where he has ALL SORTS of photos!!! woo hoo --- here's a blast from the past! Wow - no where near as glamourous as the beautiful dresses on today's brides and it is safely boxed up (somewhere!) in the house...

Wow, Enerchi, you MADE that? It is beautiful! (And the only dated looking part is the puffy sleeves - if you ignore those it looks like many bridal dresses I've seen in stores! If one of your daughters wanted it, you could alter the sleeves to be little cap sleeves or something, and have something totally in style.)

Totally and definitely! I'm so impressed by your talent!

 

[monarch64]

In response to the original question: this is very sad and unfortunate. I really cannot imagine one risking one's life to achieve the perfectly dramatic bridal gown photo. Whatever happened to weddings being happy occasions and brides wanting to convey their ecstacy through actual "in the moment" pictures? Does everyone now have to emulate models and have these bizarre photo shoots? I guess I am just out of the loop now and do not comprehend. Translation: I'm old. Oh, well!

 

[Jennifer W]

Enerchi--Beautiful!
I could see someone wearing your dress in the future, definitely don't rule that out.

I would have worn my mother's dress if it had fit me. With a few alterations, it would have looked beautiful. Alas, she was much smaller than I when she married.

Absolutely! I could see that dress being worn. It actually looks quite contemporary, I'm thinking more of Kate Middleton than 80s fashion from this photo. It's beautiful.

Haven, I'd have worn my mother's dress too, it was so pretty, but it was very,very short and my mother had lovely long slender legs. Mine are sadly not up to her standard. She got married in 1970. She did keep her dress though, and it was made into a Christening gown for my baby. There was only just enough fabric. It really was short.

 

[Laila619]

Ugh, how terribly sad.

 

[Tuckins1]

Really tragic. I have long thought the act was dangerous, as my dress was heavy and restrictive enough DRY, I would be afraid to be in it when it was soaking wet.

 

[Enerchi]

new article - photographers being cautioned....
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/story/2012/08/28/ottawa-photographers-concern-trash-the-dress-photo-shoot.html

 

[Echidna]

This is such a tragedy How awful that anyone should pass away in such circumstances. My thoughts are with her family.




On a personal note, this thread makes me relieved that I didn't post my own "dangerous", "bizarre", commercially-motivated post-wedding shots on PS (in strapless mermaid bridal uniform too!) For us, it was not about looking like models (I wish!) but about celebrating our love in my favourite childhood place, the same place my husband proposed and that we honeymooned. We could not hold the physical wedding there as it would have been a significant inconvenience to our guests, but I did everything I could to investigate that before we chose something more feasible

Did we wander at the edge of the ocean? Sure did! Did we get the dress wet? Absolutely! Did we do it safely? Of course. My photographer didn't charge me for the shoot. The (polyester) dress was completely unharmed- the drycleaners were impressed with how clean it was because the water washed away most of the dirt, and I plan to sell it in the near future (with disclosure, of course).

Just thought I'd share my perspective

 

[vc10um]

This is such a tragedy How awful that anyone should pass away in such circumstances. My thoughts are with her family.




On a personal note, this thread makes me relieved that I didn't post my own "dangerous", "bizarre", commercially-motivated post-wedding shots on PS (in strapless mermaid bridal uniform too!) For us, it was not about looking like models (I wish!) but about celebrating our love in my favourite childhood place, the same place my husband proposed and that we honeymooned. We could not hold the physical wedding there as it would have been a significant inconvenience to our guests, but I did everything I could to investigate that before we chose something more feasible

Did we wander at the edge of the ocean? Sure did! Did we get the dress wet? Absolutely! Did we do it safely? Of course. My photographer didn't charge me for the shoot. The (polyester) dress was completely unharmed- the drycleaners were impressed with how clean it was because the water washed away most of the dirt, and I plan to sell it in the near future (with disclosure, of course).

Just thought I'd share my perspective

Her poor husband.

And ditto, Echidna. Except I *did* post my gratuitous commercially-motivated post-wedding shots in BWW! We did them for the same reason as you...I wanted nothing more than to get married in what I consider my hometown (which we just moved back to last month!) but due to DH's elderly non-travelling grandparents, we married in his hometown. And when I got my dress wet, I did it in a fountain that only came up to my knees. We had the option of going into a river, but I was just not comfortable with the idea because I knew the dress would get heavy and I didn't want to take my chances. Oh, and my dress also came out juuuuust fine. I'm still debating what to do with it!

 

[Echidna]

This is such a tragedy How awful that anyone should pass away in such circumstances. My thoughts are with her family.




