BC question

[anchor31]

I talked about this with FI yesterday and I wondered what your thoughts were on the subject. I''ll be seeing a doctor in May so I''ll ask him for his opinion as well.

I started taking the pill at 18 because of cramps so severe I would get sick and severe acne. However, I am seriously considering getting off the pill (I''m hoping those symptoms I had before will not reappear) because of side effects that are just as serious (loss of stamina, fatigue, mood swings, etc.). I''m getting married in August and I''m thinking about getting off some time before because I would like to *ahem* want to be intimate with new hubby, but once we''re married we''ll actually be needing effective BC...

I really want to stay off anything hormonal because I really feel that it''s been messing with my system in the last 4 years. In addition to the condom, what do you suggest we could use? I''ll be in grad school for 2 years after we''re married, so I''d rather not take any chances to get pregnant.

Thanks for your thoughts!

 

[VegasAngel]

I would look into an IUD ParaGard (Copper) or a Diaphragm. Probably best to make an appointment with your ob/gyn to talk about which BC option would be best for you.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/3/2007 9:19:15 PM
Author: VegasAngel
I would look into an IUD ParaGard (Copper) or a Diaphragm. Probably best to make an appointment with your ob/gyn to talk about which BC option would be best for you.

Definetly talk to your dr. but I just wanted to mention (and I''m not wanting to offend Vegas Angel with my comments - sorry) but I had the Paraguard for two years and it was truly TERRIBLE!!! I mean horribly bad. I''m not sure if explaining why would result in TMI, so I will just say that during that time of the month, for one or two days, I couldn''t even leave the house w/out fear that it would be evident that it was that time of the month

A lot more bad things came of it too, but I don''t want to explain on a public forum, you know?

The Mirena IUD isn''t as bad. I tried that one too and had less side effects.

I''ve never tried a diaphragm, but am betting your dr. will be more supportive of that than an IUD, especially if you haven''t had kids. When I tried the two IUDs, it was after having kids. In the end, DH had a vasetomy and I''m so relieved to be off any birth control!!!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

oops, double post.

 

[Blenheim]

I personally don''t have experience with it, but I''ve read that the Paragard often worsens cramps and makes flow heavier. I''m not sure how often this happens, but if you''re worried already about how your body will do hormone-free, it''s something to consider. I had a Mirena for a while, figuring that the hormone dosage was so much lower than the pill that it would do better for me, but it didn''t (bad cramping on a weekly basis, I often felt nauseated, etc). I know that it varies woman-to-woman and I don''t think that many react the way I did, but especially since you already know that you''re sensitive to hormones, if you''re considering it you should probably talk to your doctor about what hormones are in it and how they compare to what you''ve been taking and how comfortable you feel with that. By the way, I''ve never been pregnant, and it wasn''t a problem getting the IUD in.

Plannedparenthood.org has a section on birth control with failure rates of various barrier methods that might be worth looking at. You say that you don''t want to take a chance of getting pregnant, so you should be aware of failure rates and discuss with FH how comfortable you both are with them. If you''re concerned, you could double up on barrier methods as well -- condom + diaphragm, or something like that.

 

[Octavia]

Anchor, I know you aren't keen on hormonal methods, but I love the NuvaRing. It delivers a lower dose of hormones than the pill does, since the delivery method is more effective and steady. I had gone off BC for a little while before I started using the ring, and my cramps came back with a vengeance (not to say yours will, but my symptoms got steadily worse as I got older and now are just awful when I'm not on BC). I love the ring because I only have to think about it twice a month (getting rid of the old one and starting the new one), and I don't have pain or cramping AT ALL.

It might be a good idea to stop using the pill soon, so you have some time before you get married to see what symptoms (if any) come back.

As far as I know, IUDs are only for women who have given birth -- I've never heard of someone who hasn't already had a baby getting an IUD. If you're fine with still using condoms, then a combination of those and a diaphragm might work...but one of my best friends is a "diaphragm baby" so I personally would never rely solely on them.

 

[snlee]

How about using condoms and the fertility awareness method? FAM are ways to identify the days of the month when you are most likely to get pregnant so you don''t not have sex on these days. I would try that along with condoms.

 

[Joolskie]

Date: 12/4/2007 1:45:16 AM
Author: snlee
How about using condoms and the fertility awareness method? FAM are ways to identify the days of the month when you are most likely to get pregnant so you don''t not have sex on these days. I would try that along with condoms.

