Autism diagnosis- 3rd time. I''m devastated.

[UCLABelle]

Asscherisme- I know that I am late replying...and I have no idea how you must feel...and struggle. I wanted to respond because my Mom works with autistic children, and has for years. I have been fortunate enough to meet them often. They are some of the most wonderful kids I know.

I am so sorry that you, and your children, will struggle, but I just wanted to let you know that there are support systems (people like my mom), family, friends and others that are going to help, and enjoying knowing your family....

 

[sunkist]

Date: 1/10/2008 1:45:43 AM
Author: UCLABelle
Asscherisme- I know that I am late replying...and I have no idea how you must feel...and struggle. I wanted to respond because my Mom works with autistic children, and has for years. I have been fortunate enough to meet them often. They are some of the most wonderful kids I know.


I am so sorry that you, and your children, will struggle, but I just wanted to let you know that there are support systems (people like my mom), family, friends and others that are going to help, and enjoying knowing your family....

Asscher, I don''t know if you''re around checking on PS anymore, but I just wanted to say that I''m so sorry for what you are going through. I hope you are able to get help from people like UCLABelle''s mom, because that is a lot to handle on your own. If you need help, ask for it, get it. I also believe that these precious children of yours were given to you for a reason. They need you and all the love and caring you can give them, and you need them. Best wishes to your family.

 

[asscherisme]

Thanks for the support. I don''t plan to be around a lot for a while, just need a break. I know there are support people, and my older son has an amazing therapiist. She has helped me deal with it as well and has given me some ideas for resources. I am doing my best to no become isolated because thats a very easy trap to fall into. And yes, my children do have some amazing qualities to them. Unique, special, and their own way of looking at the world. Some days I feel overwhelmed by them and other days I feel so lucky to be their mom. I love them more than ANYTHING and am doing my best to take care of them and let them each live up to their full potential.

 

[snowflakeluvr]

hi,
i am thinking of you and am glad you posted because i have been looking for a response about your situation. i felt that i got to know you a little when posting about your circumstances and your relationship with your hubby(mine is similar, remember?)you are a very strong person and those awesome kids are blessed to have you as a mom. i hope you find the support you need. i will be praying for all of you, asscherisme....i have had a trying few years. i am anxious to see the silver lining or the light at the end of the tunnel, and still trying to laugh, love and enjoy my family in the midst of some very hard times. loving our kids is the easy part...it''s the rest of it that stinks sometimes

take care

 

[AGBF]

Date: 12/21/2007 8:12:43 AM
Author: lumpkin
I''ve been thinking about marriage when the children have autism, or really any other major issues. There have been times when I wondered if it would be easier to parent if I weren''t married to my husband

I have been thinking about assherisme and how she is doing. She was in a very challenging situation while this thread was active and I do not know if she returned to Pricescope in any other forum since then.

I have had my own problems as a parent, about which I have posted elsewhere. My husband is not a bad man, he loves me and he loves our daughter, but somehow he always knows how to be part of the problem whenever we get onto a stressful situation. Then I have to deal with the situation and my husband''s craziness. I have learned to tune him out and go about my business more over the years. In the beginning I used to feel that I had to get his consent to do what was necessary. Nonetheless, it is very trying to have a crisis with a child and a spouse acting completely irresponsibly and irrationally.

Ideally one would like support from a spouse. If one cannot get support, at least one would like not to have one''s spouse act as a constant irritant!

Deborah

 

[lumpkin]

Date: 2/9/2008 6:38:03 AM
Author: AGBF

Date: 12/21/2007 8:12:43 AM
Author: lumpkin
I''ve been thinking about marriage when the children have autism, or really any other major issues. There have been times when I wondered if it would be easier to parent if I weren''t married to my husband

I have been thinking about assherisme and how she is doing. She was in a very challenging situation while this thread was active and I do not know if she returned to Pricescope in any other forum since then.

I have had my own problems as a parent, about which I have posted elsewhere. My husband is not a bad man, he loves me and he loves our daughter, but somehow he always knows how to be part of the problem whenever we get onto a stressful situation. Then I have to deal with the situation and my husband''s craziness. I have learned to tune him out and go about my business more over the years. In the beginning I used to feel that I had to get his consent to do what was necessary. Nonetheless, it is very trying to have a crisis with a child and a spouse acting completely irresponsibly and irrationally.

Ideally one would like support from a spouse. If one cannot get support, at least one would like not to have one''s spouse act as a constant irritant!

Deborah

In another thread she said she was separating from him. I think there were other problems within the marriage, though.

That''s true about the constant irritant, although in my hubby''s defense, he''s not irritating that much. But right after getting my son''s diagnosis I didn''t know how to handle his responses and there were moments when I did wonder how we''d get through it all. Fortunately those moments passed and I''ve learned to ask for space when I''m irritated with him over the kids. Of course, *****I***** am never irritating.

Sounds like you and your husband have also learned to cope with parenting.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 2/9/2008 9:57:22 AM
Author: lumpkin

That''s true about the constant irritant, although in my hubby''s defense, he''s not irritating that much. But right after getting my son''s diagnosis I didn''t know how to handle his responses and there were moments when I did wonder how we''d get through it all. Fortunately those moments passed and I''ve learned to ask for space when I''m irritated with him over the kids. Of course, *****I***** am never irritating.

Sounds like you and your husband have also learned to cope with parenting.

I am not sure if we have learned to cope or not. I just know that I enjoy hearing what you have to say. It feels close to home. Thank you for sharing .

Deb

 

[lumpkin]

Date: 2/9/2008 12:24:57 PM
Author: AGBF


I am not sure if we have learned to cope or not. I just know that I enjoy hearing what you have to say. It feels close to home. Thank you for sharing .

Deb

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I must just start this post with a fact... Pricescope houses some of the strongest women I''ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know...

Asscher...I am not going to say that I am sorry for you. Sorry is the wrong word. I wish, for your sake, that the situation were different. But, you are going raise 4 wonderful children that will each shine in their own wonderful and unique way. What an incredibly special blessing. My heart goes out to you and your family as you navigate this trying time in your life.
I think your husband is very fearful of what others will say which is why he is really opposed to letting them in, and a little embarassed too. I would flat out tell him that you need the support of others in order to survive this and that if he cannot understand that, then you are sorry for him--but you refuse to be isolated because he can''t accept the facts. I would also tell him that by not addressing the diagnosis with your family and friends you are opening the door for assumptions on their part. Tell him that these are people whom are often around the kids, and that they will either pick up on things or already have picked up on things. You don''t feel comfortable hiding the truth, like you''re embarassed, and are ready to confront the issue and move on instead of being suffocated by it.

I wish you the best as you move on with the process.