Birthdays at work - vent

[Hudson_Hawk]

Office birthday parties actually sound kind of juvenile, in my opinion. Maybe your manager's parents withheld childhood birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese when she was growing up, and she's looking to fill the void. Or she doesn't have her own family and friends to celebrate with when her own birthday rolls around, so she forces everyone in the workplace to do so.

Considering how many people, all over the world, do the office party thing, this is HIGHLY unlikely...and sort of rude.

Oh dear. Oopsies. Sorry to get your panties in a wad.

As I stated, my opinion. It seems weird to me that someone who is presumably not Martha Stewart would take it upon herself to plan the in-office birthday celebrations of twelve grown people, with not just cake but balloons and flowers. Balloons?? For grownups? At work?

As stated previously, the tone of your post/opinion is rude.

OP, what about writing a check for the larger amount and bringing it to mgr X, stating that it's your contribution for the year (write it off as "I so rarely have cash, so here's my contribution for the birthday fund"). Maybe she has no idea how much she's really asking everyone to chip in throughout the year. $5 here and there doesn't seem like a lot, but as you pointed out, it's a relatively large sum. Perhaps seeing the total in b/w would send a message that it's a little over the top. Or not, in which case you've contributed for the year and you don't have to worry about it again.

FWIW, we have a party pooper in our office. She participates but makes it clear that she's doing it to play nice. She's above cake and has stated to on many occasions. Honestly I'd rather her not even bother as her bad attitude just brings down an otherwise cheerful celebration.

 

[Ella]

Ladies please do not quote rude posts. It makes my job much harder to remove them. Thank you!

 

[blueyes157]

Thanks for all the advice and it is nice to know that I am not the only one that feels this way. It is not that I don't "like" the people I work with, but I am a manager as well and based on most of their performances (ick) it makes my job very frustrating and it skews my personal views and relationships with these people. We aren't "strapped" for cash, but newlyweds, renovating our house that we bought 2 years ago and planning to start our family, so $5 here and there does make a difference.

I am going to go get me some cake, jk!

I am mostly a lurker, for the past 3 years, but HudsonHawk is a very sweet poster and contributer to this site and doesn't deserve unkind words for her opinion, especially not her beautiful baby.. let's all play nice )

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Thanks for all the advice and it is nice to know that I am not the only one that feels this way. It is not that I don't "like" the people I work with, but I am a manager as well and based on most of their performances (ick) it makes my job very frustrating and it skews my personal views and relationships with these people. We aren't "strapped" for cash, but newlyweds, renovating our house that we bought 2 years ago and planning to start our family, so $5 here and there does make a difference.

I am going to go get me some cake, jk!

I am mostly a lurker, for the past 3 years, but HudsonHawk is a very sweet poster and contributer to this site and doesn't deserve unkind words for her opinion, especially not her beautiful baby.. let's all play nice )

Thank you, Aidan and I appreciate your kind words

 

[princesss]

Thanks for all the advice and it is nice to know that I am not the only one that feels this way. It is not that I don't "like" the people I work with, but I am a manager as well and based on most of their performances (ick) it makes my job very frustrating and it skews my personal views and relationships with these people. We aren't "strapped" for cash, but newlyweds, renovating our house that we bought 2 years ago and planning to start our family, so $5 here and there does make a difference.

I am going to go get me some cake, jk!

I am mostly a lurker, for the past 3 years, but HudsonHawk is a very sweet poster and contributer to this site and doesn't deserve unkind words for her opinion, especially not her beautiful baby.. let's all play nice )

Mmmm...cake!

Is there any way you could kind of set aside an envelope for this at the beginning of the year? That way you only feel the pinch once, but you've got it there when birthday season comes around. That, or offer to bring in brownies or something for the party - an 82 cent box of brownies goes a long way in my office! They'll never know you're cheaping out...

 

[rockzilla]

Depending on the company, or even department, office cultures can be VERY different...if the cake fund is the biggest issue you have, you can count your blessings

However, it does sound a bit like there are other things you aren't so crazy about in your department, and perhaps your frustration is getting focused on the birthday stuff as it is a bit of an easy target? If you dislike (or even "don't really like") the majority of people you are working with, that's going to make your job all-around pretty darn tough, and is probably something that will need to be addressed sooner rather than later.

 

[Shoopy]

We had a coworker who never chipped in for anything. And the opinion of him wasn't so great because of it.

We were a team of 15. Before we were allowed to use our budget for employee celebrations, we set it up so that the person who just had a birthday celebrated had to buy the birthday items for the next person. It worked out well because you only had to spend for one person and you were allowed to do whatever (cake and a balloon or breakfast and a card, whatever).

