at what $ amount should couple draw the line for registry wedding gifts?

[Dancing Fire]

i have seen were couples had over $1000 items on their registry gift list. isn''t that consider rude to ask for a $1k gift?

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Personally, I don''t really think it''s rude in all situations.

Even though my registry list is rather short (like one page), if you add it up my china adds up way over $1,000 since it''s over $100 a place-setting. I plan on buying a lot of it myself, my parents plan on buying some, Grandma, etc. So I guess it could be considered rude, but personally I don''t really think that is rude. I do think it is kind of rude however when people have like 5 pages worth of random things that adds up to over $1,000.

 

[LegalGal]

I don''t necessarily think it''s rude if there are only one or two gifts in this price range...perhaps if it was something the couple really wanted, a group of friends might all go in on the gift or something. Personally, I don''t see us putting on anything over $500, and even then, that will probably be limited to a few items.

 

[robbie3982]

I don''t think it''s rude at all. You can put whatever you want on a registry. That doesn''t mean anyone has to buy it though. We didn''t put anything that expensive on our registry, but we did have a few relatives who gave us checks for $1000.

 

[ephemery1]

Not rude at all... there are several different reasons people might do this. Personal examples:

1) The sales associate at Crate and Barrel advised us to put furniture on our registry, so that we could use our 10% off completion discount on it after the wedding. So we put some pricey furniture on there, not expecting anyone to buy it, then just went ahead and bought it ourselves for 10% off afterwards!

2) DH's cousins and extended family actually chipped in together to purchase one of the larger pieces for us... it was a wine cabinet, so they really enjoyed all being able to contribute to something they knew we'd be using for entertaining, since often our entertaining involves them. Personally, I like chipping in with other couples to buy a more substantial registry item... much more fun than buying towels or a blender or something!

 

[neatfreak]

Remember that you also get a completion discount so many couples add expensive things they will buy for themselves so they can get the discount!

I think it''s rude to have endless pages of expensive things and/or few or no inexpensive gifts...but one/two expensive things don''t bother me at all. There ARE certain things that I just won''t buy for a couple though...like videogames and things like that. They seem to be popping up on registries more often and that seems a bit odd to me...but it''s just a personal preference not to buy those things, so I don''t!

 

[somethingshiny]

Date: 7/1/2008 9:52:56 PM
Author: neatfreak
Remember that you also get a completion discount so many couples add expensive things they will buy for themselves so they can get the discount!

exactly!

And, a registry isn''t a demand, it''s a suggestion. Personally, we didn''t have anything over $200 on our registry (some odd years ago), but I wouldn''t think it was rude for someone to list a pricey item as long as there were also reasonably priced items.

 

[kcoursolle]

I don''t think it''s rude to have expensive items on a registry. However, I think it''s polite to have a *variety* or priced items on a registry so that couples who want to buy you a $5 spatula can or people who want to buy you a TV can... I do think it would be rude to *only* have expensive items on the registry.

 

[Kaleigh]

I don''t think it''s rude. But when DD comes to that time, 1k will be like 500 so why not. Just kidding!!!!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I don''t think it''s rude, either. And I''m not a big registry fan.

I personally didn''t register for anything over $50 because I hated the idea of people spending more than that, but when I go to weddings where there are $500+ items on the list, I don''t think twice about it. I just don''t buy them...

 

[miraclesrule]

Heck no, it''s not rude!! It''s a fun exercise for the couple to go through and make a "wishlist". Most of the time they don''t believe that they will get most of that stuff, but it''s like "kids in a candy store".

One of my friends had a flat screen T.V. on her list and I was cracking up and asked her about it. I had already known that her hubby was the one to put that on the list, but she was telling me that they thought "WTH", we''re just going through the store and dreaming about the stuff we would like to have so why not scan or list the things you want. She didn''t expect to get any of the sheets that cost $100 for one flat sheet out of the set...but guess what...she did.

So, I say "Hell Yeah!"

My daughter''s FH put all sorts of crazy expensive knives on their list...actually I could tell by the list which things he picked and which ones she picked...and guess what...he is getting a few of them. He thinks he is a Samurai warrior or something. It must be the testosterone.

And she will get some of the All-Clad she chose, even though her FH thinks it crazy to pay $250 for a pan, but not crazy to pay that much for a knife to chop the food that will go into the pan.

Men...eesh...

 

[purrfectpear]

I think it depends entirely on the social circle of the couple. Or for that matter, they might know that parents or grandparents will be purchasing a substantial gift.

I only find it rude when the cheapest thing on the list starts at $500. Yeah, like that''s going to happen

 

[miraclesrule]

Date: 7/1/2008 10:47:34 PM
Author: purrfectpear
I think it depends entirely on the social circle of the couple. Or for that matter, they might know that parents or grandparents will be purchasing a substantial gift.

I only find it rude when the cheapest thing on the list starts at $500. Yeah, like that's going to happen

Ahahaha, Eggzactly!! Thank gawd for spatulas, cheese graters, and egg slicers. Reallllyyyyy, who thinks those egg slicers are a useful gadget when you can just use a knife?

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 7/1/2008 10:47:34 PM
Author: purrfectpear
I think it depends entirely on the social circle of the couple. Or for that matter, they might know that parents or grandparents will be purchasing a substantial gift.


I only find it rude when the cheapest thing on the list starts at $500. Yeah, like that''s going to happen

I agree, even though we have all the china and whatnot we don''t have anything over $250 and the least expensive things are like $10-20.

 

[Miranda]

I don''t think it''s rude. Many times people combine gifts for weddings and showers. The couple should put whatever they want on their list. The guest is not obligated to purchase it.