On a personal note, this thread makes me relieved that I didn't post my own "dangerous", "bizarre", commercially-motivated post-wedding shots on PS (in strapless mermaid bridal uniform too!) For us, it was not about looking like models (I wish!) but about celebrating our love in my favourite childhood place, the same place my husband proposed and that we honeymooned. We could not hold the physical wedding there as it would have been a significant inconvenience to our guests, but I did everything I could to investigate that before we chose something more feasible

Did we wander at the edge of the ocean? Sure did! Did we get the dress wet? Absolutely! Did we do it safely? Of course. My photographer didn't charge me for the shoot. The (polyester) dress was completely unharmed- the drycleaners were impressed with how clean it was because the water washed away most of the dirt, and I plan to sell it in the near future (with disclosure, of course).

Just thought I'd share my perspective

Her poor husband.

And ditto, Echidna. Except I *did* post my gratuitous commercially-motivated post-wedding shots in BWW! We did them for the same reason as you...I wanted nothing more than to get married in what I consider my hometown (which we just moved back to last month!) but due to DH's elderly non-travelling grandparents, we married in his hometown. And when I got my dress wet, I did it in a fountain that only came up to my knees. We had the option of going into a river, but I was just not comfortable with the idea because I knew the dress would get heavy and I didn't want to take my chances. Oh, and my dress also came out juuuuust fine. I'm still debating what to do with it!

And they were beautiful shots, vc10um. I enjoyed seeing them. If I remember correctly, you had your sassy short hairstyle by then...

 

[vc10um]

And they were beautiful shots, vc10um. I enjoyed seeing them. If I remember correctly, you had your sassy short hairstyle by then...

Awww, thanks! I rather liked them! And how sweet of you to remember my hair! Yes, it was indeed short and sassy by then...which reminds me, I need a cut.

But back on topic...I see absolutely nothing wrong with getting into a body of water in your wedding dress (either on your wedding day or sometime after!) regardless of the bride's (and/or groom's!) motivation...but precautions need to be taken. Common sense is like a muscle...it needs to be exercised!

 

[Gypsy]

Echina and vc, there is (IMO) a HUGE difference between splashing around in a fountain or in shallow water with a husband standing by or even fully immersed in a backyard pool, than in deep water of any kind with a current. I'd love to see your pics, will you post them here?

 

[Echidna]

Echina and vc, there is (IMO) a HUGE difference between splashing around in a fountain or in shallow water with a husband standing by or even fully immersed in a backyard pool, than in deep water of any kind with a current. I'd love to see your pics, will you post them here?

Totally agree, Gypsy.

Since it is 3am and I'm supposed to be writing a paper, I am happy to oblige

I've started a new thread here: https://www.pricescope.com/forum/bride-world-wide-grooms-grooves/trashing-the-dress-t179236.html

 

[vc10um]

Echina and vc, there is (IMO) a HUGE difference between splashing around in a fountain or in shallow water with a husband standing by or even fully immersed in a backyard pool, than in deep water of any kind with a current. I'd love to see your pics, will you post them here?

Totally agree, Gypsy.

Since it is 3am and I'm supposed to be writing a paper, I am happy to oblige

I've started a new thread here: https://www.pricescope.com/forum/bride-world-wide-grooms-grooves/trashing-the-dress-t179236.html

Oh I also agree, Gypsy! I just felt like the post-wedding shoots/TTDs were getting an unfair shake as a whole, when they can be quite an awesome opportunity to explore more of the B&Gs personalities/histories/things they feel are important. I can't find the link right now, but one of my favorite-ever TTDs was a bride who had grown up riding horses and the photog took pictures of her riding the horse through a field wearing her wedding gown. Obviously not possible on the wedding day, since the wedding and reception were in the middle of a big city (and obviously not involving anything dangerous, as the bride had been riding this horse for nearly a decade), but still awesome!

Here's a link to my post-shoot/TTD pictures from last October! https://www.pricescope.com/communit...g-session-and-trash-the-dress-session.169417/ They're extra special to me because about 6-months after these were taken, DH and I decided to move back here and buy our forever home, so now this is OUR hometown...not just mine!

 

[Haven]

Echina and vc, there is (IMO) a HUGE difference between splashing around in a fountain or in shallow water with a husband standing by or even fully immersed in a backyard pool, than in deep water of any kind with a current. I'd love to see your pics, will you post them here?

I completely agree.

Also, I see how some of our comments can seem judgmental or harsh, but after witnessing (too many) tragic, unnecessary deaths over the years as a teacher of high school and college students, I think many people cope with their feelings of dismay and loss by voicing how senseless the actions that led to to the death were. I've lost students to suicide, gang-related shootings, drownings in Lake Michigan after a night of partying, alcohol poisoning on camping trips, car accidents with a high driver, etc.--and in every situation so many respond by pointing out how senseless the situation was that led to the loss. I don't know if it's a coping mechanism or what, but I do know that I see a lot of people doing it. I don't think it's a sign of disrespect or judgment, rather I think it's just the way we work through our feelings about something that could have been avoided. Instead of curling up in a ball and weeping over the utter tragedy of the loss, we think, But why? Why do such a thing? And then we say it.