 

[Haven]

Life is short. I want cake and balloons on my birthday.
And liquor.

 

[Kaleigh]

No need for any rudeness. If I was asked over and over to contribute to birthdays and such yes it could be a bit much... How about doing a monthly celebration.. Keeps the costs down.. One cake per month as opposed to many...

My sig line says it all.. A piece of cake and a candle. Long story, but I wanted to do something over the top for my husband having dinner out and making a reservation at the restaurant. I asked the manager what I could do....


He said look lady, it's a piece of cake and a candle... Like that just says it all...


Summed up how I have been feeling for the past few years... It goes beyond cake, it's life.

 

[Kaleigh]

I was out tonight so missed the post made to our dear HH. Saying that and to her baby?? I have no words. Well I do..... But yanno rules and all.....

 

[iugurl]

No need for any rudeness. If I was asked over and over to contribute to birthdays and such yes it could be a bit much... How about doing a monthly celebration.. Keeps the costs down.. One cake per month as opposed to many...

That seems reasonable for a large office. Only 12 ppl work in her office. It doesn't seem too much to celebrate the day of the bday, unless 1/2 or more have the same bday month which obviously is quite unlikely... $ wise it wouldn't be any different if it was once a month or 12 bdays in whatever months.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I was out tonight so missed the post made to our dear HH. Saying that and to her baby?? I have no words. Well I do..... But yanno rules and all.....

Yeah, I missed all that HH too. And am so glad!

Either way, aren't there all those food allergies issues now (Nuts, eggs, milk?). Someone WILL keel over if the wrong cake is served. I'm allergic to milk and it'd be so LAME if someone brought an ice cream cake!

FWIW, if the group is going to spend $50 on me, I'd rather have a Sephora gift card than a bunch of flowers. OR as Haven metioned.. booze!

 

[Cehrabehra]

You say you're being paid to work - well your manager evidently thinks the occasional 30 minute celebration is worth paying you to attend. I think it's a nice gesture and eliminates the sorts of negative stuff that would come if people were left to their own devices and only SOME people ended up getting private celebrations. You can look at the negative side of it (really -it's just the money) OR you can look at this as a bonding opportunity, a time to wish good will to your coworkers even if you aren't all that fond of them. I hate to piss on good intentions.

 

[waterlilly]

[quote="

As I stated, my opinion. It seems weird to me that someone who is presumably not Martha Stewart would take it upon herself to plan the in-office birthday celebrations of twelve grown people, with not just cake but balloons and flowers. Balloons?? For grownups? At work?[/quote]

I agree. I think birthday parties like that are for kids. A professional and adult way to recognize it would be to simply have a cake during lunch break and pass a card around for everyone to sign. Anything more than that (especially on a regular basis!) indicates people have way too much time on their hands and perhaps the company needs to restructure a bit.

 

[mrswahs]

I don't think that you should personally be paying anything. The department should. In my past job we were all best friends so we paid for a cake and also spent about $50 on gifts for each other. BUT we were best friends first, coworkers second.

In my current job no one even recognizes birthdays and we aren't allowed to celebrate anything. It's horrible I miss at least some sort of acknowledgement for peoples' special days! My coworker got married and none of us even knew.

 

[mrswahs]

I agree. I think birthday parties like that are for kids. A professional and adult way to recognize it would be to simply have a cake during lunch break and pass a card around for everyone to sign. Anything more than that (especially on a regular basis!) indicates people have way too much time on their hands and perhaps the company needs to restructure a bit.

Agreed! In that case it's so much better than nothing.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Life is short. I want cake and balloons on my birthday.
And liquor.

Totally. Liquor. In fact, screw the cake. Bring in the blender and some tequila.

For some reason this thread reminds me of "The Office."

 

[iugurl]

I agree. I think birthday parties like that are for kids. A professional and adult way to recognize it would be to simply have a cake during lunch break and pass a card around for everyone to sign. Anything more than that (especially on a regular basis!) indicates people have way too much time on their hands and perhaps the company needs to restructure a bit.

You get that because there are 12 cakes and flowers a year, that the company needs to restructure? Ok...

There are only 12 people in her office. How long does it take to pick up a cake, along with a balloon and flowers (probably all at the same store) - at my office that part was done on the managers own time, so that is not even an issue. Then the next day everyone eats a piece of cake while chatting for 20 or so minutes. 12x a year.

WOW they must not ever work because all they do is party lol.