 

[Pandora II]

I had one ''very expensive'' item at $800 - (Kenwood food-mixer which FSIL has said she will organise a group of people to chip in together for - she asked me to let her know if there was anything we really wanted that she could do that for.)

Then I had loads at the $5, $10, $50, $100, $200 marks so there was choice for all budgets.

The only thing I thought was a bit odd was that I put the $5 and $10 items on for people like my student cousins who might want to give us something. Then a couple of our friends bought us $150 worth of the $10 items!

Now I''m not sure what to do about my poor cousins!

 

[Elmorton]

1k IS a little high, but at a wedding a couple of years ago, a bunch of us went together on a gift, and I ended up purchasing ALL of the dishes because there were no large items ON the registry! So I''m all for large items. Plus, you''d be surprised how many people give $500 + cash gifts, so I don''t think it''s wrong to give registry items in that range. A registry is NOT a list of what you expect to receive, but rather a tool for guests to use if they''d like some assistance in choosing a gift. Half of our gifts were things that weren''t on our registry, which I''m very thankful for.

The big new trend in my circle (mid-twenties) is for the groom to register for video game systems and entertainment stuff, and once you add all that up (games, controllers, the system, controllers, speakers, etc), it''s close to 1k. To me, that''s a little ridiculous. Granted, a lot of people already have everything they need for a home so they register for things they''d enjoy, but I want to give a couple a useful or long-lasting gift. Maybe I''m just lame

 

[Rhea]

It''s not rude. People can buy whatever they want from the registry and don''t have to choose the $1000 gift.

We got a percentage off anything that wasn''t bought for us so we added way more than what we thought other people would buy us. In fact, hardly anyone bought from the registry but it was great to get that 15% off for ourselves!

 

[anchor31]

Ditto what everyone else said. Our most expensive item was a 800$ cookware set, it ended up being the first thing bought off our registry. She bought it at 50% off during a sale, it''s still a quite pricey gift, but 400$ is better than 800$! Are we happy we went with an expensive, high-quality set? HECK YEAH!

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 7/3/2008 7:57:23 AM
Author: anchor31
Ditto what everyone else said. Our most expensive item was a 800$ cookware set, it ended up being the first thing bought off our registry. She bought it at 50% off during a sale, it''s still a quite pricey gift, but 400$ is better than 800$! Are we happy we went with an expensive, high-quality set? HECK YEAH!

This is a good point -- my mom often purchases registry items on sale, which allows her to buy things that are a bit higher-priced usually.

 

[jewelerman]

The couple can ask for any items they want,but i usually like to give the couple time for their gift...I give them so many hours of service...Instead of a gift, I have given consulting hours to help the couple find the perfect rings and other jewelry for the wedding, actually going with them to retailers or wholesalers to check quality and finalize price and make sure they recieve the proper answers and free benifits.Just yesterday I helped a couple who waited to use their hours...I helped them for 10 hours by painting the interior of their first home.One friend saves his hours until their anniversary or her birthday rolls around and he calls me to go shopping with him to find and make the deal for the jewelry she requests for that occation.

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 7/3/2008 2:08:18 PM
Author: jewelerman
The couple can ask for any items they want,but i usually like to give the couple time for their gift...I give them so many hours of service...Instead of a gift, I have given consulting hours to help the couple find the perfect rings and other jewelry for the wedding, actually going with them to retailers or wholesalers to check quality and finalize price and make sure they recieve the proper answers and free benifits.Just yesterday I helped a couple who waited to use their hours...I helped them for 10 hours by painting the interior of their first home.One friend saves his hours until their anniversary or her birthday rolls around and he calls me to go shopping with him to find and make the deal for the jewelry she requests for that occation.

What a thoughtful and unique gift.

I bet your hours are much more productive than many of the gifts a couple may register for!

 

[goldenstar]

I don''t think its rude if there are a variety of items to choose from. We have a sofa and dining set on our registry for the sole purpose of buying them ourselves with a discount later. We''ll end up saving a nice amount.

 

[Anna0499]

I agree with the others who think that as long as there are gifts for all price ranges, no judging about what a couple picks is needed. I think a variety of stores (at least three) should also be included so that people can easily access the nearest store or pick from less pricey stores if it''s not in their budget to spend $$$ on the gift.

 

[Dreamgirl]

I don''t think its rude either. Im thinking about one day registering at 2 places. The first place being more expensive items like china and what not. This would give people the option to buy me the more expensive stuff, or the cheaper stuff from the other place.

 

[musey]

Date: 7/1/2008 10:29:03 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
I don''t think it''s rude, either. And I''m not a big registry fan.

I personally didn''t register for anything over $50 because I hated the idea of people spending more than that, but when I go to weddings where there are $500+ items on the list, I don''t think twice about it. I just don''t buy them...

Ditto!

If those items are there, the couple either knows of some guests who may want to purchase in that range, or they hope to use the completion program to get it. I don''t find that offensive.

That said, the most expensive thing on our registry is $350, and the average is ~$35.

 

[nclrgirl]

I don''t think it''s rude. Like many have already said, it''s a wish list for the couple, not a requirement list.

I must say, the one thing that really makes me sad regarding weddings is the fact that a couple can''t make a decision without someone judging them and/or pushing age-old etiquette on them.

Why not find a gift on a couple''s registry that does fit your gift budget, or give a check, or a gift not on the registry?

 

[VegasAngel]

Nothing that hasnt been already mentioned but we arent obligated to buy a say $500 gift heck, we dont even have to buy off a registry or at all.

As far as I am concerned you can put all the $500 gifts you want on your registry I just wont be the one buying them.