If you are interested in FAM, there is a great book available... "Taking Charge Of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. I am on the pill for non-contraceptive reasons. In the past, however, DH and I have used FAM to both avoid and achieve pregnancy. The book is a great resource.

 

[nytemist]

My cycles have been erratic for years, and when I would have one it could be kind of heavy sometimes. We definately did not want to continue using condoms after getting married, so I researched for a few months and decided on the Mirena IUD. With this one, it makes the period lighter, cramps less severe (if you have them) and in a lot women you stop having a period altogether after six months to a year. I had mine placed in January and haven''t had a period since. In the information I''ve read about the paraguard, it can make your period heavier and I certainly didn''t want that.

Really read up on all the informaiton you can, grill your doctor about it like I did- I asked her everything I could think of about pain, rejection, the failure rate, how the body reacts, everything. If you do decide on an IUD, be forwarned that you will be tested for everything- STDs, even with being in a stable, monogamous relationship, cervical abnormalities and pregnancy. They will make sure you do not have anything that could lead to a PID. And they will place it during a period to be as sure as possible that you aren''t pregnant.

I love it. Every so often I have a slight feeling like I am getting a period, but lasts maybe a day and that''s it. Nothing to take everyday, I feel good, no hormonal swings and it certainly things are more spontaneous.

 

[ljmorgan]

I third the suggestion of FAM and "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." Ovulation Predictor kits can help you figure out your cycle at first so you have a general idea, as a supplement to FAM.

FAM is not the rhythm method, which doesn''t work all that well! FAM is very effective if you take the time to do it correctly.

 

[nytemist]

And also I''ve never been pregnant either. The common belief is that since the uterus stretches after pregnancy, there is less of a chance of the IUD being expelled.

 

[Jas12]

Anchor-- DH and I dated 11 years before getting married and were sexually active for most of those. I have never been on the pill or any other hormonal BC (just simply b/c I don''t like the idea of putting extra hormones in my body each day) We used only condoms and never once did I have a pregnancy scare or a mishap with them. Maybe I am lucky, but I think if you use barrier methods correctly you are pretty safe.
Sure they are a little bit more inconvienient--that is the downside for sure, but for us it just became routine and not a big deal

 

[VegasAngel]

Mc, No offense taken. That is why I suggested she should make an appt. with her ob/gyn, One form of BC doesnt fit all. I personally hate Depo Provera. Turned me into a different person

 

[anchor31]

Thank you very much everyone. I knew I could turn to you fantastic ladies for honest and open advice and testimonials!

I really want to nix everything hormonal so it''s a no-go for the Nuvaring and Mirena. I''m a mess. I had to struggle not to start crying when my boss gave me some constructive criticism just now, and I''m not in my PMS period...

When I said that I''d like to want to be intimate with my new hubby once we''re married, I mean that we''ve been living together and sleeping in the same bed for 5 months and it''s not even difficult for me to abstain, if you get my drift... It''s like any sort of interest in sex has been slowly but steadily disappearing since I got on the pill.

I''ve heard of similar side-effects happening in women using the Nuvaring or Mirena (I''m glad to hear you ladies don''t have them!

), so I''d rather not take chances.

The FAM method sounds very intriguing, sounds like that coupled with the condom (which FI said he won''t mind using at all) could be the way to go. I hadn''t heard of this method before, I''d heard of the rythm method in my HS sex ed classes years ago and it really doesn''t sound that effective! I''ll definitely get the book and talk to FI and my doctor.

 

[rainbowtrout]

Another method is to use condoms and keep a dose of Plan B handy in case something breaks or is defective, etc. This is what I do currently. Even if you use FAM I would suggest keeping it about.

If you think about a Paraguard, get an ultrasound first. It's rare, but I almost got one and thank goodness I got the ultrasound, because it turns out I have a condition which would have basically made the IUD useless.


And I know you said *with condoms,* which is great, but I just feel obliged to point out another word for people who use only FAM--parents! Possibly TMI, but sperm can live up to 8 days in the vaginal environment and then you're preggo even if you were intimate 8 days before your 'unsafe' days...

No disrespect to those who have used this method successfully, it just doesn't have a high enough success rate for my taste (something like 70 percent I think)

 

[cellososweet]

hi. . i nth the Natural family planning and condoms route. If used correctly, NFP on it''s own can have a 90% success rate. You just have to have common sense (which is where the average rate of closer to 75% comes in). If used with condoms I really feel that you are good to go. You just have to be religious with it and serious about it. I have been using it for years with condoms. We are only intimate after ovulation and only with a condom. So, even if I''m not fertile, we still use a condom every single time. Of course we are going to start TTC in May, so that''ll be out the window and I get to use NFP for somethng else. Gettin'' preggers I had horrific experiences with birth control (nausea, migraines, unable to wear my contact lenses, digestion issues, exacerbated the hypoglycemia). By cutting it out it all but stopped. Good luck to you!