I also agree that people need a healthy respect for bodies of water. I've always lived near Lake Michigan, so I've heard stories about people drowning all my life, many of whom are actual swimmers. I wonder if people who don't live near a large body of water just don't have the same understanding of how quickly a current or a tide can pull someone under.

 

[y2kitty]

This is a very sad story and I feel bad for the woman's husband and family. What mostly strikes me is how self indulgent we have become as a culture. I read an autobiography by a gymnast whose parents were Romanian and what struck me most was that she has ONE picture of their wedding day and how beautiful she says her mother looked. How many pictures of oneself does one actually need?

 

[Gypsy]

I think you should 'do what you want'. If you find value in the TTD for whatever reason, do it-- but do it safely (which is what echina and vc did). Like I said, I didn't find value in it, personally, so I opted out. What concerns me about the TTD trend is the wedding industry making this seem like a requirement for the 'full wedding experience.' First it was bridal portraits before the wedding, which morphed in some areas into engagement shoots, and in other areas engagement shoots were added to the bridal portraits. Then it was videography, and now it's TTD. I hired the best photographers I could afford for my wedding, and it was expensive (over 5k) enough. The engagement shoot was included (fortunately), and was explained to us as 'an opportunity to get comfortable in front of the camera before the big day' which made sense to me. But I didn't hire a videographer (Gasp!!) and I didn't do a TTD.

I just worry that weddings are such an industry and so many people buy into all these 'required' items without thought to whether they really want/need them. Not that anyone on this thread did. But even I (and we all know that I have a backbone) felt the pressure to do the videographer and the TTD and was uncomfortable with my decisions at times when I was challenged on them.

So, what I am saying is, my harshness wasn't directed toward the bride, but rather the industry that creates this unsafe situation.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

You know, IMO, TTD is a gimmick created by the wedding trade to get you to a) spend more on photography and b) cut down on the number of second hand dresses so that they sell more new dresses. I enjoy seeing the pics sometimes, but I didn't see the value in it for myself, and didn't do it.

I'm not surprised in the least this happened, saddened yes, surprised no. I've seen a lot of wet wedding dress shots and I keep thinking "that's got to heavy and unweildy"... they are not meant for swimming. A pool is one thing. Anything with a current is completely risky. Which, IMO, is just common sense.

Completely agree. I think it is a huge waste to ruin a dress that costs several hundred to several thousand dollars. A much more noble way to get rid of an unwanted dress is to donate it so someone needy can have it. (After reading the rest of the posts, I am not speaking of after-wedding photos that do not ruin the dress.)

This is such a sad and needless tragedy. I am so sorry for her husband and family.

 

[y2kitty]

A few months ago (last year?) there was a story about a bridal store going out of business and destroying the dresses and most people online were horrified and said it was a waste to destroy perfectly good dresses. Yet they are ok with trash the dress photo shoots. I just think that is funny.

 

[yssie]

Reading back, my post was judgmental.

Brides *should* do what they want with their dresses. I'm very glad that my MIL didn't TTD, but it was her choice.

Truly though, that's not the part that gave me goosebumps (and "bridal uniform" was tongue in cheek, my reception gown met all the criteria ). There are some incredible photos of brides enjoying their dresses and celebrating their memories and loved ones - NEL's portrait with Byron (it wasn't a TTD but I'd guess he donated a bit of fur ) comes to mind. But... well, I grew up in NZ. Water, water, everywhere, and drownings drownings everywhere, very often in unlikely scenarios and very often with unlikely victims. Taking the risk of submerging oneself in a waterlogged wedding dress for a photo... is completely unfathomable to me.

 

[Circe]

I think this is the part that gets me most:

"Photographer Marco Michaud says he almost lost another client the same way in May."

Shouldn't that perhaps be the kind of thing that causes you as a professional to modify your policies?

 

[VRBeauty]

I think this is the part that gets me most:

"Photographer Marco Michaud says he almost lost another client the same way in May."

Shouldn't that perhaps be the kind of thing that causes you as a professional to modify your policies?

That was was my first thought too, but... the photographer quoted was not the photographer involved in this particular shoot. I do hope word will travel amongst those in the industry so they're more aware of the dangers involved in this kind of shoot.

 

[Circe]

I think this is the part that gets me most:

"Photographer Marco Michaud says he almost lost another client the same way in May."

Shouldn't that perhaps be the kind of thing that causes you as a professional to modify your policies?

That was was my first thought too, but... the photographer quoted was not the photographer involved in this particular shoot. I do hope word will travel amongst those in the industry so they're more aware of the dangers involved in this kind of shoot.

Ah, good catch! The word "another" threw me. And. indeed ....