 

[cellososweet]

oh and p.s. the 90% effective rate is quoted from the American Pregnancy Org.

 

[anchor31]

Thank you again! I''m very familiar with the biological aspects of cycles and procreation as I''ve studied it ad nauseam in my physiology classes in college, so learning about FAM shouldn''t be that much hard work. I just ordered the book and I''ll see what FI thinks. Thanks for the friendly warning RT, I already knew that.

I''m a bit on the fence on whether I should stop the pill before or after the wedding... I''m afraid to start breaking out like crazy if I stop before, on the other hand I''m afraid I won''t be interested in having a wedding night if I wait...

Oh dear...

 

[Blenheim]

Actually, FAM using temperatures has a 2% failure rate with perfect use and FAM using cervical mucous has a 3% failure rate with perfect use. I forget typical use, but it's definitely higher than 70, I think more like 90%. You just need to be really good about recording pertinent data and timing things appropriately. And according to TCOYF, sperm can only live 5-6 days, and that only if you have the right cervical mucous to nourish them.

Also, you should use condoms for the first couple of cycles at least, until you have more experience interpreting things.

We're using condoms + FAM right now, and it's by far my favorite method that I've tried so far. I'm doing so much better off of hormones, and I love knowing what's going on with my body.

ETA: Source is plannedparenthood.org. I think I remember the same statistics from TCOYF, but verifying would require walking up the stairs and getting the book, and I'm feeling pretty lazy right now.

ETA, again: I broke out more with hormonal birth control than without it, so you may not know which will give you better skin until you try...

 

[surfgirl]

anchor, I used to be on the Pill for many years when I was younger. I never liked how I felt on it though...Flash forward to now...I''m a big supporter of condoms (and I feel like I cant promote them in my work if I dont use them myself). Women typically take on all the responsibility of family planning and I love that the man has to wear the condom! But on a practical note, it''s totally easy, cheap, non-hormonal, and when used correctly - and with an additional spermicide - just about as effective as the Pill. And you can stop any time, get pregnant without any side effects or waiting period.

 

[Blenheim]

The first time I tried to post this I got an error message, and the second time a freaking dog jumped on the keyboard and closed the window. Let''s see if the third time''s the charm...

Adding on to what Surfgirl said about condoms being cheap -- since you''re a student, you may be able to get them for free from student health.

 

[luckystar112]

I know how you feel anchor! I hate putting anything hormonal in my body too. Way too many bad experiences. Although since I got off of it about two years ago we''ve been using pretty..ahem...unreliable methods to prevent pregnancy, which obviously isn''t what you want.

Anyway, the whole reason I''m even responding to this thread is because I was talking about BC with my friend the other day. She started a new pill and woke up with her legs extremely sore...and of course she pretty much convinced herself that she had a blood clot or something. So we were talking about what she could replace the pill with, and I suggested a diaphram. She told me that she looked at a website and .2% of women have died using it. WHATTTTT?!?!?!?! I find that facinating, if it''s even true.

 

[anchor31]

Hm, I definitely should look into whether or not I could get condoms for free at students health at my college. I never thought of that.

So, ladies, do you think I should:

a) Get off the pill once my current cycle is done at about 7 months before the wedding and risk acne breakouts, or

b) Get off the pill after the wedding and risk "not feeling like it" on my wedding night?

FI prefers a) (no surprise there), but I''m really worried about having zits on my face and back on the wedding day...

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Another opton is to switch to progestrin only pill in the meantime. They tend to have the same good side effects with out as many of the bad ones. Unfortunately, you have hormone acne which is not very treatable with most types of acne medication short of acutane.
In addition to the condom, there are "natural" suppliments that reduce fertility. You should talk to a doctor before taking them, but black cohosh and juniper tea do have a certain amount of natural conterceptive value. I mean that you should use them with a condom, not instead of, they aren''t anywhere near that reliable, just a little boost. If you want I can look up a few others. I was in a human sexual history class and we covered a number of the most popular methods in the pre modern era.