 

[y2kitty]

I saw a picture of her dress and heels on the rocks. Heels on a rock? It was a tragedy waiting to happen.

 

[HollyS]

In response to the original question: this is very sad and unfortunate. I really cannot imagine one risking one's life to achieve the perfectly dramatic bridal gown photo. Whatever happened to weddings being happy occasions and brides wanting to convey their ecstacy through actual "in the moment" pictures? Does everyone now have to emulate models and have these bizarre photo shoots? I guess I am just out of the loop now and do not comprehend. Translation: I'm old. Oh, well!

THIS.

My DH and I declined to have a videographer at our wedding. We wanted to "remember" our day as how we saw it; the impressions the day made on us, how we felt, how we remembered people and moments. Because - - and this is tough for this generation of instant photos and videos to understand - - the only way to experience something is to be in the moment. No one else's interpretation, no one's photos, no one's videos, no one's opinion matters; only what you felt when you felt it.

I dislike phony moments captured for posterity, like staged photos. Our favorite wedding photos were not planned but 'caught' by our photographer. They are priceless. Most of the obligitory shots taken were never purchased by us from the photog's offerings.

Wading into water, with heaving clothing, is beyond stupid.

Trashing the dress is another ridiculous 'bridal custom' that was created as a way to milk more money from a bride; maybe buying a different dress to trash, and on more photos to buy and photographer's fees to pay. It's about taking your money by convincing you that you deserve to have these special moments.

Time for brides to wise up. And stop drowning, even if it's only in debt.

 

[HollyS]

This is a very sad story and I feel bad for the woman's husband and family. What mostly strikes me is how self indulgent we have become as a culture. I read an autobiography by a gymnast whose parents were Romanian and what struck me most was that she has ONE picture of their wedding day and how beautiful she says her mother looked. How many pictures of oneself does one actually need?

Again, THIS.

 

[madelise]

This is a very sad story and I feel bad for the woman's husband and family. What mostly strikes me is how self indulgent we have become as a culture. I read an autobiography by a gymnast whose parents were Romanian and what struck me most was that she has ONE picture of their wedding day and how beautiful she says her mother looked. How many pictures of oneself does one actually need?

Again, THIS.

The idea that extra photography is self indulgent can be carried over to many ideas about bling. I prefer Kenny's philosophy, "people vary". I will only be this young for this moment. I want as many photos as I can have of me in my 'glory'. And I hope I never get judged for wanting what others deem "excess" photography. No one said anything about going in debt for the photos. It's tragic this girl and her photographers didn't take precautions, especially after the photographer noted that he had been faced with dangerous moments before. But c'mon, why start making fun of a new tradition? If it's not for you, fine, but there's no need to start saying those who do want to do engagement shoots or trash the dress shoots are any more self indulgent than someone who doesn't. People self indulge in different ways. Heck, we're a whole forum of people who love indulging in jewelry! Who cares?

 

[y2kitty]

The idea that extra photography is self indulgent can be carried over to many ideas about bling. I prefer Kenny's philosophy, "people vary". I will only be this young for this moment. I want as many photos as I can have of me in my 'glory'. And I hope I never get judged for wanting what others deem "excess" photography. No one said anything about going in debt for the photos. It's tragic this girl and her photographers didn't take precautions, especially after the photographer noted that he had been faced with dangerous moments before. But c'mon, why start making fun of a new tradition? If it's not for you, fine, but there's no need to start saying those who do want to do engagement shoots or trash the dress shoots are any more self indulgent than someone who doesn't. People self indulge in different ways. Heck, we're a whole forum of people who love indulging in jewelry! Who cares?

Nobody has made fun of this new tradition yet, but since you brought it up when I look at SOME of these pictures I think in 10 years they will end up on a website similar to "awful family photos" or the one that makes fun of mall glamour shots in the 80s and people will collectively wonder what the heck they were thinking. If it makes you happy though, do it.

 

[HollyS]

"why start making fun of a new tradition?"

I'm not making "fun". I'm calling it unnecessary, expensive, and irrelevant to anyone's marriage, happiness, or recollection of their Big Day.

So, yes, I'm being even more critical than "making fun".

But, everyone CAN do exactly as they please, and should. My opinion matters not.

 

[minmin001]

yes, I was very sad when I heard about this on the radio few days ago. =(

 

[MissStepcut]

This is a very sad story and I feel bad for the woman's husband and family. What mostly strikes me is how self indulgent we have become as a culture. I read an autobiography by a gymnast whose parents were Romanian and what struck me most was that she has ONE picture of their wedding day and how beautiful she says her mother looked. How many pictures of oneself does one actually need?

Again, THIS.

I dunno if wedding photography generally should be classified as self indulgent. For me and lots of my peers (including all of my married cousins) the wedding photography had more to do with the desires of our boomer parents than our own preferences.