 

[iheartscience]

I don''t know which BC you take, but I also had big mood swings/general bitchiness issues when I was on a regular dose BC pill (Ortho TriCyclen). I went on a low dose BC pill (Ortho TriCyclen Lo) and I''ve been very happy with it. There was definitely a major difference for me between regular Ortho TriCyclen and Ortho TriCyclen Lo for me.

I know you said you don''t want another hormonal method, but the low dose has been great for me-really like night and day. Maybe something to try before you switch to condoms alone or condoms and FAM.

I''m super paranoid about getting pregnant-it would pretty much be the worst thing ever! I don''t feel comfortable just using condoms because I''ve had a few break on me WHILE I was also on BC, and even that scared me. You''re supposed to use 2 forms of BC and I think that BC pills and condoms are the most effective, so that''s why I''m sticking with those!

 

[nebe]

I have a Mirena IUD (If you look through my posts you can find a thread for when I got mine) and I ADORE it. It's wonderful. I haven't had a period since I got it (I get migraines, no period is a good thing) and I've had no adverse side effects except for cramping during the first month. FH has only complained about the strings once but the doctor said it would take a while for them to "soften" and it hasn't been a problem since. My insurance even covered it in full! I've also never had a child and it still fit (barely, but it did and that's all that counts!).

They last 5 years, are 99.9% (higher than the pill) effective and after the insertion, you never have to deal with it. I've tried EVERY BC out there (because of my migraines) and this is BY FAR my favorite. I was allergic to the Ring and ended up losing the skin on my girly bits, so I never recommend that one. The patch could be an option for you to, maybe.

I still say Mirena though. I luff mine

Whoops. Read the posts Nebe!!

Sorry I wasted your time!

 

[rainbowtrout]

I think FAM + condoms would be quite effective guys, just not one for FAM on its own. 90 percent is still not the 97-98 of condoms, and I try to take into account the "average use" stats as well...

I noticed no one other than me seems to keep Plan B around, my doctor actually suggested it, has no one else's? It's nice to have it just in case (I'm actually allergic to spermicide, so that's a no-go as a backup).


Anchor--I was wondering if you had thought about potentially going off the pill now with 7 months left, seeing how it works (it clears your system pretty fast I think) and then potentially having time to try a low dose pill or other method? I second the lo-dose option, I became wacked out and almost suicidal on the high dose pills, but was much happier on lo--very few cramps, less PMS, etc (I miss them, actually). Neither affected my libido but I too have heard of it happening with hormonal BC. That said something else *could* be going on besides the pill there.

RE: free condoms from your school. Enh. If you're anything like the other women I know, you and the hubby will be particular about the brand, size, etc. Condoms can be a bit pricey but finding ones you like is worth it IMO. I'm also super paranoid and don't trust where the free basket of condoms in Women's Health has been or how long it has been there.

In short: I say go with Option A. You can always see a dermatologist and get on an acne prevention regime, etc--and you have 7 months to figure out what needs to be done! I would normally *never* say this--but you could even take a course of antibiotics the week or two before the wedding if it looks as if your acne will be terrible.

 

[Octavia]

Can you see a doctor sooner than May? You''ve gotten some good feedback here, and your doctor can probably add to it or suggest something else. Since you''re worried about the acne, it would give you a few months to see how things go, and if whatever you decide to try doesn''t work out, you''ll have time to figure out something else. Even talking to a nurse at your school''s clinic, if they have one, could help you decide for the time being. Good luck!

 

[Blenheim]

In case it wasn''t clear, I''d go off of hormonal bc now and see what happens. You have time to change things around if you''re not happy with your skin for the wedding.

My gyno (at student health) gave us a bunch of condoms when we decided to go off of hbc. They''re a normal brand, expiration date in 2011, and hubby''s fine with them. I suggested trying others (since I''ve heard that others might be better), and he could care less. And since he''s the one wearing them, I let him make that decision.

I don''t have plan B around. The one time that I took it, it made me really sick (I just don''t do well on hormones), and I just don''t like the thought of having to take it again. If I really needed to, though, it''s pretty easy to just pick up at the pharmacy.

 

[snlee]

rainbow, interesting about keeping Plan B around. I don''t keep it around and I never had to use it.

anchor, when I was on BCP I never felt like doing it either. It sucked. And when I stopped taking BC, I broke out all over my back. At the time those pimples never really bothered me. I never noticed them until I saw many dark spots on my back. Stupid hormone changes! As I have experienced both, I''m not sure which option is better. I suggest talking to your doctor to see what he/she recommends.